


Stronger

by Skyshadow3246, Wolfloner



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Transporter, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes AU, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes never winter solider, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Canon Divergence - Iron Man 1, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Feels, He figures it out, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Maria Stark's A+ Parenting, Panic Attacks, Parent Bucky Barnes, Slow Burn, Straight Bucky Barnes (Or so he thinks), Tony Angst, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Past Child Abuse, Tony Stark past abuse, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2020-06-11 03:26:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 161,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19524625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyshadow3246/pseuds/Skyshadow3246, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner
Summary: Tony Stark returns home from Afghanistan to find his life turned upside down. Pepper and Rhodey are gone and he is alone. As he tries to piece back together his life he is kidnapped once again and sold away to the highest bidder.Bucky Barnes hates Tony Stark. His whole squad survived their tour overseas only to have a Stark missile misfire on American soil. He alone survived the blast but was left with only one arm as a result. The metal replacement arm Stark dropped at the hospital malfunctions the first time he's back in the field. Discharged from the army with no where to go he begins transportingprobablystolen art for an auction house.When he discovers his latest job is not art but instead the human he hates most in the world he must make a choice to help the bound man or to look the other way and deliver him to his buyer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am about half done with writing this so far so chapters will come up as I can pull myself away from writing more content to edit more stuff. I accidentally got myself addicted to Winteriron while writing the platonic stuff in Up and couldn't stop myself from writing this too.
> 
> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> The title stronger comes from [Stronger by the Score.](https://youtu.be/_ubnhgZgsfc)

Tony

He was falling. It made sense. The thrusters in his legs had reached maximum trajectory. There would be no staging or upper stage burn, this was it. Still he couldn't stop he scream that tore from his chest as he fell face first. The ground hurtled closer. He needed to flip. To dangerous to land like this. He pulled in his limbs, drew in as deep a breath as he could and rolled. The last few moments felt like an eternity, and then the world went dark.

He let out a quiet groan. Everything hurt. Forcing his eyes open he blinked. The sunlight streaming through the eye holes of the mask was too bright after so long in the cave. Cautiously he turned his head. It hurt but he was able to move. He wiggled his fingers and toes. All good. Maybe he'd managed to avoid any major spinal injuries. His arms were still encased in the wiring and framing of the suit's skeleton. He lifted his left arm to try to shake off the connections and a sharp cut of pain exploded at his shoulder. Letting his left arm drop he more carefully lifted his right. It ached but he could move it.

Shaking off the last pieces of the suit from his right arm he reached up and pulled the mask off. The sun burned at his eyes. He let his head drop back into the sand. “Not bad.” He mumbled. 

The sun beat down in his shoulders and chest. How long had he been out? It was morning when they had started the escape. A quick glance up at the sun told him it was now around noon. Any skin that had been exposed to the sun felt tight and hot, the beginnings of a sunburn. He needed to get moving. 

Using his right arm as a brace he pulled himself up. The shift in movement sent a fresh wave of pain over him, centering on the reactor. His vision went grey. He forced himself to breathe as deeply as he could around the obstruction. He couldn't pass out. He had to stay awake. When he felt like he could breathe again he started to work. Using his right hand he carefully freed his left arm from the last bits of the suit. 

Dropping back into the sand he began to half drag himself out of the leg sections of the suit. Thankfully his legs, while incredibly sore, seemed to have escaped any major injuries as well. He pulled some of the cloth from inside the suit. Grabbing a jagged piece of metal he cut one of the few intact water cooling lines and soaked the cloth. He wrapped the cloth over his head and face and stood shakily. 

Glancing over the horizon he turned his back on the plumes of black smoke still rising from the fire and began to walk. Each jostling step made both his left arm and the reactor throb painfully. He pulled his left arm up against his chest. He should have fashioned a sling from the wires and cloth. It was too late now. He wasn't going back. His left hand blocked the metal of the reactor from the sun. The last thing he needed was it superheating on him.

This wasn't how it was supposed to work. He'd fucked up the plan. He was supposed to have killed everyone he could then they are going to spend the day planning, eating, resting, gaining strength and then leave out tomorrow. Yinsen was going to take him to a village that was a days walk away and help him get home. But Yinsen was dead. If he'd just spent more time optimizing the initialization sequence, or even thought of starting it before they began to put the suit on the other man would still be alive. 

He stumbled going down hard on his right knee. A shout of pain tore past his teeth before he could stop it. Stumbling back to his feet he kept moving. He needed to find somewhere he could survive the night. While the sun was miserably hot now when it went down it would likely get below freezing and he was only wearing a tank top and what was left of his dress pants. 

His eyes searched the horizon but he saw nothing but heat shimmering up from the sand. He turned to make sure the smoke was still directly at his back and continued. Each hill he crested he looked for any signs of a burned out tree or cave or anything he could use to survive the incoming night.

His tongue felt thick and swollen in his mouth. What were the symptoms of heat stroke? Maybe he didn't need to worry about the night after all. Maybe the sun would get to him first. He pushed the thought away. He couldn't die. Not yet. He had to fix things. He had to make things right.

The sun began to drop lower and lower on the horizon. Either the fires had died out or been put out because he could no longer see the smoke. His legs shook with the exertion of moving through the sand after so many hours. He couldn't stop. Stopping meant death.

It was starting to get dark. He needed to find something, somewhere to be. He-

The sound of helicopter blades made him spin. In the fading light he could clearly see the Stark logo on the side as it flew over. He lifted his right arm and called “Hey!” Waving frantically he watched as the helicopter circled back. A hysterical bubble of laughter pressed through his lips as and he yelled again before letting his legs give out.

The helicopter landed and Obie stepped out, crossing the sand towards him. “Tony!” The other man called as he approached. “God Tony. You're alive! Come here, my boy.” He pulled Tony to his feet.

Tony smiled weakly. “Hey Obie.” His voice was tight, this throat raw.

“Come on. Let's go home.” He nodded, stumbling the last few feet to the copter. He dropped into one of the back seats. He was going home. He swallowed back the tears that tried to form at the edges of his eyes. No one passed him a headset but he was fine with not having to talk. 

Obie tapped his arm and pointed. He leaned over. The fire still smoldered in the darkening desert. Obie pointed at Tony then back down at the fire. He nodded. Obie said something into his headset but he couldn't hear it. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the seat of the helicopter. 

The sun had fully set by the time they made it back to the runway. He was relieved to see one of his private planes already fueled and ready. “Go ahead Tony. I need to talk to the pilot.” 

Tony nodded. The temperature was plummeting and he was ready to be inside the heated plane. It wasn't the same one he and Rhodey had flown in on. This one was a strictly business planes. The inside held four sets of four seats. Each set had two seats facing forward, a small table then two seats facing backwards. A few minutes later Obie climbed into the plane and pulled the door closed. “He's not coming back with us?” Tony asked.

“No. He's local. Stand up, let me get a look at you….What's that?” Obie's fingers reached for the glow of the reactor. A ripple of panic shot through him and he was backing up before he even realized it. 

“Easy Tony. What's going on?” Tony's eyes checked the empty plane before carefully pulling up his shirt to show him the reactor. “Is that?”

“Yeah. I was able to miniaturize the arc reactor. It's how I escaped.” 

Obie’s eyes were wide. “Sit down and tell me everything.” Obie grabbed three bottles of water and some sandwiches from the hostess cart and sat in front of him.

By the time he'd eaten through three sandwiches, drank two bottles of water and finished detailing everything from his capture to his escape he felt completely drained. He let his head drop back against the seat, his eyes closed. “We have to shut down the weapons manufacturing sector of Stark Industry, Obie.” He said quietly.

“Shut it down!? Tony we make weapons. It’s what we do. We can't just shut it down.”

“What I saw out there, what happened to those Americans, it isn't right. Something somewhere is wrong. Until I can find out how the ten rings got  _ my _ weapons we have to shut it down.”

Obie was quiet a moment. “Okay listen when we get back we are going to go on pretending you're dead. I'll get you home, get groceries going but you lay low. Once I get the board to sign off on it then you can ‘come back’. If the board thinks it's you pulling the strings they may try to shut you out.”

He nodded. “I need to tell Rhodes though. And Pepper. She will know too. Jarvis-”

“Tony...A lot has changed while you were gone.” Obie's voice softened.

“Changed? What do you mean changed?” The tiredness gave way to uncertainty and he lifted his head to look back at Obie.

“Colonel Rhodes’ body was never found after you were taken. Its presumed he was blown up during the attack. Then a few weeks after Pepper went missing and turned up in Afghanistan a few-”

“Afghanistan?” Tony cut across.

“Miles from where the attack was. No one knows why she came over but he prevailing theory is she was coming to look for you.” Obie finished.

“No. No that doesn't make sense. She wouldn't. And I.” His heart was hammering, each beat painful as it bumped into the reactor casing. “I.” He stood and stumbled to the bathroom. He splashed water on his face. A sharp pop came from the battery connected to his chest as the hand on the back of his head pulled him up out of the water. He gasped, desperate to pull in even a breath of air before. He couldn't breath. He was drowning. This would finally be it. The time they held him under too long. Couldn't breath. Couldn't.

“Tony!” A banging made him jump. He blinked. He was bent over the sink in the bathroom of the plane. Safe. He's escaped. He was safe.

“Yeah. Be right out.” He called back to Obie.

He looked up at his reflection in the mirror. His face was stained with dirt and blood. He grabbed the hand towel and soaked it in the sink before carefully wiping his face clean. His skin was red and sensitive. He probably had at least a sunburn. The faint discoloration of bruising was beginning to show too. He'd be every color of the damn rainbow by tomorrow.

When he was sure he could breath he stepped out of the bathroom. Obie was back in his seat. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry.” He dropped into one of the empty seats in a different group of seats from Obie. “I'm gonna get some sleep.”

Obie nodded. 

He jumped as the planes planning gear touched down and the plane bounced. Everything hurt. The reactor most of all but everything. He managed to stifle back a groan as he sat up. “Welcome back Tony.” Obie said with a smile. “We have a car here to take you back. I'll drive that way no one will know you're back.”

He nodded and followed Obie to the car with blacked out windows. Every breath felt like fire burning around the reactor. He was so ready to get home, get clean. “Tony?”

“Hmm?”

“So if I understood right yesterday, that reactor is keeping you alive?”

“Yeah.” He reached up and touched the cool metal.

“I'm sure you already thought of this but you should probably make more, just in case.”

Tony nodded. “I plan to. This one is only a prototype.”

“Do you need a doctor? I'm sure I could find one to pay enough to-”

“No. No doctors.”

Obie nodded. “Well, if you change your mind.” In spite of his words, Obie sounded relieved. 

When the car pulled up outside his house he wasn't sure he'd ever felt so relieved to be home. “I had some of your favorites delivered. They are in the fridge. Text if you need anything.”

“Thanks Obie.”

He walked up to the door and rested his hand on the scanner. 

“Welcome home Sir.” Jarvis said, the digital voice warm and welcoming.

“It's good to be back J. Begin prepwork in the lab. I am going to need a complete medical rundown but first, I'm going to shower.”

“Very good Sir.” 

Climbing the stairs proved to be more challenging than he'd expected. Each step made his knees ache and burn. Sheer will brought him up the spiralling staircase and into his bedroom. Gingerly he pulled his shirt off, careful not to jostle his left arm too much. He tossed the shirt in the trash. Pants and underwear followed. He avoided looking in any of the mirrors as he limped to the shower and cranked the heat on full. Steam billowed from the rain heads and in under a minute the massive bathroom was filled with steam. The moisture in the air made him cough but he didn't try to vent it away. 

He turned the cool water on, adjusting the temperature until it was right on the edge of too hot. Tentatively he stepped in careful to keep his face out of the water. He jumped out of the water with a hiss of pain as the hot water washed over his sunburned skin. He adjusted the water before stepping back into the simulated rain. 

As the water ran over his back and shoulders he felt the energy drain out of him. Logically he knew he was just coming down from the adrenaline that had fueled him probably since he had gotten captured to begin with. It didn't make the weight of pain and exhaustion feel any less overwhelming as it rolled over him. 

He forced his eyes open wide. He couldn't rest. He needed a full medical workup from J to be sure he wasn't dying in the next few days then he had to get a replacement built for the reactor. Even Obie had pointed out if the one in his chest failed he was spectacularly fucked.

Tilting his head as far back as he could to keep his face out of the water he turned. The hot water hit his chest and shoulders, he was dimly aware of the most excruciating feeling of pain he'd ever felt and then the world went dark.

He jumped, trying to scramble to his feet, he braced himself against the wall and his left arm gave out his head cracking against the glass wall as he fell. “Sir please try to calm yourself.” It was Jarvis. He was home. He was in the shower? He blinked.

“J...? What?”

“You were showering and then you fell unconscious. Until you complete further updates, I am unable to provide more detailed information until you reach the lab.”

He closed his eyes and let his throbbing head rest against the shower wall. He had been showering, then his chest… His hand flew up to the reactor. Still there. Still intact. He took another breath. Had the water? He cupped his hands and collected water in his palms. Carefully he poured it over his chest. It hurt around where the reactor met his skin but nothing like before. He tried again letting water fall more directly on the reactor. Same result. It hurt a little but nothing like-. A sharp pop and a lighting blast of pain issued from behind the reactor. He forced himself to breath, focus on staying conscious. 

“J?” His voice sounded weak and distant past the throb of his pulse. “Reactor… Not watertight… Log it “

“Certainly sir.”

It felt like hours before he managed to pull his breathing back under control and stand. He collected a clean washcloth and wet it before beginning the slow process of cleaning around the reactor. The pain made his hands tremble and his muscles weak but he had to get it clean. If it got infected he was fucked.

It took far longer than he'd have liked to clear away the visible dirt and sand from the healing tissue around the reactor. He grabbed the sprayer off the wall and switched off the rain. Carefully he washed everything below the reactor. He soaped up, avoiding his chest and shoulders all together and rinsed again before washing his hair. At least he no longer smelled like he'd spent a lifetime in a cave. “J?” He asked as he dried off. “How long have I been gone?”

“Three months, two weeks, and five days.” 

Somehow that felt like too long but also not long enough. He nodded. “Once my arm is better I'm upgrading you so you can see everywhere instead of just hearing.” He said, tossing the towel at the hamper before wandering into the bedroom.

“Very good, sir.”

Pepper had always protested the idea of Jarvis seeing everywhere in the house but now… He shook his head trying to clear those thoughts away. He couldn't right now. He had to get the reactor fixed, get it upgraded. He wouldn't do any good for anyone if he was dead.

“Show me the stocks, and any other important information since I've left.” He said rummaging through the dresser. He could do this. He could manage the company now. He just needed to focus. 

The windows rippled as the invisible screens pulled the data he'd requested. There was an obvious drop in the stocks after he'd been suspected dead but it seemed to have bounced back within a few days. He crossed to the window. “What happened here?” He pointed to the spike in stock prices. A news story appeared showing Obie next to…he blinked. “J, did we release prototype 428.a?” 

“The prototype was completed after the announcement of your suspected passing.”

“Those plans weren't even on the Stark server. Did they come here?” 

“Yes sir. Obie came and collected a few boxes of schematics.”

He pushed a hand through his hair. It made sense. The company couldn't just die with him but the knowledge that they had come to the house, taken his ideas. “Add update security protocol to the list, J.”

“Of course sir.”

He sat in the bed, pulling on boxers and sweatpants. He wasn't about to try real clothes. His knees protested every step down the two flights of stairs but it was more manageable at least than going up.

Stepping into the lab felt like letting out a breath of air he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. Dum-E trundled over chirping happily with U on his tail. He couldn't help the smile that spread as the two bots crowded him. “Yeah yeah sorry to have worried you.” He said. Dum-E clicked his claw reproachfully at his sarcastic tone. U's camera spotted it first. His servos whirred softly as he moved to get a better look at the reactor. Dum-E followed U's shift in attention noticing too. “Don't touch. It's what's keeping me alive.” He warned softly. Dum-E let out a shrill whistle of concern. “I'll be okay. At least I think I will. J has to check me over.” He moved around the two doting bots and hopped into the medical table. 

“Sir I feel I must remind you that I don't have any medical-”

“You have webMD access right? Close enough. We aren't going for perfect here. I just need to know if I'm going to keel over in an hour or two. Is that too much?” When Jarvis was quiet he leaned back. “Run every scan we have.”

“Of course sir.” He could feel Dum-E and U watching as he lay still. “Scans complete.”

His chest felt tight. He stood and moved to the screens at his desk. A wireframe of a human stood in the monitor with a zoomed in view of the chest. “It appears that to make room for the housing of the reactor your sternum has been almost completely removed.” He watched as the sternum on screen faded until only a tiny fragment at the top was left. “This has left most of your ribs floating. Past the bone structure,” the bones disappeared on screen, “the housing displaces both your lungs and heart. This has decreased your lung capacity between 15% and 30%. Because if this your chance if pneumonia is increased. During times of elevated heart rate your heart may come into contact with the wall of the housing. This may weaken or injure your heart over time. Less critically the back of the housing is pressing on your esophagus and may make eating larger bites of food difficult.” He had turned away from the diagram of the person his eyes instead fixed on the words Jarvis spoke as they scrolled across the screen. “Finally, the pectoral, external oblique, and rectus abdominis have been displaced. You may experience discomfort lifting your arms above your head or bending too far forward or backward. Sir I really must insist that you see a real Doct-” 

“What are the immediate threats.” He cut past Jarvis.

“The skin around the housing has not fully healed and is at extremely high risk for infection.”

“Is that why it's still hurting?”

“That is highly likely.”

“What's the healing time on something like this?”

“There is nothing on record like this, Sir.” 

“I know that Jarvis!” He snapped. Taking a slow breath he was able to reply more calmly. “Find something similar.”

“After a thoracotomy it is common to feel tired for 6 to 8 weeks. Your chest may hurt and be swollen for up to 6 weeks. It may ache or feel stiff for up to 3 months. You may also feel tightness, itching, numbness, or tingling around the incision for up to 3 months. Your doctor will give you medicine to help with pain.”

“It's been three months already.”

“It is likely the area has suffered at least one infection due to unavailable hygiene that has slowed progress.”

“Find a doctor who can prescribe pain meds without a visit. And antibiotics. Strong ones.”

“Sir, I'm not sure I-”

“Make it happen J. Wipe all records of the scan that show any part of the reactor.”

“Of course Sir.” He could hear the frustration but ignored it. He moved over to his work bench and began grabbing paper and pencil. He didn't need anything about the reactor getting pulled from the server. It was far too dangerous right now. "You also have a full thickness tear on your left rotator cuff." Jarvis tone had returned to normal.

He reached up and touched his left shoulder. That explained the pain. “Did you find the break in the water seal?” He asked, sitting to work. 

“There is a 2mm gap on the bottom left side. It appears to have been damaged rather than a defect.”

He settled over the table and began to work. “Music on.” The wall of sound quieted his mind and he began to draw.

“Your prescription will be available shortly. Shall I request Mr. Stane to pick them up?” Jarvis’ voice cut through the music. He looked up from the basic shape he'd roughed out.

“Yeah.”

“Sir, you need to consider eating soon. It's vital you keep up-”

“Mute.” 

The design slowly began to take shape. Each measurement he noted incorrectly, each note about an element changed. He could remember the right information but if anyone else tried to pick it up and make it, the creation would likely explode long before they got close to completion. Even if Obie had stolen the schematics to save the company if Howard was around to know he'd stopped making those kind of anti theft changes to his schematics the man would have come unglued. “Never write down anything they can take.” He'd said over and over. If he found designs Tony had done with correct measurements Howard would burn them and make him start again. It had only taken a few times to learn that lesson.

A knock on the glass quieted his thoughts. He looked up as Obie dialed in his code and stepped in. "Jarvis mute music." The silence made his ears pound. Obie held up a prescription bag.

"Jarvis had me pick this up. I thought we agreed no doctors Tony." Obie tossed the bag to him.

"The only doctor I've been to is Dr. Jarvis." He said frowning at the weight of the bag. "Fuck Jarvis how much is in here?" He began to pull out bottles. 

"Without seeing you the doctor wanted to prescribe a range of antibiotics and pain medicine. He also very firmly suggests visiting at your earliest convenience."

There were four antibiotics and three kinds of painkillers in the bag as well as clearly hand written instructions in how to take them and how often. "Is this the reactor?" 

He turned to see Obie looking at his work. It made his skin prickle. Too many years of Howard looking over his shoulder. Obie wasn't like that. "Yeah. The start."

"Looking good Tony. Looking good. I'm surprised you chose to go old school." Obie lifted the paper. 

He tried to shrug but ended up only managing to twitch his shoulder before the bloom of pain from both his chest and shoulder stopped the movement. He grabbed one of the pain pill bottles, opened it and tossed back a pain pill. The pill tasted chalky and was hard to swallow dry but he managed to choke it down.

"Need anything else from me?" Obie asked easily. He shook his head. "Take care of yourself Tony. Can't have you disappearing on us again okay?"

"Yeah." He said. Once Obie left he opened the antibiotic bottles, careful to get the dose written in the note correct. He crossed to the fridge and grabbed a water

"Sir, I must advise you that you will be unable to safely consume any alcohol with the pills you are currently taking."

"Yeah, saw that in the note. Music on." The music swelled from silence to prevent as jarring a transition. He sat back at the table and continued to work. Jarvis reminded him when to take the antibiotics but otherwise no interruptions came as he worked. Once he had a drawing of what was in his chest he switched to a red pencil and began to make modifications. 

"Sir. I really must insist you eat." He sat up from the bench, his neck and back groaned in protest.

"Why? How long has it been?" His head felt fuzzy. 

"..approximately twenty six hours since your return home." 

"Yeah. You're right. I need to..." He stood slowly, everything felt tight. He carefully stretched his left arm then letting it fall limp to his side he yawned and stretched his back and shoulders before lifting his right arm to stretch. It got halfway up before a lighting snap of pain flared around the reactor. "Fucking damn it!" He grabbed an empty mug from one of the tables and flung it at the wall where it exploded in a shower of dust and ceramic. His hands came up to his hair, pulling at it as he crumpled to his knees. A wordless yell of frustration erupted from his chest. 

How was he supposed to do this alone? Tears threatened to fall at the anger began to melt into anguish and fear. His whole life he'd had someone there. Edwin and Ana as a child, Rhodey in school, Pepper after he took over the company. But now...A touch on his shoulder made him jump. Dum-E was next to him, beeping softly with concern. He heard the soft scrape of ceramic and knew without looking U was cleaning the cup. 

He reached up and touched the cool metal of Dum-E's arm and the robot beeped again. It didn't matter if he could do it. He didn't have a choice. Bracing himself on Dum-E's housing he pulled himself up. The robot clicked his claw in question. "Yeah. I'm okay." He patted the bot before turning to the stairs. 

Blessedly his legs had healed enough that he stairs were less horrible than before. He looked out at the waves and even though he hadn't surfed in years he found himself craving the freedom to spend hours out in the surf. He'd never been great but it hadn't stopped him from enjoying.

He crossed to the fridge. Obie hadn't been kidding. The fridge was packed with all his favorites. He briefly considered the pizza that took up most of the bottom shelf of the fridge until his eyes caught the sushi bag. He yanked it out of the fridge, and moved towards the table before stopping. It was too quiet up here. He carefully managed the stairs back to the lab. Dum-E and U both chirped at his return.

His stomach audibly growled as he sat back at the bench. He inhaled the first few pieces without really even tasting them. He forced himself to slow down and savor the next bite. He couldn't stop the groan of pleasure if he wanted to. After months of basically gruel water the explosion of flavor was incredible. He powered through the whole bag even though there'd been enough in there for probably at least two if not three meals. "J is it possible to die from sushi overdose?" He asked. His whole body felt sluggish from inhaling so much food so quickly. "Don't answer that."

"You may have been gone for awhile but I do in fact still remember sarcasm." Jarvis said. He couldn't help but smile at the snark in his tone. 

Standing he moved over to the couch and dropped into his back. The jostling made his arm hurt but he didn't care. He didn't even remember grabbing a pillow before darkness fell over his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a gentle touch of angst with lots of cute bots mixed in for good measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

He awoke from a dreamless sleep to the sound of a blender. Jolting up he saw Dum-E in the mini kitchen. The green contents of the blender were still in the blender and not on the walls so at least he's remembered the lid. He took a long slow breath. His chest hurt. When he had last taken meds? "J how long was I out?"

"Four hours sir."

"Good enough." He stood and crossed the lab. 

"Dum-E?" The robot turned to him with a chirp. "Did you remember to put everything in this time?" Dum-E's claw spun then opened and closed before the robot let out another chirp.

"Okay, I'm trusting you." He said, warily pouring the contents into a glass. Thankfully it tasted right. "Good job." He said moving over to the bench as Dum-E let out a string of sound at the praise.

He dropped back to the bench and checked over the design. He mentally jotted down a few more notes to increase the output. "Alright J time to work on some new security features." He said dropping down to his desk. 

"Very good sir. Do not forget your medicine." He swallowed the handful of required pills without argument. 

"Scan. Show any new breaches before I start."

"Nothing of note sir." Jarvis said, a wireframe of the house appearing on the monitor. He nodded and set to work. 

Jarvis' medicine reminders became a rudimentary way of telling how much time was passed as the code spread across the screen. He stifled a yawn as the fifth reminder came. His eyes tracked over the code when the clink of ceramic on his desk made him jump. Looking over he watched as U recalculated and set a cup of espresso on his desk. "When did you learn how to make espresso?" He asked before tossing back the bitter liquid. U pressed into his space, bumping him with his claw. He patted the robot absently. "Pepper taught you didn't she?" It wasn't really a question but U chirped all the same. He closed his eyes and tried to stop the wave of sadness from washing over him. "Thanks U." 

He carefully held the cup for the robot to take. Even through the sadness it made him smile as he watched the robot 'think'. He could see the camera scanning the cup, his hand, the surrounding area. Then the logic board and artificial intelligence calculated movements that would guide the claw safely to the cup without hitting him or the surrounding area. A soft whir of servos and U lifted the cup easily from his hand and began weaving through the lab to get to the sink. 

It felt like a lifetime ago when he had first created the two at MIT. Everyone including Howard, no especially Howard, had called him crazy to funnel his work into robotics. Howard had in fact destroyed Dum-E's circuit panel when he'd first come to see them at MIT. Then U had won the first robotics award and all eyes had been on those two bots.

He had avoided coming home at all costs during his brief stay at MIT. Any home visits were punctuated by Howard expressing just how disappointed he was that Tony wasn't following in the family business. The older he'd gotten the more fists were involved in that particular discussion. Then he'd started shacking up with Trey and everything had gone to hell. Pushing the old memories from his mind he stood stretching more carefully this time. Even being cautious his chest throbbed at the movements.

"J? You up?"

"Always for you sir."

"Scan that coding then implement."

"Implementation will require a 1 minute shut down. Shall I begin now?"

"Not yet. Do we have the parts needed to make the new reactor here on site."

"Yes sir."

"What about the bogus one?" He gestured to the table.

"No."

"Perfect. Order all the required materials for that reactor. Make Obie bring it."

"Of course." He sat at the table pulling more paper towards him. "Starting another version?"

"No. If anyone checks to see if I actually used the materials you ordered it needs to look like I did but I need a schematic to use the actual materials too."

"This seems like an awfully complicated ruse sir."

"Go ahead with implantation."

No reply followed, Jarvis was following the command. In spite of the fact that nothing had really changed the house felt strangely hollow knowing Jarvis was offline. He found his eyes drawn to the clock, watching the seconds tick by.

And then, 'Update completed sir."

"Good. Walk me through the modifications." He turned his attention to the new project.

"In the event you are not home, the lab will be placed on lockdown. If the lab is breached during lockdown immediately set...Sir while I am highly capable I am unable to spontaneously set fire to the lab." Jarvis finished exasperated.

"You will be able to soon."

There was a long pause. "In the event the lab is breached during lockdown immediately  _ ignite fire _ . Delay fire suppression tactics until all paper in lab has burned. If mainframe is breached wipe mainframe. Sir is this really necessary?"

"If I go, my ideas go with me. If Howard's company was made to last it will survive just fine without me. I'm not letting any more of my ideas leak into the wrong hands."

"Mr. Stane is in route with your requested supplies." Jarvis said. 

"Thanks J." He turned his full focus to the false design. He carefully insured that every piece he needed for the reactor was built into this new design that way if anyone saw the parts he had cut out it would make sense.

Obie didn't knock before entering his code this time. "Tony my boy! Ready for construction already? I'm impressed!" Obie clapped his right shoulder. The jolt still caused a stab of pain over his shoulder but he smiled through it. "What you working on there." He leaned over to pick up the new design. Obie's brows knit together as he looked. "Bees?"

"Yeah. It's a design for commercial bee farmers to be able to safely harvest more honey without impacting the bees."

"Huh. Well it will be good to bring something to the board. I think I about have them turned to our way of thinking. Between all the deaths surrounding your kidnapping plus that missile misfire that took out that soldier's arm negative press has been enough to help ease the change. I will keep you posted!"

"Thanks Obie." He said a feeling of relief soothing some of the anxiety he'd been feeling. At least with the board on his side he'd have a better chance.

"Of course. I left everything at the service entrance. Is that close enough?" 

"That will work."

"Let me know if you need anything else." And with another pat Obie was gone.

He moved over to the side door that would lead to fabrication but Jarvis spoke, "Sir you need to rest before beginning fabrication."

"I'm fine J." He said reaching out to grab the handle only to find it locked. "J I'm serious let me in."

"You need to rest."

"I'm fine!"

"Master Stark I am not unlocking this door until you are well rested enough to safely operate heavy machinery!"

His heart tightened. Jarvis had always been programmed with Edwin in mind. Edwin had still been very much alive when he'd invented the first prototype of Jarvis. Jarvis had learned from the older man just as much as he'd learned from Tony at the early days of his creation. It wasn't until Edwin's death that Tony had even started calling him Jarvis. Rarely, when Jarvis deemed it truly needed, Jarvis would parrot back things he'd heard Jarvis say in those early days of computerized learning. Perhaps the infrequency of use helped but it was always effective. He let his hand fall from the door knob and walked towards the couch. "Sir, you should take another dose of pain medicine before you sleep. It appeared pain disrupted your sleep yesterday."

Yesterday? How long had he been coding? "Dum-E interrupted my sleep." He grumbled before grabbing the pill, swallowing it and dropping into his stomach on the couch. An explosion of pain ripped through his chest. His muscles jerked reflexively as he tried to escape the pain and he fell on his side into the floor. He couldn't breath. Weezing he struggled to pull in air around the fire of pain in his chest. Agonizingly slowly the pain subsided. "What… Was… That?" He finally managed to gasp out. 

"I believe laying on your stomach moved the reactor and may have torn the healing skin around it."

He reached up and touched his chest. No blood. That was good at least. Half standing half dragging himself he pulled himself back onto the couch, careful to lay on his back. Even with the still throbbing pain in his chest sleep caught him quickly and he drifted off.

He awoke feeling sluggish. His chest was throbbing. He pushed himself up, blinking away sleep. "J? What time is it?" 

"12:38 sir."

"A.M. or P.M.?" He rubbed at his eyes. It didn't really matter he guessed. 

"A.M. you slept for five hours and nine minutes sir."

He should get up, should work but everything felt so heavy. He was still so tired. He stood and crossed to the bathroom. His eyes were getting dark rings under them. He needed to sleep more. The persistent throb in his chest at least explained why he's woken up. Washing his hands in the sink he paused to meet his eyes in the mirror. Taking a slow deep breath he carefully maneuvered off his shirt. 

He forced himself to really look at the reactor. The skin around the metal ring had been forced out of the way though it appeared to be healing well enough. Carefully he reached up and removed the reactor. Carefully not dislodging the magnet at the end he moved it out of the way to look down the tube. His stomach rolled. He had enough time to slam the reactor back in and fall to his knees before he was throwing up bile. 

The pain as his abdominal muscles spasmed created a whole new wave of retching. By the time he was finally able to stop his hands trembled with the combination of pain and exhaustion. He half walked half stumbled across the lab for another pain pill then returned to the couch. He wasn't sure how long he lay there trying to ignore the bright stab of pain he felt with each beat of his heart. 

Finally the pain began to subside but he felt far to awake for sleep. "I need a double shot please." He waited, listening to the quiet until he heard one of the bots at the espresso machine. How could he have survived without her? He let his head fall back. He couldn't believe she was just gone. She'd had family, he was sure of that. Once he was allowed to be 'alive' again he'd go to them, make sure they had anything and everything they could need. 

The soft whir of gears grew louder as U approached. Sitting up he took the small mug from the robot's claw. U chirped softly. "I'm fine." He said, tossing back the liquid. It traced a line of heat down his throat and into his stomach. U's claw turned to the bathroom door then to him. U opened and closed his claw, beeping curiously. "I'm okay. Just threw up a little." The memory of the dark metal hole in his chest made his stomach clench.

Pushing the thought away he passed the mug back to U and stood. When he tested the shop door, the knob turned freely. He stepped inside and shut the door behind himself. U and Dum-E loved being in this section of his shop but both had been banned. After seeing him repairing a dent in one of the machines using a rubber mallet he had found them knocking holes in the machinery with hammers.

He crossed through the shop and opened the loading bay door. The supplies he requested waited on a pallet. It wasn't enough to really constitute a pallet but he appreciated the thought as he guided the pallet inside.

He loaded the sheets of metal into the CO 2 cutter. "Go ahead with production J."

"Shall I cut the real or the false reactor first sir?"

"False. It needs to look like our priority if we're being watched."

"Very good sir"

The familiar ozone smell began to fill the room and then, with a soft thud, the air purifiers kicked on. He turned his focus to recreating the palladium ring. "Music on."

"Sir you need to take a break to eat." Jarvis' voice made him lean back. The reactor was more than half done. He considered ignoring the request and finishing but the thought of the pizza still in the fridge upstairs pulled him from his stool. He climbed up the stairs, happy to feel some of the strength returning to his legs, and crossed to the fridge. He pulled the box out and tossed two massive slices into the microwave. 

He paused. Something under the coffee maker caught his attention. He carefully slid the scrap of paper out from under the machine. It was undeniably Pepper's handwriting though it was messy, as if written quickly.

_ Tony, _

_ I know what happened. I'll see you soon. _

_ Everything will be okay. _

He stared at the paper. When had she written this? It couldn't have been after he was taken. Or maybe it was. What could she have been referencing if it wasn't regarding his kidnapping? But if it was the kidnapping, she had been found in Afghanistan and the prevailing theory was that she was there to find him. If that was the case then why leave a note? If she'd been planning on finding him they would have returned home together, no note required. 

He slid the paper off the counter and into his pocket. Collecting the plate of food he returned downstairs, his mind still spinning. It didn't make sense. And why would she have been in Afghanistan? Pepper was always very proactive but she also had better self preservation than to just run off into the desert looking for him. 

"Jarvis, bring up everything you can on Pepper's death."

"Sir I'm not sure that's wise—"

"Do it, J!"

The screens filled with files. His eyes scanned the first document. It held more than a dozen news articles. He read over them as he ate, trying to ignore the pain in his chest that had nothing to do with the reactor. Pulling his eyes away he grabbed a bottle of beer before returning to study the screens. 

"Sir, you shouldn't be drinking with the medicine." 

"It's fine, J." He read through every article. Each one parroted the idea she was there to find him. It made no sense. 

"I have found the report and photos taken when she was found." Jarvis sounded nervous.

"Pull them up," he said, grabbing another few beers. On the walk back from the fridge he downed the second bottle in one go. It didn't make seeing Pepper on the screen any easier. Her eyes stared unfocused. She was partly buried in the ever blowing sand. Around her the sand was dark and red with blood. He swallowed a mouthful of beer around the lump in his throat. He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath before pulling up the report.

According to the report she was spotted by a military caravan. She was found alone. Cause of death was a single gunshot to the chest. He leaned back in his chair. Pepper Potts, one of the smartest, most logical people he'd known, had left behind her job to fly halfway across the world and search alone for him in the desert. 

"Autopsy?" He asked.

"No report of one since the cause of death was determined in the field."

"What were you doing out there Pep?" He tossed away the finished bottle. Standing, he retrieved a few more bottles. Sitting again he reread over the report . A convoy found her. Which meant she'd been by the road but no vehicle had been found. She'd just been walking by the road?

"How'd she get over there, J?"

"Stark plane 4."

"Who was the pilot?"

There was a pause before he spoke. "No pilot is listed on the manifest."

"What?"

"There is no pilot listed for her flight there, nor the return trip after she left."

"How long was this after I was taken?"

"Over three weeks." 

He leaned back closing his eyes. He was gone for weeks, then out of nowhere Pepper flies to Afghanistan alone, and then just walks along the road in an active war zone? He was missing something. He reached up to rub at his head. When had the headache started?

"Who found her? Did someone sign the report?" 

Whatever Jarvis' reply was he missed it as a wave of dizziness sent his head spinning. His hands shot out flailing wildly until he was able to grab the edge of the desk and hold on. He wasn't drunk, he knew what that felt like. He struggled to stand, his legs feeling out of sync with his mind. He managed to take a few steps towards the bathroom before he overbalanced and fell. With an explosion of pain across his forehead the world went dark.

A shrill beeping pulled his mind slowly forward. He felt like he was trying to think through molasses. A splitting pain throbbed from his forehead. He forced his eyes open. Dum-E and U hovered over him chirping at each other. He reached up and gingerly felt his forehead. His fingers came away sticky with half dried blood.

"Wha-" he tried but his throat felt like sandpaper.

"You lost balance and hit your head on the workbench. I have already contacted Mr. Stane, he will arrive shortly."

"No." He rasped. "Send him back. The reactor." 

"Sir, I believe you may have a concussion." Jarvis said.

"Send him back. You can test me."

There was a long pause before Jarvis asked, "What day is it?"

"Ask me something I might have a chance of actually  _ knowing _ Jarvis!" he snapped. His head was alternating between throbbing and spinning. He just wanted the guarantee Obie wasn't coming.

"Chemical elements listed by atomic number."

_ That _ he could answer. "Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium—"

"Good sir."

"Boron, Carbon."

"Very good sir!" He could hear the frustration in Jarvis' tone. "I have contacted Mr. Stane's phone to alert him of the false alarm."

Relief rolled over him. Cautiously he pulled himself up onto the bench. Dum-E beeped next to him. He rested a hand on the metal strut of Dum-E's arm and let himself be guided to the couch. U chirped as he passed over a damp cloth. Tony carefully wiped away the blood from the gash in his forehead.

"How are you feeling sir?"

"Dizzy, tired. But that started before the fall."

"I shall continue to monitor for symptoms," Jarvis said softly.

He laid down on the couch and fell asleep almost at once. 

A sharp jab in his ribs jolted him awake. "Continue listing the elements starting with Carbon." 

He blinked up at U who had poked him with his claw. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth. "Nitrogen, Oxygen, Fluorine, Neon."

"Thank you sir."

He lay blinking through the splitting pain between his head and his chest. "J?"

"Yes sir?"

"Thanks."

"Of course sir."

He wasn't sure how many times Jarvis woke him in the night but he was down to Tin before he gave up trying to sleep. 

Tony slowly hauled himself off the couch. His head was still pounding as he crossed the room and stepped into the bathroom. The gash on his forehead looked nasty but it was already starting to heal. At least it didn't need stitches.

"J, what happened last night?" he asked.

"I believe you suffered the side effects of mixing your current medicine with alcohol sir," Jarvis answered.

Reaching up he gingerly touched the cut. "At least I don't have to look pretty for the public," he said to no one in particular. 

He re-entered the shop. Jarvis had closed down his files on Pepper. After last night that made sense. He couldn't let himself think on it now. He had to get the reactor done, get the lab secure,  _ then _ he could focus on what happened.

The way into the production lab was blocked by Dum-E. As he approached the bot brandished an apple at him. It wasn't until he taken several large bites out of the fruit that Dum-E moved and allowed him past the door.

He settled at the workbench and resumed work on the reactor. It took less time than he'd worried it might. Carefully he wired it up, preparing to give it the jump start it would need to get going. "J prepare backup generators."

"Generators on standby sir." 

He took a slow breath then flipped the switch. The reactor popped softly and began to glow, first faintly then with increasing strength as the reaction began within. Around him the lights dimmed then with a soft hum turned off. From outside he heard the generators kick on and immediately the lights restored. He waited another few moments to be sure the reactor was stable before cutting the start up power. He lifted the reactor. He could feel the faintest tremor of power from the device. With the new reactor the separate magnet would no longer be required. 

He stepped back into the shop and dropped back into the medical table. Carefully he unlocked the current reactor but left it plugged in. He forced himself not to think too hard as he carefully slipped his hand past the current reactor and into the tube. The angle was difficult and his hand was too large to reach effectively. He closed his eyes for a moment to try to think of anyone who could help.

Opening his eyes he looked at Dum-E and U. The wonder twins could probably help but he would have to do some massive upgrades to their fine motor capabilities first and he didn't have that kind of time. "J? Can we get EMT on backup?"

"Certainly sir."

It would ruin Obie's plan but he wasn't keen on dying either so it would have to do. Firmly gripping the old reactor he tugged and with a sickening pop it came free. The magnet did not follow. "Fuck." He mumbled. Reaching in he felt for the wire that had disconnected from the reactor with his tug.

A jolt of pain exploded around his chest and he swore for a fraction of a second he felt his heart stop. His left hand dropped the reactor as it flew up to instinctively claw at his chest trying to remove whatever was causing the pain. Gasping he let his head fall back. "Sir? Shall I contact emergency services?"Jarvis sounded panicked.

"No." He rasped out. "What…..was that?"

"It appears the wire contacted the wall of the reactor causing the wall to become electrified momentarily." 

"U. Come here." He said. "I need light and camera into my chest please. J get the feed."

A moment later one of the monitors next to him opened a video showing him getting closer as U trundled over from where he'd been watching several feet away. The gears whirred softly as U moved his claw to be above his chest pointing down. The light clicked on and he was able to see clearly down into the tube. Somehow that was better than it being black. There was the wire J mentioned. 

Carefully he slipped his hand back inside. "Bit to the left. Good." He wrapped the wire carefully around his finger. "Okay J. Be ready." And with a quick tug the magnet pulled loose. He hadn't been prepared for the pain. His heart was hammering but his limbs felt weak. Cardiac arrest. He realized too late the reactor still sat on the floor. Leaning over the edge of the table he could not see the reactor where he thought it had landed. He needed to get up. Needed to find it. He didn't have the tools to reset the magnet the new reactor was his only—. Dum-E chirped next to him. Turning he saw the bot was lifting the new reactor off the floor. He took it quickly from Dum-E's claw and with trembling hands began to blindly guide the connector towards the back of the tube. He was feeling light headed. If he didn't get it plugged in before he lost consciousness he was fucked. Assuming emergency services even arrived on time none of them would know to connect the reactor. He could feel the connection point but couldn't get the wire turned right to make the connection. He needed to hurry. His vision was getting foggy. He was going to black out. 

A sharp pop from his chest and the pain began to ebb. His heart was returning to its normal beat. He pulled in lungfuls of air and let himself fall back against the table. Dum-E and U both crowded over him anxiously spinning their claws and making very soft sounds. "I'm okay." He reached weakly up to pat their arms. "Gonna rest." He mumbled and darkness fell over him.

He woke slowly, the throbbing pain in his chest pulling him out of his dreamless sleep. Dum-E and U stood sentry on either side of the table. He couldn't help but smile at the behavior. Reaching up he patted both bots. They happily chirped both turning to look down at him. 

Carefully he sat up. "J? Am I good for around round of painkillers?"

"Yes sir. I really must insist you try to get more rest. Your heart experienced a highly stressful situation today and as such may be fragile."

"Can't sleep J. Gotta get you set up to protect the lab." 

He heard a very final sounding click as Jarvis locked the door to the production floor. "Good try J but I don't need in there for this."

While the AI didn't reply he could feel the frustration as he grabbed the supplies he needed as set to work. If the pill reminders were any indication it took less than 24 hours for him to get a very beta version of the set up complete. It wasn't even remotely pretty but it was functional. He could get the long term version set when the reactor finished healing and he could break into the concrete of the ceiling.

"Dum-E, U. Come with me." He told the two bots before moving to the production floor door. He stood and waited a moment before the lock clicked again. He opened the door. "This way." Both bots tried to press through the door at the same time. Turning to look at each other they chirped loudly. Tony waited. It had been a long time since he'd seen them handle a disagreement themselves. 

At several minutes of clicking claws and chirping, U backed off letting Dum-E through first. Dum-E's claw spun as the bot took in the production floor. Not much had changed since they had last been in but that didn't stop Dum-E from slowly opening and closing his claw with interest as he looked around. 

U chipped loudly and poked Dum-E. Dum-E moved forward letting U past and into the large room. "This way." He said and both bots turned to follow him. 

He opened the loading bay door. "Both of you grab a fire extinguisher. Time to learn some safety." Both bots collected an extinguisher then followed him into the loading bay. "Set them down and watch me."

A little ripple of nostalgia bubbled in his chest at the phrase. 'Watch me.' had been the first thing he'd taught the two bots. He remembered his freshman year at MIT. Only fourteen, everyone had laughed when the son of legendary Howard Stark had wanted to build robots, not missiles. The idea that machines could learn without miles and miles of coding had been dismissed outright. It was after hearing that Tony was trying to prove artificial learning the Howard had flown out and destroyed Dum-E's circuit board. Dum-E had never been 100% right after that. 

He remembered showing his professor U learning. The man had been in such disbelief he'd demanded a trial immediately and even threatened expulsion if Tony's claims were a hoax. His professor had brought in a machine of his own making, one U could never have interacted with before. Tony had told U to watch then complete the first few steps the professor had given to using the machine. And U, in front of his professor and MIT's board of directors, had flawless completed every task Tony showed him. After that he was left mostly alone. 

Some of the other robotics students had tried repeatedly to sabotage the two, especially after they won any contest he entered. He spent a lot of nights sleeping in the lab until he taught U and Dum-E how to use spray paint as weapons. Several students were taken to the hospital with spray paint in their eyes and after that no one messed with them.

"So you both know I've given Jarvis the ability to light up the lab if someone comes in?"

Both bots chirped and nodded their claws. 

"Good. If it looks like someone might break in you both need to immediately move to your charging stations. That should keep you clear of the flames. Okay so far?" Both bots agreed. "If something goes wrong, and the fire spreads, or if someone who isn't me comes through the flames I expect you to use these extinguishers for protection. First let's work on fire." Tony knelt and turned the extinguisher. "If either if you are on fire, or the fire is closer than three feet, pull the pin." Tony demonstrated. "Aim the extinguisher and squeeze." With difficulty he picked it up and squeezed. "Slow motions back and forth over the fire. Good? U, let's see you do it."

Dum-E chirped loudly and clicked his claw.

"You got through the door first you can wait." With a dejected whine Dum-E turned to look at U. 

U carefully followed the steps but it was clear using the claw was difficult. "I will have to modify the lever some. If I weld a piece—"

"Sir, Mr. Stane is looking for you."

"Coming J. No extinguisher until I get back." He said firmly before moving through the lab, catching Obie on the stairs.

"Hey, Tony. Good news! I have the board starting to move to our way of thinking. Is that a new reactor?" Obie pointed at his shirt. 

"Yeah. I made it this morning." He lifted his shirt. Obie leaned in to look. 

"Very nice, my boy. Very nice. I'll see you in a few days then for a board meeting."

"Sounds good Obie. Thanks." 

He felt relieved as he moved back down the stairs. Things may finally be going right. He opened the production floor and heard the whoosh of the fire extinguisher. With a groan he moved quickly across the production floor. It looked like it had snowed in the loading dock. Everything was covered in a thin mist of dry powder. Dum-E was in the middle spinning happily, the extinguisher clutched in his claw raining out the last mist as the canister emptied. U was sitting dejected a few feet away covered in powder. 

It took more than two hours to fully clean down both bots and the loading area. By the time everything was back to normal he only had enough energy to take a quick shower before collapsing onto the couch and falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky finally arrives!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

"Sir?"

He blinked awake at the sound of Jarvis' voice.

"Yeah. S'it?" He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

"Sorry to wake you sir. Mr. Stane is here and on his way downstairs." 

He sat up, forcing his eyes to open and pushing a hand through his hair as Obie opened the shop door.

"Tony! Did I wake you? Come on we need to head out."

"Out?" His brain still felt foggy.

"The board meeting? Come on we need to leave."

"Board… Now?" A wave of panic seemed to jolt his brain awake. "I'll…. I'll change and—"

"No need. None of your suits would fit yet anyway. I have one waiting for your at the conference building."

Tony looked down at himself, for the first time since his return ignoring the reactor and focusing on his actual body. He was thin, way thinner than normal. Obie was right, nothing he owned would look right. He nodded, letting the other man pull him to his feet. "Does the board know I'm coming?" He asked, following Obie up the stairs.

"No. You need to stay hidden again." He nodded. "I have some figures and a presentation I need you to memorize on the way. I know it's short notice. Think you're up for it?"

"Yeah. Should be fine." He said as he climbed into the back seat of the car and stretched out. Based on the pages he guessed it would be about a 45 minute presentation. He firmly bullied his tired brain into memorization mode as the car pulled away from the house. He had to give Obie credit. It was a really good presentation. It detailed his own findings while in Afghanistan, as well as details of how the changes would affect stocks, how the change in the company would alter the division of power, and even included references to reactor tech and a brief summary of the bee creation he'd half thought up to hide the reactors needed materials. 

When the car stopped he let Obie block his entrance into the building. Once inside, Obie's hand wrapped easily around his forearm guiding him through the maze of halls. He focused on repeating the numbers in his mind then checking them against his paper copy. Almost. If he had even 5 minutes before the presentation he'd be perfect. 

Obie's hand dropped away and a different, much colder, hand replaced it. He looked up in time to see a large white room filled with a variety of paintings, boxes, and statues before a bag was yanked over his head and his vision was cut. 

"Obie!" he shouted. The other man couldn't be far. He'd only just let go. "Obie!" he called again. 

"Gag him." An unknown man's voice filtered through the bag. He struggled against unseen hands, managing one more shout for Obie before a cloth gag was forced into his mouth. 

He continued to fight, hands swinging wildly against unseen foes. He connected at least a few times if the grunts of his attackers was any indication. Then a punch hit him in the side of the head. Pain exploded through his skull and his ears rang. He stumbled. A kick took him to the ground with a grunt. He curled in on himself trying to guard the reactor. Kicks came randomly. His back, his leg, his shoulder. He struggled against the urge to try to brace for the next blow 

Someone was wrenching his hands behind his back. The movement pulled at the skin around the reactor and he shouted in pain around the gag. A kick collided with the edge of the reactor and his vision went white. Sheer will and a healthy dose of stubbornness was the only thing that kept him conscious.

"Easy," a calm voice made him twist his head. Obie? "We need him alive."

"I think he broke my nose!" An angry voice behind him said. 

"You'll heal." It was definitely Obadiah. The click of handcuffs reminded him that he was supposed to be fighting. He struggled a bit but the cuffs were already in place. Someone pulled his arm until he was sitting up. He turned his head wildly, searching for Obie's voice. "Tony, it's nothing personal." Obie's voice came directly in front of him. "This new direction, it's a danger to the company. I didn't spend decades driving your father forward to make newer and better weapons only to have you come behind him and ruin everything! When I ordered the hit on you, I never expected you to survive but I sure am glad you did. I will be sure the reactor technology is put to use building the next generation of Stark weapons. The final legacy of the great Tony Stark!"

And then he heard the sound of Obie's shoes walking away. Hands grabbed his arms and pulled him to a wall. He had half a second to register the pain that bloomed from the reactor before his head swam and he passed out.

Bucky

His eyes watched the blur of color on the screen, not really processing the game. He remembered a time when he'd loved to watch sports. It felt so long ago. A cheer erupted around him as one of the teams scored. He turned, pulling a long slow drink from the beer bottle in front of him.

"Still with me?" A voice asked.

Turning his attention back to the bartender, Carlos he blinked quickly, pulling back the last few things Carlos had said as he aimlessly stared at the TV. "Sorry." He said. "When did you say Megan's recital is?" 

"It's good man. Three weeks. She might kill you if you miss again."

He snorted. "She's fucking terrifying when she's mad." Megan, who had just recently turned seven, was Carlos' spit fire of a daughter. 

"She gets that from Maria, man. The other day I forgot to get milk on the way home and I thought they were going to pull me apart."

He laughed. Carlos lifted another bottle and raised his eyebrow. He nodded and took the bottle from the man. He spent most of his days now at Carlos' little hole in the wall bar. Not like he had any real reason to be home. It just felt so empty now. He pushed that thought away, finishing his current bottle and taking a long swallow of the new one. 

"... doing amazing though." He realized Carlos was back to talking. He forced himself to focus. "She's started learning spring points or something like that."

"Yeah. I'll try to be there." He promised. "Don't tell her I will be though, I survived a missile but I'm pretty sure she could take me out and not even get her dress dirty."

"Yeah I—." His phone lit up on the bar and Carlos paused. A text from an anonymous number was visible through the spiderweb cracks on the front display. "Jesus man, another job? Didn't you just get back?" Carlos hissed under his breath.

"Yeah, it's almost like I have to keep working to pay my bills. Crazy right?" He tried to push away the irritation. He knew Carlos didn't like his work. Hell, he didn't like his work, but it was what he could get. No one was hiring veterans.  _ Especially _ not one armed veterans. He'd been transporting what he was fairly confident was stolen art for an auction house in Malibu for more than a year now. Everything was done discreetly enough that if he was ever arrested he could probably plead ignorance. At least that's what he told himself. He slid the phone over and opened it.

>I still have that chest if you're interested.

Definitely a job. He tapped back a reply.

>>Yeah. When are you available and how much were you asking again?

The reply was quick.

>Saturday. $10

He felt his heart skip a beat. The price they gave was always per mile. Normally it was between $3-$5. "You okay?" Carlos must have seen how expression change. 

"Yeah. They are paying double what they normally do." He said typing out a reply.

>>Sounds good. 

"Why are they giving you more than normal?" Carlos asked, eyes warily on the cell phone in his hand. He shrugged. 

"It's a trunk this time instead of art maybe that's why."

"It seems sketchier than normal. If you are hurting man I can loan you—."

"No." He said a little firmer than he'd meant. "I don't need charity. Besides, what if Maria did end up needing that surgery? I'm good. Really. I gotta go pack though. It's a 15 hour drive without traffic and you know how bad they have I-5 torn up."

"Be safe man. Call me if you hit trouble."

"Yeah yeah." He waved Carlos' worry off as he exited the bar. A loud pop was the only warning he got before a sharp pain flared up his shoulder. He glared over at the ugly metal arm and tried not to think about getting it. Once the pain faded he cautiously flexed the arm and climbed into his car. 

It was a twenty minute drive back to his house. Then again everything was at least a twenty minute drive. He wound up the curving gravel drive. It was a nice house, if not a bit on the small side. It had been willed to him by a family friend and that was the only reason he had a roof over his head. 

Unlocking the front door he moved quickly to the bedroom, refusing to look at any of the pictures on the wall, any reminders that she was gone. Grabbing the still half filled suitcase off the bedroom floor he tossed a few days clothes into his suitcase. He tossed the suitcase into the passenger seat he turned and began the drive to Malibu.

Tony

He wasn't sure how long he sat on the floor. The bag cut out enough light to effectively destroy his circadian rhythm. He wasn't sure if hours or days had gone by. He slept when he could but the reactor was throbbing with every beat of his heart which both drained him of all energy and also kept him awake.

He could hear his ever present guards occasionally change out but he had no frame of reference for how long each shift was so that did nothing to help. He tried talking, appealing to them but any words he forced around the gag were met with a silent kick to his chest which inevitably resulted in unconsciousness. 

They had allowed him to lay down, as long as he stayed pressed against the wall but with his arms behind his back there was no way to be comfortable. He was parched and hungry but that didn't seem to matter either. He'd tried to request water but that too had earned him a kick. He could only hope now they might slip up and give him an escape option.

This time when he woke things seemed different. He could hear distant sounds. Voices, he thought, punctuated occasionally by a bang bang sound. He counted but the time between bangs was different. It felt familiar somehow but he couldn't quite place it.

The door to his room opened and he heard "Sold!" Followed by the bangs. Auction house. He was in an auction house.

Hands roughly yanked him to his feet. His captors frogmarched him forward. He could hear the voices growing louder. Then a door opened and he was hit with a wall of sound followed by a sudden hush. He was forced into a chair. "Our main attraction this evening, the exclusive rights to the creative mind of Tony Stark." 

The bag was yanked off his head. Bright lights burned his eyes after the extended darkness of the bag. His eyes tried to search the audience. Maybe someone there could help him. "A contact will be signed agreeing that anything made previously by Mr. Stark is property of Stark industries and cannot be created again. He—" 

There was a shrill squeak as the microphone was taken from the auctioneer. "I will explain the contract more in depth with the buyer." He tried to turn to look at the sound of Obie's voice. "He can be stubborn to work with but water torture seems to work well. This," Obie tapped on the reactor. He tried to jerk back from the touch. "Is still property of Stark Industry and will need to be returned when he passes away. Thank you." And then Obie was gone. He was alone.

He spun back to face the crowd only half aware of the bidding going on. Desperately his eyes scanned the crowd but if he knew anyone there they were too far behind the lights for him to see. "Sold!" 

At once the bag was back and he was being pulled back to his feet. He stumbled, the sudden change in height made his head spin. He couldn't breathe. As the doors closed again he was aware of a shrill wheezing as his lungs struggled to pull in air. He stumbled forward but both hands on his arm just half lifted half dragged him back into the room. They let him fall forward. The reactor smacked the floor and once again blackness swallowed him. 

When he woke the bag was gone. His hands were cuffed in front of him. The throb in his shoulder pointed to a less than gentle change in the cuff’s position. His eyes searched the room. Three visible guards. Art. Statues, could work as bludgeoning weapons. The door opened and two more guards entered. One knelt and pulled the gag off his mouth. It hurt where the cloth had cut into his cheeks. Before he could say anything a ball of cloth was shoved into his mouth then held in place as the gag was knotted back behind his head. A thin strip of cloth was tied over his eyes. 

A bloom of pain from his shoulder spread as he was lifted and carried across the room before being set inside something? Whatever it was smelled old. He scooted back until his back was pressed against the wall. His knees were tucked uncomfortably. He heard a soft creak and darkness settled around him. Cautiously he tried to reach up and remove the blind. The pain in his shoulder spread across his back and chest. Giving up he turned his face to the bottom of the chest and, with slow careful movements, scraped the blindfold up until he could see.

Light filtered in through several one inch holes around the inside of the box he found himself in. Wire mesh covered the holes, preventing him from sliding a finger out of the air holes. He shifted, rolling into his back. The pressure on his arm and chest lessened but the walls still felt like they were closing in around him. He closed his eyes and focused. He had to find a way out. Had to think. His tiny box shifted suddenly. It was being carried. He rocked back as it was lifted unevenly then with a heavy thump it was set down. Another squeak and the light outside the holes went out, casting him into darkness.

Bucky

The drive to the auction house always felt longer than the drive home. He listened to music and watched the familiar roads pass him by. Carlos' anxiety seemed to be creeping into him as he drove. Still he needed the extra money. It would be worth it. He pulled up 20 minutes early, backing his car into the auction house loading area. Brent crossed the bay to meet him.

Brent was a massive man, both tall and exceptionally large. His black hair was plastered to his greasy head. "The chest is on the way." He said. Brent passed him a map. On it was marked two hotels he was already booked at as well as the expected route he was to travel. The buyer was less than an hour from his home in Newport. Not that Brent knew that. When he'd applied he had told them he lived in California. They didn't have his real name either. He wasn't stupid.

It also meant the drive was over 900 miles. His heart pounded. With that kind of payment he could actually afford to skip a few jobs. "For a job this large, the house is only paying half up front. The rest will be when you arrive." He nodded. Two men arrived carrying the chest. He moved to help load it but Brent's hand stopped him. "You may not open the chest at any time or for any reason during travel. Do you understand?"

He frowned but he'd never opened anything before. He had no reason to start. "Yeah. No problem."

"The chest must also remain in the car at all times. You may not remove it for any reason during transit. If that clear?" He watched the two men heft the chest into his trunk and shut it. The nagging feeling of uncertainty was spreading.

"Yeah. Got it."

Brent pressed a stack of hundreds into his chest. "Then you best be off." Brent passed him the key to give the buyer.

"I…yeah. Okay." He crossed back to his car and started the engine. Tucking the money in his bag he checked the route and groaned. They had him avoiding I-5 altogether which meant weaving up a mess if lesser known highways. Less cops maybe?

He took off. Getting out of town was no worse than normal. Still something was nagging at his mind. Maybe Carlos was right. The chest had appeared far too heavy. And something about it had seemed off, though he couldn't place it, having seen from such a distance. Making up his mind he pulled over for a moment and popped the trunk. He wasn't going to open it. He just wanted a better look.

The trunk looked antique and sturdy. His eyes followed the design when a glint in the sun caught his attention. Evenly spaces and carefully integrated into the design were small holes, covered with mesh. He snapped the trunk closed. He didn't want to know. He needed this job. Whatever it was in there was none of his business. 

He climbed back into the car and turned up the music to try to chase away his doubts.

The music did nothing to help. He'd signed up to carry  _ art _ for this place. Nothing in his job description should include something that required air holes.  _ What are you doing to do? Go to the police? _ He snorted. Maybe it was just some kind of animal. People transported animals all the time. No big deal. But if it was an animal, why wasn't it in a cage? Why a trunk?

As he drove out of the city the massive building gave way into suburbs. He needed to open it. He needed to know. If it was just an animal fine. If it was a person… What was he going to do if it was a person? Fuck! Still he had to know. As if by fate his fucking gas light clicked on. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he steeled himself and pulled into a small gas station. The station wasn't a chain and therefore was almost completely dead. He paid on cash then filled up before pulling off to the side of the building. 

He fished the key out of the bag and crossed back to the trunk. Opening it he stared at the chest. He couldn't hear any sounds or movement from inside. This was stupid. He needed this money. He should just close the trunk, get back in the car, and drive. He wasn't sure how long he stood there looking at the trunk before a sharp pop from his arm and the accompanying stab of pain it brought pulled him back to himself. Just a quick check. Then he could stop stressing and get back on the road. 

He fitted the key into the ornate lock on the chest and cracked the lid cautiously, in case whatever was in there was ready to attack. When he still heard no movement he swung the lid up. It was definitely a person but it wasn't just any person. Tony fucking Stark was bound and gagged in the small chest. 

The man blinked against the sun, unfocused brown eyes catching his. Then Tony's eyes moved to look over his shoulder and pulling in a gulp of air Tony let out a shout around the gag. 

Reaching out he slammed the lid of the chest, locked it and slammed the trunk before looking around. No one was close enough to have noticed anything. Pocketing the key he darted back to the drivers seat, climbed into the car and peeled out and into the road. He watched out his rear view for almost an hour but he wasn't being followed. He forced himself to breath. He needed to think.

He couldn't go to the authorities. He ruled that out immediately. It would mean admitting to his involvement not only in this but any other run he'd done. Maybe he could trade the buyers names for a plea? He grabbed the paper with the buyers info. Keeping one eye on the road he searched the address. A picture of an abandoned looking warehouse pulled up. Shit! So that ruled out authorities completely.

His arm emitted a stream of whirring pops. Tony was a douchebag. It was Tony's fault he even had this job. If the Stark missile hadn't misfired and taken out his squad and half his chest he wouldn't be in this fucking car running fucking stolen art for money. Then after the explosion, when he'd been on the hospital delirious with pain and pain meds Tony had shown up with the damn media to  _ present _ him with the piece of shit prosthetic. He remembered fading in and out of consciousness as Stark whined to his assistant about how long it was taking. He was laying on the edge of dying after Stark fucked up and the man had been complaining about boredom. He turned his eyes to the road. Stark deserved whatever he got. The universe was finally giving him chance to deliver poetic justice.

He made it out of the city and onto the back highways where he'd spend the next two days. He kept his music down in case he heard his captive? No that made his stomach churn a bit. In case he heard  _ Stark _ managing to escape the chest. But all was quiet. 

What kind of person actually bought another person? It was clear from the brief glimpse he'd had earlier Stark wasn't a willing participate in his transfer. What fate would await him? Death, probably. Someone with a grudge. 

Would he have paid to kill the man? Maybe. Stark was a murderer plain and simple. His weapons may help fight wars but they killed Americans too. His squad, his friends, gone in an instant because Stark cut corners. Still, to  _ pay _ to kidnap and kill him? He wouldn't go that far he decided. Stark deserved whatever he got but he definitely wouldn't have forked out the money, even if he had the money to pay.

His phone chirped, bringing him out of his thoughts. Glancing up at the road it was nothing but straight, flat, and empty as he far down as he could see. Picking up his phone he glanced at it. A text from Carlos. 

>Did you see the news?

A link followed with a second chirp. He tapped it. A large picture of Tony Stark under the heading  Tony Stark confirmed dead at 39. He frowned and glanced back up at the road before glancing over there article. 

The son of legendary weapons designer and manufacturer Howard Stark was confirmed dead today by US military police in Afghanistan. Tony Stark disappeared in Afghanistan four months ago while providing a weapon demonstration for the U.S. army.

He skimmed the rest before setting his phone back in the cup holder and turning his attention back to the road. Why would they have just now confirmed him dead? And obviously he wasn’t dead, at least not yet. But then no one knew that but him and whoever was buying Stark. Still the way the article was written. He needed answers. Before he could think too hard he pulled off the highway and into a side road that lead into a lightly forested area. Once he was certain no one from the highway could see him, he cut the engine.

Tony

Tony blinked as the darkness of the chest swallowed him up once more. He'd tried to yell when he'd seen the blue sky past his captors shoulder. Still the sound of a car door slamming followed by the squeal of tires told him no help was coming.

He'd at least gotten a cursory glance at his purchaser. He was surprised he didn't recognize the man. He had been certain it would be someone he knew. Someone wanting to use him to bring their own company success. 

His captor was younger than him by enough years it showed in his face. Brown hair had hung just above shoulder length and his eyes had been almost ice blue. The man was quite attractive which would maybe help this be slightly less miserable.  _ Assuming you live long enough for it to matter. _ He shoved that thought away before it could take root. The man had a strange look on his face as well. It had looked like shock but that made no sense. 

He needed to plan to be able to survive the next few encounters with the man. He shifted, trying to find some way to feel comfortable. His chest was throbbing painfully with each beat of his heart and his injured shoulder sent sharp shooting pains with each bump in the road. 

It had been days before his fifth birthday the first time he'd been kidnapped. It was the only time, to his knowledge, that Howard had paid for his return. Once he was safely back Howard had very publicly announced he would pay no further ransom during any subsequent kidnappings. It had done nothing to stop him from getting taken six more times before his tenth birthday. 

After the first kidnapping, once Howard had yelled at him for wandering off which allowed his capture in the first place, he'd gone to see Edwin and Ana. He'd sat on Ana's lap, fighting down the tears because 'Stark men don't cry,' listening to Edwin's gentle voice. 

"If something like this happens again Master Stark, I've compiled some information from the police that should aid in your safe return. First if someone tries to take you, fight with all your strength. Aim for sensitive areas, try to escape. If this doesn't work and you are captured your strategy must change. The first thing you should do, as soon as you're able, is make it clear that until you are returned you have no access to any finances. Make it clear your father will not provide any money." He'd nodded. "After that do not insult, disagree for the sake of disagreement, or otherwise be a nuisance. Try to become friends with your captures. Ask small favors like a glass of water, a snack, to use the restroom. All these things make you more human to your captures which makes it harder to want to cause you harm. And as always, Master Stark, use that mind of yours. You are so smart, use that to your advantage. Look for easy ways to escape. Humans by nature are flawed and they will always eventually make a mistake. When you do get away, call me. I will come retrieve you. Do you understand?"

He had nodded. "Fight until you're taken, tell them about the ransom, try to make friends, escape, then call you."

"Very good." Ana had said into his ear. Her fingers had moved to gently brush through his hair.

He tensed, the rumble of the engine was gone. We're they at his captors house? He forced his breathing to even, trying mentally to prepare for whatever came next. There was a click as the trunk opened then after another moment a much closer click as the lock on the chest opened. He had only a moment to see his not unattractive captor before he was bodily lifted by his shirt and dropped into the ground. 

He landed hard on his injured arm and only the gag prevented him crying out. His eyes searched the surroundings. They were on a dirt path, trees and underbrush closed in on either side. Icy panic spread through his chest. People weren't brought out into the woods to live. Adrenaline poured into him as he began to half drag, half crawl his way away from his captor. Escape was his only option. He hadn't lived through Afghanistan only to die on American soil before he could fix everything. Yinsen couldn't have died in vain. A hand closed around the collar of his shirt. He continued to weakly scrabble at the dirt. He had to get away.

Bucky

Fishing the key back out of his bag he stood and crossed behind the car. Taking a deep breath he opened the trunk then the chest. Using his left arm he pulled Stark out by his shirt and let him drop to the ground. He tried not to think too hard about how much the other man had flinched as he had reached for him. Stark let out a muffled shout of pain as he hit the ground. He could see the man's eyes take in their surroundings and then Stark began to drag himself away across the path. 

He watched Stark's laborious process down the road. He couldn't ignore the fact the other man looked terrible. As much as he tried to avoid ever seeing Stark's smug face the man was often plastered all over the news. The man now struggling to crawling away seemed a shell of the person he'd seen on TV. His arms were almost skeletally thin, his clothes hung off him. He wore only a black tank top and sweatpants. His feet were bare. Stark was really only using his right arm to crawl. His left remained tucked tightly into his chest. He could see the shadows of bruising on the man's right arm and the back of his neck.

It took only three steps to catch up with Stark's progress. Reaching out he captured the man's collar, lifting him. Stark's hands stretched forward, desperately clawing at the dirt. He pulled the man around. Stark's left hand tucked back up against his chest as though it was held by an invisible sling. This forced his cuffed right hand up as well.

Stark's expression changed. The panic ebbed away leaving a cool calm that didn't quite reach his eyes. His face was a display of bruises in various stages of healing. The cloth had cut deep purple lines into his cheeks. How long had he been gagged? He reached behind the man's head and unbound the cloth around his head. Stark spat out the wad of cloth in his mouth. "Talk." He said.

Stark coughed a few times before speaking in a voice that was tight and raspy. "My name is Tony Stark. My father is Howard Stark. I am willing to collaborate with you or work for you on any projects you specify, though from what I briefly heard about my contact I am unable to make anything I've made for Stark industries. I am unable to provide any money to pay ransom or access any of Stark Industry's finances which are locked the moment I am taken. That access will continue to remain locked until I personally enter an unlock code on a specific terminal within Stark HQ. At that—"

"I don't want your fucking collaboration and I sure as hell don't want any of your fucking money." He spat, jamming the wad of cloth back into Stark's mouth. The other man stilled, brown eyes holding his. If possible they seemed even more round with fright than before he'd started talking. He tied the gag back in place before reaching for his pocket. Stark's hands flew up and he shouted something against the gag.

A flash of light caught his eyes and he stopped halfway through pulling out his phone. Reaching for the edge of the now ripped tank top he pulled it up. The skin in the middle of Stark's chest had been torn open. In is place was a glowing blue something? He reached up and touched it. Glass maybe? He tapped at it with his blunted fingernail. With a metal casing. Was it some kind of bomb? Cautiously he wrapped his fingers around it and tried to turn it.

Stark let out a shout followed by what was unmistakably a sob. He pulled his eyes away from the glowing device. Stark was visibly shaking, his head thrashing back and forth as his mouth worked wordlessly around the gags. His cuffed hands, which were trapped in his shirt struggled weakly to push his hands away. What the fuck was this thing? 

He reached up and pulled the knot loose. "What is this?" He demanded. Stark pulled in several shuddering breaths but didn't answer. "What the fuck is this? Is it a fucking bomb?"

"N.nn..." Stark managed, his head shaking back and forth. "Keepi...alive...please.. don't." Every word was punctuated by wheezing gasp as the man struggled to breath. He opened his mouth to speak when his phone went off.

Pulling it out he checked. The number was unlisted. Fuck. "Move and I'm ripping that thing out." He snapped before moving to the front of his car. He could clearly still see the other man but it was far enough away the wheezing breaths wouldn't come through the phone.

"Hello?"

"You're off course. What's going on?" Brent demanded.

"Sorry, yeah little car trouble. Just replacing the tire and I'll be back in the road." He turned to look at Stark. The man was still visibly shaking, his left hand covered part of the glow casting strange shadows on the dirt path.

"Did you move the chest?!" Brent snapped. 

"No! No. I had a spare in my back seat. I haven't touched the chest just like you asked. Tell the buyer I'll make up the time tonight."

"If you don't get moving soon I'm sending something else!" Brent snapped and then the line went dead.

"You. You're not the one buying me." Stark mumbled feebly as he approached. "Just taking me there..."

"Shut up." He snapped. "What is that in your chest?" 

"It's an arc reactor. I need it. It's keeping me alive." The man was breathing normally now but his hands still shook. Each word seemed to require an exceptional amount of effort to form.

"How?"

"Think of it like a high tech pacemaker."

He pulled out his phone again and showed him the headline. "Why does the media think you're dead?"

Stark eyes scanned the article. "My business partner," Stark shifted and grimaced, "Obadiah Stane, he arranged to have him killed in Afghanistan. It didn't work. I made it home. I told him I wanted to shut down the weapons manufacturing at SI. So he had me sold to someone who would keep me out of the way. I—" Stark went silent as his arm issued a loud pop followed by a whirring grind. Stark's eyes locked into his arm. "You have one. Which?" Stark's question was delayed as the man began to cough. "Which is it?" He finally managed.

"What?" He snapped.

"Your arm? Which number is it? I think we are still in the low thousands."

"What the fuck are you talking about? You only ever made one of these pieces of shit."

Stark's brow furrowed. "No that can't. I authorized production more than a year… There has to be a number, on the under side?"

He lifted his arm as high as the trash would allow. "Nothing." He knew the fucking thing well enough he'd had noticed if it was numbered. "Good fucking thing too. Saved everyone else from having to suffer with this thing."

"It shouldn't even be two years old. I don't know what you did to it but it shouldn't be making those sounds. I can—."Stark's hands reached towards his arm.

"Do to it?! I didn't fucking do anything! I didn't ask for this! I didn't want this! Every part of my life you touch is fucking ruined. Give me one fucking good reason why I shouldn't throw you back in that chest and deliver your worthless ass to whoever had enough money to buy you!"

Stark let his hands fall. His body visibly sagged. "I don't. I don't know what I've done to you but I'm sorry. I'm trying to take SI in a direction that can help people so I can finally do some good. I don't want my legacy to only be making things that blow up I want to help…people. If you take me wherever it is I'm going you take away my ability to do that. You may hate me but you can't deny I'm smart. If I apply that knowledge I  _ can _ make a difference."

"So why didn't you before?"

"I…" the man's head fell back. "I did. I have been. But when I was over there I realized I'd become part of a system that was okay with zero accountability and I'm done. I just. I owe it to someone to stop wasting my life. I promised him. I want to keep that promise. Please?"

Brown eyes held his as Stark fell silent. His face showed nothing but sincerity. It made anger roar to life in his chest. "If you'd just fucking done it to begin with you wouldn't be in this fucking situation.  _ I _ wouldn't be in this situation. This is all because of you." Stark remained silent, his shoulders still slumped.

He rocked back on his heels. He could practically  _ feel _ Stark's eyes tracking his every movement. Stark deserved imprisonment hell maybe even death so why the fuck did the raw honestly in Stark's voice make his stomach knot. It was too much to decide now. He needed to move before Brent deemed him incapable.

"Stand up." He demanded, rolling to his feet.

He crossed to the trunk of the car and began to dig in the bug out bag in the trunk. Pulling his gun first he tucked it into the waistband of his pants. Next out came an oversized blanket. A pink stuffed animal in the bottom of the bag caught his eye. He swallowed the emotion that tried to flare on his chest and turned to look at Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the last chapter ended in a cliffhanger!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

Tony

Tony watched as the man returned to the trunk of the car. He tried without success to use his arms to help support his weight in order to stand. After almost getting a mouthful of dirt he looked behind him. A tree was a foot or so away. If he could lean back on it he'd be able to use his legs instead. 

He watched his hired transportation as he scooted back but his movements stilled as the man produced a gun from the trunk. His heart hammered against the reactor. But man tucked the gun away before returning to digging. Taking a steadying breath he scooted the last bit to the tree. 

Planting his back firmly in the trunk he pushed up with his legs. The muscles spasmed and shook, trying to comply after far too long without adequate nutrients. A hand on his arm made him jump. His captor had crossed from the car. "Please." He said quickly. "Please other side." The man's hand was wrapped firmly around his injured arm. When the man did not immediately move or even acknowledge that he spoke he continued. "My shoulder is torn on that side. From when I escaped."

The man moved to his other side and yanked him to his feet. It still hurt but nothing like it would have if it was his other arm. Looking up he noticed the trunk was closed. No more chest? The man did still have the gun, and now a massive blanket. Did he mean to kill him and hide his body? No that didn't fit. He pushed away that idea.

For a moment he considered going for the gun or trying to run but there was no way it would end well. He was so weak and tired already. Plus those fucking amazing blue eyes were watching him like a damn hawk.

He allowed himself to be lead to the car. "Back seat, lay down. Head on this side." The man's voice brokered no argument. Not that he had much in him to argue. Awkwardly he clambered into the backseat and laid down as instructed, his head on the passenger side of the car. The man tossed the blanket over his feet. "Cover up completely. Face too. Don't need anyone looking in and seeing you."

He pulled the blanket up over his face. It made the air beneath feel somewhat stifling but it was by far the least horrible thing he'd been through recently. He heard the door close then a few moments later the drivers door open, the engine turn over, and then the jostle of the car moving. "So what is your name?" He asked, raising his voice some to be heard through the blanket.

"Shut the fuck up." The man snapped.

"Huh, your parents must have been interesting people." He said more to himself than the man. If he was heard there was no reply. He let his head fall back into the seat. So his not unattractive mystery transporter knew who he was, knew what the reactor was, had a gun, and very clearly hated him. Just fabulous.

A soft whir from the front seat caught his attention. Tall, dark, and deadly had  _ insisted _ his was the only one. The arm had no mark. Each prosthetic should be individually numbered to insure the correct parts were used if repairs were needed since they were all so unique. 

If his was unmarked… Could he have been the first? He tried to remember the man in the hospital bed. Maybe it was the same guy? He'd been so tired that day. He'd had less than four days to create and fabricate that first arm. Still even if it was the first it shouldn't sound _ like that _ . He'd heard at least four gears slip and the grinding meant something was stuck somehow. It couldn't feel good.

He felt the weight of the last… How long had he been held captive? It felt like months which he knew was wrong. No he'd be dead if it was that long. He wanted to sleep but the pain that exploded through his chest with every breath made it difficult. 

"Do you have anything for pain?" He asked hopefully. "Something strong?"

"Are you a fucking drug addict too? Fucking shit."

He frowned. He was many things. A drug addict had never been one of them. "No. My shoulder, it's torn. And my chest?" No further replies came from the front seat.

He shifted, getting as comfortable as he could. How long had it been since he'd made that first arm? 2 years, more? Something like that. Obie had been the one to tell him the news. A missile had detonated after mishandling by some army grunt. Blown his arm clean off. Hadn't even been SI's fault but to shut up the press he'd made the arm and presented it to the man. Obie had miscalculated how alert the guy was. They'd spent almost 9 hours at the hospital trying to get enough footage for a 40 second news clip. He'd been ready to pass out in the folding chair the VA hospital had provided for family. 

He couldn't remember the army guy having amazing blue eyes though honestly he couldn't remember seeing the guy's eyes so it was hard to know. He thought the guy in the bed had black hair but it had been buzzed short. 

His stomach released a very long, loud growl. "Sorry, it's been awhile." He said through the blanket.

He might have dozed off, the warmth of the blanket made his head feel fuzzy. Still as time went on the heat went from ignorable to miserable. He was covered in a layer of sweat as his body tried to prevent being cooked. He was pulled from his half awake state by the sound of Mr deadly speaking to someone. He had a nice voice. Soothing, Tony decided. 

Who was he talking to? Why had they stopped? Had he arrived at his true captor's house? But then the car began to move again. It took several long minutes for the smell to penetrate the blanket. Food. Tall dark and deadly had stopped for fast food. And so far apparently none was for him. In that moment his chest tightened. Would a dollar menu cheeseburger really be the thing that finally broke him? He chastised himself. 

"Here." His heart skipped a beat as something landed in his stomach. Carefully he reached his hands around the edge of the blanket and pulled in whatever it was under. The wrapping crinkled as he opened the burger. 

He should eat slow, no telling when more food was coming. His stomach wasn't used to anything let alone something as greasy as a fast food burger. He managed to go slow on the first bite. In that moment it could have been the most amazing tasting burger of his life. He inhaled the rest of the burger in record time. He downed the offered bottle of water with the same enthusiasm. 

He felt a bit sick to his stomach but he couldn't bring himself to care. The weight of food in his belly was the final anchor he needed to be pulled down into sleep.

Bucky

He could clearly mark the change in Stark's breathing as he fell asleep. He still had no clue how he should be handling this or what the right answers were. If he didn't deliver Stark how long until Brent or the buyer found him. If they found him would they just punish him? What if they went after the people he cared about?

Delivering Stark was the only option. But then was he comfortable condemning someone to a life of what was basically slavery assuming they didn't just kill him? He still didn't know how to feel about Stark's declaration he wanted to do more to help the world either.

After all who hadn't heard about the intelli-crops Stark Industries had designed a few years back that were completely drought proof and grew double the normal harvestable product as regular plants? The news loved to do puff pieces of previously starving kids in Africa who no longer went to bed hungry because of that invention. It was obvious Stark had the mind for it so why the fuck did he make weapons instead?

War profiteering was what some news stations liked to call it. He slowed and clicked on his blinker to turn. Stark made a soft whimpering sound in his sleep. 

His phone began to buzz in the cup holder. He frowned. He was making up time. Why would Brent… But the caller ID read  _ Lawyer _ . He groaned inwardly. Was that call supposed to be today?

"Hello?" He said, holding the phone with one hand as he drove.

"Mr. Barnes?"

"Yeah." He heard Stark moving from the back seat and prayed to any God who may be listening that the man didn't scream.

"I've been working over your case and I wanted to let you know I'm going to have to extend it."

"Again?"

"The other side is still presenting evidence stating you are unfit to—"

"I thought that's why I did the classes and the therapy and presented all those pictures and video—"

"I understand your frustration. I assure you this case is my top priority. These things just take time."

"How much more is this gonna cost?"

"At least another thousand just based on the hours I've—"

"Fine. Keep me posted." He snapped the phone shut.

Stark's breathing told him that he was definitely awake but the other man didn't speak which suited him fine. 

At least this job would be enough to easily pay the fucking lawyer for the third extension. He'd done everything they asked, jumped through every fucking hoop and still. Stark was muttering under the blanket. A few words at first that slowly shifted into a constant drone of sound that seemed to grate against his frayed nerves like sandpaper. "Are to incapable of shutting the fuck up!" He snapped finally.

"Kinda? Thank you for the food. I had a sip of water on my way to the meeting turned kidnapping but then I'm not sure how long they had me but it felt like a long time. Before that, in Afghanistan I mean, they didn't really feed us much more than shit flavored water so—"

"If you don't shut the fuck up I'm driving straight through to get you to this buyer!" 

That worked. Stark fell silent. He closed his eyes. The lawyer was Stark's fucking fault too. He was fine before the missile. Everything was fine. He shoved away the whisper in the back of his mind reminding him that wasn't true. No, this was all Stark's fault.

Stark managed to remain silent the next two hours. As he pulled into the hotel and parked he could practically feel the other man's anxiety. "Stay in the car." He said, grabbing the fake ID he used for jobs. The hotel room was already booked under his false name and paid for. A quick fake signature and he had his key. 

As always the hotel wasn't exactly fancy. It was something the auction house paid for on long trips. This would be the first job he'd need a room for a second day of travel. He pulled the car around to the back of the building where his room was. "Stay under the blanket." He warned before stepping back to let Stark step out of the vehicle. He closed his fingers around Stark's apparently injured arm. If he tried to run it would hurt that much more. 

Stepping into the room he shut the door behind him. "Can I?" Stark's hands reached for the blanket.

"Yeah." He said and Stark slid the blanket down around his shoulders. "Stay here." He said before returning to the car for his bag. Stark still stood in the middle of the small room when he returned, blanket still around his shoulders.

The room was nice enough. It didn't immediately appear to be infested with anything at least. "Can I go shower?" Stark asked into the quiet. 

"Yeah. Fine. Whatever. Just don't try to leave." He said choosing that moment to pull his gun and set it on the bed next to his bag.

If the subtle threat worried Stark the man hid it well. "Anything we can do about…" he held up his hands.

"Those stay."

"Then do you have a knife to get my shirt off? I don't think either if us want me dripping all over." 

He  _ did _ have a knife in the bag in the trunk but no need. He stood and grabbing the sides of the rip from earlier he easily pulled it apart. His arm made a loud pop followed by a series of clicks but at least it didn't shock him. 

"Offer still stands. I can fix that," Stark said over his shoulder as he moved to the bathroom. He ignored the man's words.

Tony

He was fairly certain he hadn't gotten close to hiding the surprise when Mr. Deadly ripped his shirt off like a fucking strip dancer. Thankfully the blue eyes had been on the cloth and not his face. He was  _ perfectly _ aware now was neither the time or place to get turned on but apparently his cock had different plans. He managed to at least get into the bathroom before it would be noticable. 

The bathroom was tiny but at least the shower looked clean. He managed to get out of his sweatpants easy enough, his dick slipping free to slap his stomach as he pulled off his underwear. 

He squeezed the base of his cock with enough force it should hurt, should make him come down some but if anything it just made things worse. How long had it been? The reporter, two days before getting a chest full of metal. So what? 3 months? 4? So yeah it made sense. He hadn't gone that long without  _ something _ in a long time.

He moved to turn on the water as the squeezing grip turned into a lazy stroke. He was pretty sure he hadn't jerked one out alone in the shower since his teens but it would work. He paused to fight with the shower taps. It appeared to have only two options. Ass naked swim in the Arctic or up Satan's asshole. He went with asshole. The scalding water felt amazing on his sore muscles and seemed to be driving every flicker of tension straight down between his legs. 

He alternated between focusing on washing his hair and stroking himself. It still hurt like fuck to reach up to his hair but even that pain wasn't enough to calm his eager cock. Normally he preferred to let his hands roam more but he handcuffs prevented that. They also clinked loudly if he wasn't careful, especially when he jacked off. He wondered if Mr Deadly could hear and if so would he know what Tony was doing. 

He wasn't sure if it was the mental image of his captor knowing what he was doing or simply because it had been so long but he finished almost embarrassingly fast.  _ At least I wasn't trying to impress anyone, _ he thought ruefully as he cleaned off the wall of the shower. 

Quickly he did one final rinse before coming out of the shower. He glanced at his clothes on the floor. He'd been wearing them for what had to have been at least a week. He considered coming out in just a towel so he could wash his clothes. After several minutes of thought he pulled on just his sweatpants. Using the shitty bar soap at the sink he washed and hung his underwear. 

Maybe if Deadly was taking him to his death he'd at least be willing to buy him something else to wear. Meet your maker not looking like shit and all that.  _ Speaking of looking like shit, _ he thought, stopping to glance in the mirror. If his ribs had stuck out before, they positively jutted out now. All around the reactor was a myriad of bruising in different stages of healing. His ribs too were dappled. His eyes looked sunken and dark. In a word he looked like shit.

He sighed, rubbing his scruffily forming beard before pushing a hand through his hair and stepping out of the bathroom. Deadly was talking on the phone when he stepped out. The bright blue eyes snapped to his. In an instant his captor picked up his gun then put a finger over his lips. The message was clear. Stay quiet or else.

"Jess, no. No" the man's voice was almost eerily calm. "I'm not. I know you've been recording our conversations Jess and I'm not doing this."

He crossed the room and quietly sat on the couch.

"Jess you know this is not fair to her. You…"

The man's voice tapered off as he listened to whoever was on the other line. 

"No. I'm—. She doesn't... I…" Deadly stopped talking to look at his phone then closed it and running his hand through his hair.

"Ex trouble?" He asked cautiously. 

"Don't you fucking start!" The bright blue eyes snapped up to glare at him. 

He held up both hands in surrender. The man stood and began to pace. He felt his heart thump hard enough to bump the reactor. In spite of the man, at least so far, showing no real outward aggression towards him someone that agitated was never good. He carefully pulled his feet up onto the couch and tucked into the arm of the couch to make himself as small as possible.

"Come here." The man snapped after at least five minutes of pacing. Standing cautiously he crossed to the bed were the man stood. "Sit." He followed the instruction, carefully sitting on the floor. The man pulled a key from the bag on the bed. Deadly uncuffed his right hand and then tightened the cuff around the metal leg of the bed. The base of the leg flared enough that even if he could manage to lift the bed the cuff would not slide off.

Silently the other man collected his bag and gun and stalked into the bathroom. 

He started at the door until the sound of the shower turning on could be heard through the door. He let his head drop back against the mattress and let out a breath he hadn't even been aware he was holding. He could hear the other man fiddling with the taps. "Good luck with that." He mumbled. 

A tiny part of his mind wondered if Deadly would have the same kind of fun in the shower he'd had. His free hand scratched at the beard that was trying to cover a good portion of his jaw now. If his sexy captor was jerking off it certainly wouldn't be his skeletal self. 

He closed his eyes. What was happening back at the house? He wondered. Had Obie tripped the fire trap? Probably. Obie would try his code first but then when Jarvis told him about the lock down he was sure the Obie would just break the glass. Hopefully U helped DUM-E understand to stay on the charging stations so they didn't get burned up. He'd pointed the fire away from his cars too so those should be okay. He just hoped Obie hadn't tried to access Jarvis' servers. Assuming he ever got home it would be a nightmare to reintegrate Jarvis with everything. He'd been certain that any copies of the reactor he'd drawn were right under a flamethrower. Obie wouldn't have this. This was his.

He pulled himself out of his thoughts. He needed to focus. If he wanted to live, he needed to convince tall dark and deadly that he was worth keeping around. The man had been  _ very _ clear he wasn't driven by money or Tony working for him and he was in no fit state to try to use his looks to make any headway. What else could he work with? He played back through the conversations he'd had. He'd been shocked to find Tony in the trunk. He didn't look like a hardened human trafficker either. He'd fed him and let him shower. His boss was tracking them too if that phone call was any indication. Maybe—. The bathroom door opened cutting off his thoughts. 

Mr Deadly stepped out of the bathroom now as shirtless as Tony. He couldn't stop his eyes wandering over the man's solid chest. The left quarter of his body was scared. He had to be one then that had caused the missile to go off. Still even with the scarring he looked amazing as far as Tony was concerned. Muscles just visible as he moved without looking like he spent 23 hours a day at the gym. He'd had his fill of super muscular guys in college. Now he much preferred fit to ripped. Focus.

He forced his eyes up to the man's face. "Your boss is tracking us." He said lamely. Focus! "Through your phone. That's how he knew we were off track." He continued in a rush. "If you have a set of precision tools I could remove the GPS from your phone. Or better yet if you have a laptop I can plot a course that looks like you're going anywhere you want. You could drop off the map. They would never be able to track you."

Deadly stopped drying his hair and considered him for a moment. "Why the fuck would I trust  _ you _ with my phone?" The words had no heat. He at least didn't sound mad.

Carefully Tony continued, watching the man's face for any sign of anger. "If I'm just removing the GPS I wouldn't even need the phone on. But if I straight remove it they will have our last location and it's a lot more obvious you're running. If I'm plotting a course you could watch and make sure I'm not doing anything besides what I say."

The man snorted. "Like I would even begin to understand what you were doing even if I watched." He pulled a shirt out of his bag. 

"I've been told I'm a very good teacher." He offered. Now that they were talking he wasn't exactly sure how to respond.

The man started to speak when there was a sharp knock at the door. He stilled as the man moved to answer it. Was that the buyer? He thought he had more time. His heart pounded against the side of the reactor sending spikes of pain through his chest From his spot cuffed at the foot of the bed he couldn't see the door. He heard a woman's voice. 

He hadn't considered the idea the buyer might be a woman. Didn't really change the fact that he didn't want to be trapped against his will or killed but it was still a different thought. The door closed. 

"Hope you like pepperoni." The man said as he rounded into Tony's view and passed him a pizza box. 

"I'm pretty sure as an American it's illegal  _ not _ to like pepperoni." He said trying to keep the look of shock off his face. The smell of melted cheese and tomato sauce filled his nose and his stomach growled loudly. As he moved to open the box he noticed a small sticker on the side. The order, written in shorthand and a name J Barnes. 

Bucky

He tossed his bag into the floor in the bathroom. Rage and frustration warred in his chest. He  _ knew _ she was recording their conversations. After his last talk with Jess days later the lawyer had specifically mentioned things he'd said in the conversation as reasons he was 'unfit'. He was pretty sure that was fucking illegal but apparently it wasn't stopping anyone. There was no room to pace in the small bathroom but his hands still clenched as the anger tried to find  _ some _ way out.

He needed to calm down. He wasn't supposed to let himself get this worked up. It was bad for his heart. He cranked the water to full and freezing before stepping under the spray. It was cold enough to burn at his skin. He forced himself to breath letting the burn of the water keep his thoughts in the present. 

By the time he was feeling calm again he was shivering. He carefully worked the taps but couldn't seem to get it to do anything besides burning hot. Giving up and turning it to hot he tried to figure out what the fuck he was supposed to do now. He needed to eat which probably meant Stark did too. He may hate Stark but he wasn't going to let the man starve and honestly he looked one missed meal away. It sounded like he'd swallowed the burger whole that afternoon. Unwilling to leave the warmth of the water yet he dried off his arms and called in pizza.

That handled he groaned. He should take Stark to the buyer. If he didn't he would be fucked, pure and simple. Besides he hated Stark. It shouldn't be this fucking hard. He turned off the water and dried. He frowned as he noticed something on one of the towel hooks. Underwear? Why was Stark's underwear hanging up? And soaking wet? Had he showered with them on? 

He dried and pulled on his own underwear and a fresh pair of pants. It would be awhile until his hair was dry enough not to soak a shirt so he didn't bother with one. Wasn't like Stark hadn't seen him shirtless before. Though last time he'd been covered in enough burn cream and bandages to choke an elephant. 

He stepped out of the bathroom and Stark's head snapped to look at him. He could feel the other man's eyes on his chest. He forced himself to look straight ahead and focus on drying his hair. 

He knew how horrible the scars looked. He'd been turned to the side when the blast had gone off. The explosion had wrapped around him, burning both his chest and back. His arm had been burned straight down to the bone according to the nurses. He was glad he'd been too out of it to see that part. Healed now the scars covered his ribs down to his hip and out across his chest and back. He hated every inch of the scars. 

Stark's voice pulled him from his thoughts. He blinked, trying to catch up with what the man had said. But then Stark's mouth was running again. He hadn't even considered the idea that the GPS could be removed. They didn't have his real name or his real address. Hell the car tag wasn't even registered to him. Still if they had ever tracked his phone when he was home they'd know. 

"Why the fuck would I trust  _ you _ with my phone?" The reply was slow to start but annoyingly everything Stark said made sense. Still. He wasn't even remotely good with computers or the internal workings of phones. He snorted. "Like I would even begin to understand what you were doing even if I watched." He grabbed a fresh shirt from the bag and pulled it on. It was long sleeved. In spite of the heat he preferred to keep the metal monstrosity covered.

The faintest smirk spread across Tony's face as he mentioned being a good teacher. A heavy knock on the door cut off his reply. Stark craned to try to see who was at the door. He passed around the bed and out of view before opening it. A cute little redhead held out the pizzas. He paid in cash, pushed away the idea of trying to get her number, and returned into the room. 

"Hope you like pepperoni." He passed the box to Stark. He couldn't help but smile at the reply. He walked over and tossed his pizza on the bed before pulling out both his gun and he key from his bag. Making sure the gun was clearly visible he released the cuff holding Stark to the bed. It let the right cuff dangle, the left still squarely around Stark's wrist. Tony carefully stood and crossed to the dingy couch before sitting.

He let his mind turn as they ate in relative silence. If Stark could really do like he said and make it look like he'd made a break for New York or something they'd have no reason to search his house. They'd take off to New York, right? But what if they came looking instead closer to home? Before he had too much time to stop himself he spoke.

"So." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

Tony

He finished chewing before looking up at Barnes. "In case I haven't made it  _ abundantly _ clear, I don't like you." The other man started.

He scoffed. "People don't like movies with shitty endings or people walking too slow on the sidewalk. You  _ hate _ me." Barnes shrugged. Or rather tried to shrug. His right shoulder managed the motion fine. His left moved less than a few millimeters then the gear slipped and it made a soft pop instead. "Doesn't that hurt? Look I don't like my doctor but I still go if something is up. You don't have to like me to let me fix that." The man raised an eyebrow and stared at him silently. "Fine! Fine. Continue." He said, frustrated.

"So I don't like you, and I'm not particularly keen on fucking up my whole life to keep you from whoever wanted to buy your ass."

"I—" he started but Barnes eyebrow went up again and he sighed before gesturing for the man to continue.

"That being said, I know you're smart. Probably one of the smartest people on the planet and if you're actually serious about helping people then the entire world stands to get a lot of good innovations if I don't take you."

He let several moments of silence stretch before asking, "Am...am I good?" He didn't even try to fight the snark in his tone after being cut off, the international stutter. "Can I talk without the eyebrow…thing?" He gestured vaguely. Barnes nodded. "If we send your phone’s GPS on a course somewhere like Japan or something they'd have to worry catching you before they could even consider trying to fuck up your life. By then I'd have had time to get done whatever I need to take down Stane. Then I could pull you under the SI umbrella, keep you safe, get our lawyers on it, whatever you need. Done." He took a bite of pizza, chewed and swallowed before continuing. "I am serious, by the way, about helping people. I have." He took a breath. "I have my lab at home set up to burn every weapons design I ever had if someone tries to take them. When I can get to a computer I can shut down all weapons manufacturing, delete the specs. If it were up to me, SI would have already have ceased all production of weapons. I thought that's what Obie was doing for me but I was wrong. Everyone I trusted…" he tapered off. He was rambling now. He wanted Barnes to trust him enough to help but that didn't mean he had to tell him about Pepper or Rhodes. How it was his fault they were gone. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts he finished. "I'm not going back to mass producing weapons, period."

Barnes was quiet for a long time after. He returned to eating his pizza trying to ignore the weight of the other man's eyes. He was used to being watched. Hell he'd never been able to leave his house without a herd of paparazzi on his ass. He'd handled them better than Howard at least. Howard had gotten into a fair bit of trouble knocking out the press. Never hurt anyone, not really, but it was enough they learned not to get in his face. Growing up it was just expected he should deal with them getting as in his business as much as they wanted. Then after the Trey situation in college when he couldn't so much as glance out a window without the press trying to crawl through. He'd found Happy and hired him on the spot. He wondered if Happy was okay. He needed to find him, he decided, once this was done.

"These lawyers," Barnes' voice cut into the silence, "are they able to handle any kind of case?" 

He looked up, meeting those  _ unreasonably _ intense eyes. What kind of help did he need? He considered pressing but decided better. "Yeah. They can handle anything. Shit if they can't, and you help me out I'll hire you you're own damn fleet of lawyers. I know you don't want my money but it can help with whatever you need."

Barnes and Noble nodded silently. Then spoke. "Okay. I'll help. But understand if  _ anything _ happens to anyone I care about I'll pull that reactor out personally."

"Noted." He said, keeping his face set in spite of the way how heart leaped in fear at the words.. "So, how are we doing this?" When Barnes looked confused he added, "The GPS?"

"I want it to show us on track for as long as possible."

He nodded. "Smart. That gives us the biggest 'head start'. Where was the intended destination?" Barnes rummaged through the bag and pulled out a paper which he passed over. He was surprised to see the buyer didn't even reside in California. He didn't recognize the address either. "Any idea what this address is?"

"Abandoned warehouse."

He frowned. Well that didn't bode well for his continued existence. All the more reason to get Barnes completely on his side. People didn't get taken to empty rusted out warehouses to live long happy lives. "Do you have a laptop in there too?" Barnes and Noble shook his head. "Do you own a laptop period?" Another head shake. "Fuck. Okay. What time is it?" He looked around for a clock. "RadioShack should still be open. We can go get one." When the other man just raised an eyebrow he frowned. "What? I can pay you back."

"You fucking died remember? You can't be in public."

"You don't have a hoodie or something in there? I don't exactly  _ look _ like me right now anyway." Barnes sighed but began to dig in the bag again. A few moments later he caught a hoodie the other man tossed at how face. It was probably oversized on Barnes which would make it positively drape off him but that was fine. He pulled it on. It was black, soft, and definitely well worn. He stood. "How do I look?" He held out his arms to emphasize just how ridiculously large the garment was on him. It felt like when he'd raided Edwin's closet as a child and tried on all his clothes.

"Homeless." Barnes said with a smirk. "Pull that cuff in or you'll really draw some attention to yourself."

"The cuff? Really? We are leaving that on?"

"I said I'd help you Stark. I didn't say I liked you and I  _ really _ didn't say I trusted you. If you run, I am utterly fucked. I need an easy handle to grab."

He sighed. "For what it's worth I'm not sure I can run anyway." He tapped the reactor. "Decreased lung capacity." When the man didn't speak or move to remove the handcuffs he shrugged before pulling it into the hoodie's sleeve. "Good?" He didn't try to hide the exasperation in his tone.

If Barnes noticed he didn't care. Instead he nodded and moved to the door. "Keep the hood up and your head down." He considered testing his theory, trying to run but the chances of succeeding were shit. Instead he followed Barnes and Noble to the car and stretched out in the back seat without being prompted. He was relieved to realize the stifling blanket was still in the hotel room. It took less than 5 minutes to locate a Radio Shack that was still open.

As Barnes parked he spoke. "I can't leave the hood up inside. They will think I'm there to steal something. I'll try to put you between the cameras and workers." It was not an ideal plan but it would have to work. "Hey do you speak any other languages?" He asked a thought occurring to him. 

"Romanian."

" _ Really?"  _ He asked, surprised. That wasn't one he'd heard stateside.

"My grandparents immigrated." Barnes said simply.

"Fair. If I need to talk I'll use Romanian." He said. "That will make it so I don't sound like me either.

"Wait.  _ You _ know Romanian?" Barnes stopped halfway through reaching for the handle.

"I am conversational in twelve languages. I deal with a lot of foreign countries." He shrugged. He'd learned French and Spanish right along with English growing up and every few years he'd been expected to integrate a new one. 

He tested his handle, and was not surprised to find it locked. Barnes opened it from the outside. He followed the larger man into the building. It was eerily quiet without the shouts of paparazzi and the click of their cameras. Not that he was complaining. The kid at the register nodded at them as they entered but was otherwise silent.

Barnes moved straight to the laptops while he was careful to keep out of the camera's line of sight as best as possible without looking suspicious. He glanced over the spec cards on the laptops. They were shit compared to what he was used to but any of them could work. He pulled one off the shelf and passed it to Barnes and Noble. The other man didn't comment and moved to go pay. He stayed back, pretending to look over the battery selection since that area seemed to have the fewest cameras. If anyone recognized him no one said anything aloud.

The trip back to the hotel was thankfully just as uneventful. He sat on the couch and quickly unboxed the laptop, plugged it in, and booted it up. It took painfully long to start. Barnes watched him, silently, from the bed. He couldn't decide if it was creepy or intriguing how laser focused that gaze could be. Maybe if his eyes weren’t such an amazing shade of blue it would be creepy. His knee bounced as the progress bar slowly filled. It took an extra ten minutes to rework the operating system into something more usable.

"Phone?" He held out his hand. The man stood and crossed to the sofa before dropping next to him. Only once seated did Barnes surrender his phone. "What time would we be leaving from the second hotel?"

"If I'm following the schedule we should leave there at 10." Barnes said.

"I'll set the program to take over the GPS at 10:03. No one is that precise."

Once he connected the phone he began to write a program that would lead Obie and anyone else following them on a trip around the world. It should have taken less than ten minutes. If he was home it would have been less than ten. As the computer clock read out double that long he could feel his frustration and anxiety mounting. It shouldn't take this long. Why was he taking so long? This was a  _ basic _ program. No part of the code should take twenty fucking minutes. He knew how to do this. The keyboard was laid out differently than the one he had at home and he kept making basic mistakes. A different layout shouldn't be enough to be fucking up  _ this _ bad. He was worthless.

Barnes shifted next to him and he flinched away from the movement. The other man stilled but he could feel the weight of those fucking eyes again. Quickly his fingers returned to the keyboard. He had to hurry. Nothing good ever came from making someone wait. Barnes had to know it was taking too long. Nothing this simple should be taking so long.

Thirty two minutes later he passed the phone back. Barnes took it without complaint. He wished the other man would _ say _ something. He needed to know just how fucked he was. Silence was always so much worse than shouting. It pressed in on his ears. "So do I need to do anything?" The man asked finally, turning the phone over in his hands as though expecting some obvious visual difference.

Why wasn't he saying anything any how long it took? "Uh, no. It will automatically take over after 10:03 the day after tomorrow. The GPS will have us taking off East. It will also route all their calls to your phone directly to the local police chief for whatever area they are calling from."

Barnes let out a bark of laughter. He jumped so hard he almost dropped the laptop. "You're fucking something Stark." The man said, is voice warm. He searched Barnes face but if anything the other man seemed amused, not angry at how long it had taken. Hesitantly he smiled back. He managed not to jump as badly when the man stood. He didn't turn around to strike or shout. Instead he crossed the room and plugged in the phone to charge before dropping back into the bed.

He waited several more moments before turning off the laptop and storing it back in the cardboard box it had come in. Now what? It was still early enough he wouldn't normally go to bed but honestly he was fairly confident he could sleep for a week at this point.

Barnes too seemed to be thinking of what to do with the intervening hours before bed. Finally Barnes reached over and turned on the TV. That helped at least to fill up the silence. He stretched on the couch as the man flipped through the channels. The first four had his face plastered all over the news. The great legacy he'd left. Statistics of how many lives he had impacted. He tried not to focus on them. He could feel those damn eyes watching him watch the show. 

The picture of his face cut away and Obie appeared on the screen. They had cut the conference so that it began in the middle of Obie speaking. "...with a heavy heart I regret to inform you Tony Stark has been located. As long suspected it appears he died as a result of a convoy attack in which many young men and women gave their lives to…"

"So that's him?" 

He nodded without turning. He didn't have to guess if Barnes was watching him to see him nod. He could feel it. Obie was gone, back to the newsroom. Then the Jericho missile demonstration video. His heart pounded. The arc reactor sparked in his chest, burning his skin and setting his nerves on fire. He couldn't breath. Move. Had to move. He could hear men shouting. So close they were coming to hold him, force him under the water again. He had to move. A hand clapped on his shoulder. He threw his elbow back but another hand caught it. "Stark!" Darkness was creeping into his vision. He couldn't blackout. He needed to run. Needed…

Bucky

He'd never seen an anxiety attack from the outside before. It was fucking terrifying to watch. Stark had nodded when he'd asked about the older man who expressed his regret at Stark's death on the TV. The man, Stane, was a good actor if Stark was being honest. He looked genuinely sad. 

It was interesting to watch Stark. He'd always been a fan of people watching and knowing someone's body language was definitely beneficial. When Stark focused on something that unreadable mask fell away and he was really surprisingly expressive. 

If he hadn't been watching Stark he might have missed the man's face go sheet white. In an instant Stark was on his feet, eyes wide, unfocused, and searching wildly for something unseen. "Stark." He said gaining his own feet as the man teetered dangerously off balance. If Stark heard him there was no response. He moved quickly around the bed. He dropped a hand into the man's shoulder and Stark's elbow flew back. His left arm moved out of instinct, stopping the attack before his mind even registered the movement. "Stark!" He repeated. The man stumbled another step forward and then crumpled. 

He managed to catch Stark before he smacked his head on the floor. Lowering him to the floor he quickly checked for a pulse. Strong and steady. He turned to look at the TV. It was showing a new story now. What the fuck freaked him out that bad? 

Didn't matter. Not his problem. Once he was confident Stark was neither faking nor in any current danger he wandered to the closet and pulled out a pile of spare sheets. Moving over to the pull out couch he felt around until he found the handle and pulled. It took less than a minute to make up the bed. 

It was a solid thirty minutes before Stark lurched awake. His hands scrambled frantically at his chest as a strangled whine slipped from his mouth. Stark's hands closed over the reactor and he fell still, chest heaving. "Welcome back." He said and Stark jumped. 

It wasn't as sharp of a movement as when he'd flinched away earlier while working on the phone. Or when he'd stood up after Stark was done. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know Stark had been through some hell, the myriad of bruises displayed that well enough. Still something about the reactions felt much deeper ingrained than just the last three months. He shook his head, pushing away the thoughts. It didn't fucking matter. He just needed to get him back to Stark Industries so Stark could keep his end of the deal and get him a lawyer that didn't fucking suck.

Stark sat slowly, his left hand still clutching the reactor. "What did you do to me?!" Stark's voice held surprising strength considering how pale the man's face still was. Brown eyes met his. 

"What? I didn't  _ do _ anything. You had an anxiety attack genius." He snapped.

"Anxiety...?" Stark looked confused, still disoriented.

"You saw something on the TV and flipped out." Stark's eyes drifted back to the TV then back to his face. "You passed out."

Stark continued to stare at him for several long moments. "Anyone ever told you your eyes are the  _ exact _ color of the ocean spray at sunrise?"

_ What the fuck? _ Maybe Stark  _ had _ hit his head, that sounded way to much like a pick up line. He struggled to form anything even remotely like an answer. Finally he managed, "what the fuck Stark?" 

The other man shrugged. "It's true. That soft foamy blue as the waves roll over the sand. Maybe I can show you someday." Stark stood, obviously planning to go sit on the couch but surprised to find it pulled out to a bed. "What time is it?"

He glanced over at the clock. "Ten." 

"If it's not an issue for you I'm going to go to bed I think." He nodded and standing he grabbed the cuff key from his bag. The pull out couch squeaked as Stark climbed on. Crossing to Stark he opened the right cuff and closed it around the front bar of the couch. He could move back and forth but the sides were welded so he couldn't slide the cuffs off.

"Are you kidding with this right now?” Stark snapped, shaking his cuffed wrist. “I said I'm going to help you. I fixed your phone so you won't be followed but I  _ still _ get the fucking prison treatment?"

"I told you Stark. You run, I'm fucked. You should get used to this."

"Great."

In spite of his protests it took only minutes for Stark to fall asleep but it was fitful from the start. He watched the other man toss and turn. It was strange seeing someone else in his clothes. It made him think way to much of Jess, before it all went so wrong. He pushed that thought away. The last thing he needed was that correlation in his mind. He pulled his iPod out of his bag and set it to play before pulling off his shirt and jeans and crawling into bed. 

Tony

He snapped awake and jolted up in bed, only to groan and drop back to the bed. The cuff had pulled him short and pain bloomed from his shoulder. The springs of the pull out couch protested loudly at the sharp movements. At least the pain seemed to chase away whatever nightmare had jolted him awake. As the blood pounding in his ears subsided he began to hear rain. Not just rain. Pouring rain. What part of California were there in? Then a soft male voice began to sing. Frowning he caught the faintest hint of dynamic range compression in the rain. It was a recording. He took in a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. No one was there. Just something Barnes was playing to help himself sleep.

He rolled onto his side, mindful now of his limited range of motion. Barnes was still asleep, his face slack. He rolled into his back. He missed the lab, Jarvis, U, hell even Dum-E. God Pepper and Rhodney. He felt a lump rise in his throat. He couldn't do this right now. He needed to move. Needed to walk around. 

A soft whimper pulled his attention back to his mandatory roommate. The man's face was tight with fear now, even in sleep. As he watched the man's right arm flexed, fist clenching. Then the leg arm made a loud grinding pop and the gear slipped a few teeth. At the sound the man's eyes opened wide. In an instant he watched panic, confusion and fear wage over the man's face then after a few blinks he stilled. Ice blue eyes locked into his. "D'I wake you?" That was unreasonably fucking adorable. Someone so hot was not allowed to also be fucking cute.

"No sleeping beauty I was already awake." He said, unable to stop the smirk as he watched the man's reaction to the jab.

"Fuck you." He mumbled back but there was no heat in the curse.

"I for one am not gonna be able to go back asleep. What do you say to letting me free so I can make us some shitty hotel room coffee?"

When Mr. Fucking adorable blinked in confusion he rattled the cuff. Barnes sat slowly on the bed and rubbed his face. Had he fucking slept nude? He was definitely shirtless but the sheet was pulled up almost to his thigh and he didn't see any kind of underwear. Nude was definitely his personal sleeping preference when not being held forcibly against his will. His eyes tracked lazily over the muscles just under the skin as the man moved. He was so focused on watching the whisper of abs as the man breathed he almost caught the cuff keys with his face. 

Turning he released the cuff from his wrist and tossed the keys back. The cuffs jingled where the hung loose from the bed. He rubbed the ache in his wrist as he stood. The pain did nothing to soothe the tightness in his belly. Probably shouldn't have enjoyed the view  _ quite _ so much in just pajama pants. Still. If tall, sexy, and deadly was going to go to bed either naked or really fucking close to it then he was going to have to deal with the seeing the tent he caused.

He crawled out of the bed, ignoring the fucking springs. He adjusted himself as he crossed to the shitty little mini kitchen and started looking for the things needed to make coffee. When the bed squeaked, signalling the man was standing he glanced over. Disappointingly apparently the man's boxers had just ridden up. Not totally nude. Still even close the man really was gorgeous. The slightest tan in his skin hinted at something exotic in his ancestry. His hair was sleep ruffled, sticking up in various directions. He wanted to run his fingers through it. Was it a soft as it looked?

Barnes crossed over to dig in his suitcase. He realized absently he was still wearing the other man's hoodie. "You need this?" He tugged on the hoodie.

Barnes looked up. "I ruined your shirt. Only fair to give you one."

"Good cause I wasn't planning on giving it back." The man snorted but otherwise was quiet.

By the time the shitty hotel room coffee was made the man, sadly, was dressed. He waited until the man had completely polished off his glass of bitter liquid before asking quietly. "Could I use the laptop to check on my lab at home? I can cut in where they can't detect anything. I just want to see how bad things are…" he tapered off as Barnes lifted that fucking eyebrow. He was quiet a beat but the man didn't speak. "Sorry. Nevermind. Sorry it was a stupid thing to ask." He said, standing to crossed to the bathroom. 

Once the door was safely closed behind him he leaned against the wall and drew in a shaky breath. The lump that had tried to form earlier was back in full force. Even if he got out of this alive, even if he beat Obie, what were the chances he'd ever get to go home? Would he even want to? Was it a home without Pepper? Without Rhodey? He shook his head, forcing himself to breathe. He wasn't going to get sad right now. There was too much going on. He needed to have every bit of his wits about him and falling apart in a shitty hotel bathroom with his only chance at freedom on the other side of a particular board door wasn't going to get him home. He turned on the fucking inferno shower and scrubbed his skin till it hurt. 

Drying off the mirror he took a moment to examine himself. He somehow managed to look like a fat skeleton. All his bones still jutted out but his stomach was round and full. Great. Super fucking attractive. Add on the fact he looked like a fucking hobo with his overlong hair and scraggly beard and he looked like a completely cluster fuck. Just fucking great.

He pulled the underwear he'd left to dry yesterday off the hook. It wasn't the cleanest his clothes had ever felt but it was miles better from yesterday. He tried to find reasons to hide longer in the bathroom but his eyes kept drifting to the mirror and finally he decided it was best to leave.

Barnes still sat at the table nursing what looked like a second cup of the putrid coffee. "How can you drink that?"

"Ex military remember? This is like heaven compared to the shit you get in the army." He nodded. They hadn't really talked about the accident but Barnes tone didn't really leave room to ask questions. "Come here." He felt his heart drop. Was it time to put the fucking cuffs back on? It seemed too early for that. "Come show me what the lab of the great Tony Stark looks like." He stopped halfway across the room, eyes searching the man's face. Was this a joke or was he being serious? He was pretty sure he couldn't handle it being a joke. 

The other man pulled the laptop from the bag and set it down. He hesitantly crossed to the table and sat. Booting up onto his virtual environment instead of the computers base operative system it took an extra 5 minutes but was worth the wait. It was a bastard version of what he had at home but it was still better than basic Windows. 

"This might take awhile." He said honestly as he set about working in breaking into his own systems. He knew the flaws and which were easiest to exploit but those were watched very closely. Jarvis would log it before he could get in and tell him not to. And if Obie was smart, which unfortunately he was, he'd be watching the log reports 24/7. 

It took under an hour to work out how he was getting in and then to execute it. As he worked he registered the slow rise if the sun outside the dusty curtains. "Okay. I think I'm...good." He tapped the key to start the code.

With a soft beep the rudimentary program began. Fifteen seconds seemed to stretch into eternity and then with another soft beep the screen filled with video feed from his lab. It looked like a bomb had gone off. Ashes and melted cables covered most available work space. His heart clenched. He'd written the code, knew what it would do, but seeing it. Using the laptops keys he rotated the camera. "Jarv--" a hand slapped over his mouth. 

"What are you doing?" Barnes snapped on his ear. 

"Checking if my AI is okay. He won't give away anything. Please I just...I need to know."

He hadn't meant for his tone to come out pleading but apparently it worked because after a long pause the man nodded.

"Jarvis?" He called. A deafening silence issued back. "Jarvis? You there?" He'd known it was a risk. He had a backup drive hidden but to know that Jarvis, the real version was gone. He rotated the camera trying to find any hint that U or Dum-E survived. His chest tightened as he saw their empty charging stations. Gone. Everything gone. He reached up to close the laptop.

"Sir?" 

He stilled, relief washing through him. "J? I'm cutting into the feed. Blackout security override Alpha 435."

He waited to see if Jarvis would answer. "Blackout security initiated. Where are you? Are you injured?" His heart warmed at how worried Jarvis sounded.

"This is an AI?" Barnes spoke next to him. He'd been so focused on what he was seeing he'd completely forgotten then man next to him. 

"Yes Jarvis I'm okay. I'm still in California. Stane had me auctioned to the highest bidder. I'm going to try to be home soon. Listen, I need you to upload home interface into this remote system. I need it quick, clean, and untraceable."

"Very good sir."

"Yes, this is Jarvis. Jarvis say hi."

"Pleasure to meet you Mr…"

When the man was silent he spoke, "Barnes? Right?"

The man was on his feet. He looked pissed. "How did you?"

He tried to keep himself from flinching too hard at the sudden movement. "The pizza. It was on the pizza order."

Jarvis noted the change in tone. "Sir?" 

He glanced between Barnes and the computer. "We are good J. Looks like the security protocol was a success?"

"100.2% successful sir. As always it's a pleasure watching you create chaos. Perhaps a little bit farther from home next time?"

".2? Why .2?" He asked.

"Mr. Stane attempted to enter the room in spite of the flames. His shirt was consumed in the blaze."

He couldn't have stopped the hysterical laughter if his life depended on it. After the stress, and fear, and pain of since his repeated capture Jarvis' dry humor shook his sanity down to the core. When he finally regained some symbol of composure he was no longer sure if he was laughing or crying and his chest felt like he'd been stabbed. 

At some point during his meltdown Barnes had sat and pulled the computer around enough to rotate the camera. A familiar beep pulled his attention back to the screen. "U?" He pulled the computer around to see U stretching his arm to the camera. He chirped again. Opening and clicking the claw happily. 

"What is that?" Barnes asked.

"That's U. I made him in college. He uses a basic version of Jarvis’ learning software." Turning back to the computer. "U. Where is Dum-E?" He asked. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Barnes mouth 'dummy'?

He had just enough time to switch the camera to wireless mode before U plucked it off the ceiling. The computer screen was filled with a close up of the aperture of U's visual sensor as it opened and closed rapidly. The camera was carefully set on a work bench then picked up again, this time facing out. 

With a happy chirp U began to weave through the mess of debris that was once his lab. If he ever did get home he'd have about 8 years if cleaning to do. He could see evidence if the bots trying to clean. U trundled past a broom and half full dust pan. His heart sank as they moved into the production floor. Each machine was  _ covered _ in white foam. He groaned. The loading dock was covered in a sea of foam in various stages of melting away. In the middle of it all, next to a pile of fire extinguishers, was Dum-E. U emitted a stream of chirps and beeps. Dum-E turned and clicked his claw happily. Moving up to the camera Dum-E turned his arm to look directly into the camera and chirp happily. Honestly he was so glad to see them all okay he couldn't even tell off Dum-E.

"Hey buddy." He said and Dum-E chirped again. "I see you disabled the factory. Good job. Come inside and lock up okay?" With another chirp Dum-E rolled back inside and shut the loading bay door.

He leaned back in his chair and tried not to sigh where they could hear it. "J? How's that import coming?"

"Less than 5 minutes sir." 

"Has Obie come back?" 

"Only once sir. U chased him out with a kitchen knife. He has not returned since."

"Keep him out J." He said quietly. "Dum-E. Hey Dum-E, focus up." The camera centered on the Dum-E whose claw was turned longingly towards a single fire extinguisher still perched against U's charging station. "Dum-E, this is important I've got a job for you." Dum-E's claw turned excitedly towards the camera. "No more fire extinguishers for now. I need you to get a knife and stand guard by the stairs. If anyone that isn't me comes in, I need you to defend. Got it?"

Dum-E was quiet for a long moment, thinking. As best as Dum-E could hope to think. Then turning his claw back to the camera he let out a series of beeps, then a pause, then a new sequence of beeps. His heart clenched. "Yeah Dum-E." His voice came out tight. He cleared his throat before continuing. "You're right. If Pepper or Rhodey shows up you don't have to defend against them.

The bot chirped happily and turned out of frame. "U can you put the camera back please."

The camera was sat down then once again treated to a close up view of U's camera as it was returned to the ceiling. "Thanks U. Take care of Dum-E, keep working on the cleaning. I'll be home soon." U chirped and rolled away. "J?"

"Import complete sir."

"Close access to lab but continue interaction on the laptop."

"Very good sir." And the screen went black. The laptop powered down. Booting back up the Windows loading screen was replaced with the SI logo. A moment later Jarvis spoke clearly through the laptop speakers. "Upload successful sir." 

"Good. J, I need you to get into the weapons manufacturing plant, and the New York office. Don't let anyone know you're there. I'll connect again when it's safe.

"Of course, sir."

"Don't wait up for me." He said before closing the laptop. 

Emotions warred in his chest. He was relieved, of course, that they were all safe. Even if his lab was destroyed that was fixable. Still, would he ever actual get to come home? How permanent was his current situation. Would Dum-E and U simply be waiting a lifetime for a return that was never coming. He pushed the thoughts away as best he could and began to pack up. He could feel those fucking eyes watching him but he had no strength to contend with questions and was relieved when none came. 

Barnes and Noble waited several long moments then began to pack up his own sparse belongings. Everything packed the other man unhooked the handcuffs from the bed. For a very brief moment he thought maybe the man would just put them away but instead he approached. He held out both wrists but was at least pleasantly surprised when the cuff was latched only around his left. 

"Lay down in the back seat. I'll go check out." He nodded, dropping into the backseat a hand over his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I've been sick the last few days which as slowed down proofing. I will be off work again tomorrow with a stomach bug so planning to get at least one more chapter red and posted tomorrow!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

Bucky

The woman at the front desk glared at him but checkout went smooth enough. He ran through one more mental check to be sure he'd not forgotten anything as he crossed to the car.

Stark was in the backseat everything but his eyes and nose covered under the blanket. Was he _really_ doing this? Was he really going to save this fucking man? He let himself groan before opening the drivers door. Stark didn't acknowledge him and if it wasn't for the occasional quiet sniffs he'd have thought the man asleep.

He had woken that morning firmly and completely convinced he'd made the wrong call. Even if he did help Stark, and even if Stark’s team of lawyers did try to help would it not come to light _how_ the two of them knew each other? Stark wasn't sometime you just bumped into on the street and became friends with.

He'd been completely sure of his change of heart until watching the way Stark interacted with those strange, fucking fascinating robots. The look of love and compassion on Stark's face had no place to fit with the Stark in his mind. The Stark he knew about from TV and hell from fucking personal experience wasn't loving. He didn't care about anyone but himself. Maybe it was all an act. Maybe Stark was every bit the man he'd seen and dealt with before. Hell maybe this was an act. Anything to get away from his fate. 

He needed something else to think about. He was mentally running in circles with no clear answer making itself known. "Stark?" The man twitched, making the cuffs clink. "Those robots, do they beep in Morse code or something?"

"What? No." Stark sounded confused.

"So, what only you are able to understand them?" He said, not trying to keep the incredulity from his tone.

"Oh! No. It's... So when I made them back in college I was limited by the sound boards I could use at the time. They have 8 unique sounds they can make. Happy, sad, distressed, listening, confusion, hurting, and two extras that I planned to code uses for later. The language was actually emergent. I didn't try to create it or even influence it. It was before I graduated that I first witnessed it. God, twenty three years ago? Twenty four? Dum-E did it first. When no one was around in the lab he would chirp at U. At first everyone thought it was a bug, myself included. His motherboard had just been destroyed and then repaired, maybe I had missed something, you know? But then U started to answer. It began to evolve. Those two extra sounds I mentioned? They started coming up a lot more often but there was no coding tied to them. No reason for either bot to make those sounds but they were! I was already working on Jarvis at the time but the idea that AI could form it's on language was too good to leave so I side barred J and focused on their language as my final project. Dum-E was definitely better at talking at the start but U was learning new words as Dum-E could create them. So I taught Dum-E a simple task, one that U had never done. Then, I bought in U and told Dum-E to teach him. I went with my professors behind a one way mirror and we waited. It took Dum-E a minute to work out how to tell him but after that U did the task flawlessly. It was...shit. Sorry. I. I got distracted. What was the question?"

He'd been so caught up listening to the story it took him a moment to recall what he'd even asked. "You can understand them?"

"Sorry. Right. So sometimes? I guess is the best answer. They have names for people they are familiar with, patterns of beeps. That's what Dum-E was asking about."

He nodded. The idea that Stark, apparently while in school had created robots capable of making their own speech was incredible. "And then Jarvis is also AI?"

"Yeah. Dum-E and U were a proof of concept that artificial intelligence could learn without the need to program every command into them. After they were successful, after college, I came home and made Jarvis. He runs the house now. I only gave him some very basic programming, way less even than Dum-E and U and then I just started talking to him and showing him things. Each time something new was mastered I was able to use that to expand him more. I...am rambling again. Sorry. I know it's boring." Stark fell silent.

As the whispers of a city became visible on the horizon he leaned forward and turned in his music. He caught himself starting it quiet then turning it up instead of letting the wall of sound wash over him like he normally did. It wasn't because of Stark he assured himself. His head hurt from the lumpy hotel mattress.

If the music concerned Stark he didn't comment about it. Not that he would have turned it down even if his unwilling passenger asked. The last thing he wanted was to have an anxiety attack with Stark in the fucking car. He might not every black out like Stark had last night but his attacks definitely left him incapable of keeping Stark from escaping. 

"Wow. Your music choice is…just terrible but it helped me get an idea." Stark started speaking the moment they got out of town and he muted the stereo. "So I was thinking how I wanted some ear plugs but I would need money to get them and we don't have money right now except for whatever they paid you to transport me and I feel like you're not spending your money on me. So then I thought well maybe I could just wire money to your account but that big of a transaction may get noticed. So can we stop at a gas station here soon?"

"First off, fuck you. That music was awesome. Second why the fuck do we need to stop at a gas station?"

"Doesn't have to be a gas station. Really anywhere with prepaid Visa cards. Once we get one I'll have Jarvis rework it to link to an account of mine then we can go to an ATM and pull whatever we need."

"I thought you couldn't access your money? You were pretty clear about it."

"I can't access any _SI_ money. I have my own set aside that isn't kept on any books. It's untraceable for situations such as these."

"How do I know this isn't going to somehow tip off the police or alert your company to where you are?"

Stark huffed. "Do you really think if going to the police would help I'd still be riding in this car?" Stark's voice raised as he spoke. "Do you think if there was anyone at SI who I could trust I'd still be there? You don't get it, do you? You're the only chance I've fucking got right now okay? I have no clue who is or isn't on payroll on this kidnapping! I don't have anyone I can trust! Everyone I--" Tony's voice cracked and he fell silent save for slow deliberately breaths. More than ten minutes passed before Tony spoke again, this time in a voice barely above a whisper. "I need somewhere I can lay low until I can figure this out. Like you said, I died. I can't exactly just show up until I have a plan. I need your help."

He let Stark's words spin in his mind as they drove in silence. He'd sounded genuine. Genuine and scared. He turned the volume back up as they went through another small town. Making up his mind he pulled into a gas station. "Stay put, cover your face."

He stalked in and grabbed two bottles of water and got in line. Next to the register was a small rack of the Visas Stark mentioned. He resolutely ignored them. A kind older woman smiled at him as he reached the register. "This all today sugar?" He reached over and grabbed one of the fucking Visas and added it to the waters. "How much on the card, dear?" Stark hadn't mentioned that part. 

"5 please. And 15$ on 7." If Stark needed more on the card he'd have to figure it out himself.

He paid in cash and returned to gas the car. Stark had followed instructions but he could still see the man breathing under the blanket. He still didn't trust Stark. That wasn't ever going to change but if he could get his legal shit solved in exchange for not sending a human to their death that should probably be counted as a win all around. He climbed back in and tossed the water and card at Stark who grunted as the water landed on his stomach. "I put 5 on the card. That was the minimum."

Stark's head popped out and he reached for the card. "Yeah 5 is plenty. Before you drive can you grab the laptop? I'll have J set this up as we are driving."

He climbed back out, grabbed the laptop from the trunk and passed it to Stark before taking off. He heard the laptop boot as he pulled into the main road. "J you there?"

"Back so soon sir?" The AI answered. Somehow, impossibly the AI sounded pleasantly surprised. How the fuck was a computer able to sound pleasantly surprised?

"Yeah. I have one more job for you. I need you to link a prepaid with my account so I can pull money. Ready for this card number?"

"Always sir."

Tony rattled off the Visa card number. 

"Done. You will still need to override the ATM to take the card correctly, sir" Jarvis said calmly.

"Yeah I remember. Got everything you need?"

"Yes sir. Will that be all?"

"For now. Talk to you tonight J." He heard the laptop click shut. "Okay. When it gets a little darker we will find an ATM." He said.

Silence filled the car so he turned his music back on. If Stark had continued opinions about his musical tastes he kept them to himself. He adjusted his rearview to check if Stark was asleep. The other man was staring at the roof of the car. The AI, Jarvis, had told Stark he'd need to override the ATMs. "What did that mean? Override the ATM?"

"Hmm?" Stark turned to look towards the front of the car. "Oh. So ATMs are set up to only allow a certain about to be withdrawn at a time even if the bank doesn't have a limit. It keeps people from completely draining them in one transaction. This card combined with a security pin will allow me to override that and pull out basically every dollar the ATM has all while routing it back through my account. It's not illegal per se but definitely unethical."

He nodded. Definitely not illegal, it was routing back to Stark's account. Still he wasn't sure it made him feel any better.

"We want one that is walk up and not inside of a gas station or anything. The goal is somewhere that won't have cameras to catch the license plate. I don't think they are sophisticated enough to track us via security cameras but best not to risk it either."

He definitely agreed with that.

A soft sound issued from the back seat followed by a sharp breath that hissed through clenched teeth. "Fuck!" Stark groaned. Another sound followed again by the tight, pained breath. "Shit. That fucking hurts."

"Stark?"

"I'm fine. I'm--fuck! Do you have any water left?"

Confused he grabbed the bottle and passed it back. Stark sat up just a bit and took frantic sips of the water. Finally Stark dropped his head back to the car door pulling in quick breaths of air. "Sorry...hiccups…apparently really...hurt " he panted. A few more long breaths later Stark continued. "Diaphragm trying to push lungs up into a space that doesn't exist anymore. Thanks." He passed the water back up. 

Checking the rearview again Stark looked very pale as he stretched back out.

"Shit, hang on." He warned as the car in front of him dropped from 70 down to an almost dead stop. "Fucking hate this highway."

"You know now that I've written the program it would take less than 5 minutes to set the GPS up now instead of tomorrow morning."

Surprised he looked in the rearview. "You wrote a whole program last night?" He barely managed to keep the surprise out of his tone. He'd always assumed writing actual programs took days if not weeks of work but Stark had managed it in under half an hour yesterday.

Stark's reply was slow and careful. "Yeah?"

Of course he had. This was the genius Tony Stark. He shouldn't be surprised and he definitely shouldn't be impressed. "It's fine. We are getting close to Carson anyway. Let's just focus on finding an ATM."

It took a solid hour to find one that met with Stark's requirements. He pulled up near it, but not so close that his car should be visible. He grabbed his gun, making a point to be sure Stark saw it as the man climbed from the back seat, hood down obscuring his face.

Stark moved next to the ATM before covering the camera with his hand before inserting the card. Stark tapped out what was at least a two dozen number pin. There was a moment's pause and a stack of hundreds appeared. Stark pulled it out and another stack appeared to take its place. Then another. Then another. The final stack came smaller than the others, just whatever was left he guessed. He watched Stark for any signs the man was considering bolting but none came. Instead as soon as the final stack was tucked into his hoodie he moved out of the camera’s view, then dropped his hand and hustled back to the car.

"That should be enough." Stark said quietly, pulling literal stacks of money out and setting them in the floor to be able to count. "So I was thinking, you said we are going to Carson right?"

"Yeah why?"

"There is the most amazing Ritz-Carlton off Lake Tahoe. Let me take you there instead of the shitty motel there are putting you up in?

"What? No. We have a hotel room. We don't need to risk anyone else seeing you just so you can have a nice fucking room." Anger bubbled up in his chest. One day of staying in a reasonable hotel and Stark already couldn't handle slumming it. He was so fucking spoiled that--.

"No." Stark's voice cut across his thoughts. "It's nothing like that. I just figured… I mean have you ever stayed in a 5 star hotel? Just consider it a thank you for you know. Not taking me to my death? It will be my treat."

He didn't answer right away. It was true he'd probably never even stayed in a 4 star hotel let alone five. Still it didn't seem worth the risk. "How would we even get you inside?"

"They are used to rich people being weird. They won't think twice about you talking while I stay quiet with my face covered. It will be worth it. I promise. They have amazing room service so we can get food without going out. And private bedrooms so you could have some time without me in your hair."

"What about the other hotel? The one that's already booked?" 

"We just don't go? The GPS will say we are there so I doubt they will question it but if they do question and they do show up at that hotel we will be miles away. If anything call the hotel and tell them you can't make it but agree to pay for the room anyway. That way they won't call whoever booked the room."

He sighed. It seemed like a lot of effort but honestly it would be nice to sleep in a room without another human just a few feet away. Grabbing his phone and the itinerary before he could change his mind he called. The receptionist sounded completely bored with the whole thing.

"Pass me your phone, I'll get the GPS corrected." Stark said once he hung up. "Since the program is already made I will have to press a few options in the phone itself to get it connected."

"Yeah fine." He said focused more on wondering if he would grow to regret his choice or not as he passed the phone back to Stark.

Tony

Taking the offered phone he booted back up the laptop though this time he didn't wake Jarvis. He hadn't lied about making a program. He didn't even need to input anything to make the changes. Glancing at the front seat to be sure Mr. Dark and handsome wasn't paying attention he opened the phone and opened the call log. 

The most recent was 'Jess' he'd heard the end of that conversation yesterday. Next after that was 'Lawyer'. He'd heard that too in the car. This lawyer's apparent incompetent was his saving grace. He would have to find the man later and pay him to retire. Next was an unlisted number which would have to be the auction house. He'd heard that yesterday after getting tossed from the trunk. Was that only yesterday? It felt like a year had passed. 

After the calls he'd heard the rest of the listed 25 calls were mainly to Jess or Lawyer though there was one from a 'Carlos'. Tapping the keyboard to make it sound like he was working he clicked over to texts. It looked like they may have been cleared recently. There were 7 from Jess and 4 from Carlos. He moved to open the ones from Jess but the computer beeped, announcing it was completed. Quickly he closed out of the texts and passed the phone back up. "Congratulations Mr. Barnes. You are officially off the grid."

"I'm not sure I like you knowing my name." The man said, taking back his phone.

"You know mine." He countered.

"Somehow it feels like it's a bit different." The man said.

"Was that a joke!?" He covered the reactor in mock surprise. "The king of stoicism himself has jokes?"

"Fuck you, Stark. Fuck you." But even from the back he could see the edges of the man's lips turn up in a smile. 

"Look at that! A smile to?"

"Fuck! Has anyone ever told you that you're annoying?"

"Only everyone I've ever met who wasn't trying to get in my pants. Look at us, we may become friends after all."

The man's whole body tensed. He scoffed but didn't answer.

Well at least he knew where the line was now. Now he knew not to overstep it. When he had boundaries it was easier for him not to piss anyone off which meant no one would have reason to scream at him. So Barnes and Noble could talk and joke but they were not going to be friends. That was fair. 

He laid back trying to think how the fuck he was going to get the company back. He'd considered going straight to the media. But just like with the police he had no idea how far Obie's payroll spread. Even he could admit there were times the media should have shredded him but they didn't. Was that Obie's doing? When they got to the hotel he could write a code to infect the production factory. That would slow things down as they fixed it. R&D shouldn't be hard to drop either. He focused on the exact parameters of the virus. He wasn't sure how long he sat with his mind full of code before Barnes and Noble spoke.

"Going to need some directions."

"Right. What highway are we on?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Tony spend a night at the Ritz. Nothing goes to plan. These poor boys. They will figure it out eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

Bucky

As they pulled up the winding drive to the hotel his chest filled with anxiety. This was a terrible plan. How he had let Stark talk him into this? He should have stuck with the shitty hotel that was on the schedule. Stark sat up in the back seat. "Got any sunglasses?" He reached into the visor and pulled them out. Stark pulled the hood over his face and slipped on the sunglasses. He looked suspicious as fuck but at least he didn't look like Tony Stark.

He followed the street up to the front of the building. He had barely set the break when his door was opened. They'd been found! His heart leapt into his throat but the man at the door smiled. "Welcome Sir. Do you have any bags we can assist with?" He heard the back door open. He saw Stark climb out and pass off the laptop bag to the man who opened his door. He stood himself and grabbed his suitcase from the trunk. The man who let Stark out was hurrying over with a suitcase cart. 

Both men were dressed in black slacks with a white button down shirt and a black vest. The man who had opened his door held out a hand for his keys as well as a parking stub. He passed then over. Every beat of his heart seemed to whisper  _ bad idea bad idea.  _ He watched as the man pulled away with his car. There would be no fast get away now. 

Another man dressed the same as the first opened the front door for he and Stark to pass through. A man in a full suit stood behind the desk. "Good evening gentleman. How can I help you?" The man asked as they approached.

"We want the 3 bedroom resident suite or as close as they have." Tony whispered to him as they approached.

Three bedrooms? Whatever. "Yes sir, umm I was wondering if the 3 bedroom resident suite was available for today?"

"Certainly! And just for this one night?" He saw the man glance at Stark but if he thought Stark's outfit was odd he didn't comment.

"Yes sir. Could I get your driver's license please?"

He quickly passed the man his fake ID. After a moment it was slid back. "We will be paying in cash as well."

"Certainly." The man said without looking up from the monitor. "Here are your keys. Jared will show you to your room." He gestured to the valet who still stood behind them with the luggage cart.

Jared was very friendly if not entirely too talkative on the way to the room. He pointed out amenities that would have been wonderful if he wasn't on the fucking run. He used his own key to open their room. The room was beautiful. It wasn't really a room though, more like a whole damn house. The valet pushed the cart in and disappeared down a hallway to the right. 

Immediately to the left inside the door was an amazing kitchen with wood cabinets completed with a massive stainless steel gas stove, wine chiller, and a fridge that was definitely bigger than the one he had at home. He walked into the living area. An oversized couch sat facing a fireplace. There was an oval dining table with 6 seats. A wall of windows lead to a balcony that looked out over the pool and rolling hills covered with trees. Plush outdoor furniture was tucked under a lip in the roof so you could go outside even in the rain.

"Mulțumesc" he jumped as Stark spoke.  _ Thank you? _ He turned to see Stark passing the valet a bill that looked suspiciously like a $100. The man nodded and left shutting the door behind him. 

Once the door was closed Stark pulled off his hood and passed the sunglasses to him. "It's been awhile since I've stayed in this one and not the four bedroom but there should be two bedrooms that way," Stark pointed the hallway the valet had gone down, "each with a California King beds and their own bathrooms. And that way," he pointed through a door on the opposite wall, "should be a bedroom with two queen beds." 

"Do I even want to know why you'd be renting out places with so many rooms?" He asked with a smirk.

"Hey the rumors must all be true right? If it matters at all to you, I'm done with that lifestyle." Stark said as he disappeared down the hall.

He didn't know how much he really believed that. Hell TMZ  _ loved _ to report on Stark parties. While Stark was gone he wandered, exploring all the rooms. It was definitely the fanciest place he'd ever stayed, hell probably ever seen. And Stark lived this, had been born into this. Son of the famous Howard Stark he'd never had to work for anything. Not really. He had no idea what it was to wonder if he'd have money to eat the next day. No idea what it was like to bundle together through the winter because there was no money to get the furnace working. Stark didn't deserve any of it but he'd been born special and because of that he'd never had to want for anything.

Frustration built in his chest and he didn't feel like he could stay in the room anymore. Stalking out to the balcony he snapped the door shut. He dropped into one of the chairs which annoyingly was just as plush as the rest of the fucking room. The wind whispered through the protected balcony and he closed his eyes trying to push away the building anger. Birds sang from the nearby trees and voices drifted up from the pool but it didn't seem to do anything to calm the frustration. He'd struggled to even stay alive while Stark, the man who destroyed his life, had lived in fucking opulence just because of his parentage. 

This wasn't helping. He needed to go shower or something. Something to get his mind focused on anything else. He stomped back inside. Stark was sitting at the table. He'd changed back into the mostly destroyed tank top and boxers. The laptop sat open in front of him.

Moving over he snapped the laptop closed. "What the fuck are you doing?" He shouted, bending forward to put himself in Stark's face.

Tony lurched back so hard the seat toppled backwards and he barely managed to stand instead of going down with it. "Sorry. Sorry. I was going to work on the virus to shut down the manufacturing plant so they couldn't make any more weapons while I am trying to get this mess fixed. Sorry." Stark backed up as he spoke putting several feet of space between them. The sheer terror in the other man's face made the anger in his chest flicker and die. 

"Fine. Next time tell me." He managed though the words didn't hold any of the same heat. He turned and moved to the master bedroom and closed the door behind him. The room of course was beautiful, just like the rest of the fucking place but he couldn't enjoy it. The anger that had been boiling over just moments before was now replaced squarely with nausea. 

He took several slow breaths. He'd just startled the man, he decided. Stark hadn't been genuinely afraid, just very surprised. He tried for what felt like hours to force himself to believe that. After a solid ten minutes, he stood and crossed to the door. He would look out and Stark would be sitting and working again. It would be fine. He cracked open the door and peered down the hall.

Stark still stood exactly where he'd left him. Both hands were pulled up to his chest his right hand wringing his left. Even from this distance Stark looked like he might be shaking. Damn it! He shut the door and scrubbed at his face in frustration. His arm popped loudly sending shocks up his shoulder. He wanted to punch something. Break something. It wasn't supposed to  _ be like this _ . Stark had ruined his life, everything he'd built for himself. Stark should feel guilty not him. He crossed to the bathroom. It was huge and appeared to be floor to ceiling marble. He stripped, turned the shower to freezing, and stepped in. 

Slowly the frustration drained out of him. He turned the water to warm before he started to shiver. He wasn't going to apologize. Stark hadn't said a single word about ruining his life. Plenty of things Stark had done had made him scared. Hell he'd spent more than a month scared he would die alone in the hospital bed. If anything maybe they were somehow slightly more equal. 

He showered quickly. Drying off he ignored the robe and slippers, in spite of them probably being the softest things he'd ever touched, and pulled on his clothes. As he stepped out of the bedroom he was fully certain of his decision to say nothing to Stark. The fact the man bodily jerked in his chair when the door opened cracked that resolve. 

He stepped into the living room as Stark turned back to the laptop and began typing as if nothing had happened. "Hey?" Another twitch before Tony looked up at him. Jesus why the fuck did he have to look so freaked out? "Sorry for snapping at you." He mumbled lamely. "Just got a lot of my mind. Still shouldn't have."

"Yeah. Sure. Of course. It's fine. I should have said something before. You were just out there and I didn't think you'd want me to bug you. I'll.. I'll say something next time." The words practically spilled out in one breath. Why couldn't Stark have sounded more convincing?

"I'm not going to hurt you Stark." He said quietly.

"I'm just going to work on this for now." Stark's voice somehow sounded even more unstable. He closed his eyes. 

"Yeah okay." He sat on the couch. Stark remained deathly silent. He'd wanted quiet yesterday. Hell he'd yelled at Stark to shut up yesterday but today it felt oppressive. He hated to admit that talking to Stark had been interesting and engaging and now the silence stretched on. Why did he have to always fuck things up? He stretched out on the couch listening to the soft click of the keys as Tony worked. 

Ironically it was Stark's stomach that finally broke to silence, letting out a growl loud enough he could hear it from the couch. "Sounds like you're ready for dinner." He said, relieved to have  _ something _ to work off.

"It's okay. I need to work on this."

"Nah we both need to eat. You look about one missed meal away from keeling over. Any idea where the room service menu is?" He stood.

"On the bar." Tony pointed to the kitchen. 

He grabbed the menu and moved over to set it on the table. Stark jerked away from the sound of the menu hitting the table. For fucks sake. "I told you I'm not gonna hurt you, okay?" He asked pulling out a chair to sit so he was level with Stark. Stark didn't look at him or at the menu. His eyes continued to stare unfocused at the screen. Stark's eyes somehow managed to look both puffy and sunken. His face was still over thin his hair too long. The shadows of a healing bruises covered his left eye. The cuts on his face and neck looked less angry today but still stood in sharp contrast to the man's pale skin.

He was reminded as he really looked at the man, that Stark was supposedly lost in Afghanistan for months before now. Hell Stark had mentioned being captive in Afghanistan yesterday. And it didn't look like he'd even had time to clean up before he was fucking kidnapped by someone the media portrayed as his father figure. And now he was at the mercy of someone who was a complete stranger to him and who could at any time change his mind and take him to his death or lifelong slavery. So he'd just broken whatever trust he had with a man who was basically a damn POW.  _ Great fucking job asshole. _ He took a long breath. "Tony?" He tried the man's first name. It felt weird. He didn't like it. "Stop for a second." "Please." He added quickly.

Stark stopped typing immediately but continued to stare straight ahead. "Look at me?" He promoted. That took a lot longer but eventually the brown eyes met his.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped. I've got a lot going on but so do you. Just please know I'm not going to hurt you. Okay?"

"Wasn't your fault." Stark's eyes were back on the screen. "Shouldn't have started without saying anything." Tony continued quietly. 

"It is my fault Tony." Tony shook his head but he kept taking anyway. "I acted like an ass and I shouldn't have. Now come on, you need to find something to eat." He pushed the menu closer. 

"Not hungry." Tony mumbled. 

"You still need to eat. Pick something."

Tony picked up the menu and easily flipped to the 'All Day' section. He stared at the page. His eyes were still unfocused. As he watched a flicker of  _ something _ flashed over Stark's face. Stark's eyes glassed over. "Excuse me." Tony stood sharply, crossed the room and closed the bedroom door behind himself with a snap, but not before a broken sob slipped from his chest. 

"Fuck!" He hissed running a hand over his face. What the fuck was he even supposed to do with that? He pulled the laptop around to look at the screen. Lines and lines of code filled the monitor. It all looked like gibberish to him. He grabbed the menu and stalked over to the couch. He read through it twice without actually seeing anything. Halfway through the third time Tony's bedroom door opened and the man stepped out. 

"Sorry about that!" Stark said in a voice that sounded falsely chipper. "Realized I hadn't hung up my clothes to dry." Stark crossed over and sat back at the table. He stood and sat back at the table as well. Tony's eyes were red-rimmed and the smile was almost painfully fake. He didn't try to press, instead just sliding the menu back over. Tony took it easily and thumbed through. "Did you figure out what you wanted?" Stark asked.

"It all sounds good." He said honestly, eyes still searching Stark's face. "You've been here before, what do you suggest?"

"You can't go wrong with any of it. Really depends on what you're into."

"I've never had anything this fancy." He admitted. "More a hamburger kinda guy."

"We could…" Tony started then immediately closed his mouth.

"Could what?" He pressed.

"Nothing. Sorry."

"Tony you can't just not talk to me."

"No. It was a stupid idea."

He scoffed. "Pretty sure stupid for you is still smarter than an average day for me."

Tony turned the page and took a slow breath before saying all in a rush. "Was gonna say we can order several things so you can try it since you haven't before."

"Do we have the money to be doing stuff like that?" He asked honestly.

"I mean I pulled out about 150 thousand so yeah it's fine." 

He coughed. "How much?!" Stark froze and he realized he'd said that way louder than he'd intended. "Sorry. How much?" He repeated more quietly.

"$150,000?" Stark sounded nervous again. 

"Hey. Hey. I'm not mad. I just don't think I've had that kind of money across my whole life. And definitely not all at once."

"I...I can give you some?" Why did he have to sound so fucking hopeful? "Whatever you need? Just tell me and I can--"

"Tony." He spoke and the other man stopped. Tony's expression was some horrible mix between hopeful and scared as he waited. He closed his eyes. He wasn't a fucking shrink. How did he end up having to try to fix a broken billionaire when he could barely keep his own sorry life in check. "How about we just do your idea with the food okay?" 

Tony blinked a moment then nodded. "Yeah. Okay."

"So, what do you suggest? I'm trusting you on this cause I'm pretty sure I've never had anything like this before."

"Do… Do you want to just to entrees or appetizers too?

"Let's just do entrees unless you know a really amazing appetizer. No reason to full up on little stuff."

Tony nodded. "Okay so maybe the surf and turf, the filet mignon, lamb loin, and the halibut?"

"Sure, sounds good." Tony seemed to visibly relax at his words. "Any anything to drink?" He asked.

Tony looked at the menu for a long time. "Yeah, but I'm okay. You can drink if you want to but I'm not. I can't. Not anymore."

He frowned not really sure how to answer. "That's fine." He said finally before standing and placing the order. 

"Am I okay to…" Tony trailed off, as he pulled the computer back to face him.

"Yeah. Go for it." He walked back over the couch and laid down.

When the knock came thirty minutes later Stark lurched up and darted into the bedroom. He waited for the bedroom door to close behind Tony before he answered the door. "Good evening sir." A man dressed in a suit stood behind a silver cart. "May I come in?"

"Please." He said, stepping away from the door. The man pushed the cart into the room.

"Where would you like everything?"

"Table's fine." He said.

"Certainly." The man quickly unloaded everything into the table. He grabbed the money Tony had left out and paid the man.

"Thank you sir. Have a wonderful evening."

Once the door was closed for several minutes he called. "All clear."

Tony appeared moments later. It was odd how young he looked when he wasn't dressed in a suit and tie and standing before a crowd on TV. "It all smells amazing." He said.

Tony sat in the end seat across from his laptop. He took a corner seat so they didn't have to shove food back and forth. It meant if they moved just right their knees would bump but they both were turned so it was fine. "Anything I should try first?" He asked as Tony carefully lifted the domes off each plate.

"Have you had lobster before?" Tony asked. He shook his head. "Definitely that first. Tony picked up what had to be the strangest fork he'd ever seen and picking up the lobster tail he slid the fork under and a moment later the flesh slipped away from the shell all on one piece. Cutting some with the fork he passed it over. "Dip it in the butter first." Tony prompted before cutting into the steak.

He was surprised by the flavor. He hadn't really known what to expect but it was good. Tony pointed out a piece of steak which he tried next. It was amazing. By the time he'd tried a bite of everything he paused to say, "You had a really good idea." The smile that spread across Tony's face was the first genuine smile since he'd snapped at the man.

They were almost silent the rest of the meal. He was honestly surprised that the lamb came out as a favorite even over the steak. While the lobster tasted good it was his least favorite out of everything. Tony was more than happy to polish off the rest of the lobster. He picked at the sides to try them but mostly they were left untouched. Tony ate through all the asparagus and herb potato puree. 

"Holy fuck I'm full." He leaned back in his chair fairly confident one more bite might make his stomach burst. "Where are you even still putting that?" He asked as Tony took another bite of the halibut.

"Hollow leg." Tony said with a wink, as he shifted to cut another piece of ribeye. Tony's knee bumped into his but he ignored it. He could move but honestly he was too stuffed to care. And at least Tony seemed back to normal. The warmth of Tony's knee soaked into his leg. He would never admit out loud it was almost comforting. Hell how long had it been since he'd had any contact with any human? More than a year. Maybe closer to two. He shook his head and stood. Didn't matter how long it had been that person wasn't going to be Tony Stark. 

He managed to walk over to the couch and drop heavily. Tony ate for another ten minutes before speaking. "Gonna take this out unless you want anything else."

"Nah. If I gotta go death by expressive food is probably the best way but not today."

Tony laughed. "No. Best way is during sex."

"I don't know man, that was pretty amazing."

Tony snorted. "If that's better than sex you definitely haven't been having the right sex." 

"So what is that virus gonna do?" He asked when Tony returned to sit at the laptop.

"If I am able to code it correctly it should completely destroy the machining equipment there while also erasing all the digital copies of the weapons. I think they probably have paper schematics too but this will at least slow them down."

He nodded. "If they try to call my phone and it gets routed to the cops will I know?"

"Not on your phone but I can check."

"Would you check now?"

"J?" Tony spoke.

"No calls have been completed thus far."

He hesitated. "Is that AI always watching."

"And listening." The voice sounded strangely cold when it answered. 

"Only when the laptop is on." Tony said quickly. "I mute him if--"

"No it's okay. Just wondering." He said. "I'm probably going to go to bed unless you need anything?"

"Nope. See you in the morning."

He hadn't planned to actually go to sleep. Just lay in bed and watch TV in there so he didn't bother Tony. He stripped, stretched out, turned on the TV, and then the sun was shining through the windows. He blinked and rubbed his face. The clock read 7:32 a.m. He didn't normally wake up that late. When he'd come home from his tour he'd been up every day at 4:30. He'd managed to push it back to 5:30 before the explosion. Since then he'd never really slept past 6. 

He stood and stretched moving to look out the window. It really was beautiful there. He was on his way to the shower when he heard Tony talking in the living room. He froze. Was he just talking to Jarvis? He didn't hear the AI reply. Ice ran through his veins. Had Tony gotten a cell phone? Or maybe used the computer to make a call somehow. He carefully opened the door and peered down the hall. Tony was sitting at the table, exactly where he'd left him talking animated. He didn't see a cell phone but he wasn't hearing Jarvis answer either. 

Still he didn't want to come rushing out and give the man another panic attack like yesterday. Making up his mind he moved easily into the room and keeping his tone light spoke. "Tony! Who are you talking to?"

Tony still jumped but it looked to be in surprise more than terror. "Myself? I guess? Jarvis was getting annoying so I muted…" Tony's finally turned to look at him and stopped his eyes tracking down then back up his body. In his haste to insure Tony wasn't ratting them out he hadn't gotten dressed. "Look at you." Stark practically fucking purred.

He moved to put the bar between them effectively blocking off most of Tony's view, not that it was anything worth looking at anymore. After the blast he'd tried to keep up with his training regiment but as the arm became increasingly problematic he'd had to mostly stop. He wasn't fat by any stretch of the word but he definitely wasn't as cut as he'd once been.

"Did you not sleep?" He asked, registering the espresso cups scattered around the laptop.

"Wait did you just wake up? J unmute. What time is it?"

"7:35 sir."

Tony made a noise of disgust. "Why are you awake? What a horrible time to be awake. Whoever invented the hours before noon should be shot."

"You're up." He pointed out, stopping Tony.

"Doesn't count. Only horrible if you actually slept. Why  _ are _ you awake?" Tony had resumed typing as he spoke.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Hmm?" Tony paused to look at him again. "What question?"

"I thought the whole reason we are staying here is so you had a real bed. Did you not sleep?"

"No. The reason we stayed here is I figured you'd like some privacy and I wanted somewhere with real coffee."

"Mr. Stark has not slept, Sergeant Barnes."

He froze midway through figuring out the espresso machine as Jarvis spoke. "Mr. is fine, Jarvis." He managed quietly. 

"Noted sir." Jarvis said cooly. 

He turned and retreated back to the bedroom. His heart pounded in his chest. As anxiety licked through his chest he reasoned that Jarvis of course would have no way how much the title hurt. Hell maybe he did. He'd sounded so cold since he'd snapped at Tony yesterday. How the fuck could an AI sound cold?

A whir and three loud pops pulled him out of his thoughts just in time for a spike of pain to stab into his shoulder. Growing up he'd loved taking things apart and building them again. He'd always thought he'd do something with it. But every time the career counselor would come she'd sit and listen to his ideas then look over his grades and ask, "Have you considered the military?" It made sense really, he'd never been good in school. Wasn't smart enough to understand the lessons. By highschool he'd stopped caring. 

The day he'd graduated he'd joined up. He remembered how proud he'd been making it to Sergeant. There'd been talk of him moving higher before the explosion. 

They'd welcomed him back after, allowed him to pick up where he left off until the arm's malfunctions nearly cost his new squad their lives. Medical discharge had felt like a death sentence.

He forced himself to focus on showering and dressing. By the time he was done he at least felt more human. Tony was leaning back talking again but this time Jarvis answered. "Perfect timing! Look Jarvis was able to cut in the feed. Want to watch everything break?" Curious he crossed to the table and stood behind Tony. The video was actually more than a dozen security feeds broken into different screens. The factory was huge, full of machines he'd never seen before, probably custom made. "Ready?" Tony asked and at his prompt Tony leaned forward and tapped the enter key.

The effect was instant.. The conveyor belts froze and then the machines ground to a stop. "Thought about trying to burn it down but didn't want to cause anyone to get hurt." Tony said quietly. But the damage should stop any production for a least a month. J will continue to reinfect the machines as they come back online." Tony stood, wandering into the kitchen. "Keep those feeds live J, I want to know who they bring in."

He watched as people scrambled on screen, rushing to the various machines with plugs and laptops. A strange tickle of anxiety whispered through his mind. His eyes searched the screens until he realized why. A man was standing, hands on his hips, staring straight into the camera. "Uhh Tony?"

"Sir. Mr. Stane appears to be trying to speak with you."

"What? Pull the feed volume on."

"-ur behind this Tony. And trust me, when I find out where you are I will hunt you down and kill you myself. I knew keeping you alive was too much of a risk. Keep your eyes open. I'm coming for you." And then the man was gone. Jarvis tracked his progress through the plant and into the parking lot.

He spun to look at Tony. "How did he know it was you? Did you leave something in there that he could trace?!"

Tony waved his hand dismissively. "I didn't leave anything. He's just being paranoid. Granted rightly so in this situation but--"

"Tony I’m serious! I've got a… I've got people who rely on me and I can't let them get caught up in this!" 

Tony's hand dropped. "No. Nothing in there is traceable. He just knows I am the only one who could write a virus that effective." He said his tone serious. 

"Okay good. I want to help you but I--"

"The first call to Mr. Barnes phone has routed to the police sir." Jarvis spoke.

"Play it." Tony practically grinned at him.

The computer rang once then clicked. Before the officer could even speak Brent was shouting. "Where the fuck are you and what the fuck is going on?!"

"Sir, I believe you have the wrong number. This is." 

The line went dead. Tony spoke "Now he's checking the number, making sure he called the right number and…"

"Second call registered sir." 

"Play it."

Brent's voice immediately started, "Davis?" 

"Sir this is Captain Stevens, Miami police, who exactly are you trying to reach?" 

The line went dead. Tony laughed and he couldn't help but join in.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck that hurts." Tony said as laughter continued to shake his form both hands moved up to his chest. Tony's laughter faded into sudden silence both hands clutching at his chest, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

He took a few breaths until his own laughter subsided. "Does that thing really hurt?" He asked. "The reactor."

Tony nodded but didn't try to speak. Tony pulled his shirt off and prodded around the reactor with shaking fingers. "I'm… Not bleeding am I?" He asked coming around the bar. 

He frowned and walked over to Tony. His eyes carefully scanned the reactor. He didn't see… Maybe? He reached out and Tony jerked back. He still managed to swipe his finger along the underside if the reactor. It came back wet but not bloody. He held up to show Tony. 

"Fuck." Tony mumbled. "Do you...I need a flashlight." 

"I've got a mini mag." He crossed to the bedroom and rummaged through his bag before producing the light. He returned to where Tony leaned against the bar. When he tired to hand it off Tony shook his head. "Going to need your help."

Tony took several shaky breaths. "Is it still hurting that bad?" He asked. Tony shook his head but didn't answer. Reaching up Tony tried to do something but his hands still shook. Tony dropped his hands, rubbing at his left wrist with his right hand before trying again. "You need help?" He asked as Tony tried a third attempt at whatever he was doing.

"I need to sit down." Tony said. 

His eyes moved from the reactor to Tony's face which had gone so white he looked like he was seconds away from passing out. "Shit." He grabbed Tony's arm and helped him into the bar stool. Tony's head dropped back and he tried a fourth time.

"I'm sorry. I can't. I just. You. And. I can't." Tony babbled as he let his hands fall.

"What do I need to do?"

Stark's eyes held his for several long moments before the man spoke again. "Put your fingers on the reactor. Press in gently then turn counter clockwise." In spite of Tony telling him to do it when his fingers touched the reactor Tony's breath hitched. He glanced up at Stark's face. The man looked even more terrified than he had the night before. Fuck. Could he just go one day with traumatizing the man? He carefully turned and was surprised when the reactor began to basically unscrew. 

Stark's hands shot up pushing his away and carefully he eased the reactor free. "Damn." He breathed, watching as Tony cradled the small device in his palm. 

"Look…in...for blood." Stark said haltingly. 

He clicked on the mag and turned his attention back to Tony's chest. "Fuck." He felt his stomach churn. He'd thought the reactor sat an inch at most into the man's chest but behind it was a metal cylinder that had to go halfway through Tony's chest. The cylinder appeared sealed and something glittered down at the back. "Am I able to touch? There's some kind of liquid, it's by the surface. Tony didn't speak but his chin dipped in a shaky nod.

He carefully reached out and wiped a finger just inside the rim of the metal housing. "I think it's just water." He said quietly. Tony grabbed a roll of paper towels from the other side of the bar and snapped them down on the bar next to them wordlessly. "You want?" Another sharp nod answered before he finished talking. 

Cautiously he wiped away the water from inside the reactor. As soon as he said done Tony slammed the reactor back in, turned it, lept off the bar stool and shot down the hall. He could hear the man wrenching. 

He didn't toss the paper towels in case Stark needed then for something. Instead he crossed to the table to collect up the espresso cups. "Any other calls to my phone?" He tentatively asked the laptop.

"No, sir." Jarvis answered.

It was a solid ten minutes before he heard the toilet flush in the other room and the sound of the sink running. When Stark reappear he looked more green than pale. "You good?" He asked.

Tony gave him a thumbs up as he crossed to the couch and collapsed. After several long minutes in the quiet he excused himself to pack.

Almost as soon as his door closed he could hear Tony speak. He cracked the door open to listen. "J I thought we were water tight?"

"All previous scans indicated integrity at 100%. I believe that the water might have been left over from when the previous version leaked."

Tony didn't reply. He finished packing and wandered back into the living room. He thought at first maybe Tony had finally fallen asleep but as he entered the room the brown eyes popped open.

"Want to get breakfast or should we just check out?" He asked. 

"I'm not hungry." Tony said quietly.

"Pack up then. I would rather be back on the road now."

Tony was oddly compliant, wandering over to pack up the laptop without talking. He almost asked if the man was okay but stopped himself. The quiet was good. They weren't friends he was just stuck with Stark until the man could pay him back. That was all. Stark pulled his hoodie back on and grabbed the sunglasses off the bar. Check out and getting the car back from valet was painless enough even if his heart stopped a bit at the total cost of their one night stay. Still he felt immensely better to be back on the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Bucky arrive at their destination. Then Bucky freaks Tony out...again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

Tony

He closed his eyes and curled up with the blanket as soon as they were on the car. He still felt weak and his hands were shaking. He'd let Barnes know how to remove the fucking reactor. What was wrong with him? He'd basically just given the secret to a clean easy murder away to a man who he been sure was going to beat the shit out of him yesterday. His heart still jumped at the memory. It was his fault, he should have told Barnes what he was doing but still the fear felt so fresh. 

He forced himself to breathe. At least the reactor didn't have blood in it. He was pretty sure that was a sign he was going to die. Anxiety sung through his veins powered on by the extreme amount of caffeine he'd had the night before. His chest hurt. The memory of how it had felt when Barnes had cleaned it out made him stomach churn dangerously. The pressure against the housing pushing into his skin with each swipe of the paper towel. A coughing fit flared up as he struggled not to puke. "You okay?" Barnes asked.

"Yeah." He managed to croak out. And now who knows where he was going? Maybe Barnes would change his mind, take him back to the seller. Pass him off. No. He still had use to Barnes. If he had use he was safe. He needed help with something. Something legal. Or since the man knew how much he'd taken from the ATM maybe Barnes would just take that and leave him. Use the money to get a lawyer himself.

He needed something to do. Something for his fingers to work on. His leg bounced on the seat his fingers picking at the blanket but it did nothing to quiet the stream of thought pounding through his head. The seat felt smaller and smaller, the sides of the car felt like a trap closing in. He was distantly aware of a soft whimper slipping unbidden from his lips. He needed to  _ move. _ His hands scrubbed up and down his arms in sharp shaky movements. "Stark!" Barnes voice made him jump. "Breathe."

As if his lungs had simply been waiting for the suggestion he pulled in a massive gulp of air. His chest heaved as he struggled to get enough Oxygen into his shaking limbs. After the fourth tight breath Barnes spoke again. "So I have a question."

"W--" he tried then pulled in another breath. "What's that?"

"How did the son of Howard 'Nazi killer' Stark get into robotics?"

"I...what?" Out of all the thousands of questions he could have expected Barnes to ask that definitely wasn't one of them. 

"You heard me." Barnes said and he could hear the smirk in the man's tone.

"Because I hated my father and wanted to ruin his company." He knew that answer. Howard had been kind enough to beat it into his mind.

Barnes snorted. "Okay, and the real reason?"

"I...I spent a lot of time in Howard's shop. I wanted to know how everything worked. When I was four I built my first circuit board without his help. After that Howard said if I wanted toys I could make them. The first thing I remember building was a little remote control car. I think that's when it started."

"So if you've loved robotics since you were four, why make weapons?"

That felt like a trap question. One the media would ask before dragging him through the mud again. Not that he cared anymore. It had happened so many times he felt numb to it. Pepper still cared…had still cared. He closed his eyes against those thoughts. He remained silent. He expected Barnes to snap or push but as the seconds stretched into minutes it seemed as though he didn't have to answer.

Why hadn't he made robots instead? He'd wanted to sure. It was why after Howard died he'd spent so long doing anything but coming to his father's business. The media had called him 'the prodigal son' when he'd finally taken over the company. 

Obie had been the one to talk him into it. Long nights in the lab, hours over the phone, Obie had slowly filled the void left by his parents passing. He'd been promised that he didn't have to just make weapons. That's when R&D had expanded. He'd helped personally invent or fund new cancer treatments, better crops, water purifiers, well technology, more advanced prosthetics, the list went on and on. Not that it mattered. Stark industries made weapons. Always had. Always would. It's all the media cared about and it was all the public cared about.

He opened his eyes and stared up at the grey roof of the car.  _ This is your legacy, Stark.  _ He closed his eyes again, pushing away Yinsen's voice. 

"How much longer?" He asked quietly.

"6 hours, give or take. Maybe you should try to sleep."

He didn't bother answering. Instead he turned his mind to the dilemma of how to get the company back. He would wait, see if Obie would slip up. Hopefully he had some time. He began to mentally run through some of the ideas he'd had for improving the reactor. With some modifications it was reasonable that he could use the idea for a clean energy initiative. 

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he hardly noticed the food that was passed to him. He ate absently as he continued to think over the numbers. At one point Barnes turned the music up. "Can you leave that on?" He called over the intro to a song. While he didn't mind the quiet, music always had help him think. His mind returned to mulling over how to jump starting the rotations without killing the entire city's power grid.

He was working over a potential weak spot in the wiring when the music cut off. The car felt deathly silent. "Hey!" He said indignantly.

"We are here." Barnes said into the quiet. His heart jumped in his chest and without thinking he reached up and tried to open the door. Of course it was still locked from the outside. Sitting up just enough to see over the edge of the door he stopped froze. There were no abandoned warehouses here. In fact all he saw were trees. Was 'here' in a forest? 

As the panic subsided he recognized the road they were on was gravel not paved. Had Barnes actually bought him to his home? The question was answered almost immediately when the trees which had been tightly hugging the road opened wide to reveal a house tucked into a clearing.

Barnes and Noble stepped out of the car and opened his door. He clambered out of the car and looked at the house. It was made of grey stone with a darker roof to match. On the right end a rounded section looked almost turret like. Windows with antique wooden shutters dappled the front of the house. The turret section seemed to be made almost completely of windows which flattened out the round shape. A large wooden double front door stood waiting up a flower lined path. The house looked like it was made by hand. It was old, too old to have been built by Barnes. Maybe his father? Or his Grandfather? 

Something brushed his hand and he jumped. Barnes was passing him the laptop bag. He followed the man hesitantly up the path. Barnes unlocked the front door and stepped inside. The front door opened into a modestly sized living room. A plush couch and armchair sat facing a fireplace with a TV mounted above the mantel. The fireplace was straddled by two massive built in bookcases. One held mostly books while the other housed pictures. 

Across the room the back wall of the house was mostly glass giving a clear view of a well tended yard that backed into the forest. What looked like a metal garage sat just visible through the windows. A table sat in front of the windows, with chairs so someone could sit and watch the nature outside. To the right a bar separated the living room from the kitchen. He could see just past the kitchen a breakfast nook occupied the turreted area.

To the left of the dining area was a hallway, presumably leading to the bedroom or rooms. Another door stood open enough to show a small bathroom. 

Barnes eased past him and down the hallway. He crossed the room and set the laptop bag down on the table in front of the wall of windows. Using his location he peered down the hall but didn't see Barnes. He did see at least three doors. Hopefully at least one was a guest bedroom. Though honestly he did sleep best on a sofa anyway. He crossed the room, running his hands over the back of the couch. It felt comfortable enough. His eyes drifted to the pictures. He frames we simple, something easily picked up at Walmart. He moved over to look. One in particular, right at eye level caught his attention. Carefully he picked up the frame. It showed Barnes, smiling happily, still with two flesh arms. Next to him a delicate woman with pale skin and long curly brown hair. Tucked tightly in Barnes arms a child, probably no older than one grinned at the camera. Barnes had a family. Based on the silence in the house he guessed they weren't here now. Would they be coming back? Was this why Barnes needed legal help?

"Put it down." Barnes voice cut through his thoughts. Rage laced every word. Ice slammed through his veins. He knew that tone, knew what followed. Panic surged through him.

"Sorry." He scrambled to put the frame up on the shelf. His hands shook hard enough the frame slipped through his fingers. With a tinkling smash the glass of the frame shattered on the floor. "Shit! Sorry. I'll get it." Carefully he withdrew the picture and set it out of the way before moving to collect the glass. "Sorry. Sorry." He could hear the words repeating from his lips as he collected the broken glass. It cut his fingers, the blood making it hard to pick up the pieces. 

He was suddenly aware of Barnes form looming over him. "Sorry. Just a bit more."

"Stop." He froze. Sudden movement at his side made him recoil, bringing the hand not currently full of glass up to cover his face from whatever was coming. He sat still, eyes closed, waiting. "Give me the glass Tony." Barnes sounded closer than he'd expected and his eyes snapped open in his panic to see what was coming. 

Barnes had knelt next to him, metal arm extended, palm out and waiting. He passed the glass over. "Go wash your hand. I'll get this." 

He hesitated. Was this a test? "It's my fault. I should clean it up."

"Tony. You're bleeding. Go wash your hands." Barnes said firmly.

That made sense. He was making a bigger mess now, of course Barnes wouldn't want him dripping blood everywhere. He stood, clutching his bleeding hand over his chest and darted through the open bathroom door, closing it behind himself. 

Bucky

Having someone in his home again after more than a year alone felt strange. Maybe not even a bad strange but definitely strange. He left Stark alone in the entryway to put up how suitcase. He tossed all his clothes in the laundry and returned his toiletries to the bathroom before turning back to the living room.

He froze in the archway. Stark's back was to him. In his hand was the first and last professional picture they had all taken as a family. Pushing back the knee jerk reaction to shout he spoke firmly. "Put it down." 

Stark jumped like he'd been slapped. "Sorry." Stark said his voice tight. As he moved to put the picture back on the shelf, the corner of the frame caught the shelf edge and the picture fell. With a smash the glass frame shattered. "Shit! Sorry I'll get it." Tony dropped to his knees carefully pulling the picture from the frame and setting it aside.

"Just wait I'll get the broom." He said, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. The frame wasn't expensive. He was pretty sure it had come from Dollar Tree. He crossed into the kitchen and grabbed the broom and pan. 

Walking back into the kitchen he saw Stark still on his knees. He was picking up pieces of the broken glass. His fingers and palm bled but if Stark noticed he didn't seem to care. A constant litany of apologies poured from Stark's mouth as he worked. Any frustration or anger he'd felt melted away.

He set aside the broom and dustpan before crossing to stand next to Stark. "Sorry. Just a bit more." Tony said quietly in spite of the fact the floor was still covered in glass.

"Stop." He said keeping his tone firm. He moved to kneel next to Tony. The man's hand jerked up to guard his face as he curled in on himself. Jesus, what the fuck had happened to him? How much did someone have to go through and for how long to get such an intense conditioned response? "Give me the glass Tony." He said keeping the same calm firmness, extending his metal hand out to Tony.

Tony's eyes snapped open, wide with panic. Tony's eyes searched his face and down to his hand then back up. Carefully he passed the glass over. "Go wash your hands. I'll get this." He said gently.

Tony's eyes searched his face. Finally he spoke. "It's my fault. I should clean up." 

He closed his eyes. Frustration was blooming in his chest again, this time directed at whoever the fuck had managed to mess with the other man's head this bad. He pushed the feelings away. "Tony. You're bleeding. Go wash your hands."

That seemed to do it. After only a moment Tony stood and shot across to the bathroom. The door closed behind him and a moment later he heard running water. He tossed the bloody pieces of glass into the trash before carefully sweeping up the rest. He grabbed some sanitizing wipes and cleaned the blood. Finally he picked up the picture, leaning it on one of the other frames.

The water was still running in the bathroom. He stood and walked to the door. "Tony, unless you tell me not to I'm going to come in." Silence greeted him so he pulled open the door. Tony still stood at the sink, the water running pink as his hands still bled. 

He tried to ignore the way Stark flinched away as he opened the door. He held up both hands placatingly. "Tony, I'm not going to hurt you remember?" He could practically see Tony's mind working as he watched him. Stark's hands remained over the sink but no longer in the water and he could see great red drops of blood still welling from the various cuts. 

Slowly Tony straightened and returned his hands to the flow of water. Tony moved carefully back to stand in front of the sink even though it crowded them close together. "Scoot over." He said leaning towards Tony so the other man knew to back up.

He opened the bathroom counter and pulled out a first aid kit. Digging through till he found tweezers he turned to face Stark. "Hands. Let me see them." He said firmly. Tony watched him. When he'd moved he'd folded both hands nervously over the reactor. "Come on." He coaxed. "Need to check for glass."

Tony very cautiously held out his hands palms up. He lifted the metal hand carefully holding the back of Tony's right hand. His fingertips were still trying to well up blood but it was definitely slower. He turned Tony's hand in the light and caught a glint from the tip of his middle finger. "Be still." He said even though Stark hadn't moved since he'd taken hold of his hand.

Carefully he was able to work the glass out without starting more bleeding. Tony's thumb had a fairly large piece that he didn't even need light to see. Once it too was out he rolled Stark's hand until he was confident he didn't see any further light. He closed his eyes and carefully ran the pad of his thumb over Tony's fingers but nothing sharp caught him. When he opened his eyes Tony was staring at his hand.

He let the metal hand fall away. "Other hand" he said calmly. Tony offered his left hand easily. He carefully removed a few pieces of the fractured glass. As he worked he felt the heat of Tony's hand slowly warming the metal of his palm. He realized that unlike with his right where Tony had been careful to keep their hands from touching, Tony's left hand was cradled easily in his metal hand. 

Tony's hand lifted a fraction of an inch of his palm a moment before the other man spoke. "Sorry about the picture." 

"The picture isn't damaged. The frame was from Dollar Tree. No big loss."

Tony nodded. "They look really nice? Your family?" Tony asked hesitantly.

"Drop it Stark." Tony nodded quickly.

"Sorry." Tony said quickly.

"It's okay. Just be still" Stark nodded.

Slowly Tony's hand lowered until it rested back in his palm. He cleared out the last piece he could see before focusing on running his thumb over Tony's palm. The other man had a surprising number of calluses. He'd always assumed Stark was the idea man, smart but never one to really get his hands dirty. Seeing the massive shop on the video feed made him realize that was probably wrong. 

His finger caught something hard at the base Tony's thumb. He moved the tweezers over the area but whatever it was seemed deep. He couldn't find a cut either. "What's this?" Tony frowned before running the pinkie of his left hand over the area. 

"Shrapnel." 

"Shrapnel? Was that from Afghanistan?" He asked. Stark nodded but didn't provide any details. After another final check over he let his hand fall. "Let me see both hands?"

He rummaged through the first aid kit and grabbed some Neosporin and a Qtip. Quickly he applied the gel to the larger cuts. "No more playing with glass okay?" He said as he tucked away the supplies back under the counter.

"If I can't touch glass how will I get ready for the ball?" Stark said with a smirk.

"You'll just have to be a pretty princess with no glass slippers." He said. Tony snorted before following him out of the bathroom. 

Tony sat at the table that sat against the back wall of windows. He and Jess had playfully argued if it should be called a bar or a table. It was tall enough that it used bar stools but also the same length and depth as a regular kitchen table. He expected Tony to immediately pull out the laptop but instead he sat still, watching out the back. 

Being around Tony had been strange enough but having Tony in his space was even stranger. His arm popped loudly. Without turning his eyes away from the window Tony said, "offer still stands." He didn't bother answering. He knew Tony could fix whatever the fuck was wrong with it. Fuck he knew that not letting Tony fix it was only hurting him but damn it the man should have done it properly to begin with. If Stark had just made it right he would still be in the military and maybe his life wouldn't have exploded onto pieces. Still something that was a mix of stubbornness and probably more than a little pride kept him from agreeing.

He wandered about the house, starting laundry, cleaning, checking the fridge, just generally trying to do anything to distract from his now eerily quiet house guest. He needed to go to the store which would involve leaving Stark alone or bringing him along. While he didn't live in a tiny town he was confident people would notice someone like Stark walking around. 

"I need to go to the store." He said. Tony jumped a bit and turned to look. He realized the other man had been completely lost in thought. 

Blinking Tony nodded. "If I send you with money can you grab a few things for me? And can you either give me your address or type it yourself if you don't want me to know? I need to get some clothes sent this way too."

"Yeah, write what you need and I'll give you the address when I get back."

Stark nodded. He passed the man a pen and paper. The items on the list were unremarkable, toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream. He found himself distracted by Tony's handwriting. It was surprisingly neat in spite of the speed which he wrote. 

"Okay I'll be back in a bit." He said after Stark passed the list over. "No breaking things while I'm gone." He said careful to keep his tone easy.

"Yes dear." Tony smirked before pulling his laptop out of the case.

He took a slow breath and turned, leaving the house.

Tony

He relaxed as the lock clicked behind him. Pulling out the laptop he quickly plugged it in. "Hey Jarvis, you awake?" He asked as he opened the laptop.

"Always for you sir." Jarvis said.

"I need clothes."

"Are we to expect another scandalous video sir?" Jarvis asked, the words clearly a joke. He couldn't help the laugh that slipped from his lips. "Shall I prepare an order from your usual shops sir?"

"Yeah. I'll give you the shipping address as soon as I can."

"Very good sir."

"Hey Jarvis, how much do you know about Mr. Barnes?"

"A fair bit. The media coverage around him and prosthetic zero was fairly comprehensive."

"Got a first name?" He asked.

"His name is James Buchanan Barnes sir." He nodded, eyes back at the door where the other man had exited.

"Family?"

"Parents dead. Two sisters, Christina and Bethany, both younger--"

"How old is he?" He asked, cutting across Jarvis.

"34 sir." He was younger then. 

"He also has a wife named Jessica and a daughter Remi Jane Barnes"

He nodded eyes glancing back to the bookcase.

"Where are you now sir?" Jarvis sounded worried.

"I think we are out of California but I don't know much. Hopefully safely out of Obie's grasp for now. Where is Obie?"

"Mr. Stane left early this morning via plane 3. There are no logs of his intended destination and I am unable to track the plane personally without hardware changes." 

"Got it. Keep me in the loop." He said calmly. "Show me everything that's left on Stark servers involving weapons."

He was pleased to find very little was left. Some modifications to the original virus should remove from rest. Typing wasn't the most comfortable with the small cuts on the tips of his right hand. Still he'd worked with broken fingers before so this was doable.

His mind drifted back to the bathroom as he worked. He'd been completely sure the man was there to punch him now that the damage had been cleaned. Instead Barnes, James?, had held his hands and removed the glass. 

At first he'd still been waiting for the bomb to drop but then as the under man's fingers had trailed over his palm and concern he'd been holding melted. It should be harder, he knew, to have something feel  _ that _ good but honestly when was the last time he'd had casual physical contact with someone? Probably Pepper. She always tried to keep things professional but there had been a few times when he was completely unable to wind down she would sit on the couch and let him lean on her while she ran her fingers over his back. If she was ever asked, he was confident she'd deny it which was fine. 

When James had started on his left hand he'd let his hand drop to the other man's palm. He'd known what he was building when he'd made the arm, knew at some point it would simply become part of the unknown soldier he'd made it for, but to feel it moving under his hand had been amazing. In spite of whatever he'd done to fuck up the internal workings he'd melded with the arm perfectly. If he hadn't been still recovering from freaking out it will have been incredibly sexy to feel the subtle movements as the metal hand had guided his own hand and to feel it slowly warm under his hand.

He firmly pushed away the thoughts of other ways he could warm that hand. Maybe later when the other man had gone to bed he could enjoy those thoughts. Right now he needed to focus.

Still he couldn't deny the soft tingle in both hands where Barnes had run his fingers. The door opening made him jump from his thoughts. James had returned, shopping bags in hand. "Need help?" He asked, wondering if he really was seeing relief on the other man's face. 

"Take these to the kitchen?" 

He hopped up and grabbed the bags, definitely not going out of his way to insure his fingers brushed over James as he moved. He bags hurt as they dug into his palm but the kitchen wasn't exactly far. He was able to handle it easily enough.

He began to unpack as James appeared with the rest of the bags. "Get any work done while I was gone?" James asked, eyeing the open laptop.

"There are a few protected servers with weapons plans still on them. I'm working on a code to erase them too."

James eyes looked over the lines of code he'd tossed together but didn't comment. He left the food out for James to put away since he had no clue where anything went. Instead he focused on hoarding up the items he'd requested. James had started putting away groceries but dinner to notice him just standing there.

"Here, your room is this way." He followed him down the hall into the first room on the left. A bed took up most of one wall. A large dresser with mirror on top took up most of another. "Bathroom is through there "

"Thanks." He told James retreating back before the door closed behind him.

He carried the toiletries into the bathroom, pausing to look at the mirror. He looked like a fucking hobo. He set to work cleaning himself up. By the time he looked something like back to normal he could hear James in the kitchen moving pots and pans. He slid out of the bathroom. James stood at the stove cooking something that smelled amazing.

"Any dietary shit I should know about?" He asked without glancing up.

"I can only eat food encrusted with diamonds."

James snorted. "Damn, guess you're gone starve." The other man glanced up and froze. In an instant the laughter was gone from his face and his eyes looked hardened.

"Everything okay?" He asked, trying to ignore the spark of anxiety that shot through him.

"Fine." Barnes answered curtly. 

He couldn't understand what had caused the change. He sat back at his laptop and tried to start on the code again but every bang in the kitchen made him jump. Finally he closed the laptop and moved into the living room. The picture he'd damaged was propped up against another picture now. He stretched on the couch and fell silent. If he'd somehow angered the other man staying silent and disappearing into the background was his best option.

"Come eat." Barnes said some time later.

He stood and moved into the kitchen. A plate was sitting out for him next to what smelled like curry. "Chicken masala." Barnes elaborated from his spot at the breakfast nook. 

"Smells great!" He said hoping maybe whatever he'd done to upset the man had passed.

He loaded his plate before moving to sit. On the other side of the table. Barnes didn't smile or acknowledge him as he sat, instead just continuing to eat. Following the other man's lead he took a bite. "Shit this is amazing." He said.

He saw what might have been the tiniest flicker of a smile but it vanished in an instant. He ate a few more bites but it felt like lead in his stomach. If he was in for it later better to bring it down on himself now than wait, right? "Did I do something to upset you?" He worded the question carefully.

Barnes eyes snapped up to his. Yup. He was in for it. He kept his breathing calm as he waited for whatever was coming. The anticipation made him jump when Barnes let out a long sigh. "No. You didn't do anything." The man said quietly. "I just didn't expect you to shave is all. Seeing you, looking like yourself, it's." The man's metal hand moved up to push through the long brown hair. It looked soft. He shook his head, forcing his mind to focus. "It's like I said before. Everything bad that's happened to me in the last few years is because of you. When you didn't look like yourself it was easier to forget."

He nodded silently. How many other lives had he ruined? Hundreds of thousands he was sure. He robotically managed a few more bites but as his stomach churned threateningly he stood. He cleaned his plate and set it on the drying rack by the sink before returning to work. 

Barnes moved around him, finishing eating, cleaning the kitchen, watching TV. He focused completely on the coding. "I'm going to bed. Need anything?"

Barnes' voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "Umm. If you got paper, pencils, and a straight edge that would help." He asked. Barnes wandered around, returning with a stack of printer paper, a ruler, and a pack of mechanical pencils.

"Sir, the address." Jarvis interjected.

"Oh, yeah. If you just want to give it to Jarvis? I'll go to the bathroom or something."

He stood and quickly slipped away to the bathroom. By the time he returned Barnes was in bed.

He sat back at his spot and let his head thud on the table. "Sir?" Jarvis asked softly. 

He didn't answer, instead bringing his fingers to the keys. He probably couldn't fix whatever he'd done to ruin Barnes' life but maybe he could prevent screwing up anything else.  _ You always fuck everything up! _ He pushed the thought back, focusing on making his fingers speed across the keys. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

Bucky

He woke up slowly, the familiar sounds of the birds outside pulling him awake. He lay in bed, home. But it wasn't really home anymore. It was too empty now. Too quiet.

Except it wasn't totally silent. The sound of Tony's voice filtered down the hall. Did that man ever fucking sleep? He stood choosing not to barge out. If Stark never fucking slept again that was on Stark not him. He grabbed clothes and moved to the bathroom. He resolutely tried to deny how small and simple his shower felt after seeing the one at the hotel. He didn't need fancy. He just needed functional. 

He washed up quickly. He felt guilty. He probably shouldn't have come down on Tony again last night. So what if the man fucking shaved? It was still the same person he'd been dealt with over the last few days. Different facial hair didn't change the fucking person. Still, he'd gotten too close to Stark. Maybe the change would help serve as a reminder that the man had ruined his life. 

He pulled on pants, not bothering with a shirt until his hair dried. He opened the door and headed for the living room. The only indication any time had passed since he last saw Tony was the paper that now littered the table which seemed to cover a range of random designs. Unnoticed he watched Stark stop and set a paper aside before stretching across the table to grab a second page which he began furiously scribbling on. 

Even from a distance he could see dark rings forming under Stark's eyes. The faintest whisper of shadow was also coming up where the man had shaved. It had been disconcerting to see him yesterday, every bit the man he remembered at the foot of the hospital bed but he found that today it didn't bother him as much. He'd been startled he knew that. 

He moved down the hall and Stark's eyes snapped up to him and just as quickly dropped back to the papers. He glanced into the spare bedroom at he passed. The bed was perfectly made. So either Stark had tried to sleep and then remade the bed or he hadn't even tried to sleep. The latter seemed more likely. 

He passed the table. "Coffee?" He asked as he entered the kitchen. When he got no response he asked, "Tony?"

"Oh. Yes. Thanks." Tony said without looking up.

He turned his attention to starting the kettle before wandering over to open the windows just enough to let the cool air whisper in. He could feel Stark's eyes watching him as he worked but he didn't try to make eye contact. Stark's eyes followed him into the kitchen.

He took his time making the coffee, his eyes closed as he listened to the birds outside. Finally he couldn't find a reason to stay on the kitchen any longer. "Creamer? Sugar?" He asked caring two streaming mugs to the table.

"Black like my soul." Stark said without a hint of humor. He passed the cup over as his eyes trailed over the papers. There had to be more than a dozen ideas in various stages of completion spread across the papers. Most of it flew over his head. One paper, half buried referenced bees. Another appeared to be a spray that increased produce yield from crops. A few pages were just lists of ideas but the vast majority seemed to focus on clean energy. At least 5 visible drawings showed various designs similar to the reactor in Tony's chest only with tubes and wires spiralling out each one labeled on Stark's neat small writing.

One design pulled his attention. An intricately stretched picture of his arm sat mostly buried under other projects. Next to the drawing was a list of issues. Slipped gears, loose cabling and something with misfires was all he could read. He may have told Stark no to fixing his arm but of course the man still managed to diagnose it from a distance.

He wandered into the living room and sat, sipping at the burning liquid. His eyes closed again as he listened to the birds. If he could ignore the soft scratch of pencil on paper he could pretend things were normal. "I'll be out in the garage most of the day." He said without looking over the back of the couch at Tony. "Feel free to help yourself to whatever in the fridge. I made enough coffee for another few cups so go for it." 

He stood crossing to the kitchen and rinsed his mug. He returned to his room to finish getting dressed. He could feel Stark's eyes on him at he crossed to the front door and stepped into the cool morning air. The grass was covered in a layer of dew that dampened his shoes as he walked around the house and to the shop. Pulling the key from his pocket he let himself in. 

The garage wasn't huge by any means but it was still large enough to fit two cars and still have room to work so he counted that as a plus. He closed the door and turned on the lights. He crossed to his motorcycle. The 1941 Indian Scout bike had been his pride and joy for more than a decade. He'd found the intact frame and motor at a junkyard right before basic. He'd brought it home and had slowly been rebuilding it since. 

In recent years he'd given up hope it would ever be complete. The parts he still needed were rare and expensive. He had every junkyard within 5 hours on the lookout but do far nothing had come up.

He set to work cleaning since he honestly had nothing he needed to work on. Still his mind kept wandering back to the house. He wasn't sure how much he liked Tony going silent. Still it was for the best. When Stark talked, really talked not the stuff they showed on TV, it seemed to draw him in and that was the last thing he needed. He wasn't Stark's friend he was…what was he at this point? The only word that came to mind was jailer and that didn't feel right. Captor popped up next but felt just as uncomfortable. He decided to quit trying to label it.

He was just starting to pull down all the hand tools to start organizing when the crunch of tires on gravel met his ear. His heart stopped. Less than twenty four hours and they already found him. He only had a handgun out here. He needed to get to the house. The vehicle stopped. Carefully he peeked out of the shed. A kid, no older than 17, stepped out of a delivery van and looked around. The van was dark blue with the Stark Industries logo in white covering most of the side.

He tucked the gun into the waistband of his pants and moved towards the van. "Can I help you?" He asked. The kid turned to look at him. He had black hair and a few freckles over his nose. His eyes were a dark brown. He was thin and lanky, like he'd just had a growth spurt and hadn't filled out yet. The kid grabbed a clipboard from the dash. "Yeah are you...Mr. Barnes?"

"That's me." 

"Ahh perfect. So I've got a box of mixed apparel for the mid range school visit today. You sure you only need the one box?" The kid frowned at the list then looked up at him. 

"Yeah. Still have some from last time." He invented. It seemed to be enough for the kid.

"Oh, cool. Yeah. Let me…" the kid moved towards the back of the van and he followed. His hand slid carefully to the gun just in case but when the kid opened the back it was nothing but boxes with the Stark logo on them. "Sorry we are running so far behind today. The factory said there were all kinds of issues with the machine last night. They added about 25% weight just to be sure it was all there."

"No problem. It got here before I needed to leave, there's all that matters." He said hoping it sounded at least somewhat convincing.

The kid pulled a box over and scanned it with his phone before passing it off. "Have a good one!" The kid called as he climbed back into the van and turned around. 

He tucked the cardboard box under his arm and headed back for the front door. "Tony. You have a delivery." Tony looked up from his work as he dropped the box into an unoccupied bar stool. "How did this get here so fast?"

Tony stood and broke open the tape on the box. "The factory is already making it all so we don't have to wait for it to be made."

"What's a mid range school?" He asked, watching as Tony began pulling out t-shirts and sweatpants all emblazoned with Stark Industries logo.

"SI has done outreach to high risk, low income schools for more than ten years and we have seen some amazing things come from that. But I got thinking about the middle class. The "make too much for finical aid but not enough to pay for college" kind of families. So this year we launched a mid range campaign targeting schools where most of the families are middle class. We have a high range group that goes out to the rich schools too. You'd be amazed how many families go poor to send their kids to a school outside their budget. It's all about getting aid to the kids that need it." 

He reached out and picked up a pair of underwear from the box. "You're giving kids underwear?"

Tony smirked. "No that was Jarvis' doing. The line that makes the school clothes also makes the regular Stark apparel line. Jarvis made sure some of those items accidentally got into the box so I could have clean clothes until my other stuff comes."

"Why haven't I seen or heard anything about this mid range thing?" He asked.

Tony's eyes met his. "Not everything I do is for the publicity." Tony said quietly before collecting the box and slipped into the bedroom. 

"Jarvis?" He asked uncertainty.

"Mr. Barnes?"

"How many schools has that rolled out into?"

"This year is the soft launch of Project Future. By December the plan was to launch into 6,000 middle schools and 10,000 high schools. That number accounts for roughly half of all public middle and high schools within the US. Mr. Stark's kidnapping and death has put the program on hold as he was the face of the project. To date, Mr. Stark has only visited about 2,000 schools."

" _ Thousand?"  _ He asked.

"That is correct." 

"So Tony has been to 2,000 schools this year and if everything had gone to plan would have visited 16,000 before the end of the year?"

"Some schools are not able to accommodate an assembly and had to be reached via telecom. I believe the exact number has been modified now but I'm sure Mr. Stark could tell you."

He shook his head and glanced down the hall. As if on cue Tony stepped out of the bedroom. His hair was wet like he'd showered and he'd changed completely into the Stark clothes. The reactor glowed faintly through the black shirt, illuminating the globe behind the Stark Industries logo.

"When is everything else supposed to come?" 

"Tomorrow I think for the rest?" 

He nodded before turning and heading back to the shop. Even though the house's back windows were one way, he knew if he could see through them Stark would be watching. Closing the door to the garage he dropped into a shop stood which grumbled in protest. 

He glared around the room. Every time he thought he had Stark figured out. He shook his head and forced himself to work on putting up the tools. In the end how Stark was didn't matter now. He had seen the real Stark that day when they'd given him the prosthetic from hell and ruined everything. But how much had really been Tony's fault?

Tony

He leaned back on the stool blinking until the design he was working on was no longer blurry. James had gone to bed an hour ago after closing all the windows. In spite of working all day it didn't feel like he was  _ doing _ anything. Endless conceptualizing without actually making anything was mind numbing. He wanted to get his hands dirty with something other than fucking graphite. 

He bent forward again, returning to the modification he was making to a robot that would help clean up litter from landlocked bodies of water like ponds or lakes.

"Sir, I really must insist you try to rest." Jarvis said softly. It was the third time he'd said it since Barnes' lights clicked off down the hall.

"I'm fine J." He said quietly.

He had definitely had less coffee than normal, that was the only reason he was having a hard time focusing. He added another few notes to the design but if he was honest with himself the design had been completed over an hour ago.

Standing, he paced from the breakfast area to be living room and back. His hands pushed through his hair. He needed a new idea. Instead his mind was full of a whispering static. His left arm hurt though that was improving. He was concerned the pain from the reactor wasn't lessening quicker though Jarvis insisted it was normal healing time.

He returned to the table and began to stack the papers by project. He paused as he looked at the picture of the arm that James still wouldn't let him touch even though he knew the arm had to be causing him pain. 

Everyone near him always got hurt and now random people he'd barely met were hurt too. God he wanted a drink right now. He wasn't sure he'd ever wanted a drink more in his life. Then again it wasn't like he'd ever had a shortage. Rich absent parents made acquiring things like drugs and alcohol ridiculously easy. He'd already experimented with everything he could find well before going away to college at 13. One drink wasn't wasting his life. Hell he'd had more than a few drinks back at his lab when he'd started looking into…

His chest tightened at the memory of Pepper's file. And that note. He'd never figured out what it meant. "J? Do you have a scan of that note Pepper left?"

"Sir, you really need to rest, your body won't heal--"

"J. Do you have the scan?"

There was a long pause before Jarvis spoke again. "Yes, sir."

"You know the drill, on the screen. Show me."

The note, very clearly Pepper's writing pulled up on the screen.

_ I know what happened.  _

_ I'll see you soon. _

_ Everything will be okay. _

With no camera in the kitchen Jarvis would have no way of seeing her leave the note. "Scan security feed. When was the last time Pepper was at the house before her disappearance?" He asked. He paced the floor waiting for a reply.

"Pepper last visited the house 1 hour before her plane left for Afghanistan."

"Okay. Before that visit, when was she last at the house?"

"Pepper visited the house twice the week of your kidnapping." 

"So the only time it would have made sense to leave it was right before the flight." He turned to look at the note again. "I know what happened." He read aloud. He frowned as a thought occurred to him. "What if she found out what Obie did? That would mean…" his blood ran cold. If Obie found out she knew. If he followed her there. Or had the group that should have killed him…

He crossed to the armchair in the living room and sat. Leaning forward, he dropped his elbows to his knees and tucked his hands against his chest. She was gone because of him. She'd found out too much and been killed for it. And because Obie knew what happened he hadn't tried to look into it. Pain that had nothing to do with the reactor filled his chest. And Rhodes, he'd just been in the wrong place at the wrong time and been killed for it. All those soldiers, dead just for the crime of transporting him. How many families had been ripped apart because of him? 

Tears slipped past his lashes to drip silently down his face. His shoulders shook as the weeks of grief and fear and pain all seemed to collapse around him. He wasn't sure how long he sat like that, crying into the silence but when his body finally seemed to run out of tears to cry he felt numb. He stood and robotically made his way down the hall to the bedroom James had said was his. He pushed the box of Stark clothing onto the floor, curled up fully dressed and let his eyes close.

He was on his feet before his eyes opened. Echos of nightmares clawed at the back of his mind. He needed to move. He had to escape. They were closing in on him. His heart hammered in his chest. He stumbled for the door. He left it open last night. He reached out to push the door wider but stumbled. The door banged into the wall. He broke into a run. Coming to a stop in the living room his eyes searched the room wildly. He needed something. Needed to escape. Needed… 

"Tony?" A voice behind him made him spin around. His hand shot out to grab the table as the world kept spinning. James, wearing only sweatpants and looking like he'd just woken up was walking down the hall. "Hey. You're okay." James stood in front of him. "What happened?"

They were coming! How could he not realize. How didn't he know? He tried to tell him but his mouth opened and closed wordlessly.

"Hey, you're having a panic attack. Everything is okay. Just try to breath okay?"

He was breathing. He wouldn't be if they didn't move. He started to turn back to the kitchen but a cold hand caught his arm. The metal one? He looked down at his arm but no that was James regular hand. Why was it so cold? Was he hot?

"Come sit down." James said firmly. He allowed himself to be pulled to the couch. "Focus on breathing okay? We are safe. Everything is okay. Nothing bad is happening. This will pass soon, just keep breathing. Can you tell me how you're feeling?"

"Dizzy." He managed to push out.

"Yeah you're not breathing deep enough. Focus on slow breaths."

He closed his eyes but he couldn't feel himself breathing. Desperately he tried to breath but his lungs weren't working. He couldn't breath, he was going to die.

"Tony!" He jumped eyes snapping open. James slipped off the couch. "Lay down." His eyes remained focused on James face as he moved to follow. The man looked calm. How could he be so fucking calm right now? James held up the metal hand for him to see before letting it rest on his stomach. "Feel that?" He nodded. "Feel how much it's moving?" He nodded. "You're hyperventilating. Close your eyes and try to breath like I say okay?" 

He closed his eyes. It seemed to make the sharp bouncing movement of James' hand following his breathing to feel even more extreme. "Okay Tony, inhale for four seconds, ready?" He nodded. "In, one, two, three, four." He felt the slow rise of the metal hand on his stomach. "Hold it. Good. And out, one, two, three, four. Hold it. One, two. You're doing good. Let's go again."

He let the warm wash off James' voice flow over him. Slowly the room seemed to stop spinning and the shivering slowed. "Do you remember what happened?" James asked softly during one of the hold moments.

Did he? He'd gone to bed and then woke up that way. He shook his head. 

"That's okay you don't always know what caused it. I'm going to get up if you think you can keep breathing on your own."

He nodded. The loss of the hand on his stomach made his heart jump. He brought his on hand up to rest where James had been. He heard the man moving around the kitchen. He felt exhausted. His whole body hurt. His heart hurt from slamming into the reactor for so long. "Here." James voice, suddenly near made him jump. "Sit up slowly." He followed instructions but was relieved when the world didn't spin. A warm mug was pressed into his fingers.

He frowned looking at the liquid. "Tea." James supplied. He took a sip of the drink. 

"Thanks." He said quietly.

"No problem." James said quietly.

"You seemed. I mean. It was like you knew exactly what to do." He said lamely.

"I've lived through a fair few of them myself. You get used to it. That's not what I mean. You get used to the idea of them. It's never actually easy."

He nodded. "I'm sorry."

James frowned, "Why?"

"For waking you up. For making you deal with my issues. For even being here in the first place. For getting you involved in helping me escape. For costing you a really good paying job. For putting you in a tough situation. For shaving. For whatever I did to you before. For…for everything I guess?" He closed his eyes. He'd really only planned to apologize for waking him up but once he started talking he couldn't seem to stop. 

Barnes just stared at him. Great. Add unloading emotional baggage and freaking you out to that list. His mind buzzed with potential responses, each one worse than the previous.

It took Barnes several minutes to speak. "I'm sorry too." He blinked. Out of all the responses in his mind, that had definitely not been one of them. "I thought about this a lot yesterday. I think I've been using you as a scapegoat for a lot of shit in my life that you didn't have any control over. It was easy but it isn't fair to you."

He was staring, he knew he was. It felt like a trap. No one just apologized unless they wanted  _ something _ . But anything he'd offered Barnes the man had turned down. Well, everything but the lawyers. Maybe James thought if he didn't apologize that he'd not give him the legal help he'd promised. He didn't go back on promises like that but James had no way of knowing that. Still if this meant that the other man wouldn't yell at him no reason to decline the offer.

"Truce?" He held out a hand. He was annoyed to find it still tremored.

"Truce." The man agreed, shaking his hand. Warm arcs of electricity sped up his hand at the contact. As wary as he was for James motives he didn't want to drop the warm touch. All too quickly James let go of his hand and he let his own return to his warm mug.

"Want some breakfast?" James asked after a moment's quiet.

"Breakfast? What time is it?"

"6:27" Jarvis said from the table.

"Breakfast sounds good." He agreed.

James stood and headed for the kitchen. "Tony look." He said suddenly. A wave of fresh panic rolled over him. He sat eyes following James' finger. Out the back window grazed about ten deer. The panic washed away. "Go sit at the table and you can watch them."

He stood hesitantly. "Won't they run if I move?" He asked.

"Glass is one way. You're good."

He stood, crossing slowly to the window in spite of James assurance he wouldn't spook them. He sat at the table watching.

"I planted grass and plants up next to the house that deer love. They show up at least once a week to graze." James said from the kitchen. 

He watched as the deer moved quietly over the grass. Most of the group seemed to be adults but at least two looked like they were younger. 

"Never seen deer up close before." He admitted, watching as a few strolled right up to the house until less than a foot of space separated them from his fingers.

He could feel James eyes on him but he didn't say anything. From the back of the group he saw a sharp movement. His eyes shot up just in time to see a fawn toddling up towards the grass. It firmly bumped its head into one of the adults before stumbling up to the glass. The fawn looked like it was more leg than anything and seemed to be struggling to get the order in which to move its still like legs down correctly. 

"Isn't he cute?" James asked quietly. 

He nodded wordlessly.

"First saw him the day before I came to pick you up."

_ Pick me up _ . He sounded like they were buddies now, getting together for a weekend trip. Still, "a week ago? I thought they got their legs faster than that." 

"Don't let the clumsiness fool you. That little guy can run if he needed to."

He wasn't entirely sure he believed it as the deer tried to jump and ended up in a folded heap of limbs in the grass. He was watching them so closely he didn't notice James approaching with food until the plate clinked in front of him. Bacon, eggs, and fruit sat on the plate. "Thanks." He said quietly.

"Okay if I?" James gestured to moving the paper piles out of the way.

"Yeah it's your place. Do whatever."

There was a flicker of something on James face but he couldn't place it. For a moment the man just stood there and he wondered if he'd already broken the fragile truce they'd created. But then the expression was gone and James easily slid the papers over and sat. 

While the bacon was tempting he attacked the fruit with vigor. The assortment of blueberries, blackberries, raspberries and strawberries was like heaven. He'd always loved fruit and fuck it'd been before Afghanistan that he'd had some. 

James spoke quietly, "There's more fruit in the fridge, help yourself."

"You're gonna regret that." He said with a wink. "I'll have to set up with a fruit budget to deal with how much I can go through."

James didn't laugh but he smiled easily. That had to count for something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer than normal but there isn't anywhere good to cut it shorter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

Bucky

The next few days settled into something roughly like a routine. He'd get up at his normal time. All but one of those days Tony was up already working. He could see evidence the man was trying to sleep but if the ever darkening circles under Tony's eyes said anything it wasn't working. He could relate to that. Hell, it had been months after the explosion before he'd been able to get one good night's rest and then weeks after that before night two.

As much as he hated to admit it, Tony was surprisingly good company. He was interesting and honestly fun to talk to, quick to joke and quicker to laugh. He also managed to always pick up if he was drifting too close to a sensitive subject and easily turn the conversation.

Tony was a strange mix of fastidious and messy. The table was a complete mess of papers with the laptop perched carefully in the middle but Tony went out of his way to keep everything else clean. Dishes and cups were washed quickly and put away once he learned the place for things. He wiped or cleaned any mess he made. Once he'd even caught the other man taking out the trash.

The morning after his panic attack Tony had told him about an idea he was working on for something about clean energy. He was sure Tony was only telling him to fill the quiet but he'd been able to offer an idea Tony seemed to like. After that Tony frequently provided explanations on what he was working on. A lot of what Tony was doing went way over his head but Tony was also surprisingly good at explaining things in ways he understood. If Tony minded having to dumb down the information he hid it well.

Last night a box of clothes had come for Tony. He lay in bed mentally preparing himself to see Tony in a suit. The facial hair had really tripped him up but he was intent on maintaining the new found truce.

He forced himself up, tossing off the sheets. A quick shower later he stepped out of his room. Tony's bedroom door was open, the sheets in a rumpled pile on the floor. Apparently sleep hadn't worked but he also didn't see Tony at the table or hear him in the kitchen. His heart skipped a beat. What if Tony had run after all? But Jarvis was still there and surely Tony would have taken him. 

A slow steady breathing pulled his attention to the couch. Tony was stretched out on the couch, head pillowed on his arms, chest rising and falling evenly in sleep. What was more surprising than finding Stark knocked out on the couch was his outfit. Instead of the suit he'd expected, Tony wore a black faded Black Sabbath shirt and loose fitting black jeans. His socks still bore the Stark Industry logo on the tops. 

Tony looked so different in sleep, his face relaxed. The last of the bruising had finally healed. The only cut that remained was one over his right eye which honestly could have used stitches but seemed to be doing okay. It was strange to see him look so peaceful. He wondered if people would feel the same about him if they found him asleep. As he watched Tony's brows knit together and a moment later a soft whimper slipped past his lips. He'd be awake soon. 

He crossed to the kitchen and started coffee. Before the water even came to a boil Tony lurched up. His hands scrambled to the reactor then to cover his face as the man took long deep breaths. 

"How long was I out J?"

"Thirty eight minutes sir. Might I suggest-"

"Mute." Tony said over Jarvis and the AI went quiet.

"I have coffee but you really should get some more sleep." He said.

"Fuck!!" Tony jumped looking over the kitchen. "When did you get there?"

He glanced at his bare wrist as if checking a watch. "Three minutes ago."

"Should have known you'd be up. Fucking werid ass getting up before the sun."

" _ With _ the sun Tony.  _ With." _

The other man scoffed before crossing to the table. "You mentioned coffee?"

"You know you can't just live on coffee right? Like you do need to actually sleep."

Tony grabbed a design at random off the table and waved it at him. "No. See right here. I started the design last night. I'll just live forever drinking only coffee."

He squinted at the moving design. "Not sure how my arm makes coffee that replaces sleep." He said, crossing to the table.

"Secret feature." Tony mumbled into the cup as he took a sip.

"Uh huh." He took a drink from his own mug. "Any sign of Stane?"

"Mr. Stane has not returned to the office, nor has his plane returned to the hanger." Jarvis answered. Sometimes knowing the AI was always listening was more than a bit creepy but he'd started to get used to it.

"He has to come back eventually." Tony said quietly. He looked anxious.

"Gotta say Tony those clothes? Not what I was expecting."

Tony glanced down. "What have you got against Black Sabbath. Oh wait. I heard your music in the car. You just hate music that's actually  _ good _ right?" Tony flashed him a smirk before continuing. "What exactly were you expecting?"

He shrugged. "Honestly I've never seen you in anything but suits." He said.

"That's not true. You've seen me in pajamas too." When he didn't answer Tony continued. "Honestly? Hate the suits. Hate dressing up. All that? Just not me. I make it look good, but I hate it."

"Not complaining." He said honestly.

Tony winked, "Like what you see?"

"Oh yeah, older crazy billionaires who bury my table in papers is totally my thing."

" _ Older?!  _ I'm offended." Tony said even though the grin across his face said otherwise. "Hey listen, I was wondering if you'd let me check out the garage today? Depending on what Obie's cooking up I may need to build something and I need to know what I'm working with."

He hesitated. He'd never liked anyone else out there. It had always been where he could go to just be alone. Still what Tony said made sense. He sighed. "Sure. Let's get some food in us first."

He stood, crossed to the kitchen and pulled out the stuff to make omelettes. It hadn't been hard to figure out Tony's food preferences. Tony had been increasingly vocal about all kinds of preferences since the truce they'd come to days before.

"You know, I can cook." Tony said without looking up from the design he was working on.

"You can cook?" He couldn't keep the scepticism out of his voice.

Tony turned around to face him as he pretended to look offended. "I  _ am  _ actually capable of taking care of myself.

"You do know cooking is more than calling down to the chief right?" Tony glared. "Okay fine. Tomorrow night, dinner is on you." He said. "I have ribs for tonight that need to get used or they might go bad."

Tony nodded before continuing to work. When the food was done Tony needed a fair bit of prompting to actually leave his work to eat. He'd figured out pretty quickly that even food placed under Tony's nose would go uneaten of he was near his work.

Tony inhaled his food faster than normal and sat waiting for him to finish. He knew Tony was excited to see in the garage but he found himself eating slower to delay it. Seeing Tony's garage, even converted in ash and debris was light-years ahead of his garage. Finally he couldn't reasonably find a way to delay any longer. He stood and Tony quickly gathered and washed both plates. By the time he returned to the bedroom for a shirt and his shoes Tony was already drying the plates.

He took a long breath before stepping back out into the living room. Tony was sitting on the couch pulling on a new pair of sneakers. He hopped up and followed him out the door and into the cool morning. He tried without success to stop the feeling of apprehension that increased with every step.

He unlocked the door. "Don't mess with my stuff." He said.

Tony brought his hand to his chest in mock offense. "Sacred shop rules. You never touch another man's project." And with a wink Tony slipped past him into the garage.

He hesitated a moment before stepping into the garage and turning on the light. 

Tony's eyes fell on his bike and he saw a flicker of something but then the expression was gone. Tony let out a long quiet whistle. "This your baby?" He asked, crossing to stand next to it, then slowly circle the bike.

He felt the knot in his chest loosen some. "Yeah. Been restoring her for years."

"1944?" Stark asked, eyes moving up to his.

"'41." 

Tony smiled easily. "Beautiful. Really is."

He felt pride spread through his chest. "Probably won't ever get done." He admitted. "The parts I need now, having a hard time finding them."

Tony's eyes dropped to the bike again. "Not hard to find…. Just overpriced when you do find them." Tony's eyes flashed up to his face almost cautiously.

It wasn't a question but he found himself nodding all the same.

Tony nodded too before moving away from the bike. Slowly Tony circled the garage, his fingers running lightly over the workbenches, or randomly across tools. It was oddly sweet to watch, like he was caressing the machinery. Then again he'd seen how Tony interacted with his AI, like they were human. Or his children. He shouldn't be surprised. 

"You know," Tony said from the other side of the garage, "I think have everything here to fix your arm."

He tensed, forcing down his knee jerk response to tell Tony to fuck off. While originally he'd said no just to deny Tony any happiness he might get from fixing it, who was he really hurting at this point? "What would you need to do?" He finally asked. 

Tony's eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning, a cute expression of mixed excitement and disbelief spreading over his face. "I...umm." Tony said, clearly caught off guard by the question. "So if I can at least get the plates off, I can see where it's having trouble." Tony watched him carefully from across the garage.

"Take the plates? They come off?" That sounded horribly unpleasant.

"They… Of course they come off!" Tony's face fell. "Did no one tell you? Did no one explain how it worked or anything? I left them all that information. Sent it with the doctors doing the surgery. It should have. No wonder it's having so many problems. Yes. The plates are made to come off so you can clean inside. The way the plates move dust and dirt can get in. I can clean it for you? Show you how?"

"Yeah the doctors just told me I'd figure it out. They specifically said they didn't get any information."

Tony's hands ran over his face. "Okay. Okay let me grab a few things." Tony moved around the garage as if he'd spent years getting familiar with the lay out. If Tony took the plates off would he see what was left of his arm? The bone that they had grafted it too? A wave of nausea rolled over him. He'd ask before. If he could see that, maybe Tony should just do it and not show him how. "Okay. Let's go back to the house. Might as well be comfortable. I have a feeling this will take awhile."

He nodded and stepped out of the shop, Tony on his heels. "Hey, I do have a question." Tony said as they crossed the yard. "How exactly were you mishandling the missile when it went off? There are so many security--"

Any other words Tony spoke were cut off as he spun. "What the fuck did you just say?!" He demanded. His heart pounded in his ears as he spoke.

Tony's eyes were wide. He tried to step back but the metal hand flashed out, fisting the front of his shirt and pulling him back. "I…you were mishandling the missile and it went off. I just. I wanted to know what you did?" Tony stammered.

" _ I  _ mishandled?! I was twenty feet away when it went off! I wasn't even looking at the fucking thing. I never touched it! I don't mishandle anything the piece of fucking shit just went of! Anyone closer than I was died instantly! You fucking cut corners and used shitty parts because you're a fucking lazy bastard!" He was shouting now. His words echoed through the stillness around them. Under his fist he could feel Stark's pulse hammering. Both of Stark's hands had come up and we're scrabbling against the metal monstrosity Stark had created. 

"Died?" He man finally said softly. "I don't…"

"Yes dead!" He shook Tony. How could he forget? How could he not remember? "Melissa Bryan, Amy Coleman, Joshua Barret, Matthew Andrade, Willam Huber, Andrew Coreen, Nicholas Cooke, Jeremy Dyer. They are all dead because of your fucking budget cutting! They are all dead because of you!" He shoved Stark hard enough the other man fell backwards. He remained on the ground. He looked so confused. "You don't even know there names do you? You ended their lives and you don't even know." He stepped toward Stark who immediately curled into a ball, arms wrapped up to protect his head. He was saying something. He took another step closer and Stark flinched and began to speak louder.

"Please. Please. I didn't."

"Yes you did!" He roared.

"I read the report!" Stark shouted, fear laced in his every word. "No casualties, one injury. Please. I can prove it. Please."

He stilled. Stark was shaking. Memories of helping the man through the panic attack filtered unbidden past the rage in his mind. "Show me." He said. When Stark didn't immediately move he rose his voice and spoke again. "Show me!"

Stark hesitantly moved an arm from his face only to quickly jerk it back when the brown eyes caught him standing close, ready to strike. "Get up!" Stark stood and immediately stumbled back a few steps. He turned leading the way back to the house. He could hear Tony's uneven breath behind him.

He opened the front door and waited for Stark to pass before closing it behind them. Stark's body shook. He rang his hands together against his chest. "Jarvis. Pull up the report, the one about the missile misha--misfire." Stark said.

A report loaded on the screen. With a glance at Stark he passed the other man and looked at the screen. The date and time looked identical to the one he'd seen. He scrolled through the document. Improper handling of missile by Sgt. Barnes lead to it's detonation. He scrolled a bit more. No casualties. He stared at the screen. He'd never even know. Someone had sent him a falsified report. He reread the document over as if somehow it would magically correct. Somehow it would show. "Jarvis. You are connected to the internet correct?" He asked.

"Yes sir."

"You know this isn't right."

A strange crackle issued from the speakers then an oddly robotic voice spoke. "I am not authorized to provide this information."

"Jarvis?!" Stark's voice issued from behind him, panicked. The man took an aborted step. 

"Yes sir?" Jarvis' voice was back as if nothing happened. 

"Jarvis, internet search for missile detonation using the dates on that report." 

The robotic voice was back. "I am not authorized to provide this information."

"I'm sorry sir. No results found." Jarvis said. 

"Buddy, I need you to run a scan. Something in your data is compromised."

"I shall begin scanning now."

He turned to look at Stark. The man still stood in the entry, eyes wide. "Who sent you that report?" He asked. 

Stark's eyes flickered. "Obie sent it." He whispered. "Jarvis, Obie sent that report right?"

"That is correct sir."

Before he could speak Tony was talking again, his voice almost inaudibly quiet. "What really happened?"

He closed his eyes and took a slow breath. Stark hadn't forgotten. Stark had never known. And if he'd only read that report then of course Stark would have thought that he had caused the explosion that day. He took a step towards Stark, who lurched back and collided with the door. "Easy." He said. The anger was draining out of him. Stark should have seen the news, should have done a fact check but ultimately the other man simply didn't know. 

"I'm sorry. You don't have to. I can." Stark was babbling between sharp tight breaths. 

So he'd scared the man shitless for nothing. Great job asshole. 

"Tony. You gotta breathe." He said, trying to force a calm he didn't quite feel into his voice. He took another step closer holding up both hands placatingly. Tony pushed back against the door as if it might give way and let him slide through the solid surface. "I won't come any closer but you have start breathing okay? Remember how I showed you?" He watched as Tony regained control of his breathing. It was painstakingly slow but finally Tony seemed to manage it. "I'm sorry Tony. I thought you knew what really happened. If you will come sit down I will tell you."

Tony's chin tipped a fraction of an inch down and then back up. He turned and moved into the living room. He was sitting before Tony took his first step. The man sat as far away from his as possible. That was fair. He'd probably fucking traumatized the man. 

He closed his eyes and began to speak. "We were home. We'd survived our tour in Afghanistan. Only squad to make it back with everyone. We were all just talking after finishing up storing some things. There was one missile alone on a rack but we didn't think anything of it. Amy was closest but she wasn't touching it. Still a few feet away. It just went off. I remember the sound, the pain and then." He shook his head as memories of the ambulance ride threatened to pull him into a panic attack of his own. "I was it. My whole squad gone."

"Sir? I have found several breaches in my security. The source appears to be linked to reports Stane sent."

"Why would Stane lie?" He demanded from both AI and Tony.

"Never wanted to make weapons." Tony said quietly. "He knew something like that would make me quit. He kept me away from the press for months after that happened. Made me only take no question interviews. I should have realized."

"Tony." The brown eyes snapped to his face. "I'm sorry. I thought. I never would have guessed you didn't know. You're so connected in to…" he gestured vaguely, "everything. I never considered you wouldn't know."

Tony nodded but his eyes fell. The silence that spread through the room felt thick and toxic. 

"If you still want to, you're welcome to do…anything, whatever you need to my arm." He offered. Tony's eyes jumped back to his face. He hated the thinly veiled fear on the man's face. His stomach clenched. "I'm not mad. I shouldn't have reacted like that. I should have asked you first. I'm sorry."

Tony's eyes continued to hold his. Finally Tony nodded. "I'll go get the tools." He said quietly. Tony nodded again.

He stood and crossed to the front door. It wasn't hard to find the tools where they lay forgotten in the grass. He knelt and ran his flesh hand over his face. Some part of his brain clung to blaming Stark. He should have fact checked. But if the media was to be believed Stane had been around since before Tony was born. A trusted family friend. What reason would he have to fact check?

He should still have done a better job overseeing the final product. But if Tony was designing everything how much did he really oversee? Probably not much. So if anything he'd been demonizing the figurehead of a company who'd had no involvement in the blast. Great. Just fucking great.

He didn't rush back in. Tony probably needed a minute and he sure as fuck did. When he finally collected everything and returned inside Tony was still in the same place he'd been. He sat least didn't jump or flinch when he opened the door. The knowledge that not having a visible fear reaction was the current baseline for how things were going made his chest ache.

"Tony? Before we start can I tell you something?" He asked softly.

That definitely sent a flicker of fear through the other man's face but Tony nodded all the same. 

"For years I've been blaming you for everything that happened that day. The media makes it out like you control every second of everything that happens at that company and when things went bad I just followed right along. I never considered how many thousands of people have to work there to make things happen or how there is no way you could know everything that happened in the company. Anyway, I'm trying to say I'm sorry, again. If you're still willing I'd like to give that truce one more try."

Tony was quiet for a long time following his words. He didn't push, just let the offer man think. Finally Tony nodded, holding out a hand again. He took it easily. 

"Do you have any towels you don't care about?" Tony asked quietly. "And something for warm water, a bucket or a deep bowl?"

"Yeah. Sure. I'll be right back." He returned a few minutes later with the requested items in hand. 

Tony motioned for him to sit next to Tony on the couch. "Probably best if your shirt's off." He nodded and pulled it over his head. Tony wet the towel and slowly wrung it out. "Ready?" Tony asked. He nodded. 

He expected Tony to grab the tools and start working. Instead Tony brought the towel up and began gently wiping and rubbing at each of the plates, starting at his shoulder. He let his eyes close. It felt strange, having someone else touch the arm. Jess had hated it. She'd never wanted to touch it or be touched by it. RJ had been curious of course but Jess had made sure he never really held her with it either.

Tony's hands worked slowly and easily, scrubbing lightly the plate where it grafted to his skin. He felt goosebumps spreading over his chest. It was strangely peaceful, almost like a massage. "Where could I find q tips?" Tony asked, his voice quiet.

"Bathroom, under the counter. I can…" but Tony was already standing. 

Tony returned a moment later with q tips which he wet before working carefully along the edge of the plate. Tony's left hand came to rest gently on his forearm as he worked. The heat from Tony's hand warmed his arm. He let his eyes close again. They were silent as Tony worked. Tony's hand gently turned his arm as needed. "You need to clean these more often." Tony said softly as he moved to the second plate.

If this was the result why would he? He stuffed that thought away. "Didn't know how." He said instead. "They said not to get it wet."

Tony let out an indignant snort. "You really think I'd have something permanently attached to a living anything without it being about to get wet? Fuck even Dum-E gets hosed off. You can swim, you can shower. It won't hurt it. Clean it good if you go in the ocean, obviously." Tony quietly worked in circular movements. The arm let out a sudden loud pop followed by a low groan. "They really didn't tell you anything about this?"

He shook his head. "The doctors were fucking pissed that there weren't any instructions. They said they went into the surgery blind and had to figure it out." 

"It doesn't make any sense. I talked to the doctors doing the surgery extensively. I hand wrote instructions for you." 

Tony worked in silence down the plates. By the time Tony was at his elbow he felt more relaxed than he had in months if not years. "Arm up" Tony said, patting his arm gently. 

"Can't. Not very far." He said without opening his eyes.

"Show me." With great effort he lifted his arm as far as it would go. A loud grinding whine filled the quiet. Tony's hands wrapped around the metal bicep almost as if to soften the sound. "Okay, Okay. Lay it over the back of the couch." Tony said. He stretched it out. Tony began to try to clean the plate that covered his armpit. With a jump he pulled back, the arm protesting loudly at the sharp movement.

Tony's eyes practically sparkled. "Are you… Are you ticklish?" Tony asked.

"Fuck you."

Tony broke out in laughter and he couldn't help but join in. "That's incredible! For the nerves to have integrated that well." Tony said once the laughter finally stopped.

"Fuck you, okay?” He said.

"Don't threaten me with a good time." Tony said with a wink. "Arm back on the sofa I'll press harder."

Reluctantly he returned his arm to the back of the couch. Tony started again and it didn't tickle as much. The q tips were harder. Thankfully the next plate down wasn't as sensitive. 

"How much of this can you feel?" Tony asked quietly as he worked on the last plate above his elbow.

"All of it." He said lazily. 

"Good. At least that is working. Can you tell the difference between this and this?" 

He shook his head. "Just pressure. Your hand is warm so if it stays still long enough I can feel that but otherwise it's just pressure."

Tony nodded but continued without further questions. Another ten minutes passed before Tony spoke again. "There were so many features I wanted to add." He turned his arm enough to be able to more easily reach his elbow. "Obie only gave me 4 days to finish it. I don't think I slept at all those days." Tony said with a laugh. 

"You made this in  _ four days? _ " He couldn't have kept the shock from his voice if he wanted. His head lifted up off the couch to stare at the other man. He'd known Tony was smart. Fuck everyone knew that but four days to design and build something as intracate as his arm? 

Tony however seemed to misinterpret his tone. His face dropped and he nodded. "Yeah. I should have been able to do more. I just wanted to be sure it was totally--"

"Tony no. What you managed in that amount of time is fucking amazing."

Tony turned his attention back to the section he was working on but he could see a genuine smile on his down turned face.

"Okay scoot back just a bit. Rest your hand…right. Palm up. On my knee." Tony spoke while also guiding his hand. "There." Tony picked up the cloth and wrung it out. He began to scrub at the plate just past the crook of his arm. For some reason the plates felt more sensitive but not like under his arm where it had ticked. This just felt even more calming. He squirmed until he could comfortably lay his head back on the couch. If Tony had any thoughts or opinions about him settling in he kept them quiet.

Tony's fingers gently curled around his upturned palm, guiding him to move his arm so Tony could work on another part of it plate.

He was keenly aware that none of this should feel good. He attempted to push that thought away. It had been far too long since anyone did anything kind to him. But no, that wasn't it either. This is just how Tony was with the things he created. His arm was just like Dum-E or Jarvis. Tony wanted to repair and maintain his creations. Nothing more. The fact it felt nice was simply a pleasant coincidence. 

Tony's thumb was moving over his palm in absent strokes. He was fairly confident the man had no idea he was doing it. He still wondered if he should tell him. Tony would want to stop he was sure. Still after freaking him the fuck out earlier he let the movement slide as Tony worked slowly and methodically down his arm.

As Tony neared his wrist he lifted his head to look. There was a clear difference between the plate Tony had just cleaned and the one he was working on now. Even in low light the metal Tony had cleaned gleamed. He honestly didn't remember it ever looking like that before. Perhaps it never had. He'd sure never cleaned it. 

"Be right back." Tony's voice pulled him from his thoughts. He watched as Tony collected up the bucket. A moment later he heard him pour it into the sink and the sound of water running. He closed his eyes again. He felt lazy and content. He didn't bother opening his eyes again till he felt the couch dip signalling Tony's return.

Tony's fingers wrapped gently around his hand. Tony pulled his legs up onto the couch, turning so they were now face to face so Tony could more easily curl over his hand as he worked. Tony quickly wrung the rag out before starting at the heel of his palm. The fresh water was hot and felt amazing as Tony worked. His palm was dramatically more sensitive than his arm and the gentle polishing felt amazing. 

He found himself watching Tony's face as the man worked. While his brows were furrowed in concentration there was a strange almost open look to his face. He let his eyes drop closed as he allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of the rag over his hand. Instead of stopping on each plate to use the Qtip Tony seemed to be working over his whole hand with the cloth first.

Goosebumps spread back over his chest as Tony moved into the center of his palm. "What happened here?" Tony asked. He didn't have to open his eyes to know that Tony was pointing at 

"Bullet." He mumbled. Pulling in a breath of air he forced himself to focus on the next words even though his brain felt full of fog. "Took a bullet on my next tour out. But stopped it from going into my chest so I call it a win."

"They said you weren't going back into active duty. I would have made it with stronger metals." Tony huffed.

"Wasn't out there long. Almost got my squad killed when it started to malfunction. They pulled me back, medical discharge." It felt strange telling Tony that. Honestly if anything was Tony's fault the discharge was but he couldn't find the energy to care. 

Tony worked up his pinkie finger carefully cleaning each of the tiny plates. "Make a fist." Tony prompted. He did and Tony carefully worked to clean the areas that went visible when his hand was closed.

"I still remember being shocked when they showed me the arm that the fingers could move at all."

A soft smile spread over Tony's face. "Did it take long? To learn to move them I mean?"

He shook his head as Tony moved to his ring finger. "I flipped off the nurse the first day it was on." He said. Tony laughed. "Honestly she was a bit of a bitch. Deserved it." He watched Tony's face for a moment before speaking again. "You really do love this stuff don't you? Making things?"

Brown eyes rose to meet his and for a moment Tony seemed to consider him before speaking. "I always have. Or at least as distantly as I can remember I have. To think of something no one has ever seen before and then form that thought into reality." Tony's eyes returned to his work. "Plus machines? Tools? They are easy. If I pick up a wrench I know exactly how it will work every time. If it fails it's because of something I've done. Consistency." Tony moved to middle finger, stretching it out without prompting. "I'm bad at people though. I push buttons. I'm inconsiderate. I'm annoying. I forget things and let people down. I do better with machines." He finished. 

Something about the way Tony had listed those statements felt uncomfortably like he was repeating a list he'd been told before. Hell he'd seen the news say things a million times worse about the iron monger Tony Stark. He'd seen old footage of Tony getting interviewed at 3 and 4. To grow up that intensely in the public's eye, fuck in the media's eye. He couldn't even begin to imagine. 

Tony gently turned his hand over and began to work on polishing the back of his hand. He could definitely understand what Tony meant about tools being constant where people were not. Hell he remembered a point when he'd sworn to anyone who cared that he and Jess were going to be together forever and he didn't need to do a prenup. How quickly that changed.

His eyes drifted to the picture Stark had held a few days ago. Before he could stop himself he spoke. "They are, were, my family. The ones in the picture." He said quietly. "My ex wife, Jess. Our daughter RJ. When I came back from the explosion she always seemed to resent me. Then one day I came home one day and everything was gone. I don't know where they are now but she is trying to bar me from my daughter. That's why I want the legal help."

Tony paused to follow his gaze to the picture before looking at him. "Is she giving a reason?" 

"She's saying I'm an unfit parent. She keeps recording our phone calls, if I get mad and using them to say I have an anger problem. Yelled at my lawyer after the second extension and he thinks I have one now too. I think he's actively working against filing anything through."

Tony nodded, turning his hand back over and picking up the q tips. "I don't have any lawyers with custody as their primary field of knowledge but if none of them can help we will find someone. If you want to see her, you deserve to." Tony said quietly. "How old is she?"

"She turned five in January." 

Tony leaned back, stretching. He looked down at his hand. The metal gleamed. "Ready to let me see what's going on?" Tony asked.

He nodded. "So, each of these plates is on almost like a sled which gives them the movement. Each one has a tightening point that runs along the inside of your arm." Tony's finger ran from his armpit down to his wrist. "So, how much control do you have on those plates?" He moved them as much as he could to demonstrate. "Good. Lift them up towards your shoulder as much as possible...perfect. See? Tony indicated a slot in the metal. He'd seen it before but never realized it meant anything. "So if we…" Tony slotted the screwdriver into the line and turned. It was the strangest fucking thing he'd ever felt, almost like peeling off tight clothes after getting them wet in the rain. It seemed that the slot locked in most of the plates in his shoulder as Tony's hand easily caught and stabilized them.

A thought made him jerk his head away. "You can't see it can you? My arm? Or whatever's left?" He was aware that his voice was tight but he couldn't have changed it if he wanted to.

"No. No, your arm is in a closed off section. Had to be closed off to prevent infection." Tony said quietly.

He turned to look as Tony eased down the plates. An intricate almost cage like structure housing wires and gears and motors all came into view. Cautiously he lifted his arm and watched in awe as the gears turned to accommodate the movement. His fascination was cut short when Tony let out what was almost a growling noise. "If that  _ fucking plastic _ ?" Tony's hand wrapped tight around his forearm holding him still as he leaned in close. "Fucking plastic?! Jarvis! Get into the news station. Find all the unaired footage of the hospital. Who took this arm after I had it?!" Tony's hands worked feverishly now, carefully removing plates. 

"Sir, it appears that Mr. Stane took the arm after the interview." Jarvis said.

"I knew it!! I fucking knew it!" Tony's voice rose in anger.

"What would be the point of Stane taking it?" He asked.

"Well considering the only missing components are the ones worth more than $1,000 each--"

" _ $1,000?  _ For  _ one _ component?" His eyes tracked down the arm adding up anything that looked plastic. "Tony how much did this arm cost?"

"What? I don't remember. Why?" Tony said distractedly, his eyes not leaving the arm. 

"Jarvis?" He called.

"An official rundown was never created but conservatively around 1.75 million."

His heart froze in his chest. Over a  _ million? Conservatively? _

"This isn't worth that. Fuck it's not even worth the cost of the metal at this point. Jarvis. Start a list." Tony began to rattle off parts in such rapid succession that he couldn't hope to follow it as his heart returned to thunder in his ears. Stark had made something that cost over one million dollars in four days specifically to be grafted to him.

When Tony finally took a breath he cut into the list. "Tony, I don't even know what to say. That is way too much. Thank y—"

"Don't thank me for this." Tony said, screwdriver tapping a plastic gear. "When it's fixed you can thank me. This might feel weird." Tony added as an afterthought as he loosened the connection at his wrist. 

Tony hadn't been wrong. Apparently all the plates on his hand connected together. He shuddered as Tony eased it off.  _ That _ looked creepy. Each finger had soft plastic pads connected together by a thin metal skeleton running through the pads. Thin metal wiring connected into the pads. As he curled his fingers the wires pulled slowly bending the finger. Completely forgetting Tony might be trying to do something he lifted his arm to look more closely at his hand. Slowly he curled and stretched the fingers. His palm had more of the soft pads, sculpted to the correct shape. Tony reached forward and tapped his palm. He jumped. He could clearly feel it.

"The rest of your arm the sensors are in the plates." Tony said softly. "But for your hand the metal is paper thin so all the strength and feeling comes from inside. Don't grab anything too hard. It's likely to be over sensitive."

"How did you come up with this?" He asked, pulling just his thumb in and watching the wire move.

Tony smiled. "It's just like… Could I show you?" Tony pointed at his flesh hand. Uncertainly he held out his hand. Tony's hands wrapped lightly around his wrist, pulling his arm until his hand rested on Tony's knee. Tony carefully turned his arm palm up. With gentle movements Tony pressed his fingers down until his hand was open wide. Goosebumps spread up his arm. Little sparks of electricity flared under Tony's fingers .

"There are two sets of flexor tendons in each of your fingers. The flexor digitorum profundus tendon," Tony's fingertips brushed against the joint at the end of his finger, "and the flexor digitorum superficialis tendon." Tony's fingers brushed over the larger joint. "You can't see them here but," Tony reached for his metal hand and turning it sideways pointed, "the vinculum longum and vinculum breve." Tony pointed to two small metal struts behind the pads on his fingers that ran up and down instead of lengthwise.

"On your hand, retinacular structures keep the tendons in place during the flexing of your finger." Tony tapped four parts along his flesh hand and then the pads on the metal hand. "These areas," Tony touched on either side of the large knuckle on his flesh hand, "act like pulleys and are necessary to efficiently bend your fingers."

Tony's fingers ran over his palm lightly. Each touch was warm and sent little jolts of electricity up his forearm. "So the ability to flex your fingers uses those flexor tendons connected to flexor muscles in your forearm."

Tony's fingers brushed over his forearm. "Move your finger." Tony said quietly. He followed instructions. "See there?" Tony pointed as a muscle in his arm jumped. Tony's hand wrapped gently around his arm. He moved his fingers watching Tony's hand move as the muscle flexed.

"When did you become a master in anatomy?" He asked.

Tony grinned. "Oh James, that is the  _ wrong _ way to ask that." He practically purred.

He froze. When had Tony figured out his name? Just as quickly he relaxed. His full name was in the report. Once Tony figured out who he was it would have been easy. Tony noticed his reaction. This close it wasn't hard to feel the man go completely still. 

"You know what I mean asshole." He said jokingly. It took a second but Tony slowly relaxed too.

"Come on. You think I would make something like this without even half a glance at an anatomy book? Ready to let me fix all I can till we can get the parts I need?" He nodded. "Turn so your arm is towards me." Tony instructed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little extra long to make up for the delay in posting!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

Bucky (cont)

He turned and Tony moved forward to start work. It was strange to feel the arm move and shift as Tony worked without really being able to feel what it was he was doing. "I think I'll be able to fully stop the shocks." Tony said as he worked. "A few wires have come free of the harness and were getting pinched in the gears. The popping and grinding are all the gears themselves which will need replaced." Tony leaned back, fingers closing around his hand. The point of contact felt grounding after not feeling anything. It seemed Tony's fingers were incapable of remaining still. They rubbed lightly at his palm as Tony thought.

Tony was frowning, he realized far later than he should have. The casual contact made his brain fuzzy. "What's up?"

"There's another wire I need to get to. But it's under your arm going up into your shoulder. If you could lift your arm over your head it would be no big deal but the only way I can think to get to it as is would be to get under it."

"...Okay?" He answered hesitantly. "So…?"

"So I'll end up tucked under your arm which  _ I _ am fine with but you may not be." Tony finished.

_ Oh.  _ Oh! "That's fine." He said. Tony was helping him, so what if he had to get a little closer?

Tony considered him a moment. "Okay. Arm up on the back of the couch." He moved. Tony turned and slid over until Tony's neck and head was pressed firmly on his ribs. Now he realized why Tony had asked. "Arm down." Tony instructed, reaching for his wrist. Tony bent his knees and set the metal of his wrist on his knee. His arm now over Tony's head the man shifted and began to work.

Tony's body warmed his side; Tony's hair tickled his ribs as the man moved. It was entirely more intimate than he'd originally understood when Tony had suggested it. Still he couldn't argue that the contact wasn't pleasant. He found himself relaxing slowly as Tony worked. Tony's hair tickled his side again as the man turned his head. "Think you can help hold something with your other hand?" Tony asked. 

He shifted slightly. "Yeah I think so, what do you need?" Tony's fingers closed over his flesh hand and began to guide it. He could definitely feel the heat and and roughness of Tony's fingers better with his non-metal hand he noticed. He pushed that thought away as Tony guided just his index finger out. 

"In here." Tony guided his finger into the machinery. "Feel that tube?" He frowned and moved his finger around.

"Yeah. I do now."

"Good. Tell me when you don't anymore." Tony said.

Tony's hands dropped from his and returned to somewhere higher in his arm. A few moments later the tube shifted and then moved away from his finger.

"Gone." 

"Okay good same thing." Tony's hands were guiding him again. He tried to ignore the warm flickers that spread up from the touch as Tony worked. He ended up doing the same 3 more times before Tony said he was good. 

"So you said the gears would need replaced?" He asked softly. 

Tony hummed but didn't answer for a long moment.

Finally Tony relaxed too, the weight of Tony's body slumping into his side. He hadn't realized how much Tony had been supporting himself. He had the sudden urge to reach over and fix Tony's hair. He stomped that thought down. It was only because Tony's hair kept tickling him. 

Tony let out a sigh then leaned up again, taking some of his weight as he returned to work. "You want to stop for lunch first?" He asked. He definitely needed a bit of space to make his brain stop.

"Lunch?" Tony asked, twisting to be able to see his face. "What time is it?"

He glanced up. "Little after one " 

"Shit didn't realize it was so late. Yeah." Tony lifted his arm and returned it to the couch. Sitting Tony stretched gingerly. Tony cringed, a hand coming up to his shoulder.

"You okay?" He asked as he stood.

"Fine." Tony said a bit too quickly. He didn't push. Standing he wandered into the kitchen. It felt strange, only being able to feel his hand. It was amazing to watch as the arm moved. The gears turned softly as he moved. "See this group here?" Tony pointed to several large gears in his shoulder. He nodded. "See how almost all the teeth are gone?" He touched a gear. It had only three teeth left on the gear, the rest was rounded off and jagged where teeth had obviously been before. "That's why you can't lift it and why it pops. It finally catches on a tooth then immediately it's gone again. Plastic could have never handled the strain."

"What was it supposed to be made out of?" He asked curiously.

"Vibranium." Tony said. "That's why it costs so much."

"Vibranium? I thought that was a myth?" 

Tony smirked. "Still is, keep quiet about it." Tony winked and slipped past him. He stared after Tony. Everyone had heard of it. Hell it was rumored that Captain America's shield had been made out of the stuff. Made by... _ Howard Stark. _ The original arm had used vibranium parts? Tony looked over and laughed. "You should see your face. Fine fine. Dearest Dad had a contract way back with the people who have access to it. That contract has an in perpetuity clause in it meaning about three times a year it just appears in a shipment and in exchange myself and all of SI firmly deny its existence as well as the existence of those who harvest it."

"How did Howard find it?"

Tony shrugged. "He mentioned something about a plane crash in Africa once? He was very intoxicated at the time so who knows if that was even true."

A strange look flickered over Tony's face. He considered letting it drop but he'd always wondered. "What was it like? Growing up with Howard Stark as a father?" He asked softly.

The reaction was instant. Tony spun to look at him, face set. "No. Off limits. Out of bounds. No."

"Okay okay!" He held up his hands placatingly. His eyes searched Tony. It didn't look like anger. Sadness maybe? Tony turned back to the fridge and began to dig through it. "So Obie stole the vibranium parts of my arm. He knows about it then?" Tony nodded. "Who else knows it exists?"

"Pep—." Tony froze mid sentence. Straightening slowly he crossed to the computer. "J. Vibranium, where is it?" He demanded. "Scan and catalogue."

"All the vibranium appears to still be in storage sir."

"Good. Have the parts I need machined. The rest move to storage at the house. Keep Obie away from it." 

"The parts are already being machined. I have sent the request to move the remaining amount."

Tony dropped heavily into a stool. "After the arm, after it was stolen, look for large sales after."

"I'm sorry sir. That information is blocked."

"When Obie logs into his laptop or desktop be ready J. I need all transactions. The shipping manifests too."

"Of course sir."

"Is everything okay?" He asked hesitantly.

"The only two people who knew it existed outside of Obie are dead. Killed after I was kidnapped. I think Obie wants me out of the way to make weapons using the vibranium and probably the reactor too. I destroyed the reactor plans but there isn't any real way to destroy vibranium." Turning back to the computer. "J as soon as those parts are made destroy that machine." Tony added.

"Who else knew?" 

"Pepper and Rhodey." Tony said softly. Then blinking and clearing his throat tried again. "Virgina Potts and Sargent Rhodes." 

"Virgina? I thought her name was Pepper? I remember that from the news."

Tony smiled and then sighing he stood. "No. Pepper was a nickname I gave her." He said with a smile. "She, you've seen her right? Fiery little redhead?" He nodded and Tony continued. "So, early days after I took over the company, first week I think. I'm in my office. Big office. Top floor of SI. Anyway, up there digging through everything my old man left and I see this flash of red out of the corner of my eye. Look up. Watch as this tiny 5' 4" woman comes out of the elevator. Through the closed door I could hear this woman's heels as she walked. I look back at my work, don't think much of it and then suddenly my office door is opening. I hear the receptionist calling 'you can't go in there' and then she snaps the door shut and just  _ goes off _ . Apparently I'd signed something that wasn't in the company's best interest and this tiny little accountant came up fucking tell me off. Security came in and she wouldn't leave, kept saying she had pepper spray and to back off. I called them off and prompted her right there on the spot. Best decision I ever made. Turns out she didn't even have pepper spray. But that's where that came from." He couldn't help but laugh as he imagined a tiny woman fending off massive security guards with non-existent pepper spray. 

Tony's face fell. He fell silent, watching. "Once this is over I don't know how I'll run SI without her." Tony said quietly.

"I'm sure it will work out." He offered lamely.

"Yeah I'm sure." Tony smiled. He had suspicions it was a fake smile but he didn't press. It wasn't like he knew anything want running a company to offer advice.

He quickly tossed the ribs in since they needed several hours to cook then made himself and Tony sandwiches. They ate in silence. As he was about to stand to wash his plate his arm began to make a shrill whine. Tony bolted up and moved to check the source. "J, add a 63785 Servo to the list." He called. Tony flashed him a smile.

"Sir. Mr. Stane's plane has requested permission to land." 

"Track him J. I need to know where he is. Can you get video feed?"

"I believe so sir." 

A moment later video of a small private airport flickered info view. It was a solid ten minutes before a plane taxied into view. The camera feed changed. Obie was climbing out of the plane and two men behind him were struggling with a large wooden crate. "J check the log what's in there?" Tony said.

"There are no records of any imports sir. Though it does state there should be three more people on board. Perhaps to accommodate the weight of the container?"

"Fine. Keep me posted everywhere he goes J." 

"Of course sir. It appears based on his phone that he is currently returning home."

He watched the men load the container into a van and it too disappeared from view.

Tony turned to him. "Ready to finish up for today?" He gestured to the metal arm. He nodded and returned to the couch. 

Tony

He followed James to the couch and dropped easily back against the other man. Carefully guiding the arm back over he turned his attention to continuing to rework the wire harness. He could have easily finished this all earlier but honestly he wasn't inclined to rush. Every second cuddled close felt like a balm on his frayed existence. 

He'd always been affectionate, tactile. One of a small host of shrinks he'd seen in his lifetime said it stemmed from not being loved enough as a child. Probably not wrong there. Hell his parents had made it abundantly clear all his life that he wasn't wanted. Howard had no problems saying it directly to his face which no shrink ever believed. 'Tony telling lies about your father isn't going to solve this. What's really going on?'.

He shook his head slightly. He was glad James couldn't feel what he was doing. He wondered how long he'd been trying to finger tightened a solid piece of metal. He returned to carefully rerouting a wire away from the gear it had been grinding against. Behind him he could feel James relaxing too. At least he wasn't the only one enjoying.

This is probably some kind of fucking Stockholm syndrome. He chided himself. Just one more thing in the 10 mile list titled What's wrong with Tony's brain. He resconnected the wire and moved to the next. James shifted under him, leaning back farther into the couch. He could hear the man's breathing changing slowly. Deepening. He was falling asleep.

He didn't slow his work until a soft snore slipped past James' lips. He let his arms fall to the reactor. It already felt so familiar. So much a part of him. He stared up at the arm he'd spent 4 long days designing, his eyes going fuzzy. Not his arm anymore. A destroyed vision. Ripped away everything that made it special. He would fix it. And now Obie was back. He needed to know where the man had been. What he was doing now? He couldn't sleep now. There was too much to do. His eyes drifted shut. He pried them open. Blinking he traced a wire that needed to be pulled back into place. Just. In a second. He would just rest for a second.

He snapped awake as his pillow moved. He was so warm and comfortable. Maybe just a few more minutes. No. He needed to be awake for something? He blinked wearily. A heavy weight wrapped around his side, fingers against his stomach. Shit. He was supposed to be fixing the arm, not cuddling it. Carefully he pulled it off and propped the wrist back on his knee. He'd just started to pull the wire he'd feel asleep considering when James jumped.

"Hmm?" The man mumbled. 

"Welcome back." He said. Carefully guiding the wire. If the other man didn't know they'd both been asleep he couldn't be mad about it.

"S'time's it?" The man mumbled. 

"Umm." He turned looking for the clock. "7."  _ Seven? _ He'd been asleep for hours. 

"Damn. Sorry. I must have been tired. Were you able to still work?" He asked softly.

"Yeah. Almost done." 

"Thanks again Tony. I owe you." 

"I'm not in the hands of someone who wanted to imprison me or worse. I'd call it even." His head was still so fuzzy. He felt warm and heavy. It would be no hardship to fall right back asleep. 

It had felt so nice, the warm weight of the metal against his side as he'd sleep. The sound of the man's pulse on his ears. The slow rise and fall. Fuck! He blinked furiously, realizing he'd been starting to doze again. "Aren't you tired Tony?" The man asked softly.

_ So tired _ . "No. I'm okay." He lied.

"You need to at least try to sleep tonight." 

He nodded. "I will." 

He had tried. Every night for days. Every time he laid down his heart would race and his chest would go tight. He didn't even have to think of anything anymore. Fucking pavlovian response now. Lay down to sleep? Panic attack. He didn't even want to get near the fucking bed. 

He secured the final wire and allowed himself a few more minutes of closeness before sitting slowly. His back hurt from being in that position so long. "Ready to get the plates back on?" He asked softly. The other man nodded, sat up straighter.

He began carefully lining up each plate with its track and tightened back in. It was wonderful to watch the plates come back online, watch James manipulate them. He had wanted to stay in the hospital, wanted to watch him use the arm, track how it integrated but Pepper had insisted he come home and sleep. He hated naps. His brain felt full of sand. 

He couldn't help running his fingers lightly over the plates as he re-attached then. If James noticed he hadn't said anything which probably meant it was fine for him to continue. 

He hesitated a moment, holding the solid construction of the hand. He'd worked so hard, been so careful to match that Obie hadn't even noticed the difference in the metal. Or maybe he had and left it alone, deeming it too difficult to replicate. Instead of sliding the hand back on he held it for James to see. "This is vibranium." He told him softly. 

The reaction alone was worth the loss of secrecy. James's eyes went wide with shock. Gingerly as though only just seeing it the man took it from him. He continued speaking. "That's how it can be so thin while still being strong." He watched James carefully turn it palm up and touch the metal lightly. He'd worked for hours trying to color match the vibranium to the other metal. Vibranium as a whole really preferred to stay black. He'd considered briefly going at it the other way, turning the rest of the metal black which would have been easy but he hadn't had time to test the potential heat ramifications of all black metal so he'd made it work.

He considered telling James it would be much easier for him to put the metal glove back over his own hand because lining everything up really would be easier to do by himself. He couldn't quite bring himself to miss out on one last opportunity to feel that metal hand move against his. James seemed careful to the point of obsession about never touching anyone with his metal hand. Even when he'd been mad earlier he'd lashed out with the non-metal arm.

Once James passed it back he carefully began to work to line everything back up. It was a little finicky, lining up all the fingers to their respective sections. He knew it was probably too much sensation to the point of discomfort for James but the other man didn't complain. 

He tightened down the locking points that secured everything to the frame. Carefully he turned James’ hand palm up. "Let me know if you don't feel any of this okay?"  _ So many more effective ways to test it's working. _ He pushed the thought away. He knew the real reason he was going about it this way. His brain didn't need to remind him. Slowly he ran the pads if his fingers over the planes of the metal hand. Using both his hands he manipulated the metal hand closed then opened. It felt entirely too good. He forced his hands to drop before he popped a fucking boner sitting there in the couch. "Everything looks good." He managed lamely. 

James didn't seem to notice anything off. "I'll go check the ribs." The other man said happily. As if on cue his stomach growled. James laughed easily as he crossed to the kitchen. He found himself joining in. It was all too easy. Something would be coming soon. He'd fuck this up somehow and the other shoe would drop.

James pulled the ribs out of the oven and the amazing smell of BBQ washed over his mind pushing away the worry at least momentarily. He stood. "Sir?" He turned to look at the laptop. "It appears Mr. Stane returned directly home after leaving the airport. He has not connected his work laptop to the internet since his return."

"Thanks J. me posted."

He followed James into the kitchen, ignoring the impulse to pull the other man into a hug. He grabbed a plate and loaded it up before sitting at the table. He heard James digging in the fridge, the soft clink of glass on glass. "You know I don't care if you drink right?" He took a guess. James straightened to study him. "You sure?"

He nodded. "Survived three months in a cave without. Pretty sure I can see you drink it and survive." James nodded. 

"So you really were gone all that time?" James asked. 

He nodded. 

"Do you mind talking...I mean. What happened there?"

He closed his eyes, the memories were suddenly so close. "The convoy I was in was attacked by some group, the ten rings? They were supposed to kill me and didn't. An ally there gave me this to save my life." He tapped the reactor. "Eventually I escaped."

It was by every single standard in existence the worst retelling of any story probably in the history of retelling. He took a bite of rib to be sure he didn't open his mouth and spill out any more of the darkness that filled his chest. Yinsen and shrapnel and water torture and armor. He forced the thoughts back down. James was speaking. How long had he been talking?

"Rings when I was there. They took out another squad. When we got there they'd already taken"

Memories threatened to pull him back again. James mouth was still moving. He could hear the warm tone of his words but couldn't make out anything he was saying.  _ Why the fuck can't you fucking pay attention? _ Howard's voice screamed in his mind. He stood sharply. "Sorry." He said, realizing he'd just lurched up in the middle of whatever James had been saying. "I'll be right back." He said quickly before darting to the bathroom. 

In the quiet he could hear the blood pounding in his ears. How long had that been happening? He took several slow breaths firmly driving back the memories. He wet his hands and wiped them over his face. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. He hated his eyes. Brown, just like Howard. Hair darkest brown leaning to black, just like Howard. Jawline, just like Howard. War profiteer, just like Howard. Murder, just like Howard. He pushed the thoughts away. Letting his head drop he saw he was gripping the edges of the sink so tightly his knuckles were white. He let go. 

He took a few more steadying breaths before leaving the bathroom. "You okay?" James asked as soon as he came into view.

"Yeah. Little barbecue sauce got in my eye." He lied.

"Ahh. Been there." James voice was sympathetic. He felt bad for lying.

The rest of the dinner passed easily. Hell the rest of the evening did. After they ate he sat to work on a design but ended up eyes glued to the channels as James surfed through. 

At 11 James turned off the TV and headed for his bedroom. "Don't forget you said you would try to sleep tonight Tony." The man called from down the hall.

"Yes dear." He called back. James door clicked shut.

He rubbed his face as the quiet settled over the house. Obie would be asleep. He had nothing left to add to any of the projects in front of him. He'd made a plan for fixing James's arm as soon as the parts came. He had nothing he could work on. No way to distract himself. He felt like he could sleep for years but the past days had taught him better. Even sleeping on the couch had been no good. In his lab he'd slept on the couch those first few nights home. Why not now?

Jarvis had chalked it up to such extreme exhaustion when he'd first arrived home. He'd been effectively blacking out instead of sleeping. Understanding didn't make it less annoying. 

A thought slipped past his mind. If he could replace the negative connection with laying down maybe he could rest. Accepting the idea before doubt could catch seed he marched down the hall to his bedroom, stepped inside, and stripped. He dropped down onto the bed and ignoring the pounding of his chest snaked a hand down to wrap around his limp cock. 

The first few tugs didn't feel like much but as his mind slid back to the feeling of James metal hand moving against his hand his cock began to fill. His other hand roamed lazily across his chest to capture one of his nipples. He scratched lightly, feeling the sparks of pleasure shooting straight down his spine. Instinctively he ached into the pinch which just bordered on painful.

His fingers moved across his chest. He hesitated a moment before experimentally tracing the pad of his fingers around the reactor housing. It was sensitive but he couldn't quite decide if it felt good. Instead he turned his attention to his other nipple, rolling and pinching. 

He trailed his fingertips lightly down his chest, across his belly and down his hip. Passing for a moment to tease the head of his cock before sliding down to cradle his balls. Carefully he rolled and tugged in time with the strokes of his other hand. The sparks of pain only drove the pleasure higher.

He shifted, moving to tap his fingers against his asshole. He considered shoving them in, maybe just use his own precum but he pushed the idea back. The last thing he needed was a sore ass tomorrow. Fuck being around James at all was tempting enough. The last thing he needed was a reminder of this in the morning to send his mind straight to the gutter.

His free hand moved up to his lips and he sucked on his fingers, imagining the weight of metal sliding past his lips instead of flesh. The way the metal would warm in the heat of his mouth. He swallowed a moan before it could slip through his lips. His hips twitched pressing his full cock into his hand. His hand dropped away from his cock which bounced against his stomach at the loss of sensation. He considered edging for a moment, holding off as long as he could, driving up the pleasure until his whole body shook but he pushed the idea aside. He could tease himself for hours and he needed sleep. Quick would be best.

He wrapped his spit slicked hand around his cock and resumed his previous pace. His mind drifted straight back to the man sleeping just two doors away. James didn't seem like he'd probably been with a man before. That was fine. He'd helped plenty of straight men figure out batting for both sides wasn't bad. 

God. Those metal fingers slipping inside him, so hard and unyielding. He shifted, slipping his own fingers past the ring of muscle. The sensation coupled with the fantasy in his mind was all it took. He didn't even reach his prostate before he was falling over the edge. He continued stroking his cock long after pleasure tuned to pain, not quite ready to let go of the fantasy playing across his mind.

Finally shakily he stood, washed up and pulled on a pair of fresh boxers before dropping into bed. He distantly registered the edges of a panic attack rising as his mind shut off and finally he dropped off to sleep.

Bucky

  
  


He groaned as his eyes opened. The whisper of whatever good dream he'd been having floating away. He didn't remember what it was but he wanted to go back to it. Good dreams were such a rare treat, he normally had nightmares or nothing anymore, he felt cheated that he couldn't remember.

He closed his eyes considering going back to sleep but he was wide awake and the part of his mind that never got the memo they were out of the military was screaming about how he'd be late. With a sigh he stood and slumped off to the shower. He flicked on the light and jumped. The freshly polished arm gleamed gently in the light. 

Memories of the hours Tony had spent fixing and cleaning the arm flooded back into his mind. That contact had felt far too good. He needed to get laid. 

He pushed that thought aside. He needed coffee. He wondered if Jarvis had ever managed to get into Stane's computer last night. He wasn't sure what Tony thought he'd find on Stane's computer but the man seemed convinced he needed it and who was he to argue? That was all way over his pay grade.

He stepped under the warm spray of the shower. Carefully he moved the arm under the spray. It felt surprisingly good. He'd always assumed that's why the arm shocked him. He'd got it wet by accident in the field. He'd never considered it was the wires causing it. Tony had looked so incensed at the idea that he was never supposed to get it wet. He couldn't help but smile at the memory.

And how focused Tony had looked as he worked, how pleased he'd looked when it was polished. He pushed those thoughts away and quickly finished showering.

As he dressed he listened. He didn't hear Tony chattering to Jarvis. Maybe the man had finally gone to sleep. He stepped into the hall. Tony wasn't at the table. That had to be a good sign. He'd made about 4 steps into the hall when Tony's door banged open and the man ran headlong into his side.

Instinctively he caught Tony to keep him from overbalancing. Tony scrabbled against his side, seemingly torn between continuing to run and trying to tuck farther under his arm. "Tony!" He said loudly. "Tony it's okay. It's just a nightmare!"

Hiding seemed to have won over running as Tony clung to him. Now that he wasn't moving as much he could feel the man shaking. "Come on Tony. Come sit down." He said half guiding half dragging as Tony took unstable steps forward. He dropped into the couch and Tony came with him still shaking. 

He thought once they were sitting Tony would want some space but he'd been wrong. Instead Tony balled up so small and tight he looked more like a child than a man. Hesitantly he let his hand rest of the other man's side as Tony shook against his ribs. "Gotta breathe Tony." He said and Tony's head nodded sharply against him. He felt the man's side move as Tony pulled in a long slow breath then let it back out. 

Slowly breath by breath the shaking passed. Tony remained tucked under his arm. He was glad to be able to help but wasn't exactly keen on snuggling with the other man. It felt too intimate. Then again he'd been okay with it last night when it was for his own benefit. Hell it was the best damn sleep he'd gotten in months. Plus it wasn't hard to remember nights he'd woken up alone and freaking out. He would have accepted help from anyone then, man or woman. It wasn't that strange.

"You were in the army." Tony mumbled into his ribs. The man's voice was harsh and gravely. "You've killed someone before."

It didn't sound like a question but Tony seemed to be waiting for an answer. "Yeah Tony. I have."

"How do you get them out of your head? How do you make it stop?" The second question came out thin and tight. 

Who had Stark killed? Well. No that was the wrong question. Through his weapons he'd indirectly killed thousands. But that question was too thick with guilt to be something like that. 

He knew how he handled it. He'd been at war. The people he'd killed had been actively engaged in trying to kill him. He'd simply managed to take them out first. He doubted that applied for whatever Tony saw behind his eyes. Instead he aimed for general.

"It's not easy Tony." He said honestly. "It gets less painful over time. But it does take time." Tony took a deep shuddering breath and nodded. 

Several minutes of silence stretched as Tony's breathing slowly evened out. "I'm sorry." Tony whispered. "I. I'm sorry I should move." The smaller man started to shift.

Before his brain even caught up with his mouth he heard himself say. "It's okay Tony. You don't have to." It seemed to be all the permission Tony needed. Tony dropped heavily back into his side and went still. 

He didn't exactly regret it stopping Tony but at the same time he definitely wasn't comfortable. He'd seen the news. He knew Stark would go either way. The last thing he needed was Tony thinking he was the same. Still Tony didn't try to do anything other than lay still in the silence. The weight and the warmth of having anyone close felt nice too. He let himself relax slowly. 

He wasn't sure how long the quiet stretched on. It began to press in on his ears, feeling too much like the silence before an attack. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. Tony twitched a bit at the sudden sound but then slowly turned his face to be able to watch the TV. He surfed through channels finally landing on a nature show. That should be safe enough since he had no idea what may or may not have happened to Tony in Afghanistan. Tony had definitely proven last night he didn't want to share.

He noticed, as the show played, that Tony was moving slowly. Inch by inch he was scooting down. By the time the credits rolled Tony's head had moved from his ribs to resting on his leg. Tony had stretched out to, no longer balled up. He considered telling the man to fuck off, he was obviously feeling better. He even opened his mouth a couple of times to say it but each time the words fizzled and died in his throat. 

Tony's breathing was starting to deepen. He wondered how much sleep Tony had actually managed the night before. He'd heard of people with extreme insomnia. Hell he'd even had a few bouts with insomnia as a teen but he couldn't begin to fathom trying to exist on as little sleep as Tony seemed to have gotten. It had been a solid week and a half, pushing two since he'd picked Tony up and he wasn't sure the man had slept a whole night since. 

It wasn't long till Tony's body went lax as he fell asleep. Picking up the remote he flipped channels. He settled in NCIS but turned the volume way down just in case. He closed his eyes. He was sitting on the couch with a mostly naked Tony fucking Stark trying to be considerate while the man slept. The man who had fucked up everything. He forced that train of thought to stop. Tony hadn't done anything to cause the missile to be manufactured incorrectly. Tony hadn't known about the deaths. Tony had made him a fucking million dollar arm that had been disassembled without his knowledge. None of the bad had been Stark.

He felt strangely unmoored. On the one hand it was a relief that he hadn't offered his guest room to the man who'd actually ruined his life but on the other he'd spent so much time dedicated to the idea it was all Tony's fault he felt off kilter knowing it was false. He didn't quite know how to go forward.

He glanced over at Tony. The man's chest rose and fell slowly and rhythmically. He could see a several scars down Tony's arm, a few over his ribs. Nothing that looked intentional, just a lifetime spent in the shop. And what had that reaction about his father been about? He'd seen plenty of old interviews with Howard. He was always full of laughter and wise ass jokes. Why had Tony been so upset when he brought him up. 

Tony's hands were tucked tightly against his chest, covering the reactor. He wondered if Tony had always slept like that or if it was something new.  _ Not like it fucking matters _ . He chided himself. He could still vividly remember the warmth of Tony's fingers as he polished each of the plates the day before. After the complete foreignness had faded it was been so comforting. He filed that thought squarely under things that would never be said out loud.

"Sir?" 

"He's asleep Jarvis. What's up?" He turned instinctively to look at the laptop.

"Mr. Stane has entered the New York office. I am tracking and recording him."

"Sounds good. Speak up if there is a change and don't forget to pull the computer stuff when he signs in."

"I never forget Mr. Barnes." Jarvis sounded amused as he spoke.

Yeah that was a stupid thing to say to a computer. He thought but at least Stane was back at work. That meant Tony could start figuring things out and get out of his hair soon. That's what he wanted. Right?

Tony shifted in his sleep pulling his attention back to the man. Without thinking he placed his hand back on Tony's side. Tony stilled; his breathing evened back out. 

As the morning stretched on the fact he hadn't eaten or had coffee started to push against his mind. He considered attempting to extract himself from under Tony without waking the man but he didn't see that working. His eyes felt heavy. Maybe just a few more minutes. He shifted to better rest his head on the back of the couch and let his eyes drop closed.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warning**
> 
> Some descriptions of past abuse, both verbal/mental and physical domestic in this chapter. I try to avoid anything too detailed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

Tony

For the second time in as many days he woke feeling warm and sluggish. He blinked slowly. Living room couch. With James. He'd managed to scoot down till his head was pillowed on the other man's thigh and then promptly fell asleep. Stellar fucking job. Still apparently James hadn't minded much if the hand resting on his ribs was any indication. And judging by the program on TV James had been awake after he fell asleep and not tried to force him to wake up.

Carefully he slipped out from under the man's arm. Moving quietly he slipped down the hall to his room. He showered, shaved and dressed before returning to the living room. James still snoozed quietly. 

"Sir—"

"Volume 10%"

Jarvis' voice was quiet when he continued. "Mr. Stane returned to work today at 8:39 a.m. I have been tracking and recording him since his return."

"Good job J, anything to report?"

"He's attended multiple meetings and spoken with many of the company heads. It seemed they believe he was on leave for bereavement."

He snorted, rummaging through the fridge for what he needed to make for breakfast. "Anything else?"

"Not at this time. He has not gone to his computer, nor made any obvious changes to the company so far."

"Good J. Keep it up."

Glancing up to make sure James still slept he set to work. "4 eggs, ½ cup milk, ½ water, butter." He mumbled the ingredients as he added them. "Brandy." His eyes searched the random assortment of alcohol James kept on a shelf in the kitchen. "Brandy!" He pulled a bottle off the shelf. He stubbornly refused to take a swallow instead adding it to the batter and promptly returning it to the shelf.

He'd promised himself he wasn't going to do the party thing anymore and until he felt confident he could stop at one that meant no alcohol.

Pepper would have be proud at least. She'd never been shy about telling him she hated how much he drank. He felt a lump form which he pushed away. Get home. Then, when the fate of millions isn't in your company's hands, then grieve. He mixed the batter and set it aside turning his attention to the strawberries.

His eyes kept drifting back to James as he worked. By some strange miracle the man let him stay around in spite of ruining so much of his life. He'd let incompetent people get hired into the company that failed uphold quality control. Then he'd let Stane steal and part out the arm which had ultimately lead to his family leaving home. And all that was not including continuing to help him through the panic attacks and freak outs. He owed James big time.

"J. When will the gears be arriving?"

"Tomorrow sir. The servos will be in 3 days."

He nodded. "And the vibranium?"

"Safely home. Dum-E and U spent all morning moving it to a safe place and securing it."

"Thanks J."

"Certainly sir." 

Strawberries chopped he turned to look for something to cook with. Finding a skillet he warmed it over the cooktop. This was much easier with the correct cooking tools but fuck it. He coated the pan in butter and added the batter. It took almost no time for the crepe to brown on the bottom. "Then out of the pan, powdered sugar, strawberries, and fold." He coached himself through the steps before adding more batter to the pan to start a second. As he finished the fourth James stirred.

"Tony?" James mumbled, looking over at him.

"Breakfast is ready." He said with a grin.

"Breakfast?" James stood and rubbing his eyes crossed to the kitchen. 

"Sleep good?" Tony asked as he quickly washed up.

"I. Yeah. Did you?" James looked confused.

He smiled. "Yeah. Thanks for helping me this morning."

"What's?" James motioned to the food. 

"Strawberry and brandy crepes." He said.

James blinked. "Crepes? You know how to make crepes?"

"See for yourself." He cut a piece and held it on a fork to James' mouth. He waited, curious if James was going to let himself be fed or not. He could see James half awake mind seeming to struggle with the same dilemma. James leaned forward taking the bite off the fork. He couldn't help the smile that spread as he watched James chew and swallow the bite.

"Fuck Tony." A shiver of pleasure shot straight to his cock as he imagined far more exciting reasons for those words to leave James mouth. He shifted, making sure any bulge wouldn't be visible. "I think from here on maybe you should do all the cooking." James said.

He laughed. "Told you." He said. He considered pushing his luck for a moment trying to feed him another bite but decided against it. Instead he passed the plate and fork to James and grabbed his own. He cut himself a bite on the walk to the table. The brandy burned off during cooking giving the whole thing a caramel flavor. Adding the vanilla and strawberry flavors made it taste amazing.

He sat at the small kitchen table. James dropped into a seat across from him still looking half awake. The crepe already had several more bites missing. He couldn't help but smile. "So what are your plans today?" James question drew his attention back to the other man.

"Don't have much." He admitted. "Tracking Obie is the main priority but Jarvis is handling that. I may go onto the garage later and familiarize myself with everything there."

James nodded. "I'll go to the store, grab whatever you need for dinner if you can write it down."

"Yeah sure." he said. 

The rest of the meal passed by in silence. Well relative silence. Mr far too sexy for his own good continued to make noises of appreciation that went straight to his dick but otherwise it was quiet. When he finished he stood and cleaned his plate before grabbing a pen and paper. 

"Chicken or shrimp or lobster?" He asked as James re-entered the kitchen to wash his plate.

"Chicken." James said. He nodded and quickly filled out the ingredients he needed before passing the paper over. James glanced over it but if he had any opinions he didn't comment. Instead he just smiled, "see you when I get back."

"If you don't see me you know where I'll be." He said. James nodded.

He waited for the crunch of gravel as James left for the store. He grabbed the laptop and the tools he'd used last night before heading out to the garage. 

He plugged Jarvis in then carefully returned the tools to their correct locations. His eyes kept pulling to the bike. He walked over to it, running his fingers gently over the seat and up across the handlebars.

He sat on the floor next to James's bike. It really was beautiful, the parts the other man had restored. Still it made his skin crawl just a little. Seeing it made some tiny illogical part of his brain look for Trey, as though the appearance of a bike so similar to the one Trey had ridden would cause him to come bursting through the doors of the garage.

Trey had come into his life like a blonde haired blue eyed hurricane and left a trail of destruction in his wake. He'd been 17 when he'd graduated top of his class from MIT. As he walked in the front doors Howard had immediately announced how glad he was that Tony had gotten that 'stupid robotics shit out of his system so he could focus on the family business.' Except it wasn't out of his system and the last thing he wanted was to build weapons.

Howard, in a bid to force him onto the 'correct path', had sent him to attend a weapons expo alone to represent SI. Within the first 10 minutes he'd met Trey. Trey was the first person his age he'd ever met who could keep up with him when he got talking and actually understand. Funny, outgoing, attractive, charismatic as fuck and smart to boot. He'd fallen head over heels. He'd spent every waking moment, and several unwaking moments of the expo with Trey. 

After the long weekend, he had returned home packed his things and moved in with the other man. Howard had stood at the door practically frothing with rage telling him if he left he'd never be welcomed home. That first night with Trey, he'd laid in the other man's arms and for the first time all the expectations of him melted away and for the first time he felt peace.

The first few months had been nothing but happiness. Trey listened to everything he'd been through, understood all his strangeness and habits and loved and accepted him anyway. The press caught wind somehow that they were together but they had weathered that storm happily in each other's arms.

It wasn't until about 6 months in that the first cracks of discontent began to appear. He'd been reading through a magazine and found one of his personal designs being attributed back to Trey's family business. He'd confronted Trey who had apologized saying they'd worked so closely on the design he'd forgotten it wasn't originally his idea.

That should have been the end of it. But then a week later the same thing happened again. This time Trey had definitely not collaborated with him at all on the idea. He approached Trey and for the first time the other man yelled at him. Tony was living there for free, so what if Trey took a design to help pay some bills? Trey has held him as he cried after, apologized for losing his temper. He'd promised it would never happen again.

And for awhile it didn't. Things went back to normal. Or at least mostly normal. There was a tension there but he was sure he was only imagining it. Then one night Tony had returned drunk from a night out with his friends. He didn't remember what that fight had been about exactly, only that afterwards he didn't go out drinking anymore.

Slowly the fights increased in frequency. He and Trey celebrated his 18th birthday alone. Trey didn't like his friends, they were a bad influence and so he'd stopped hanging out with them. The fights were, at that point, a daily occurrence. Each night he would lay awake in bed coaching himself on all the things he could do differently to insure they'd have a good next day. Don't say this. Don't do this thing. Make sure to definitely do that. If he could just change a little more they could have a good day and things would finally be like those first few months.

And then one day Trey had come home very very drunk. He didn't remember what the fight had been about only that it ended with Trey punching him.

He'd almost run then. He had almost realized how bad it had gotten. But he was stupid. Trey had held him, cried with him apologizing over and over, and for at least a week after things were back to normal. Finally it was as he remembered.

But paradise could never last, not when he was involved. The fighting resumed though thankfully without the physical violence. Trey had convinced him to make more weapons that were now being produced by Trey's family which had moved into direct competition with SI. He hated his family, hated their business but deep in his mind he was aware it wasn't right. He loved Trey and wanted to be with the man but he couldn't go against his family's livelihood.

He'd confronted Trey, told him he couldn't do it anymore. He should have waited for a time when Trey wasn't already drunk, already agitated. He didn't really remember the fight but he remembered waking up in the hospital. Broken arm, mild concussion, paparazzi clawing at the windows and doors.

He'd come home from the hospital to his stuff all over the lawn. Trey's phone number was changed as were the locks. In the end he'd had no choice but to pack up his things and return home. 

Howard had stood waiting in the entry, had followed him to his room the whole time scolding him for letting himself get tricked, for letting his designs get stolen.

In hindsight he wished he'd have run Trey's overpriced over modified bike off a cliff. Something to get back at the man that had ruined him for so long. He never would have though. Trey had him so convinced every fight was his fault. He just needed to change himself a little more. Stop talking to one more friend, stop doing one more thing, stop acting one more way and finally things would be good and they wouldn't have to fight anymore. And when Trey started hitting him that was his fault too. Trey would always seem so apologetic afterwards, holding Tony as he broke apart it almost made the fighting worth it. 

He'd been too stupid to see what was there in front of him. Even when Trey broke his arm. Even when the police had questioned him he had defended Trey, insisted it was a shop accident. The look in the officer's eyes told him they knew. They even made Trey leave the room to talk to him but he continued to insist and finally they could do nothing more so they left. 

The smug grin on Howard's face when he'd walked in the front door almost broke him. He'd gone upstairs, locked himself in his room and refused to come out. 

Over a month he'd stayed alone in his room and when he finally emerged it was to demonstrate Jarvis' first prototype. "From the ashes." Ana had told him as she folded him into a hug.

He pushed a hand through his hair. Reaching out he ran a hand over the cool metal of the bike. Trey had been the first and last serious relationship he'd ever been in. It wasn't worth it. Wasn't worth the risk. One night stands were better, easier, no strings attached. 

"Sir, Mr. Stane has signed into his computer. I am downloading all the requested information as we speak."

"Good J." His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "Just make a mirror copy of his computer. Watch for any viruses."

"Always sir."

"Thanks J."

He turned to look over the bike. The parts missing were easy enough to find but expensive. Maybe he could buy them for James as an added thank you once this all passed by. He felt a cold wash of dread at the idea of returning to run SI truly alone. Rhodey had taken him back after Trey disappeared, the only one to take him back. And now he was gone. Pepper was gone. Obie would be gone. He'd be truly alone. 

He lurched to his feet coming to stand next to the computer. "Show me what you've got J."

He knew Obie's filing system well enough, since Obie had insisted he used it when he took over at SI. That knowledge made it easy to find the shipping manifests that didn't quite fit, the invoices that were just slightly off. The records proved Obie had been double dealing since long before Howard's death.

The crunch of gravel told him James was back. He carried Jarvis back up to the house. "Hey! Figured you'd stay out there longer." James greeted him as he stepped inside.

"Obie logged into his computer."

"Yeah?" James paused unpacking to look at him.

"He's been double dealing since before I even took over. Look at this." He set Javis back into the one empty space on the table. "Look." He began to scroll manifests. James leaned over his chair. Before he could think not to he leaned back in his chair. He could feel the heat of James skin even though the slats in the stool kept them from actually touching.

"Tony wha—" his head snapped back to the screen. It was stopped on a video. His heart leapt into his throat. There he sat, bruised, bloody and bandaged surrounded by his captors. His mouth went dry. He remembered this, however vaguely. He'd woken up. The bag had been pulled off, the light burned his eyes.

"J, translate and play."

"Tony…" James started but the video started. 

The start of the words echoed so vividly in his mind it took a moment for him to realize the words were being spoken in English. "You did not tell us that the target you paid us to kill was the great Tony Stark. As you can see Obadiah Stane your deception will cost you dearly. The price to kill Tony Stark has just gone up. W—"

The clip paused abruptly as James leaned over him and snapped the spacebar. The resounding silence was filled with a harsh ragged sound. It took him far longer than it should have for him to realize it was the sound of his own breathing. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I just. Sorry." He mumbled. Taking several breaths he spoke again. "So it looks like Stane has been double dealing since starting at SI." His voice sounded rough in his ears.

Bucky

His stomach felt like it had turned to lead as he stared at the grainy pixelated video of Tony sitting surrounded by his torturers. And when the man began to talk he felt like ice rushed through him. Tony's breathing turned ragged as the video played. Finally he couldn't handle any more and paused the video. Tony tensed in front of him as though caught on pause himself. 

He couldn't pull his eyes away from the still image. To hear someone was captured was one thing to see even this was something entirely different. When Tony spoke again his voice was ragged and tight and of course he was apologizing. Only Tony could see a video of his torturers, panic, then apologize for panicking. For fucks sake. Tony spoke again. "So it looks like Stane has been double dealing since starting at SI." 

"Yeah. Some of those looked really old." He agreed, happy to have something else to talk about.

"So I'm going to—" but whatever Tony was going to do he never heard. Tony's finger had stretched out and tapped the right arrow as he talked and a new video had appeared and began to play. He heard shouting in the same language as the original tape and the sound of water before Tony was lurching out of his chair with enough force the bar stool fell with a clatter. 

"Jarvis pause!" He shouted, trying to drown out some of the sound as Tony struggled forward a few steps before collapsing and curling into a ball hands over his ears. The video paused, a still frame of Tony clear. He was knelt, surrounded by men as they pulled his head out of a basin of water. 

He knelt next to Tony who was mumbling fast enough he wasn't catching much of anything the man was actually saying. He pulled Tony to his chest and the man scrambled to grab hold of him. "It's okay. You're safe." He said quietly as Tony wound his icy cold hands down into his shirt, clinging to the fabric like it was the last solid thing on Earth. A tight choking noise slipped through Tony's mouth.

"Breathe Tony." He said firmly, though he kept his voice quiet.

The gasping breath gave way to what was unmistakably a sob. He rubbed Tony's back and rested his chin on the other man's shoulder. His problems felt wholly insignificant when faced with video of the exact trauma Tony had lived through. And that had been what? Maybe a few months ago? Maybe less than a month ago? How long had it taken to break the other man's resolve? How long until he escaped? 

A soft hiccup escaped Tony and he hugged the other man closer. It still felt strange but he could push his own feelings aside. He wasn't a fucking monster and holy fuck after something like  _ that. _ And he'd yelled at Tony, tossed him around. He was a monster. Fuck. He pulled Tony closer and Tony burrowed in.

He didn't know how long they sat there on the floor before the tears finally slowed and Tony's breath began to stabilize. When he was confident Tony could handle it he pulled back. "Come on." Tony lurched away like he'd hit him. He ignored the reaction and stood, offering his hand. Tony allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. 

He didn't drop Tony's hand once the man stood. Instead he held fast and began to guide Tony to the couch. Tony, after figuring out what was going on, practically vaulted into the couch. He sat lifting his metal arm and Tony curled under it and against his side. He caught a glimpse of Tony's face a the other man burrowed into his side. Red eyes, surrounded by purple. He looked so tired. Tony really needed to sleep more. 

Tony shifted, squirming as he worked in getting comfortable. Slowly, cautiously Tony's arm wrapped around his middle. He didn't like it. It felt weird but right now the with that image of the terror in Tony's eyes as he was pulled out of the water burned into his mind he couldn't bring himself to care.

He rested his arm on Tony's side careful that the plates wouldn't pinch him. He turned on the TV. "Anything you want to watch?" He asked. 

Tony shook his head. He surfed through the channels looking for anything great before settling on NCIS which seemed to always be on. "I'm sorry." Tony mumbled into his shirt.

"Why?" He asked before his brain caught up with his mouth. He started to speak again but Tony beat him to it.

"'S...stupid. Shouldn't freak out." Tony mumbled back.

"Tony you were held captive and tortured and just saw a video of it. Pretty sure that's a textbook reason to freak out."

Tony mumbled incoherently but at least he didn't apologize again. Based on the episode count they spent at least two hours curled up together. If he ignored the fact it was another guy he could easily admit it was nice having that closeness again. Tony dozed on and off which the man sure as fuck needed. 

As the fifth episode started Tony scooted up cautiously until Tony’s cheek rested against the seam between metal and flesh. His arm moved up to, to cross the middle of his torso instead of his waist. He considered drawing the line but Tony immediately settled in and didn't try anything so he allowed it.

"Thank you." Tony whispered softly.

"Of course. Trust me there are things that freak me out too." He admitted.

Tony tucked closer. "Like what?" He closed his eyes. Of course Tony would ask. He'd definitely seen the other man's demons it was only fair to share his own right?

"After the explosion, I blacked out at first. They thought the damage would be enough I would stay out. They didn't try to give me anything because I honestly don't think they expected me to survive. In the ambulance I woke up. The sounds and the voices yelling and the pain. I can't hear ambulance sirens anymore. Well. I have gotten better but some days it really hits hard."

Tony nodded. "I woke up too." He whispered. Reaching up Tony tapped his nail with a soft click against the reactor. When Yi— when they were doing the surgery. I woke up. I can't remember anything ever hurting so much and I could feel." Tony stopped took a slow breath and started again. "I could feel the hand inside me." A shudder ran down Tony's body.

"That sounds horrible." He said honestly.

Tony's arm around his ribs tightened and he squeezed Tony in return, careful not to use enough pressure to make the gears pop.

"So what are you making for dinner?" He asked, hoping to get the subject into anything lighter. Tony jumped, eyes flashing for a clock. He tugged Tony back down. "Easy, only a question. You've got time." Tony softened against him

"Risotto. It's one of my favorites." Tony answered. 

He nodded. "Sounds good. Maybe you should lay down again first? Try to get a little more sleep?"

Tony didn't argue. Instead Tony stretched out, head coming to rest on his leg. Without really thinking his flesh hand moved to Tony's hair. He was surprised how fucking soft it was. Tony let out a soft sigh and within minutes was snoring softly.

He watched the way the light played of his arm as it rose and fell with Tony's breath. He couldn't even begin to fathom everything Tony had survived in the last few months. Two kidnappings, torture, the basic theft of his company. The list went on and on. The fact he hadn't simply keeled over from stress was probably nothing short of a miracle. 

He let Tony sleep several hours. Once the sun had fully set and his stomach was starting to growl loud enough it would probably wake Tony soon anyway, he finally spoke. "Tony. Time to wake up." Tony buried his face in his leg. 

"Hrumml" Tony mumbled. He laughed.

"Come on Tony." With a groan Tony lifted his head. "Time to cook."

Tony nodded groggily. "J, password those videos." Tony mumbled. 

"Already completed sir." 

He stood and Tony followed suit. Before he could move Tony pulled him into a tight hug. He was hesitant at first but honestly this was far less intimate than the cuddling. "Thank you." Tony said again.

Letting his arms drop Tony passed into the kitchen and began pulling out the ingredients he'd bought. He leaned against the counter and watched as Tony began to boil the chicken broth. He chopped onion and garlic with the confidence of a pro. Heating oil in the pan Tony added the onions then the garlic and then rice. Stirring between each. The kitchen already smelled amazing.

"So who cooked the family meals when you were a kid? I can't imagine the great Howard Stark actually cooking anything that didn't explode."

Tony snorted. "He only knew where the kitchen was because that's where the alcohol was. How am I supposed to remember who cooked?"

He frowned. Tony had told him several other things that happened at younger ages. "Why wouldn't you?"

"Do  _ you _ remember anything from when you were a toddler?" Tony asked incredulously, not looking up from the rice. Realization made him hesitate before speaking again. "Yeah, didn't think so." Tony said, misinterpreting his silence.

"Tony how young were you when you started cooking for yourself?"

Tony began to ladle broth into the rice, never stopping stirring. "It was after the first circuit board I did completely by myself." Tony paused and he could practically see the gears turning behind Tony's eyes. "So four and a half? Maybe five? Why?"

"Jesus Tony. Most kids are just starting to make bowls of cereal by themselves at that age. What did you cook?"

Tony shrugged. "Risotto was always a favorite. Easy to do, stirring helped me think of designs and things." Tony trailed off, eyes watching the stirring of the rice, his mind obviously somewhere else.

He tried to think of anything remarkable he'd done at four. Nothing came up. While he sat and watched cartoons with his sisters, Tony had been fucking building circuit boards and cooking himself risotto. 

"Besides, engineering and cooking aren't so different. You have a plan you follow and an end result in mind." Tony picked up as if the conversation had not lapsed into silence for several minutes.

"But with engineering you don't have knives sharp enough to cut off a finger." 

"In cooking you don't have a soldering iron capable of burning straight through your hand." Tony countered easily.

"Yeah but Tony, some kids aren't even  _ potty trained _ at that age. Like I have a friend whose 5 year old only stopped having accidents like 3 or 4 months ago."

Tony was silent after that, his posture shifting. When he did reply the words came tight. "Well, my family was a bit different."

Whatever nerve he'd hit he thought better of pressing more. 

"Smells amazing." He said.

Tony smiled, more than willing to change the subject. "It better!" He watched Tony's expression slowly calm. Whatever the nerve he'd stuck, Tony seemed better now. 

"So did you go to some kind of genius school or were you in class with poor regular kids?" He tried, watching Tony's face as he spoke.

Far from seeming upset Tony laughed. "It wasn't genius school. More like rich kid school. It was a boarding school with tutors rather than teachers. No one had the same curriculum either. So I never had an engineering class until MIT. For stuff like that they just let me free in a lab."

"Fuck how many fires did you cause?" He asked, meaning it as a joke but Tony paused.

"Four? Maybe just three. Once I measured wrong and came out missing the hair in the left side of my head." He couldn't help joining in the laughter as Tony described how he'd looked half bald. "What about you?" Tony asked when the laughter died down. "Where'd you go to school?"

Of course he should have expected that to be the natural flow of the conversation but he couldn't help but tense. "Just a product of the good old American public school system. Always hated it. Did you enjoy the boarding school?"

Tony nodded. "I honestly preferred being there to being at home." The silence that stretched out felt far less comfortable than he would have liked. Thankfully Tony broke it. "The gears for your arm will be here tomorrow. So unless Obie does anything that requires immediate action I thought we could get the upgrades done. Unless you have other things you're doing?"

He nodded. "Sounds good. How long do you think it will take?" 

Tony shrugged, eyes tracking down his arm. "Probably most of the day. I'm going to have to basically rebuild at least the shoulder section."

He nodded. "I don't have anything else going so." He shrugged.

Tony nodded. The following silence at least felt less tense. He watched Tony's back as the man worked. He had begun to fill out over the last week and a half. The skeletal appearance was fading away. It made him look more like the Tony he remembered from the hospital but even that memory had softened, replaced with the expression Tony had as he worked on his arm. He couldn't even fathom making something that complex that fast. Tony really was incredible.

"Foods ready." Tony said and he managed to move before the other man caught him staring. Tony passed him a plate and he carried it to the kitchen table. He could feel Tony's eyes on him as he took the first bite. 

"This tastes amazing Tony. That settles it. You have to do all the cooking from now on." He winked.

Tony visibly relaxed and smiled back. "Hope you don't mind only eating once every other day or so. That's about as often as I remember to eat."

"You've eaten more often since you have been here." He pointed out. 

"Well you keep sticking food in front of me. Just wait when I get really started on a project sleep and food and time all just disappear."

He frowned. "You have ADHD?" 

"What?" Tony looked surprised. "No. I  _ focus _ on things."

"Well yeah that sounds like hyperfocus. It can be part of ADHD. One of my sisters has it."

"There is nothing wrong with me!" Tony snapped. 

"Tony. It's not anything that's wrong with you it's just how your brain works. It's not a bad thing. I just didn't know you had it."

"I don't." Tony hissed. 

He stared in confusion. Why would he be so defensive of something that was really not a big deal? "Okay Tony. My bad. Sorry."

Tony nodded but remained tense as they ate in silence. As he took the last few bites of his food a roll of thunder whispered in the distance. Tony's head snapped up, eyes searching through the windows. "Storms coming." He said. Tony turned to look at him then back out the window. A flash of lightning lit up the distant night sky. "I always loved storms as a kid." He continued quietly.

Tony turned back to look at him. Brown eyes held his for a moment as something unreadable flicked over Tony's face. The man looked back at the plate before answering. "I only remember it storming once when I still lived at home. Freaked me out." Tony said to his empty plate.

"Yeah. I bet it would if you hadn't seen it before." Tony was still tense. He couldn't understand what he'd done to bring about the change in the other man. "So," he started, waiting for Tony's eyes to drag up from his plate before continuing, "can you walk me through what you will need to do to my arm tomorrow?" He asked.

Tony looked wary but spoke anyway. "Easier to show. Is the screwdriver still inside?"

"Yeah. On the coffee table. I'll take care of dishes then can you show me?"

Tony nodded. He stood and collected the plates. Quickly he stored the leftovers, washed the plates, pan, and pot and dried them. Tony sat waiting on the couch, screwdriver flipping between his fingers as he watched the storm roll in through the front windows.

Tony seemed almost curled in on himself, like he was trying to be as small and unassuming as possible. He hoped talking about his arm would help. If he'd learned anything at all about Tony Stark in the last week and a half it was talking about his projects reignited him when Tony closed in on himself. He sat, easily extending his arm to Tony. It emitted a loud grinding click and sent a stab of pain up his arm. "I am  _ not _ going to miss that." He grumbled.

"That makes two of us." Tony's fingers were warm on his wrist. Tony's hand turned his arm and removed the plates around his shoulder. "I'll have to do the most work here." Tony said as he moved the plate. "Basically anything in there you see that's white needs rebuilt or replaced. Just trying to use the arm for so long after the gears cracked and broke has weakened most of the internal structures. That by itself will take several hours."

He watched as Tony pointed out both gears and internal structures. He hadn't realized the magnitude of the changes being made. Tony's left hand wrapped under his bicep. The warmth sunk into the metal as Tony lifted the arm, leaning forward. "J, get three 84324s too please." 

"Of course sir."

Tony's thumb rubbed lightly on the back of his arm as Tony used the screwdriver to move some wires out of the way as he checked something else. The light touch seemed to spark a line if electricity straight to his cock. God if that's all it took it had been way too long. After this was over he needed to find a girl who could at least pretend to be okay with the arm. Honestly with the custody battle looming he'd rather it be a relationship than a one night stand but he was up for anything at this point.

He was distractedly aware of Tony listing of a few more parts to Jarvis but it was all number and letter codes. Nothing that would matter even if he did pay attention. 

Tony reattached the shoulder plates and moved down. He at least tried to listen as the man explained that section. More damage, more replacements needed. He'd fucked up the arm by continuing to use it. 

Maybe Carlos would have someone who would be interested in him. He knew the regulars at the bar at least. Probably his best option. "Did they even give you my contact information?"

Tony's question pulled him back to himself. "I. What?"

"My contact information? I left it along with the arm at the hospital."

He shook his head. "They didn't give me anything but the arm itself."

"Fucking Obie." Tony mumbled. Tony's hand slid down to grasp his hand using it to turn and rotate his arm at Tony worked down the plates. Tony's fingers lazily rubbed his palm as the man looked over his arm. His mind supplied him with a mental image of something else Tony's hand could be doing but he firmly shoved it away. He wasn't gay or bi or anything else. It had been a long time since he'd done anything with anyone and that way the  _ only _ reason those thoughts were even happening. 

Tony reattached the plate on his lower arm. "Your hand won't need anything." Tony told him. Both Tony's hands wrapped around his metal one, moving the fingers, watching them bend. "I knew it would take the most wear so I made it to handle that."

"You really think you'll get it all done in a day?" He asked, forcing his brain out of the gutter and into the conversation.

"Yeah. It will be a long day but it will be doable." 

"You going to get some sleep tonight right?"

"Yes dear." 

He rolled his eyes and Tony laughed. Sobering Tony spoke, "I will. I'll be rested and I won't make any mistakes. Promise."

He nodded. Tony's fingers still quietly played over the metal of his hand. If Tony noticed he wasn't stopping. Honestly it felt good enough he didn't want to draw any attention to it.. He grabbed the remote with his other hand and turned the TV on, flipping through the channels for something worth watching.

A particularly loud roll of thunder made the windows rattle and Tony jump. Tony's hands jerked up to the reactor. "Easy." He said softly, "just the storm." Tony's wide eyes moved to the window as lightning lit up the darkness. Reaching out he rested a hand on Tony's shoulder. "You really aren't used to storms are you?" He asked.

Tony shook his head and laughed nervously. "It will be okay. Lots of thunder and rain." He said hoping he sounded reassuring as his hand dropped back to his side.

Tony sat for a moment longer before standing and crossing to the laptop. After a minute's silence the soft scratch of pencil on paper told him Tony was working on something. He finally ended up on the news replay, not because he cared about the news but because there was nothing else on. His mind wandered back to the images it had conjured up of Tony's hand wrapping around him, stroking him. He forced away that idea. He wasn't interested in Tony. He was just insanely horny and Tony was showing him attention. That was all. 

As the news ended he stood. "I'm heading to bed. You should too Tony." Tony waved him off. "Yeah fine. Just finish…" Tony tapered off.

"Goodnight Tony."

"You too." He shook his head and walked down the hall to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This ends on a very mild cliffhanger. I will post the next chapter in an hour or so once I'm done on the proofread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

Tony

Another roll of thunder rattled the wall of windows next to him. The rain had really started coming down about twenty minutes ago. He glanced over at the clock. Three in the morning. He would wrap up by 3:30 and get some sleep ahead of rebuilding the arm. He was so ready to return it to what he'd designed. He wanted to melt the shitty parts Obie had put in and beat Obie with them. It wasn't even _good_ plastic. Obie had to have known it would break down fast. Even in the best condition under that kind of stress they may have lasted a month.

"Maybe that was his plan." He said to J. "Give James a shitty arm then defame me when he comes out and sues." 

"That sounds very possible sir. Then it failed when Mr. Barnes didn't try to seek legal council."

"At least not for this." His eyes slipped over to the picture of James' family. A broken family now, all because of his failure. 

A bang from down the hall made his head snap around. "Jess?" James shouted. Was he on the phone? Cautiously he stood. James bedroom door flung open. "Jess?" The man called again. 

"James?" He said cautiously stopped at the entrance to the hallway. 

James stepped out of his bedroom, eyes wide and searching. "Where's Jess?" He demanded. 

Panic surged through his chest. James eyes rolled over him without registering. Was he having a flashback or an attack of something? Would James hurt him if he answered wrong? Hesitantly he spoke. "James she's not here. I think you had a nightmare?" James stalked down the hall, checking his bedroom then the living room and kitchen. "James?" He asked softly as he man moved to look out the windows, both arms braced on the glass. Thunder crashed. In a flash of lighting he saw James eyes reflected back. They looked more focused, less wild. "James, hey." He said moving to where the man stood. 

Carefully he reached out, fingers running lightly over the scars that licked around James ribs and over his back. It was a strange texture, both smooth and rough with sections of unscarred skin peeking out. Strange but definitely not unpleasant. He felt James shiver under the touch. "James it's okay." He whispered. "Come on." He gently pulled the man's shoulder, still ready to back up if he was misreading the situation.

James turned easily. His hands slid down James arms, his fingers wrapping around both flesh and metal fingers. He gently guided James to the couch. He sat and patted the couch next to him. "Lay down." James was still long enough he was about to apologize but slowly the man laid down, James head resting on his thigh. His fingers carefully moved to James hair, beginning to brush through it. James tensed at the contact but just as quickly sighed and relaxed back against his leg.

James hair was soft as silk against his fingers. He worked out the sleep created knots then just lazily let the stands run through his fingers. James let out a long yawn. His fingers trailed lightly back over the man's back. He could feel the definition of muscles just below the skin. Nothing but sheer force of will kept his dick from taking notice. James needed comfort, not a dick an inch away from his nose. 

His fingers ghosted lazy patterns across James back. "Sorry if I freaked you out." James mumbled.

"It's okay. Nightmare?"

"I think? I can't remember. I just woke up and needed to find Jess."

He hummed softly, hand moving back to James head. He let his blunt nails scratch lightly against the man's scalp. James let out a filthy groan that he would keep treasured in his mind forever. His dick twitched involuntarily at the sound but if James noticed he didn't comment. "That should _not_ be allowed to feel that good."

He couldn't help but chuckle at the comment. "And why is that?"

"Because."

"Uh-huh. Well thank you. Now that you say it that way it all makes perfect sense."

"Fuck you." James mumbled.

"I keep telling you not to threaten me with a good time." He said fully admitting to himself exactly how much he would love James making good on that threat.

When James was silent a moment he returned to the light scratching, hoping he hadn't just freaked him out. If it had freaked James out it apparently wasn't bad enough for the man to move so that was good at least.

After a moment his fingers returned to gently mapping out the network of scars the explosion had left. "You don't have to touch that." James said almost too quietly to catch. "I know it's gross."

"James no one is making me touch anything. Besides I don't think it's gross." He chided gently. 

James didn't comment after that. His fingers ran lightly over where the arm connected on James's shoulder. Obie had fought tooth and nail to get him to put the SI logo on the back of the arm. In the end the other man had given up. He was even more relieved now. He couldn't imagine his name stamped on the mockery of the arm James had now. Tomorrow he could make it right, start restoring the damage he'd brought on the other man's life.

He could hear James breathing deepening, feel him nodding off then jumping back. He waited for the other man to stand or sit up but James remained stretched out. Carefully he shifted, scooting down till he could rest his head against the back of the couch. James didn't protest the move. 

His hand moved back up to run through James hair. He listened as James finally drifted off to sleep. Once the other man was sleeping he let his hand drift down to rest in the middle of James back. The slow rise and fall off the man's breathing soon lulled him to sleep.

His brain clicked on well before he was willing to open his eyes. Slowly he registered he was sleeping sitting up. His back and shoulders were stiff and something felt like it was missing. James. He'd come out in the night. They'd fallen asleep on the couch. Shit. Was he going to be pissed? No. He'd slept first. It should be okay?

He blinked. Light poured in through the front windows, blinding him. He snapped them shut again with a groan. A soft thump in the kitchen followed by the unmistakable hiss of bacon on a pan told him where James had gone. 

He stretched slowly, trying to work out the kinks in his shoulder. "Morning." James said. 

Well, he didn't sound mad. Maybe he _had_ been into it. "What time is it?" He asked, trying again to open his eyes against the glare of the sun. 

"Almost ten." Another strip of bacon was added to the pan and the hissing redoubled. 

"Sorry to keep you waiting so long." He stood, waiting to open his eyes till his back was to the windows. Much better. 

"You didn't." James said a soft smile on his face. "I actually only woke up a few minutes ago when they dropped off that." He pointed with the spatula to a nondescript cardboard box on the table. 

"You mean you weren't up before the sun? Maybe we need to put off working on your arm. I think we might need to get you to a hospital. Quick J, diseases have symptoms that include sleeping like a normal person."

  


James opened his mouth to reply but Jarvis spoke, "Definitely no illness you are laboring under sir." James doubled over with laughter. 

"My own child, turned against me." He said in a voice of mock distress. He crossed to the table and carefully opened the box. Packed inside were all the components, carefully wrapped. 

He picked up the top piece, a gear and opened it. The vibranium shown faintly in the light. He was always amazed how light it was. "Look." He crossed it the kitchen and passed the gear. James flipped it over in his fingers. 

James passed it back and he moved back to the box, carefully unpacking everything. By the time breakfast was ready the entire back table was covered in components. "I'm not sure I believe you'll be able to do this in one day." James said, moving to look at all the parts.

"All the gears will be quick. The structural stuff will take the longest." He pointed to a few of the struts.

"Come eat." James said, a hand coming to rest for a moment on his shoulder. He turned and happily followed James into the kitchen.

They ate in what was thankfully a comfortable silence. Or at least it was until, "Sir?" Jarvis' voice called.

"Yeah J?"

"Mr. Stane is attempting to locate the vibranium."

He smirked. "Is he? Make sure it stays hidden. If anyone gets fired, make sure they stay on payroll until I get back."

"Very good sir."

He could feel them bright blue eyes watching him but he returned to eating without meeting them. Unless James actually voiced his thoughts he wasn't going to try to guess what was passing through the other man's mind. 

He finished eating first. "I'm going to go wash up." He told the other man before heading into the bedroom. He showered and shaved. He paused to look at himself in the mirror. He was looking better, gaining weight without looking pregnant every time he took more than two bites. He would be happy to have access to a gym again sometime soon. He'd never had to work out much. The nature of his work took care of that but he still enjoyed working out at least sometimes. Wouldn't hurt to get back into shape before he returned from the dead. 

He pulled on some clothes and returned to the living room. James was already on the couch waiting for him. "Ready for this?" He asked with an easy smile. Hours pressed close to James working on a project sounded like the recipe for an amazing day.

James opened his mouth to speak when his phone rang. He pulled the outdated little flip phone out and answered it. "Barnes speaking." He listened for a moment then asked. "Could you hold a moment?"

James turned to look at him. "Are you 100% sure your lawyers can help?" The man asked his face looking tight.

"More than 100%." He said confidently. "And if they can't I'll hire the best of the best who can."

James eyes held his. He tried to school his expression to insure it was as open and honest as possible. He was going to make this right. Plain and simple. James finally nodded.

"Thanks." He said softly before turning back to the phone. "Your services will no longer be required. I am seeking legal counsel elsewhere."

He waved to get James attention. "Tell him you need all your files." He whispered.

"I need all my files from you. No. Thank you."

James snapped the phone shut and tossed it at the recliner. "God that felt good." James said, flashing him a genuine smile. 

"Good. Once all this is taken care of we will get someone better.”

"Thank you again, Tony."

He smiled back. "You don't have to thank me. I'm just making things right. It wouldn't even be needed if the missile hadn't gone off. I'm going to go get some tools and we can get started." He grabbed the key off the hook and headed for the garage. It wasn't hard to grab everything he needed now that he was comfortable with where everything was stored. If he started on the shoulder like he'd planned there would be no reason for him to need under the arm like he had been the other day. James would simply be able to put his arm up enough once the shoulder was rebuilt.

He locked back up and returned to the house. It made more sense, he justified to himself, to redo the lower arm first. Stabilize the section before weakening the shoulder to fix it. "So I'm going to work on your lower arm first." He said as he came in, "then once that's stable with on your shoulder."

James eyes jumped to him as he spoke. He'd been staring at the picture on the bookcase. The one of him with his family. "Whatever you think is best." He said easily.

He gathered the required parts and sat on the couch next to James. James stretched out the arm which thankfully didn't make any horrible sounds. He opened all the plates below James elbow.

"Tony. I think I may have misrepresented some of the parts of Jess and I's relationship to you." James spoke as he worked removing the first destroyed gear. "She and I. We were typical highschool sweethearts. We just knew we would always be together. We got married before I even graduated, she was a year above me." 

He pulled off the chipped plastic gear and flung it next to James' phone on the recliner. Grabbing the vibranium one he began to attach it. 

"Then the day I graduated I joined the army. Things were okay for awhile but even then I think it was strained. The one thing she told me early on was she never wanted kids. Like I knew that when we were still dating." 

He tightened the gear and gently turned James arm to access the next one. 

"Like I wore a condom and she was on birth control kind of didn't want a kid." James sighed. "And then she got pregnant. If RJ wasn't basically a copy of me I'd have asked for a paternity test. I couldn't imagine how the fuck we were pregnant." 

Fling gear, grab replacement. 

"She wanted an abortion immediately. I." James’ flesh hand pushed through his hair. "I had never wanted children before but knowing it was there. Knowing it was _my_ child. I talked her out of it. Convinced her we could give it a try and if it didn't work out we would find someone to adopt the baby."

He carefully manually turned the gears, making sure the teeth aligned. He tightened the second down. "Do this." He said quiet enough not to interpret James story. James eyes flashed to his hand and he turned James turned his wrist to match his. The gears whirred softly.

"So Jess kept her to term, gave birth. RJ was healthy no complications. At first it seemed like Jess had changed her mind too. She breastfed her and took care of her and I thought things were good. She seemed happy. Then about the time RJ was one and a half, it all went to shit. She resented me for making her keep RJ, hated taking care of her."

Fling the old gear, carefully align the new.

"I asked why she didn't say something sooner. I mean now RJ was _very_ aware we were her parents. It would be a lot harder to give her up. She said she did it for me because she knew it's what I wanted. I took over most of the care then, or as much as I could. Then I was on tour. When I got back Jess seemed almost normal, like maybe my being away helped? But then I started to see signs."

He held up his wrist and moved it. James mimicked the motion without prompting.

"Like she'd leave her in a gross diaper way too long or forget to feed her. So then I was back to doing all that again. As soon as I took over it was like Jess didn't even acknowledge RJ existed. She'd try to talk to Jess and Jess just wouldn't."

He paused to glance up at James. The man was watching him work and didn't look up to meet his eyes.

"Then, the missile. She didn't come visit in the hospital. She didn't even acknowledge me when I got home. I picked up where I left off. I got sent back on tour but I was only gone a month before this malfunctioned and I got a medical discharge."

James expression remained unreadable as he spoke. He turned his focus back to the next gear. 

"Then like I said, one morning I came home it was all gone. Her, RJ, all their stuff. The house looked ransacked. If she hadn't left a note and then called a few hours later I'd have though for sure she was kidnapped. So anyway, everything that happened with Jess was on me, not you."

James fell silent. He turned the information over in his head a few times before asking. "So the woman who never wanted a child is holding your child from you?" James nodded. "Why?"

"Spite maybe? Anger? Pettiness? I don't know."

"It shouldn't be hard to get your custody back. Fuck with information like that it would probably be easy to grant full custody." He said, tightening down another gear. "Do you want that? Full custody I mean?"

"I'm not sure." James said honestly. "Maybe Jess has changed and if so then partial is fine. I'd rather see what RJ wants before I do to much. If she and her Mom are happy I don't want to rip them apart." He nodded. "So what about you? The press is constantly having a field day that you have little Tonys running around."

He scoffed. "Yeah I've heard that before. No. I use my own protection, always careful. I can say no one has ever come after me for child support so that makes me pretty confident I'm good."

James laughed, "Yeah that's probably a pretty good indicator." He held up his hand and James mimicked the movement. "It's amazing how much more natural that feels." He said softly.

"It's how it should have been from the beginning." He said, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.

"Will you be good if I stand up and stretch after this one?" James asked. 

He glanced at the clock. Almost two hours had blinked by. "Yeah. Of course." He said. "I'll be able to move up to your elbow after that."

He tightened down the gear. "Go ahead and move that all over." He said moving his own wrist around to demonstration. James mimicked the movement, flexing his wrist. The gears whirred softly. Nothing grinded or locked up. "Perfect." He said with a smile. "Let me." He caught James’ hand and pulled the arm back over. He slid and reattached the plates for the area he'd completed.

James stood and stretched. He followed suit. "Sir, Mr. Stane has begun work on a new project."

"What? Show me." He crossed to the table, James at his heels. 

A black and white schematic appeared on the screen and his blood froze. It was broken and fragmented but it was still very clearly the suit he'd used to escape Afghanistan. Alongside it was a partly finished schematic of something else. A larger less rough suit. He stared at it. Obie was planning to mass produce something like the suit he'd made. He closed his eyes. Obie didn't had a power source. That design was dead. And without the reactor it would have to use traditionally available power such wouldn't be strong enough. 

"Tony, what is that?" James asked from behind him. He barely stopped himself from jumping. He'd completely forgotten James was there.

"That," he tapped the image on the left, "is how I escaped in Afghanistan."

"What? What is it?"

"J keep me posted."

"Of course sir."

*Let me get started on your elbow and I'll tell you."

That seemed to be all the encouragement James needed to move back to the couch. With one final side long look at the schematic he followed. "Arm up on the back of the couch." He instructed. Once James had settled he tucked under James' arm, back pressed against the man's ribs. James moved his arm, James' hand coming to rest on his knee without prompting. He loosened the first gear before speaking. "I can't remember what all I've told you. Obie hired the ten rings to kill everyone on that convoy. They found me alive but barely with a chest full of shrapnel. They recorded that video you saw."

He grabbed the next gear. "There was a man there named Yinsen. He wasn't one of the ten rings. He was a prisoner. They kept him around, I think, to be a doctor and translator for them but I don't know for sure. He removed as much shrapnel as he could from my chest and inserted the housing the reactor sits in and an electromagnet to keep the remaining shrapnel from entering my heart."

He shifted slightly under the guise of getting a better angle though honestly he just wanted a little closer to the other man.

"They wanted me to build a missile I'd just demonstrated. I told them no. That's where…that second video came from." He took a slow breath before continuing. "I got an idea though, while there were…doing that for the reactor and the suit. So I lied, told them I'd build the missile, had then bring me everything I needed. I made the first reactor and Yinsen put it in for me. He helped me build the suit. He…" his eyes closed. "He died, to make sure I could live." 

He cleared his throat and shifted, carefully tightening down a gear. "His family was killed by the ten rings. By my weapons. He said he was going to see them. He made me realize I don't want my legacy to just be making things that blow up." He let his head drop back to James' ribs. 

"Test it." He said quietly. He watched from below as James slowly bent his elbow and rotated the arm. "Feel okay?"

"Feels great." James said.

He nodded and sat up. Rolling to his feet he walked over to his laptop. He pushed back the memories of his captivity. Stark men weren't weak. "You'll probably want to take a minute." He said not looking at James. "Once I start on your shoulder I won't be able to stop till it's done."

James was watching him. He could feel the piercing blue boring into him. "Tony." He wasn't sure if the man wanted his attention but he didn't look over. He had said more than he planned already. He wasn't interested in a heart to heart. He needed something else in his mind. 

He pulled Obie's schematic back up. It really was a bastard version of what he'd made. Huge and heavy. It wouldn't work long term, even with the reactor powering it the extra bulk would drain it too quickly. His idea, if he'd ever made another would be sleeker, lighter, but without sacrificing protection. 

A soft clink close to him brought his attention to a mug. James had brought coffee. That he could happily accept. He picked it up and took a swallow of the still burning liquid. A few minutes later James was back, pushing the papers out of the way and setting a plate of leftover pizza down. "Lunch." James said calmly.

They ate in silence. His eyes remained focused on the schematic. He'd already found more than 15 things wrong with the design which might prevent it even working. He wasn't sure if he'd rather the design fail completely or if he wanted it to work so he could kick Obie's ass while he wore it. 

He reached for another piece but there weren't any. Blinking he looked around. "Ready to finish up?" He asked James who was looking over the paper schematic for his arm. 

"Whenever you are." James said.

Had he been out of it long? James didn't say anything. He followed the other man to the couch. "Still feel okay?" He asked.

"Feels amazing." James said with a smile.

"Haven't lost any feeling? No pinching or pain?" He asked, giving himself an excuse to run his hands over James hand and up his arm to his elbow.

James shook his head. "No. Feels fine."

He nodded and turned his attention to opening the shoulder plates. There was so much to do. "You'll need to get into a position that's comfortable enough you can stay that way for a long time. Once I start you won't be able to move until I'm done."

"What exactly are you doing?" James asked quietly.

"See here?" He pointed carefully to the three struts that would need to be removed. "These provide the strength and structural integrity for your shoulder. Since they also stabilize the arm as a whole I made them out of vibranium. And that" he tapped the piece of shit, "is plastic. Cracking plastic. So it has to come out which means the whole arm will have to be destabilized."

James nodded. He pulled the coffee table within reach so he wouldn't have to stop to get any parts. "Go ahead and get comfortable." He prompted. James eyes searched for a moment. He looked down we realized the cause for his hesitation. As close as they had to sit meant anywhere James would set his hand would be on him. "Oh. I can scoot back if—"

"It's fine." James said, as the metal hand came to rest on his knee. He could feel the coolness seep through his jeans as James settled in. 

"Sure you can hold that?" He asked. James nodded.

He nodded and leaned forward. The first strut wasn't hard to disconnect but it was so interwoven that getting it out was going to be hard. He removed the half dozen screws that held it in place then set aside both screwdriver and screws. Slowly he began to ease the strut out of place. The base widened significantly to accommodate the sections of countersinking that kept the screw heads flat. Because of the shape while the body of the strut was easy to move the base was slow and cumbersome. Carefully, wire by wire and component by component he eased the strut out.

Setting the cheap plastic piece of shit on the table he picked up the vibranium replacement before behind the same tedious process. He breathed a sigh of relief when he slid the metal into place and began to carefully retighten the screws.

"One down." He said leaning back. 

"Fuck all that for one?"

"What did I tell you? This will be the longest part."

"I know. I'm okay. Just surprised."

He leaned in and carefully began shifting wires out of the way to reach the second set of screws. This one was far less easy to reach. "When I made this." He said eyes closing as he focused on the feeling of the screwdriver, moving slowly. Finally it slotted into place and he opened his eyes, "arm these were the first things added. Then everything else went around it. That's another reason why these are vibranium. I never wanted them to need replaced because I _knew_ they would be a bitch to replace. I can only guess Obie fucking forced the originals out since most of the wiring damage was in this area." He set down the screwdriver and screws.

"This one will scrape on the way out but let me know if you actually feel anything. That means I'll have hooked a wire I can't see."

James nodded. This one wasn't the worst. He'd knowingly saved that one until the end. The last he had no hope of removing without pulling on the wires that gave the arm feeling. Unlike the first this strut and the next he had to remove blind. 

He slipped his fingers as far into the wiring as possible and closed his eyes to focus. "Why don't you just unplug things like the wires were before?" James asked quietly as he carefully guided the plastic out.

"No way of knowing what is and isn't vital since I can’t see the connection points. And now that it's all put together the isn't a good way to reconnect them if I did. We got lucky before. The wires were mostly still connected, just stripped." He paused as the plastic tugged in something. Once it was free he continued, "it's time consuming but trust me this is best."

He had no idea how long it took to carefully maneuver the strut out but he flung it into the kitchen when he did. It landed with a satisfying clatter. "You're picking that up when we are done." James mumbled at him. 

"Yes dear." He said with a grin before grabbing the next piece. "If you can wait till tomorrow I'll pick it up in a nice maid outfit just for you."

James snorted. "Might be worth it. How much you think a picture of you in a maid outfit would go for?" 

He laughed. "The world has seen my dick on innumerable occasions. You missed that payout by several years."

"Seeing dick is way different than a maid costume. I bet I'd still get something." 

He couldn't help but roll his eyes before turning to begin the painstaking progress of inserting the new piece. He had to give James credit. The man was good at holding still. The metal hand had long since warmed against his leg. The point of contact was soothing. He chanced a quick glance at James face. The other man was focused intently on watching the metal slowly sink into his arm. 

He'd assumed the James was straight. He'd given no indication to think any differently. Still he had to admit the slowly increasing casual contact made him wonder. Not that James would be interested in the guy who had royally fucked his life even if he was gay. Still he wondered.

Then again Rhodey had been as straight as they came and still was willing to cuddle up with him. That had been a result, he was sure, of his own gentle persistence. Still after Rhodey had determined they could in fact cuddle without it spontaneously turning him gay the other man had frequently sought out the affection. He remembered spending a massive chunk his spring Junior semester at Rhodey's place after his grandma passed suddenly. Rhodey had always been careful about who saw. Unless he was drunk. Rhodey was a lover when drunk, hugging up on anyone who would let him. 

He'd never held the discretion against the other man. Hell who could forget SI's 26 point stock drop in '94 when the first pictures of him having sex with a man graced every publication known to man. That had been an interesting month. By the fourth time pictures of him with a man hit the papers the stocks didn't even waver. Just Playboy Tony Stark fucking another man. Now it was as old news as the women.

His eyes closed as he focused on guiding the piece past a particularly challenging area. "Almost." He whispered.

How would that change now that he was giving up the party life? He'd made a promise to himself that he'd clean up his life, stop wasting his time. He grabbed the screwdriver off the table without looking and carefully began to attach the screws. He had time, he supposed, to figure out exactly what it all meant.

He leaned back and stretched. "One left to go." He said quietly. James stretched too. "So this next one is going to suck. There is basically no chance it won't hurt. I'll try to keep it to a minimum as best as I can."

James nodded.

"Thankfully it's also shorter than the others so it won't take as long to get out."

"How do you want me?"

He had to practically swallow back the knee jerk reply of exactly how he would like James. "How you were is fine."

The metal hand returned to his knee and he turned his attention to the screws on the final smaller strut. Setting aside the screws and screwdriver he took a slow breath and began to ease out the plastic. He had it half out before a flicker ran across James' face. A moment later James' hand tightened in his knee. He kept moving, watching James face. When the base reached the center of his arm the metal arm made aloud whine. James flesh hand moved fast enough he flinched at the movement. He braced for a punch that never came. Instead James hand wrapped around his. 

A shiver ran straight down his spine. He was so focused on the feeling of James' hand over his it took him longer than it should have to realize James was guiding the metal out. He forced himself to focus, sliding a finger from his other hand in next to the plastic to help angle cords out of the way. When the plastic slide free James let out a long breath. "Fuck that hurt." 

"Yeah. Sorry...about that." He managed. James fingers still wrapped around his. James seemed to notice too as his hand quickly fell away. "Need a minute before we get the other one in?" He asked. 

James shook his head. He looked a bit pale. Somehow that made his eyes look even brighter.

"Did helping make it less painful?" He asked. He grabbed the metal piece then held out his hand so James could grab it. For a moment James was still but then his hand moved up. The heat of his fingers felt just as good the second time. 

Carefully together they worked the piece into place. "That's over now right?" James asked quietly as he tightened down the screws. 

He nodded. "I have to replace the gears but that will be easy and then you'll be like new. I have some servos coming in a few days that will be an upgrade but those are easy to replace too."

"Upgrade?" James sounded surprised. "You just think I need an upgrade huh?"

"Hey, if you don't _want_ to be even more awesome I can send them back."

"So you think I'm awesome huh?" 

He closed his mouth on the reply. They had a good comradery going. He wouldn't fuck it up with flirting. Thankfully J chose that moment to speak. "Sir, Mr. Stane has pulled together many of the top engineers to begin work on what he has titled 'Section 16.' It appears they are setting up shop at the base of the reactor in factory 1."

"Thanks J. Keep me posted."

He turned and grabbed the screwdriver. "Ready to finish this up?" 

"Beyond ready."

After the careful work maneuvering the structural points the gear work seemed to wrap up in record time. In what felt like mere moments he was leaning back. "Moment of truth. Arm up over your head." He commanded.

For several long seconds James remained still then cautiously he lifted his arm. The gears whirred softly but the arm made no other noise as it lifted into the air. James stood and slowly rotated the arm like a windmill. The arm emitted a symphony of whirrs and clicks as it moved but nothing was out of place. He stood too, monitoring the plates for any grinding. "Tony. This...This is amazing. Thank you."

"I'm sorry it wasn't like that from the beginning." He said honestly. "Really James, if I'd had any—."

"Bucky." James said, cutting across him.

"Idea I...what?"

"Call me Bucky." James said. "Only person ever called me James was Mom and that was only when I was in trouble."

He smiled. "That's fair. Don't call me Anthony and I won't call you James, fair?"

Bucky smiled. "Fair."

He held out his hand. "Nice to meet you Bucky." He said with a grin. 

"Fuck off." Bucky said back. "Seriously though, thank you."

"Tell me if anything acts up. There will probably be a few days where it had to adjust."

Bucky nodded. "I will."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The arm needed exactly two adjustments over the next four days. Nothing major. Nothing painful. Just quick easy recalibrations. The servos had come but Bucky insisted on waiting to put them in for now. He wanted to adjust properly to the arm before doing any modifications. A waste of time in his mind but the arm wasn't exactly attached to him.

He sat in front of the laptop out in the garage. It had become here he spent most of his time. Bucky insisted he come in and eat but otherwise he tinkered. He'd learned that the cutting torch only cut in 10-20 second spurts before cutting out. He learned half of Bucky's metric wrenches were missing. He learned that the floor wasn't level in several areas and that once an hour the fluorescent tubes flickered. 

"This isn't gonna work J." He grumbled on day 5 upon finding Bucky was missing the one size drill bit he needed. "I. I can't. I just can't. The time it would take to bring this up to a shop I could work in is astronomical. Obie could build 5 of these shitty suits by then. I need _my_ shop."

"Homesickness is perfectly reasonable considering the circumstances." Jarvis said.

"Too bad I can't set foot in my shop without getting attacked again."

"Yes. It would appear Mr. Stane's guards still dutifully hold parameter on the house, sir."

He groaned, flopping into the floor. He was being dramatic, he knew it, but the whole thing was fucked up. "Give me a list of every shop in the US that could handle that I need." He told J.

"Three shops located sir."

He stood, crossing to the laptop. His home shop was first. He dismissed it. The next was M.I.T. That wouldn't work. The final was the New York office. He groaned. So basically he was fucked. His eyes crossed the floor, mind beginning calculations for how much self leveling cement the room would need.

"Based on my calculations the New York office would be the perfect solution." Jarvis spoke.

"What do you mean perfect J? Literally anyone could just walk in."

"That is incorrect sir. The floors were locked down under your direction upon their initial competition. No override command was assigned before your untimely death making that floor completely inaccessible. Mr. Stane requested access but I declined him and he has ordered no one to attempt to infiltrate it since you did not do any work there."

"So, is a completely untouched shop with all the tools I have back home."

"That is correct sir." 

"Fuck J! Why didn't you tell me sooner! I'll be back."

He shot up to the main house, letting himself in the front door, he looked around. The tv was on but Bucky was but there. Bathroom door was open, Bucky wasn't there. He looked in the kitchen and dining area but no sign of the man. He glanced curiously in his own bedroom but it was empty. 

Maybe Bucky was taking a nap. He moved to the other man's door. As he did a soft groan met his ears. He frowned. "Bucky?" He called. Silence then another groan. "Bucky are you okay?" He called louder. Silence.

Fuck. What if the arm malfunctioned and he was hurt? As if to agree another faint noise slipped through the door. Still, it was Bucky's room. But if the man was okay why wasn't he saying anything? "Bucky I'm coming in!" He called and waited several moments before opening the door.

His eyes scanned the room landing on Bucky. The other man sat on the bed, headphones over his ears. Sitting next to him on the bed was a laptop. He frowned. Bucky had said he didn't own a laptop. From this angle he didn't catch what was on the screen, though he didn't really need to see. Bucky was completely nude. His metal hand wrapped around his cock which jutted out thick and red from his belly. 

Lightning shot to his own cock at the sight. The hand suddenly froze. His eyes lifted to Bucky’s face. It was flushed red. "Want some help?" He asked his voice far huskier than he'd intended.

"Out!" Bucky shouted. "Get out!" He took two steps back and snapped the door shut. Panic raced through his chest but did nothing to soften his own aching dick. He stood in the living room a moment heart pounding before grabbing the shop key and darting back outside. He closed the door and retreated to the far corner of the lab. His heart continued to pound. 

What if James changed his mind, decided to take him to the buyer after all? Probably better late than never. He let his head fall back against the wall. He slid down it to sit. He was reminded of hiding in Howard's lab when he was young. He'd always felt safer there. 

The door opened and he jumped, reflexively pushing back against the wall as if perhaps he could simply become atoms and slide through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.

  
Bucky

  
After the initial shock of Stark literally catching him with his pants down faded he realized his mistake. He knew better than to shout with how easily Tony freaked out. He grabbed his clothes, tucking his softening cock into his underwear as he dressed.

And of course Tony had offered to fucking help. In the moment it had sounded like a wonderful idea. He'd barely managed to stop himself agreeing. There wasn't an adult alive who hadn't heard what an amazing lay Tony Stark was and a mouth was a mouth. He shoved his thoughts back.

"Tony?" He called, stepping out of the bedroom. Silence filled the house. Shit he checked the hook. Sure enough, the keys were gone. He stepped out. It was cool outside, the grass still wet from the rain they had gotten overnight. If Tony had locked himself in the would just have to wait till the man came out. He tested the handle and the door opened.

His eyes skimmed the room before settling in Tony. He was tucked into a corner. As he watched Tony's eyes met his and the man started to hyperventilate. As he crossed the room Tony's eyes rolled and the other man blacked out.

Fuck. He knelt listening as Tony's breathing came back to normal. Slowly Tony stirred blinking. "Tony." He said quietly. "Hey Tony. Come on back." Tony's eyes blinked slowly as the man tried to focus on him. "There, come on back. You're okay. I'm not mad just breath."

Tony frowned, "Did I?"

"Hyperventilate and pass out? Yeah."

Tony stumbled to his feet. "Easy." He said, bracing the man's shoulders. Tony leaned forward, Tony's head coming to rest on his shoulder. His hand moved up to cup the back of Tony's neck. "Still breathing?" He asked.

Tony nodded. "Sorry for blacking out and walking in on you and saying that and—"

"Tony, Tony, Tony. Breathe." He said cutting off the man's voice as it grew more and more panicked. His hand moved up to Tony's hair. Tony stilled against him but he could still feel the man's heart pounding against his chest. "I'm not mad. Everything is okay. Once you are calmed down I think it would be good for us to talk."

Tony nodded but remained pressed against him. The offer Tony had made less than ten minutes before seemed to pound in his ears. Finally Tony leaned back. "Couch?" The man asked quietly. He nodded.

Tony followed him up to the house with all the enthusiasm of a condemned man approaching the gallows. He entered, hung the key then sat on the couch. Tony dropped next to him.

"So it hasn't really come up but I wanted you to know I'm straight Tony." He said quietly.

"Yeah, I. Sorry." Tony mumbled without looking at him. "Can… Nevermind. Sorry."

"Can what Tony?" He asked, eyes watching Tony's face.

"Can we still cuddle sometimes?" Tony asked softly. Then all in a rush, he continued, "Just as friends I mean. If you don't want to it's okay. But I had this friend who was straight but he was okay with it and you didn't seem to mind it and I thought. I mean I thought if it didn't bother you that maybe it would be okay? I promised I won't push or anything." Tony's voice tapered off.

He watched Tony. If the other man could not push him he couldn't deny he'd enjoyed the closeness. It hadn't really dawned on him exactly how much time RJ or Jess had spent tucked against him until he suddenly had it again. That closeness was nice. And apparently Tony had straight friends he'd cuddled with. Just to check, "these straight friends weren't just in the closet not straight friends you eventually fucked right?" He asked firmly.

Tony let out a sharp laugh. "Rhodey did kiss me once when he was really drunk but it was only because I hooked him up with this upperclassmen he'd been pining over. Otherwise no. He was straight as they come."

"If you can be fine with just that and not push then that's fine." He said lifting his arm. Tony took the invitation without hesitation, curling up against his side. "How did you hook him up exactly?"

Tony laughed, "I was too drunk to remember but whatever it was she was into it." He said.

"So was there a reason you came into my room?"

"Oh! Yeah!" Tony lurched back up. "I want us to go to New York! Stark Industries headquarters there has shop, totally unused and locked from everyone. I can do everything I need to do there."

"Us? Why am I going?" He asked.

"I need you there to help. Plus my lawyers are there too so when is done you will already be there for them to help. It makes perfect sense."

"Tony I don't want to go to New York." He said honestly.

The other man's face dropped. "Please?" Tony addressed his knee. "I need someone there who can go in and out. If you help I'll get you the parts you need to fix up your bike? You can take it on its first drive there. I could get a bike too. Please?"

"That's a lot to ask for. How long a drive is that?"

"40 hours?" Tony said quietly. "That's only 5 days of driving."

He closed his eyes. "What if someone sees you?"

"Helmet." Tony said quickly. "It will cover my face."

He took a slow breath. "Okay. When do we leave?"

Tony flung his arms around him. "I can have the parts here by tomorrow." He said. "Then once your baby is ready we can go!"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Tony was already up when he came out of the bedroom. He looked at the smaller man reproachfully. "What?" Tony asked as he walked by. "What?" Tony repeated.

"Did you sleep at all?" He asked, opening the fridge.

"I. Yeah. Yes. I slept."

"Jarvis?"

"Sir did sleep last night. A whopping total of thirty tw—"

"Mute!" Tony said quickly. He raised an eyebrow at the other man. "Hey at least I tried."

"Do we need to get you something? Some sleep pills? This can't be healthy."

"No." Tony said too quickly. "No meds."

"Okay." He said carefully. "Then you have to sleep more. It's not healthy Tony." Tony opened his mouth to reply but the sound of a truck backing up stopped him. "What the fuck?" He looked out the window to see a massive truck backing up to the shed. "Tony what did you do?"

He could see Tony smile down at the schematic he was working on but otherwise the man gave no indication he heard the question. He grabbed the garage key and walked out. A large, balding man climbed out of the driver seat. "Hey. You," the man paused to look down at the clipboard, "Barnes, James?"

"Yeah. That's me." He said.

The man turned and banged on the truck door. Two more men climbed out of the other side of the cab. "Sign here." The balding man said, holding out the clipboard and a pen. He signed and before he could read the paper it was pulled back. The man seemed to wait a moment before asking, "So you gonna open the garage or what?"

"Oh! Sorry." He said. Crossing to the door he opened it and pressed the garage button. Behind him he heard the back of the truck open and the thud of boots on a metal ramp. For a moment he wondered if he should have brought his gun. What if they were there to attack him? But no sooner had he turned then a man in his early twenties with black hair walked by with a stack of boxes balanced in his arms.

He stepped out of the way. "Where you want this?" The younger man asked.

"Anywhere is fine."

He watched as a second younger man, this one blonde, walked past with a second arm load. The older man came to stand next to him. "Not gonna lie, we were taking bets last night bout if this was real. Never had this big an order being family owned. And rushin' like that. We was up half the night getting things loaded." As he spoke another half dozen boxes were added to the stack. "Ya didn't specify wheels so we picked some new ones for ya."

"Thanks." He said, not sure exactly what he meant until the black haired man wheeled in a bike. Or what was once a bike. It was nothing but bare frame with the new tires currently. Suddenly it made sense. Tony would need a bike too. He'd apparently bought himself a project too.

The blonde brought in another arm load. "That's the last of it." He said with a smile.

"Thanks again man." The balding man said. "My old lady, she's been needing a surgery and that extra you put to rush it covers it and then some." The man held out his hand.

"Glad to help." He said lamely, taking the offered hand. "Let me know if she needs anything else. I'm sure there is something else I could need."

"I will man." The balding man laughed. "I will." The three men climbed back into the cab of the truck and drove off. He turned, eyes flashing over the boxes before landing on the frame of the bike. He ran a hand over the cool metal. He looked it over but honestly he wasn't any good at identifying bikes, especially not by their frame.

He briefly considered opening up the boxes but it was Tony's money that had bought the parts so Tony should probably be the one to do that. He closed the garage and locked up before crossing back to the house.

Tony was waiting at the table when he returned, wearing an expression like a puppy waiting hopefully for praise. He took a bit extra time putting up the keys. That was apparently all it took to break Tony's ability to be silent. "So what did you think?" He could hear the hopefulness written on Tony's face in the man's voice.

"Looks good. Didn't open the boxes, figured we could together after breakfast. What kind of frame is that?"

Tony positively beamed for a fraction of a second, then he was turning back to his schematics. He could still see a smile on the edges of the man's face.

"A black shadow. Been wanting to build one for awhile. Figured now would be a good time. Still need to get some parts but what's in there will get me started."

"That man was really thankful. Whatever you paid him to rush the order is paying for some surgery for his wife."

"She needs a stent and they don't have insurance." Tony said without looking up.

"What? How would you know?"

"The kid. Daniel?" He shrugged and Tony continued. "Blonde? Saw him out there unloading. Anyway, he has a Facebook account. Not sure if he realizes anyone can see what he is posting but it worked in his favor this time."

"Facebook?"

"Think Myspace but better." Tony said with a grin. "SI invested in it a few years back. Kid who is making it is smart. Very smart. If he can keep it up he will go a long way."

"So. Wait. So you found a random stranger online and choose to buy from his family's business because you invaded his privacy and found out his mom needed surgery?"

"It's on the internet. It's no longer his private business." Tony said dismissively. "And for what it's worth, I did the same thing with three other businesses that had your parts." Tony shrugged. "They just had the most need."

"You are unbelievable." He said, unable to keep the fondness out of his tone. "Thank you. I told him if he needs anything else to reach out to me, so I guess that will probably go to you?"

"Yup." Tony said fingers still working quietly.

He crossed back into the kitchen. "So I'll make breakfast and we will get out there?" Tony nodded.

He rummaged in the fridge for sausage and eggs. "So why the black shadow? Not sure if I've ever heard of it before."

"Honestly if Audi would make a bike I'd rather have that." Tony said, finally looking up from the paper.

"Audi? Why?"

Tony put a hand on his chest mock horror. "I love my Audis. Always have."

"Seriously? I figured you'd be like a Ford guy? What made you pick Audis?"

Tony snorted. "I do have a 1932 Flathead Roadster but my Audis are my favorites. First one I got to piss off Howard. Howard "natzi killer" Stark's son driving a German made car but honestly I just really like them."

He nodded. That was the most open Tony had ever been about his father. He considered pressing but decided against it. "So why the shadow?" He asked, passing Tony a plate of food.

"It is largely considered the world's first superbike. It has enough power to get over 125 mph and it was created in a time when 100 mph was barely attainable."

"Huh. I had no idea. So what other cars you have?" He asked as he took another bite.

"Right now? The Saleen S7, 1964 Shelby Cobra, and Tesla Roadster are in the shop. I have a Type 6 Samurai Chopper too but you didn't ask about motorcycles so." Tony tapered off.

"Tesla roadster? Aren't those still just prototypes?"

"Maybe." Tony said with a wink. "Remind me when we get to the garage I can show you."

He nodded. "You'll have to show me the Samurai Chopper too. Never heard of it."

They finished eating quickly. Tony grabbed the laptop and they headed for the garage. Tony beamed at the sight of the frame. It took less than 10 minutes to open all the boxes. The floor was littered with parts for the two bikes. He had a lot less work to do than Tony but it was still more than he'd remembered. Tony had gotten parts he had already gotten just in rough shape. There were a few parts he'd found similar parts from other bikes and called it good enough. Tony has replaced those too.

"Want to see the cars before or after we work awhile?" Tony asked.

"Now is good." He said, happy to have the extra time to plan. He expected 10-15 parts, not the over 50 Tony had bought.

Tony set up the computer and a few moments later the camera feed for the lab came on. It looked dramatically better than last time. Most of the dust and debris had been cleaned up. Tony rotated the camera until a corner of the shop was visible. The two bots sat side by side on square platforms. "U." Tony spoke. "Wake up." One of the bots moved, stretching it's claw forward in a way that looked like a person stretching after a nap.

It trundled towards the camera. "Hey U. Thank you for cleaning. It looks wonderful." Tony said, his voice soft. The bot emitted a series of happy sounding beeps at the praise. It came to stop under the camera Tony was controlling. It stretched it's claw up to look directly at the camera. "Has your brother been helping?" Tony asked. Two happy sounding chirps followed by a quieter sad sound. "You tell him he needs to help all the time." The bot spun it's claw.

Tony leaned back. "Can you grab the camera U? I want to show Bucky the cars."

U made a happy sounding chirp and removed the camera. "The Audi first." Tony said as the bot carefully set down, rotated, and then picked up the camera. The robot turned the camera to a white car. "There she is. Audi R8. Brand new this year. Now we match." Tony tapped the reactor. "Our engines have lights."

He snorted. It was interesting to think about young Tony buying a car just to annoy his Dad.

"There's the Cobra." Tony's words pulled him back to the video as U panned over to a blue car with white racing stripes. The more classic look stood out in sharp contrast to the Audi.

"And the Saleen." He blinked. The car was probably the brightest orange he'd ever seen in a car.

"That's a paint job."

Tony laughed. "I did it on a dare. I need to get it repainted but I haven't gotten around to it. And the Ford you wanted to see." Tony said.

The roadster was black with flames painted down the front, whitewall tires and a pristine engine. "It's beautiful." He said honestly.

"Howard got it for us to work on together. I started repairs on it at 4. We never ended up doing anything on it together. And there's the car you were asking about."

He opened his mouth to ask about what Tony said about Howard but he let it drop. Tony had been very clear about not wanting to talk about Howard. The silver car was unlike any he'd seen before.

"Elon Musk got start up funding from SI way back and I told him if he ever made it past planning I got the first one. Bleeding-edge tech. Uses lithium-ion batteries, top speed of 125mph."

"And finally my bike. A custom builder at Zero engineering only makes 24 of them a year. Custom paint, and a few custom parts. Don't ride her much but definitely my favorite bike so far."

A shrill chirp issued off screen. "U go ahead and put up the camera. I need to talk to Dum-E." A closer chirp came from U.

"Those are all awesome Tony." He said, giving the other man's shoulder a squeeze.

"After this is all over I can show you in person some time." Tony said with a smile.

He crossed over and knelt next to his bike. Now that it was finally time to get it fixed he felt strangely hesitant to start. Behind him Tony spoke in a firm voice "Dum-E. Why haven't you been helping U clean?" The bot began to chirp but Tony cut across him. "You help clean or you're going to the corner when I get home." Dum-E made a sad whir noise. He couldn't help but smile listening to Tony interact with them, like they were children not robots. It was sweet.

He listened to Tony talk to them as he began to replace some of the easiest to access pieces. Tony truly was incredible. He'd bought and overpaid for parts from a family who had needed the money. He'd rebuilt his arm from scratch without question as soon as he realized it was wrong. He'd built robots that could learn for themselves and treated them like his children. He was funny and kind and impossibly smart.

"You boys be good." He heard the man say behind him. He stood and as Tony turned he pulled the other man into a hug.

"You really are an amazing person Tony." He said quietly. Tony seemed surprised but after a moment's pause returned the hug.

"I don't know where you're getting your information but you had better check your sources." Tony said with a self-deprecating smile. "I believe the correct term is 'merchant of death'".

"Maybe the old you, but you're not doing that anymore."

"I may not be, but my company still is." Tony knelt next to his bike and began to sort through parts. "Obie approved two more shipments last night. One to the US and one to Afghanistan. Even with production down they have at least four or five months of inventory."

"And that's why you didn't sleep last night." He said, filling in it holes Tony didn't. Tony didn't look at him, his eyes were fixed on one of the components. "Tony you are working on it. It's going to get fixed. You can't expect perfection immediately. It takes time."

"Tell that to the families who will never see loved ones again because of a weapon with my name on it!" Tony was on his feet shouting, his voice tight. "Tell that to the kids who don't get to see the birthday because their village was blown up. I can't…" Tony took a shuddering breath and sunk back down next to his bike focusing on removing the wheels.

"Tony—"

"Don't!" Tony snapped. "Just. Don't."

He watched as the other man set to work moving the frame to one of the benches. He hadn't even considered that Tony might be feeling guilt about the weapons still out there. Of course it made sense. He'd just assumed the man's insomnia was PTSD. He'd seen a tiny little snip of the hell Tony survived. Not sleeping would make sense after that. But if Tony was staying up to watch his weapons leave the warehouse, knowing he couldn't stop them. Knowing they'd be used to kill innocent people when he could do nothing to stop it.

Tony turned and grabbed several of the parts, flipping them over and checking their fit. If Tony could tell he was being watched he hid it well. But then he'd lived his entire life being watched. A quick web search would bring up hundreds of and pictures of Tony as a child clear up to present day.

Hell before his arm was blown off he followed the meteoric rise of Tony Stark, along with the rest of the world. Tony was only a few years older than him. In school they'd had whole curriculums about Tony and Howard Stark. Reading about someone almost his age than him doing impossible and fantastic things had always captivated his attention.

Still he couldn't imagine it. Every mistake, every wrong turn laid bare to the world. He'd made his own mistakes in life and that had been enough stress and embarrassment. He couldn't imagine making them on a global stage. When Tony had been hospitalized with a broken arm under strange circumstances the stocks had tanked for weeks and Tony hadn't even done anything.

He wondered then if this felt like a break to Tony. If you could look past the kidnapping, attempted human slavery, and worry about his weapons did this feel like a vacation? Probably not. Tony was used to a lifestyle that his little cabin in the woods couldn't begin to match. Less a vacation, more a slog through the slums. Still Tony hadn't ever complained. At least— "Keep staring like that I might just do a trick." Tony's words pulled him out of his thoughts.

Tony stood, working quietly with his back turned. "Wasn't staring. And what kind of trick? It might be worth it."

Tony snorted. "Please. Those blue eyes of yours are like fucking lasers. I can feel them on me. And that's a good point. My normal tricks wouldn't interest you anyway." Tony said, turning to face him.

"Dare I ask what constitutes a normal trick?"

"Don't tell me you've never done a little strip tease for your lady?" Tony asked with a laugh. When he scoffed Tony began to rotate his hips while slowly pulling up his shirt. He rolled his eyes and looked back at the bike. Tony laughed and pulled his shirt off, tossing it onto the bench.

"Might work for you but I'm nothing to look at." He said without looking up. "Especially not now."

"James." He jumped at the use of his first name, eyes moving up to Tony. The other man stood, hands on his hips. "You look fucking amazing and I've only ever seen the now you. The things I would do… But I understand your preference and am able to put that aside. Anyway. Point is any girl would be lucky to have you. You're beyond hot. Don't sell yourself short."

He could feel heat rising in his ears and his pulse jump. "I. Thanks Tony. You don't look bad yourself." He said, unsure exactly how to respond. Tony smiled and turned back to work.

Honestly Tony did look a lot better than he had. He was still thin but he no longer looked starved. As Tony tightened down a bolt clearly defined lines of muscle flexed in his shoulders. A curiosity he couldn't quite put into thought flicked through his mind about Tony's words. What exactly would Tony do? Before the thoughts had any chance to take root his phone began to buzz. He pulled it out. Jess' name showed on the screen. Fuck. "I gotta take this." He said moving to the door of the garage.

"Yeah?" He answered as the shop door closed.

Tony

He watched Bucky close the door behind him. Hopefully he hadn't fucked anything up with his little slip about what he wanted to do to the other man. Or the mock strip tease. Fuck he needed to stop. Still he'd definitely felt the other man's eyes were still on him once he pulled off the shirt. Maybe it wasn't all bad.

He turned back to the bike. He had enough here to get it running, though not enough to make it as pretty as James' bike. He had parts coming tomorrow too. That would let him make it look nice enough he'd be willing to ride it.

Bucky at least seemed pleased with the replacement parts he'd gotten. He had been nervous buying parts that aren't strictly _needed_ to finish the bike. If Bucky had wanted to use mismatched parts for personal preference he didn't want to stop on any toes but Bucky had hugged him so that must mean he did okay.

He reran through the plan in his mind as he worked. Get to SI. Jarvis could override security footage and elevators. He would get Bucky a badge and employee access so he could come and go freely. They would need to get him a suit if they went out during the day.

And then what? Once he got to New York? That depended on how much Obie got done with his suit. If he actually succeeded in making anything even half working he'd make his own. Wait for Obie to showcase it then show up. Prove in front of a live audience he was alive. Let the world know what Obie did. Obie would fight. He would need to prepare for a fight.

He stepped back. The bike was already well on its way to looking like a bike. He turned, Bucky was still gone. How long had it been since the other man left?

"Jarvis, how long has Bucky been gone?"

"Two and a half hours sir."

Fuck had he been working that long? What if the conversation was something bad? Anxiety settled into his stomach. He set down the wrench and moved to the door. Bucky wasn't outside the garage. He wasn't anywhere between the house and garage. Uncertainly he let himself back into the house.

Bucky sat on the couch, a bottle in his fingers. The familiar smell of alcohol tickled his nose. "Bucky? Everything okay?" Bucky looked up. His eyes looked bloodshot. He'd seen Bucky mad before. Was he an aggressive drunk? Cautiously he moved over to Bucky. "What happened?" He asked softly.

A flash of metal was the only warning he had before Bucky pulled him down and over. He ended up laying on top of the other man. Bucky's eyes met his for a moment then fingers slid around the back of his neck pulling their lips together.

His brain short circuited. His lips moved against Bucky's as he ground his hips against the other man's. A groan slipped past his lips. Bucky was already half hard beneath him. His fingers roamed over the other man's chest feeling muscles and scars and metal alike. His tongue licked out, tasting Bucky's lips, the sweet taste of skin and alcohol.

No. He pushed back, bringing their lips apart. He let his head drop taking in several long breaths as every fiber in his body screamed at him to continue. He moved his forehead to rest on Bucky's forehead.

"You are drunk." He said softly.

"So?" The response almost accusatory.

"So," he said starting to sit up before finding himself trapped under the metal arm, "so we aren't doing anything when you're drunk James." He said, forcing every bit of the conviction he didn't feel into his tone. "We can cuddle, but that's it."

Bucky was quiet a long time. "It was Jess." Bucky said finally. He nodded. With the metal arm still wrapped around his waist he wasn't going anywhere. He shifted carefully until his head could rest mostly on Bucky shoulder. The man's voice rumbled under his ear as Bucky spoke again. "Shess tryin to get the case dismissed. Sayin if I wanted to see RJ wouldn't change lawyers."

Bucky shifted under him and of course Bucky had to fucking be hard to. It took every ounce of self control not to grind their dicks together. He pulled in several steadying breaths. "She's got no leg to stand on Bucky. You're fully within your legal rights to seek other counsel."

James let out a long breath. "You sure?"

"Yes of course." He said confidently.

Bucky let out a sigh, his flesh and metal arm hugging them closer together. It wasn't the most comfortable feeling, laying on the reactor, but the warmth of Bucky's body was nice. Bucky's fingers began to lazily trace shapes into the small of his back. "I was scared." Bucky mumbled.

"I wouldn't let you do anything that could jeopardize seeing your daughter." He said, shifting slightly to take the pressure off the reactor. He was starting to calm down, leaving an uncomfortable ache in his balls. He still wasn't ready to get up. In spite of the discomfort he could easily fall asleep like this. He gave himself another few minutes to enjoy before speaking again. "We need to get you to bed." He said, bracing his hands and pushing up enough to get Bucky to let him up.

Bucky thankfully didn't protest too much as he helped pull the other man to his feet. Bucky was pretty steady on his feet. He lead the way down the hall, opening the door for the other man and stepped into the doorway to monitor and make sure Bucky got into bed.

Bucky managed to pull off his shirt and pants without any trouble. He started to pull the door closed. "Tony?" He stopped, pushing it back open. Bucky was watching him from the middle of the bedroom.

"You don't have to go." Bucky offered.

"We aren't doing anything." He repeated. It wasn't any easier the second time around.

"Yeah. Yeah I know." Bucky pushed his hair back out of his eyes. "I just. Nevermind."

"Don't want to be alone?" He offered.

The incline and drop of Bucky's chin was almost non-existent.

"Is that what you want? And don't nod. I need to hear it." He kept his tone neutral.

"Yes." It was quiet, a bit hard to hear even in the silence but it was enough. He stepped inside the door and closed it behind himself.

"Go lay down." He said, naturally settling into a commanding tone that the situation did not really warrant. He pulled off his shoes and socks. The jeans would not be comfortable to sleep in. Resignedly he pulled them off too before crossing around to the empty side of the bed. "We aren't doing anything." He said, not sure if the reminder was for himself out Bucky. The other man shifted behind him, the metal arm tentatively slipping to rest on his waist. The weight was comforting. "Night Bucky." He said, pulling the pillows how he liked.

"Night." Bucky mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter this time. Sorry for the delay! We had some big storms last night and I got totally distracted from posting.
> 
> Also, this chapter is definitely where things start to go Explicit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Bucky

As his eyes flickered open he barely managed to bite back a groan. He felt like someone was taking a sledgehammer to his skull. He felt warm, almost too warm. He took a slow deep breath. He didn't feel nauseous yet so he hadn't drank too much. The room was dark. Had he left the curtains closed last night? When had he gone to bed?

Jess. The memory hit like a ton of bricks. She'd threatened to have the case dismissed. He'd been so mad, and worried, and scared. He'd drowned it in alcohol. Definitely not the first and probably not the last time she'd driven him to drinking.

Movement in the bed next to him made him freeze. Tony. Tony was in his bed. As if waiting for this realization a flood of memories washed over him. Tony coming inside. Tony worried. The weight of Tony on top of him as they kissed? Tony had tried to take advantage of him? No. No he'd pulled the other man in. Tony had joked in the garage yesterday, offering. It had been on his mind as he bit his tongue with Jess. It had been on his mind as he drank. 

The kiss had been amazing too and the weight of Tony's body on him. Fuck he'd missed that closeness. Even with the few women he'd slept with after Jess it hadn't been like that. And definitely not with her. 

Tony had been so insistent that they not do anything while he was drunk. Good thing one of them had been. He'd been ready to give anything a try just to feel that connection. He'd just been drunk. That was the only reason. But even now he could feel the whisper of curiosity in the back of his mind. He'd felt it in the garage too.

His metal arm still wrapped around Tony's waist. It moved lightly with the rise and fall of Tony's breathing. Carefully he stretched out his fingers letting them roam over the small section of skin he could. He could definitely feel the shadow of muscle he'd seen yesterday. A thin line of hair moved from his belly button down into his boxers. That was definitely different than what he was used to. He expected it to bother him but as his fingers ran through absently back and forth he found it really didn't. 

Tony hummed softly and rolled, tucking into his chest. He went still. Was the other man awake? But Tony's breathing leveled out again. Just moving in his sleep. Tony's cheek rested on his chest. He could he the man's breath across his skin. His hand began to move again. Tony's back felt more familiar. Smooth skin, a shallow dip over his spine. Tony shifted and something very unfamiliar bumped into his leg. Tony was hard. 

He had been yesterday too. He remembered it rubbing softly against the crook of his hip. That should bother him. It definitely should. He tried to hold on to a feeling of revulsion, completely aware he didn't harbor any such feelings. But he'd been drunk. He wasn't now though and if he was completely truthful the only thing he felt was that quiet curiosity. 

Thankfully before he had any time to act on anything, Tony stirred against his chest. He watched as Tony's eyelashes fluttered for a moment before blinking his eyes open. Tony's arm snaked around his waist and squeezed softly, pulling them closer. Tony's hips flexed, instinctively grinding Tony's cock against his leg before the other man stilled. Tony yawned and nestled closer to his chest. "Hey." He said, trying to keep his voice quiet both to not startle Tony and to, hopefully, not to further irritate the jack hammers in his skull.

"Hmmm, hey." Tony purred sleepily. "Feeling better?"

"Worse."

"Hangover?" Tony asked sympathetically.

"So bad."

"Hmm. Need to get you a girlfriend. Two aspirin, a glass of water and sex. Best hangover cure." Tony stretched. "Time's it?"

"No clue." He said then resolutely pushing back exactly  _ why _ his brain latched on to it asked, "How does sex help a hangover?"

"Endorphins ease the misery. Exercise increases circulation which helps speed out the toxins. And really who needs an excuse for sex? Seriously?" Tony asked sitting up enough to look at him a smirk on his lips.

Before he could think or talk himself out of it, he brought the metal hand up to Tony's neck and pulled the man forward into another kiss. Tony made a sound of surprise against his lips but didn't pull away. 

The kiss wasn't as frantic as the night before. Tony's hands moved slowly. One hand whispered up his chest and ghosted over his neck to bury in his hair. The other came to rest on his shoulder, fingers spread across the junction of flesh and metal. 

Never breaking the kiss Tony pushed up slowly onto his knees until Tony hovered over him. Carefully he moved his flesh hand to roam over Tony's back, keeping the metal one cupped against Tony's neck. Tony leaned back first breaking the kiss. "Bucky we should tal—"

He pulled Tony back down and taking advantage of the other man's open mouth, plunged his tongue past Tony's lips. A low rumble slipped through the other man before Tony surged forward returned the kiss. He released the other man's neck and pulled lightly on his side. 

Tony must have understood because a moment later he was pinned back under Tony's weight just like last night. Somehow that made it feel 100 times better. The reactor pressed a cool ring into his chest which contrasted sharply against the heat of Tony's dick, pressed next to his. 

That tiny whisper of curiosity made him want to reach between them and feel Tony. To learn what the man felt like other the hardness and heat. Still that was probably something they should talk about if it was ever happening. Still maybe he could… He ground his hips up experimentally. The friction was like heaven. A low moan rumbled through Tony's chest and the man leaned back, breath coming quick through his parted lips.

"We both…need a very cold shower." Tony said. Tony's eyes drifted closed as he ground up again. He was not sure making out with anyone had ever gotten him this hard. That had to be a good thing right? And good things didn't need discussed. He tried to grind up again but Tony was slipping off of him. "You take a minute. I'm going to go get you some aspirin and water." Tony dropped a kiss to his forehead and stood. 

His eyes explored the exposed skin. Soft and smooth over hard muscles. Tony had scars too. Nothing like his but still visible even in the low light. Tony's cock tented the loose fabric of his boxers. He still felt that wonder in his mind. Exactly how would it feel to hold that in his hand?

As Tony left the room his mind continued to consider. Would it feel anything like holding his own cock when he jerked off? Probably similar? Would it be a good similar or be too different?

Tony returned several minutes later. "Sit up." He said in a tone that was unmistakably an order. It reminded him of last night. "Slowly!" Tony added as he started to move to follow. He was glad for the reminder to go slow. His head spun as he sat up. The first whisper of nausea tried to take root in his belly. Tony passed him both the aspirin and the water. He took the medicine and downed the glass. 

Tony crossed to the window to pull back the curtain. He closed his eyes, prepared for the blinding sun over his already aching head. But when Tony drew them back, it was still dark out. "5 in the morning. We slept something like twelve hours."

He blinked at that thought. Had he slept that long ever? It would explain why he was less miserable than he'd expected. Tony crossed back over and sat on the bed. "So I think it might be good if we talked." Tony said softly.

He closed his eyes. Of course Tony was right. They definitely needed to but the idea of having to actually  _ do _ that made his stomach turn in a way that had nothing to do with the alcohol. "I don't know. I" He stopped, trying to put words together that made any kind of sense just made his head pound more. Still Tony was watching, face relaxed and open. He didn't look frustrated or upset. "After what you said yesterday in the garage." He tried again. Tony nodded but otherwise didn't seem concerned that he was having to piece it together so slowly. "I was curious."

Tony nodded. "What part of what I said made you feel that way?"

He felt his ears getting hot, "About what you'd do." He said. Tony nodded as if this wasn't embarrassing as fuck.

"You were curious about what I'd do?" He nodded mutely. "And then you had to come back here and fought with Jess and got drunk with that still on your mind?" Tony continued. He nodded again feeling his cheeks heating up along with his ears. 

"I'm sorry. I should have never done that last night."

"Hey." Tony's voice was soft, comforting. "Do you  _ regret _ kissing me last night?" No. He knew he didn't. Still it took him several moments to shake his head no. "What about this morning?" Another head shake. "Then no reason to apologize. I just want to make sure we are on the same page. I happen to quite like kissing you. So trust me I didn't suffer." Tony winked and he couldn't have stopped his lips turning up even if he wanted to. 

Silence fell between them but it felt comfortable. The headache was starting to fade and he was relieved that nausea wasn't arriving in its wake. 

"This next question is harder, so I don't expect you to answer right away. I don't even expect you to answer today, just take your time." He turned his eyes back to Tony's. "How far do you want this to go? Because I'm perfectly fine being friends who cuddle and sometimes make out. Trust me I've had far worse arrangements. Or if the kissing is out that's fine too. But if you want things to go farther, I expect you to tell me. Fair?" 

"Fair." He said softly. What  _ did _ he want? He knew he felt curious, he wanted to explore that but he wasn't exactly sure where that went. "What if…" he asked before realizing he was speaking. "What if I don't know exactly where I want things to go?"

Tony looked curious and interested, a far cry from the annoyance he'd expected. "What do you mean? 

"I want to try more but I don't know what more." He explained lamely.

Tony scooted forward. "That's fair. It's all pretty new. Let's try it this way. Do you still want to kiss?" He nodded. "I need to hear you say it." Tony pressed.

"Yeah." He mumbled.

"But you think you'd like to try more than that?" 

He nodded again before correcting, "Yeah."

"Good." Tony purred. The soft praise sent a jolt of pleasure straight through his chest and down to his cock. "Did you like it when we were rubbing against each other?"

"Yes." He said quickly, refusing to give his brain enough time to catch up on the conversation.

"What about seeing each other naked? Masturbating, blowjobs, sex?" 

"Maybe?" He said before running his hands through his hair with a groan.

"Hey hey." Tony's voice was soft. "You're okay. You're doing good. Absolutely nothing wrong with thinking you'd be interested. Here's what I'm thinking. We are going to be working together for a least a few more weeks so we have time. Lots of time. If you think you want to try something, tell me. If you do try it and don't like it, just say the word and it will stop. Even if I'm in the middle of giving you head or you're fucking me or whatever. If you don't like it speak up and it will stop. I think most important is whatever we do we both enjoy so we can come out the other side not hating each other. Deal?"

He couldn't help but smile along. "Deal."

"Good. For now let's get that hangover taken care of. How you feeling?"

"Headaches gone. Mouth is dry. Doing okay."

Tony nodded. "Nausea?"

He shook his head. "Let's go get some more fluid in you and some food."

He stood, following Tony into the living room. Soft light filtered through the windows as the sun began to rise. He realized, belatedly, that neither of them wore more than boxers and he was definitely still at least half hard. But he wasn't alone. The front of Tony's underwear tented out as well, a dark spot where Tony’s cock had leaked. "So when did you become the master of the hangover cure?" He asked, trying to think about anything other than slipping a hand in Tony's boxers just to see what he felt like.

Tony snorted. When he didn't join in Tony asked, "you're joking?" He shook his head. "Oh. I mean I was functionally alcoholic before my thirteenth birthday so—"

"What?!" He asked, turning to look at the other man.

"Well, yeah? I thought that was common knowledge. Howard was a big fan of bourbon in the bottle to help with teething so I guess I started pretty young but I started drinking by choice at eight I think. Definitely had my first hangover before ten."

He was aware he was staring but was unable to stop. "Your parents didn't stop you?" He finally asked.

Tony snorted. "If they did know they never said anything. Except the time Howard caught me sneaking his stuff. I got better about ordering my own after that."

He'd always just assumed Tony's parents were perfect. The media had always showed them happy, smiling, holding hands. But then the media showed a lot of things that weren't true. Tony had gone quiet. He remembered too late that Tony didn't like talking about his family. If that little revelation was anything to go on it made sense. "Well I appreciate anything the grand master can teach me." He said. Tony seemed to relax after that. 

They sat and ate in comfortable silence as the sun came up. He tried to imagine the things Tony had suggested. He'd heard of masturbating together but that sounded awkward as fuck. Obviously he knew mechanically how sex would work but he wasn't sure he'd enjoy giving out or receiving. Tony probably preferred being on top anyway and he wasn’t rushing to try that. Then again he hadn't thought he'd like the kissing but that was definitely wrong. 

Still maybe he'd still just been drunk this morning. He definitely felt completely sober now. He watched Tony wash the dishes. Best to test it out. He stood, walking into the kitchen as Tony finished up and dried his hands. If Tony was at all confused by him stepping into Tony's space, or his hands coming to rest on the other man's hips he didn't show it. Instead Tony's arms easily circled around his neck. 

He moved to wrap his arms around the other man, pulling them closer. He could feel the chill of the reactor, a sharp contrast to the warmth of Tony's skin. He forced himself to focus on the fact this was Tony, rather than on the warmth and closeness. It didn't matter though. He still didn't feel grossed out or uncomfortable.

He turned, bringing their lips back together. He could feel the edges of Tony's lips turn up as the other happily returned to kiss. Tony's facial hair scratched lightly against his face. Tony's hands began to move, slowly exploring down his back. He waited reflexively for Tony to encounter the scars there, for his fingers to pull away but Tony's fingers didn't even hesitate in their exploration. It was surprisingly nice even as Tony's fingers ghosted over scars thick enough he could no longer feel the touch. Jess had hated the scars. The few women he'd been with since seemed almost scared to touch them. 

He shifted slightly definitely aware they were both getting hard again. Fuck he needed to take a shower and jerk off if for no other reason to relieve the ache in his balls. He pulled back, breaking the kiss before things got bad enough he started making rash decisions. Tony seemed unconcerned about the abrupt end. Instead the other man smiled easily up at him. "Getting any less weird?" Tony asked.

"How do you mean?"

"I still remember the first time I was with a guy instead of a girl. There are some slight differences." Tony winked.

"When were you first with a guy?" He asked, still not sure exactly how he would answer the first question.

If Tony was aware of the deflection he didn't comment. "It was still in boarding school. How old would I have been? Twelve? Thirteen? Somewhere in there. It was before MIT. definitely."

"Just did everything young didn't you?" He teased.

Tony smirked. "In my defense puberty hit that school like a ton of bricks. Everyone was screwing everyone. The staff knew too. Condoms and stuff everywhere. Then MIT wasn't much different." 

He leaned back in surprise, "You still got some at MIT? Wasn't everyone  _ much _ older? Like illegally older?"

Tony shrugged. "Still got drunk all the time too. Tried every drug at least once. Never was my thing. I don't like how out of control I felt with them. You never answered my question."

Damn, he had noticed. "Yeah less weird." He said. Then before he considered he might not want to know the answer he asked, "Do my scars not gross you out?"

Tony looked surprised by the question. It was, he realized, kind of random. "No. Why would they?"

"Because they are gross?" 

"Bucky, I told you before. You are sexy as fuck. And that includes the scar and your arm. And seeing them now, being able to feel them," Tony's fingers ran lightly down his ribs again, "has done nothing but validate my original opinion. Now, go get dressed and we can go work on the bikes."

"Don't tell me what to do." He grumbled, more to have anything to say than to argue. Tony didn't reply. Instead the other man just raised an eyebrow. He grumbled but stepped back heading towards the bedroom to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Tony

He let himself lean against the counter an extra moment before wandering down the hall to get dressed. The ache in his balls loudly suggested jerking off before changing. He was used to a lot of sexual things but days of teasing with no release wasn't one of them. 

He paused to glance at Bucky's door before entering his own. If anyone had told him 24 hours ago that their relationship would be taking such a sharp turn he'd have laughed. Still Bucky seemed genuinely curious and not even remotely turned off by anything they were doing. It was a pretty good indicator that this was probably something that had already been there. They were just tapping into it. It made him wonder what else was dormant in the man's preferences. He definitely took to orders well enough. He shouldn't smile at that but if they were going to be even remotely compatible that definitely helped.

Bucky had started all the kisses so far. Only fair to start evening the score, see if he reacted differently. He heard Bucky's door open moments before his own. 

He stepped out and immediately into the other man's space. His eyes tracked Bucky's, looking for any discomfort or misgivings but none came. He leaned in, pressing Bucky against the wall. The change was instant. Bucky's pupils widened, his lips parted. He slotted his leg between Bucky's if for nothing else than to feel the man's cock hardening against his thigh. He pressed closer, leaning up, watching as Bucky's eyes drifted closed and pressed the softest chaste kiss against the man's lips before stepping back and walking backwards down the hall. "Ready to go work?"

He waited to see exactly how Bucky would react. The other man's eyes snapped open at the sudden loss of contact. There were several seconds were he could practically see the gears trying to fire back up in Bucky's mind. "Fucking tease." The man finally said. No heat, no anger. Good. 

He smiled. "Aww I just wanted to be sure you were thinking about me." He said with a wink before turning and moving to the door. He could hear Bucky following easily. 

Thankfully for his aching balls the assembly of the bike offered more than enough to distract him. He wasn't sure how long they worked in silence. "So what kind of stuff do you like in the bedroom?" Bucky's question was more than enough to yank his mind out of the debate he'd been having about camshafts. 

He considered a moment before deciding to go broad. "I like to be in charge." He answered easily, eyes tracking Bucky's as he spoke.

The man seemed unconcerned at the response. "That works considering I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing."

He sat down the part he'd been holding, giving Bucky his full attention. He opened his mouth to say that of course the other man had some idea but he stopped. He remembered how annoying it had been when people had said the same thing to him when he was figuring it all out. Instead he said, "You ever done anal with a girl?"

Bucky's ears went pink. If that still wasn't the fucking cutest thing ever. Bucky shook his head "Jess wasn't into it."

He nodded, carefully schooling his expression. Had he only ever been with Jess?! "Were you with other women before Jess?" He asked calmly. There was a  _ long _ pause before Bucky shook his head no.

"And the few after were just quickies. Nothing…" Bucky tapered off.

He smiled in what he hoped was an encouraging way. "We can go as slow or quick as you want. If you want to get there we will." Bucky nodded again. "I gotta ask though, just not that interested in dating or...?" He let himself trail off. Bucky had a strange expression on his face. "Sorry." He said quickly. "Forget I asked."

"I had to work during school to help support my family." Bucky said to the wheel of his bike. "Not much time."

He nodded. "Ahh. Yeah. I've only really dated one person and it was an unmitigated disaster so…" he shrugged. Crossing to where Bucky knelt he waited till the other man stood and wrapped his arms around Bucky's waist. He hated admitting Trey ever existed. But if Bucky had even glanced in the general direction of the news any time within six months of that event he probably already at least knew of Trey. Bucky's arms slipped around him. He opened his mouth to speak when the crunch of gravel outside made his heart leap into his throat.

Bucky turned to look. "You expecting more packages today?" 

His heart slowly minutely. "Yeah." 

"Stay here. I'll go get it." He nodded watching Bucky step out of the garage. He stayed watching through the window just in case, anxiety singing in his ears.

Bucky flagged over the UPS worker and signed for the purchase then stood by as the man unloaded the boxes. His heart didn't slow completely until the truck turned and drove away. "Is this the last of it?" Bucky called as he tentatively crossed the lawn to help with the stack of boxes. 

"Yeah, unless I want to do any more upgrades." He winked. Bucky rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. They carried the boxes into the shop. "Now where were we?" He purred once the shops doors closed behind them. Setting the boxes down he moved over and slipped his arms back around Bucky's waist. Bucky smirked as his arms wrapped around him. He should be working on the bike. He was aware of that fact. Still being close was so comforting. "You going to be ready to ride out tomorrow?" He asked softly.

Bucky's chin bumped the top of his head as the man quickly turned to look down at him. "Tomorrow?" He could hear the disbelief.

"Yeah I've got all the parts, assembly won't take long." 

Bucky nodded. "I mean…Yeah? I'll be ready I guess. Do I need to pack or something?"

"Just enough for the trip. We will get you everything else when we get to New York."

Bucky stepped back. He immediately missed the closeness. Bucky's expression was dark. Had he changed his mind about coming? His heart dropped into his stomach. "Maybe you could walk me through the plan again." Bucky said, his tone set but unreadable.

He took a slow breath before speaking, "So it's a 40 hour trip. We could make it in 4 days but since I personally haven't been on a motorcycle," how long had it been?  _ Since Trey _ his mind unhelpfully provided, "in a lot of years I think spreading it out over 5 is better." Bucky nodded and he continued, "I'll get all the accommodations taken care of. Then once we get to New York I'll get you a badge and entered into the faculty systems so you can come and go from SI as much as you need to. I'll get you set up with some custom suits so you blend in. After that I'll work on taking Obie out. Once he's been exposed and arrested we will get you set up with the lawyers you need to win custody of RJ and then we can go our separate ways."

As he spoke Bucky took a step back and now leaned against one of the shop stools, his arms folded, eyes moving as he thought. He wanted to say more, provide something to help convince the man to come. If he was honest with himself as long as he had J it was doable alone. Maybe it was best he was alone. He could call Bucky when he was done. It would make sense if the man didn't want to come. It was a lot to ask if anyone let alone someone who already saved his life. He—

"So I guess 5 days of clothes then?" Bucky's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Maybe six to be safe." He found himself saying automatically as his brain struggled to spin back up. 

"I'll have to do some laundry. Need me to toss in anything of yours?" Bucky asked, pushing up to standing. 

He shook his head dumbly. Bucky smiled and squeezed his shoulder. "I'll be back in a bit."

He watched the other man's return to the house. A wave of relief was spreading sluggishly over him. He shouldn't be relieved. He should feel bad. He was effectively uprooting a man's life for an undetermined amount of time over the cost of a few bike parts. Still the fact he wouldn't be completely alone overshadowed the guilt he felt. 

He set to work on the bike. "J get some music up." When Bucky returned to the garage with a plate of sandwiches he killed the music. 

Bucky smiled easily, "That's starting to look really good." 

"Thanks." He smiled, grabbing one of the sandwiches.

"So I'm all packed." Bucky said. His eyes scanned the man's face for the strange expression earlier but he couldn't see anything different. "Though I hope you're covering the cost of the suits. Not sure I have custom suit money."

"No. Neither of us will have to pay for it." He said, taking a bite and chewing before continuing. "So a few years back I noticed we would get a lot of applicants to SI that were crazy talented but were getting overlooked when they showed up in jeans and a t-shirt since that's all they could afford. So now my interviewers are strictly forbidden to hire or decline anyone based on looks and all new employees who need the help get the clothes for their job free. It's really brought in some impressive people who would have been tossed out otherwise.."

Bucky's expression was unreadable again but at least this time he didn't look upset. Bucky's hand moved to his cheek. "You really are amazing Tony." Bucky leaned forward. His body responded immediately as their lips touched. In spite of Bucky keeping it light his hands snaked over to roam across the other man's chest.

The kiss was over far too quickly but Bucky's hand remained cradling his cheek. He let his muscles relax slowly until Bucky's hand supported his head. "'M not." He mumbled, as Bucky's thumb slowly brushed over his cheek.

"Yes you are." Bucky said firmly, dropping a kiss on his forehead before letting his hand drop. He missed the contact immediately but Bucky was passing him another sandwich. "So I'm going to go into town and get the paperwork from the lawyer then I'll be back to do the final checks on my girl before tomorrow."

He nodded, his eyes moving to Bucky's bike. It looked ready but fluid levels would need checked. Lines as well.

Once they finished eating Bucky gave him a hug before leaving. He turned back to his own bike. The music swelled once more and he set to work.

Arms snaking around his waist made him jump. He waved J to turn down the music. How long had Bucky been gone? It felt like minutes. "Everything go okay?" He asked in lieu of voicing his confusion. Bucky's arms tightened around him but the man remained silent for several long moments. "Bucky what is it?"

"I want to kill him." Bucky rumbled into his neck. In spite of the words the low rumble shot straight to his dick. He forced himself to focus.

"What happened?" He asked, trying to turn in Bucky's hold. For a moment Bucky's arms remained locked around him but finally the man let him turn. Bucky's expression was one of frustration and pain. 

"I've been working…with this fucking asshole for years.  **_Years!_ ** And when I go in there to get the paperwork today this is all he has."

Bucky thrust a folder at him. As soon as he took it the other man began to pace the garage. He watched Bucky's progress a moment before opening the folder. It held a single sheet of paper. The title of the page indicated it was the original custody request. It also indicated it was page two of three meaning the other two pages were missing. 

"I've turned in documents, gone to classes, submitted pictures, video. I've done everything this man has asked for it and it's gone! All of it! I told him I'd be suing him next and he threatened to call the cops."  **Bang** .

He jumped as the sound reverberated through the garage. Bucky had punched the wall with his metal arm leaving a sizable crater in the cinder blocks. Any arousal at the tone of Bucky's voice vanished as memories licked at his mind of Howard and of Trey lashing out. His mouth went dry; his pulse jumped. He pressed back against the bench as Bucky resumed pacing. If he timed it right he could leave through the open garage door. Back inside he could go to his room, shut the door. Maybe that would keep him out of the other man's wrath till he was calm. If he could just….

"Shit, Tony." His eyes snapped back to Bucky who was no longer pacing. Instead he'd gone still, ice blue eyes locked on his face. He was too late. He had stayed frozen too long. His heart hammered as Bucky moved over. He closed his eyes and held his breath, waiting for the first hit. 

He jumped as arms wrapped around him again. "Shh. I'm sorry Tony. I'm just frustrated but it's okay. You're okay." He stilled uncertainly. Slowly he tried to relax. His muscles refused to obey as adrenaline continued to pound through him. Bucky gently removed the file from his hands and set it on the bench behind him. "You're okay." He repeated. "Breathe." As if waiting for permission his lungs filled with air. 

Slowly let his forehead drop into Bucky's shoulder. Bucky's hand slipped into the hair at the base of his neck. Slowly Bucky's fingers began to push back and forth through his hair, scratching gently at his scalp. He sighed softly at the contact. His heart finally slowed enough it wasn't pounding into the reactor with every beat. 

“Everything is okay.” Bucky whispered softly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten pissed like that. I’m not going to hurt you Tony. Everything is okay. Okay?” He nodded, pulling in a long breath through his nose. “Looks like you made a lot of progress while I was gone.” Bucky continued.

He glanced over his shoulder at the bike. It was slowly becoming recognizable as a bike rather than metal and parts. He still had a ways to go before it looked pretty but it was at least going in the right direction. He smiled weakly. “It’s almost like I know what I’m doing.” He said, aware that it didn’t sound as much like a joke as he had intended.

Bucky smiled all the same. “I am going to get mine finished, then I’ll go start some dinner.”   
  


He nodded, turning back to his bike as Bucky moved across the garage. He shouldn’t have freaked out like that. It was stupid. He scolded himself. He forced himself to focus on attaching the bolt to the part he’d set aside when Bucky had returned home. The music he’d be listening to returned, slow at first, then gaining volume until it filled the garage. He let the thud of the base draw his mind into the project.

He wasn’t sure when Bucky left, the other man didn’t tell him he was leaving. Or maybe he had told him and he didn’t hear it over the music. Whatever the case when he turned the other man was no longer knelt next to his bike. He was getting close to finishing himself. Just another hundred parts or so. Then it would need polished and cleaned to get the overall grime off. That shouldn’t take long. He would definitely be done before tomorrow. He paused to glance over at the time Jarvis had displayed full screen on the laptop for him. Only 5. He had plenty of time. 

The sound of the music fading brought his head back up to look around. Bucky stood next to Jarvis. “Ready for dinner” he asked. The time on the laptop showed 6:30. He blinked. He had only just checked the lock. Where had the last hour and a half gone? 

“Yeah.” he said instead of voicing his confusion. As he followed Bucky up to the house he remembered the man mentioning hyperfixation. He didn’t have anything wrong with him. He pushed the idea away. He was just focused on getting the bike done.

The house smelled amazing when he stepped inside. “What did you make? It smells heavenly.” Bucky laughed easily. 

“Shepherd pie. Figured we could use something kind of heavy with the trip starting tomorrow.”

“Trying to make sure I’m full enough to sleep is more like it.” He accused.

Bucky just laughed before crossing into the kitchen. “So what time are we leaving in the morning?” Bucky asked as he handed him a plate.

“Just once we are both up I guess. Wake me up when you get up, we can have some coffee, and something to eat then leave?” He couldn’t help but groan as he took the first bite. Impossibly it tasted better than it smelled.

“You  _ are _ planning on sleeping tonight right? I would hate to see that pretty bike get all scuffed up.”

“Uh huh. I see what you care about.” he said with a wink, “Yea i’m going to sleep tonight.”

“How much more do you have to do tonight?”

“Not much. Another hour or two I should be down to just cleaning up.” 

“It’s going to be weird.” Bucky said, his voice quiet. “Going to New York.”   
  
“You’ve never been?” he asked. There was more surprise in his voice than he’d meant.

“No. I haven’t travelled much.” Bucky said. “Growing up there was no money, then I did a bit for the military but never very far. Then after that it was straight through to Afghanistan and straight back. I’ve gone back and forth to California a number of times but that's most of my travelling.”

He leaned back in his chair. He had been to most of the 50 states, plus several dozen countries overseas. “Maybe after all this is done I can pay to help you travel some. I mean I owe you big time.”   
  


“Getting my daughter back will be enough.” Bucky said, his tone almost tight. “I don’t need charity.”

Ahh. “Nothing like that.” He said calmly. He definitely could understand not wanting charity. “I was actually thinking, since it’s my fault you are out of a job, that maybe once all this is over we could find you a position in SI. One that you could just do remotely so you don’t have to actually  _ be _ in New York?”

Bucky looked startled. “I don’t know what you’d have me doing. I’m not exactly great at engineering or math or any of the stuff your company probably needs.” 

He shrugged. “SI needs more than just the people to do the books and the building. We can look over it okay? Once we get to New York.” Bucky nodded. “So the travel could be included in that.” He finished lamely. He owed Bucky so much more than just helping with his legal trouble. He would likely be dead if it wasn’t for the other man. He would do everything in his power to be sure that Bucky was set up for life.

He hadn’t been kidding about the heavier food either. His eyelids felt heavy as he chewed the last bite. “I’m going to go finish up in the shop.”

Bucky looked like he was feeling the effects too. The man stretched before nodding. “Do I need to do anything here for you? Pack or anything?”

“If you have a backpack or something that would be great but otherwise I’ll just take care of it when I get back in.”

Bucky nodded. “See you in a bit then.”

He returned to the garage. “J, can you start pulling up the guard rotation on the New York building?” He said by way of greeting to the laptop has he passed.

“Already complete sir. Based on the information I’ve compiled I would suggest attempting to access the maintenance elevator between 10:47 and 11:02 p.m.”

“What happens before and after those times?”

“Security does a loop around the building at 10:30 and the overnight cleaning crew arrives by 11:10.” 

“Got it.” He tightened down the screw.

It was 9:30 before he finally grabbed the laptop and turned the lights off in the shop. His bike stood gleaming next to Bucky’s, ready departure the next morning. Bucky sat on the couch, the T.V. was on but he didn’t seem to be paying much attention. “Get it done?” The man asked as he came in.

“Ready for the morning.” He answered. Bucky nodded. Dropping the laptop on the recliner, he crossed to the couch and dropped onto it, curling into Bucky’s side. Bucky’s arm slipped over his shoulders. He wrapped his own arm around Bucky’s waist, his head moving to rest against the other man’s chest. He let his eyes close as he relaxed into the slow rise and fall of Bucky’s breathing. 

“Anything else I should know before we go?” Bucky’s voice rumbled under his cheek as the man spoke. He shook his head. Turning his chin up he pressed a soft kiss into Bucky’s lips. The hand on his back moved up to cup the back of his head. When Bucky’s tongue slipped out to lick cautiously at his lips he opened willingly. Holding back his instinct to try to take over he relaxed and allowed Bucky’s tongue to explore. The metal arm snaked around his waist and in one fluid movement pulled up him to straddle Bucky’s thighs. 

He felt more than heard a satisfied purr rumble through Bucky’s chest as his hands moved up to bury in the long soft strands of Bucky’s hair. His mind filled with ideas of exactly what he wanted to do with the other man but he pushed them away. Bucky needed to be in control of at least what they did. Though he could definitely enjoy some of the details. He ground his hips down and Bucky’s jerked up in response. He couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. One of his hands slipped down between them to rest over Bucky’s heart. He could feel it hammering under the skin. 

  
Bucky pulled back from the kiss to look into his eyes. “Thought a lot about you today. About this.” Bucky’s voice was deep and just on the edge of breathless.

“Yea?” He asked. It was  _ so _ hard not to push. Still he’d been serious about coming out the other side of this thing not hating each other. 

“Hmm.” Bucky hummed and was quiet a moment before speaking again. “I still don’t know exactly how much or how far I want to go.” 

“Is there anything you know for sure you  _ don’t _ want?” He offered. Bucky dropped his head forward stopping less than an inch away from his forehead colliding with the reactor. “Sorry, my chest isn’t the best pillow anymore.” He said with a smirk. 

“I just don’t know.” Bucky mumbled, ignoring his apology. 

“Do you want to do anything tonight? Other than this, because I’ve been enjoying this.” Bucky snorted.

“Nothing tonight. Not with us both getting up early.” Bucky arched up and nipped at his lower lip. A shiver ran straight down his spine and he sighed. 

“Tease.” he opened his mouth to continue but Bucky was kissing a line down his neck that effectively short circuited any further thought. Bucky’s thumb caught the neck of his shirt, pulling it over enough to expose his collar bone. Bucky’s eyes held his as he leaned forward until his lips settled at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. When he didn’t push away or protest the other man’s tongue darted out to lap at the sensitive skin. He swallowed down a moan, not wanting to do anything to break Bucky out of the moment and potentially bring things grinding to a stop.

Bucky’s teeth closed gently over the spot before he returned to sucking and lapping at the area. Too late he realized he probably should have warned the other man he bruised like a damn banana. Too late now. He ground his hips, blindly seeking friction as any blood left in his brain shot south when Bucky’s teeth closed again on the increasingly sensitive skin. When Bucky’s hand slipped between them he stilled. Or at least he was still until Bucky hesitantly palmed his cock through his jeans. Then almost involuntarily he thrust against the warmth of the man’s fingers.

“We need to stop.” Bucky said softly. He opened his mouth, ready to beg or plead or anything to keep things going but stopped himself. He’d promised that Bucky would set the pace and if he said they needed to stop he would respect that, no matter how hard. Still in spite of his words Bucky’s palm remained sandwiched between their cocks. And behind the other man’s eyes he could see  _ something _ . So he didn’t move to press things forward but he also didn’t jump off. Bucky’s fingers moved again, squeezing lightly through the denim. “I think….” Bucky looked down at his hand then back up to meet his eyes “I think tomorrow maybe I could see you?”

He bit back the playful retort that Bucky was clearly already seeing him and instead nodded. “Whatever you want to do.”

“Thank you.” Bucky said quietly. 

He leaned in and kissed Bucky gently. “Of course. Though you want any blood to ever return to my brain you will have to stop that.” 

Bucky snorted and pressed harder against the front of his jeans. He couldn’t have stifled the moan if he wanted to as his hips stuttered forward. “Asshole.” he muttered as Bucky flashed him a grin before sliding his hand away.

As he rolled onto the couch to tuck back into Bucky’s side he knew he would definitely need to rub one out before bed if he had any hopes of sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Bucky

He was sitting up in bed before he even realized he was awake. The sounds of the ambulance siren chased him out of his dreams. Glancing over the clock read 2 a.m. He’d only gotten four hours of sleep. He groaned and tossed back the covers. He’d never managed to go back to sleep after that nightmare. Standing he wandered out into the living room. The lights were out and it was quiet. Tony was sleeping. Good. At least one of them would be well rested. He didn’t feel like taking the time for pour over coffee so instead he just turned on the automatic before dropping down to the couch.

A bang down the hall followed by the hurried sound of footsteps alerted him to Tony’s arrival moments before the man appeared eyes wide and panicked. “Welcome to the can’t sleep club. I just started coffee.” Tony’s eyes snapped to him. In an instant the smaller man had crossed to the couch and burrowed into his side. He pulled Tony close, more than happy to have companionship. 

"Nightmare?" Tony addressed his ribs.

"Yeah. You?"

Tony nodded. He could feel the smaller man's heart still pounding. He looked out the window into the darkness. A distant flash of lighting revealed it was raining. Hopefully that would clear up before trying to ride out on the bikes.

The coffee maker beeped but before he could stand Tony spoke. "So, I had an idea." He turned to glance down at the back of Tony's head.

"Okay?"

"And you don't have to say yes. I'm not trying to push or anything. I know I said I'd let you lead everything and it's not that I'm trying to get more or change things and I definitely don't want you to feel like you have to or do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable. I just thought, especially since we have to ride so long tomorrow that maybe it would be better than loading up on coffee. Not that I haven't done that more times than I—."

He pulled Tony's chin up and kissed him, slowly and gently. "You're rambling Tony."

"I...yeah sorry. Let's go back to bed. Together. But only to sleep." He finished hastily. Then after a moment's pause, "I don't know about you but that was the best sleep I had in a  _ long _ time."

He nodded. "Yeah me too." He patted Tony's back and then stood. Tony followed him back into his bedroom. It felt far different inviting the man into his bed sober. As they laid down he felt acutely aware of his limbs, as if he couldn't exactly figure out what to do with them. 

Thankfully Tony didn't seem to have any of the same concerns, or if he did he hid it very well. Tony scooted back until the line of Tony's back pressed against him. He hesitated a moment. Last night he'd curled easily around the smaller man but now it felt almost too close. 

He pushed the thoughts away and wrapped his metal arm around Tony's waist. He could feel Tony sigh. It took less than five minutes for Tony's breathing to level out. He lay listening to the steady sound. 

He was being stupid. Yesterday he'd made out with Tony. He'd fucking grabbed the man's dick through his pants. And they'd slept together last night. Before he could think too much he rolled into his side, drawing Tony’s back flush with his chest. The other man hummed softly in his sleep but didn't wake up.

He leaned closer, pressing a kiss into Tony's hair before closing his eyes and letting sleep pull him down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His alarm was going off. He should turn it off. Still he was so comfortable. Maybe just a few more minutes…

"J?" Tony's mumbled against his chest. "I'm awake. Mute."

With a groan he stretched backwards and swatted the alarm clock. In the night Tony had rolled over and wrapped his arm tightly around his waist. Tony's cheek rested over his heart. The reactor was pressing into his side, not enough to hurt but enough he could feel the unyielding metal against his skin. 

"Time's it?" Tony mumbled into his chest.

If the alarm had gone off "7:30."

"Wwhhyyyyyyy?" Tony moaned, nuzzling into his chest. 

"Because you told me to." He reminded Tony, catching the other man's chin he lifted it and kissed Tony's protesting mouth. 

He'd only meant for it to be a quick kiss but Tony apparently had other ideas. Tony's hand moved to bury in his hair as Tony's mouth surged against his. He opened and Tony tongue slipped in hungrily. Tony's other hand firmly rested on his metal arm holding it down. He could have easily broken the grip but the pressure was nice, almost soothing. As much as Tony had insisted so far that he control things, this felt indescribably better. 

Tony's hips ground into his. He could feel Tony's cock, hot and rock hard rubbing next to his own dick which was quickly filling in interest.

Tony broke the kiss, catching his bottom lip between his teeth and biting. The pain sent a thrill of arousal straight to his dick. "Shit!" Tony said suddenly. "Fuck. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I’m sorry.” Tony pulled back, dropping his head down. 

He could feel Tony's panting breath across his chest as the man struggled to compose himself. "Sorry." He mumbled again.

He considered, although briefly, accepting the apology and moving forward. They had a long day ahead. Now wasn't the time for anything like where that kiss had been moving. But still, that curiosity in the back of his mind was getting louder. Before he could talk himself out of it he reached down again and wrapped his hand around Tony's cock through his boxers.

The thin material allowed him to almost completely wrap his hand around the man. Tony let out a wordless moan and his hips stuttered forward involuntarily. "Shit Buck." Tony panted. He shouldn't have smiled but he couldn't stop himself.

Carefully he let his hand explore as well as it could through the material. With his other hand he reached down and pulled Tony's chin up. The warm brown eyes locked into his. He watched Tony's reactions as his hand moved. He looked so vulnerable and open, it was almost jarring. 

"On your back." He heard himself say before he was even aware he'd planned to speak. Tony however don't need to be told again. He rolled into his back and lay still. The complete vulnerability had eased back some. The smallest flicker of uncertainty shown through.

He placed a hand on Tony's stomach, fingers spread wide, and watched as his hand rose and fell with Tony's breathing. He closed his eyes and finally reaching over he tugged at the elastic of Tony's underwear. Tony seemed to easily follow the meaning as he lifted his hips off the bed.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting to see or to feel. He should definitely feel  _ something _ negative. He was quite confident of that. Steadying himself he pulled Tony's boxers down and off. 

Tony's cock sprang free to slap into the other man's belly. He was immediately surprised to see that Tony wasn't circumcised. Before he could even think to stop himself he reached over and touched Tony's foreskin, then realizing what he was doing, jerked his hand back like he'd been burned.

His eyes shot up to Tony's but the man seemed neither concerned nor upset with the touch or the reaction. Instead Tony looked completely at ease, reclined back and watching.

He turned to look back at Tony's cock. Tony was longer than he was, but he was definitely thicker. Reaching out he ran his fingers cautiously over the back of Tony's cock. It twitched at the touch. He wrapped his hand around it and gave Tony a few experimental strokes. It felt so similar and yet so different. If the purring moan Tony let slip he at least wasn't hurting the man. 

"Don't-" his voice came out rough and he cleared his throat before continuing, "don't think I've seen an uncut man before."

Tony smirked. "Not the first or last person to say that I'm sure." 

He had other questions that he let die in his throat. Tony wouldn't be able to answer things like did it feel different considering it wasn't like he'd been able to feel both sides. Instead he turned his attention to tightening his grip and began to move his hand. 

Somehow he'd expected, considering the sheer amount of sex Tony apparently had was legendary, that the other man would be bored easily or somewhat numb to the experience. Instead Tony came alive at the awkward movements. His hips jerked and twitched and he practically writhed on the bed as a litany of moans and gasps and broken words poured from his lips. It was intoxicating.

Somewhere in the back of his mind something was trying to loudly remind him he wasn't into men and that this was strange and different and wrong but the idea simply couldn't grab purchase with the fascination of watching Tony come undone. Still his arm was getting tired, this was not an angle he normally worked from. 

His hand slowed. He considered the metal one but without being able to feel if he was squeezing too hard that didn't seem like a good idea. Tony's eyes caught his. "Trust me?" The man asked making his brain shudder to a stop. Wordlessly he nodded. "Lay on your back." Tony prompted. He dropped down onto the bed.

Tony was up in an instant his hands on the edge of his boxer briefs, waiting. He nodded and lifted his hips. Tony pulled the underwear off. His own dick was dark red and leaking. No denying he'd been enjoying himself. Distantly he felt like he should probably be embarrassed or ashamed but then Tony was moving and the thoughts whispered away. Tony straddled his hips bringing their cocks together. Tony's hand wrapped as much around them both as he could and the man's hips began to roll. His head fell back against the pillow at the friction. "Shit. Tony." He panted.

"Shh, I've got you." Tony purred. He looked up. Tony's eyes were almost black, his pupils lust blown. "God you got me so close Bucky." Tony continued, his eyes drifting closed. "Not going to last much longer."

He could feel the pleasure building. "Me either." He whispered. His hands shot out, grabbing Tony's hips as he thrust up to meet Tony's movements. It took less than a moment before he was coming, wave after wave of pleasure rolling over him. Distantly he was aware of Tony's voice suddenly quieting at the man followed after. 

Tony's free hand dropped to his shoulder as Tony weakly supported himself. Slowly he felt his pulse and breathing slowly. He was a mess, his chest and stomach dappled from both of them. Blinking slowly he met Tony's eyes. Tony lips turned up in a smirk that should not be allowed to look that good.

"You okay?" Tony asked quietly. The concern in his voice mismatched with the confidence written on his face. 

"Yeah. Yeah. More than okay." He managed, sounding more out of breath than he'd intended. "Messy."

Tony laughed and he found himself joining in. "Shall we go shower?" Tony said, sliding off. Tony's dick, he couldn't help but notice had definitely not softened any. 

"Got enough fucking stamina?" He grumbled.

"What? Oh." Tony laughed again. "Yeah what can I say? The things I'm good at I am very good at."

"Cocky asshole." He said, standing gingerly to avoid messing up the sheets. 

Tony was already moving to his bathroom like he owned the damn place. He stalked after the smaller man grumbling. "How do you like it?" Tony asked as he entered the bathroom.

"What?" 

"The water?" Tony's eyes glanced at the taps which he'd already turned on. 

He reached out letting it fall on his hand then stepped in. To his surprise Tony followed. The shower wasn't exactly massive but Tony was small enough he could move a few steps without knocking into the other man. He washed his chest and stomach, trying not to think too hard about exactly what he was washing off. Now that they were done that voice that had tried so hard to remind him he didn't like men seemed to make more sense than it had in the moment. 

He turned and wet his hair but when he reached for the shampoo it was already in Tony's hands. "Kinda need that." He grumbled.

Instead of responding Tony popped the lid and pour a pool of shampoo into his hand. Stretching up Tony began to work the shampoo into his hair. He had his mouth open, fully prepared to tell Tony to fuck off and that he was perfectly capable of washing his own damn hair when Tony's fingers started to gently dig at his scalp. A low groan took the opportunity to pass through his open lips. "Turn around." Tony prompted gently. 

He let Tony gently turn him. His eyes drifted closed as Tony worked there shampoo into his hair. The anxiety and uncertainty faded as the man worked. When Tony gently guided him to turn he went willingly.

As he rinsed out the shampoo he heard the soft pop of his body wash opening. A few moments later he felt a washcloth on his shoulder. Was Tony seriously washing him? When he turned to look down at the smaller man Tony just winked and continued like it was the most fucking normal thing in the world. 

The soft scratch of the washcloth ran down his flesh arm first. Tony gently held his hand as he washed over each knuckle and then along each fingernail. Turning his hand over he ran the washcloth over each of the lines in his palm.

Back up his arm and under his armpit before over across his chest. Tony worked easily over his ribs taking extra care across his scars. Across his stomach and down he traced the lines of his hips down. Tony's eyes met his briefly as he gently washed his cock. "This is weird right?" He asked.

Tony smirked. "Is it?" Tony asked as he carefully ran the washcloth over his balls. "Do you not like it?" Tony bent to wash down his leg. "I can stop." 

"No." He said quietly. Tony washed down both of his legs then straightened again and began working carefully over his metal arm. He let his eyes close as Tony began to gently clean each plate with the same care and precision he had days before when he'd done the repairs.

By the time Tony was done he felt lazy and content. He rinsed off the soap and turned to face Tony again. His hand slipped up to gently wrap around the back of Tony's neck as he pulled the man in and kissed him. Tony didn't try to deepen the kiss, seemingly content to return to letting him lead.

"Thank you Tony." He whispered, pressing their foreheads together.

"Trust me it was torture." Tony said with a smirk. He rolled his eyes. "So, why don't you go get coffee started and I'll wash up and meet you out there." Tony said easily grabbing the shampoo as he spoke.

He frowned. "What about you?"

Something flicked across Tony's face. Surprise, definitely but something else too. Longing? Hope? But in an instant it was gone and Tony was speaking again. "Don't worry about me. You go take care of whatever you need to. I'll catch up."

Ignoring Tony's words he plucked the bottle from the other man's hands and popped open the cap. "Bucky, really. I'm fine." Tony's voice was uncharacteristically soft.

He hesitated a moment. Maybe Tony just didn't like it. Still he already had a glob of shampoo in his hand. Might as well see and if Tony clearly hated it he didn't have to use the body wash he could just go like Tony said.

He turned and began to work the shampoo in. It was immediately clear Tony definitely liked the attention. The smaller man practically melted at the gentle attention. So then why tell him to leave?

Tony had looked so surprised. Maybe Tony didn't think he'd want to reciprocate since things were still so new? Or maybe he'd just learned to expect no one was going to return the attention. He found himself hoping it was the first.

By the time he guided Tony to rinse his hair the other man was completely lax. When he reached over for the body wash Tony spoke again his voice still soft. "Bucky it's okay. You don't—."

"Hush." He chided gently. If he thought Tony had relaxed before the man went practically boneless as he ran the washcloth over him. He steered clear of the reactor at first, carefully washing down Tony's arms. "Will soap hurt the reactor?" He asked, working on getting the last of yesterday's grease off the other man's fingernails. 

Tony tensed for a moment before speaking, his voice full of a bravado that didn't quite reach his eyes, "You think I'd put something in my body that couldn't get soapy?"

He straightened and for the first time really stopped to look at the reactor. Even since he'd picked Tony up, the skin around the reactor looked more healed, less irritated. Gingerly he cleaned around the metal ring. He could feel the relaxation melting away. Tony didn't move, barely breathed, as he worked. Which made sense. If it was the only thing keeping him alive. 

He switched the washcloth to his metal hand and rinsed his other before carefully touching the reactor. He could feel the faintest hum of power beneath his fingertips. Tony took a shaky breath. "It's okay." He promised quickly. "Just realized I'd never really _ looked _ at it." Tony relaxed though only a bit. His fingers drifted down to the metal casing, then out to the skin around it. It felt strange, though not unlike his arm, the way the metal and skin met. 

Before his brain caught up with the motivation behind it he dropped his head and placed a kiss right on the middle of the device. A shudder ran through Tony but otherwise he didn't comment at the random action. 

Gently he finished cleaning around the reactor before moving down and across Tony's ribs. He'd finally gotten back to something more like a normal weight, though he could probably still use the other man's ribs like a xylophone. 

Working down he forced himself not to hesitate as he encountered Tony's cock, which had at least fully softened with the anxiety of his hand on the reactor. He had no idea if uncut guys needed cleaned differently and he sure as fuck wasn't asking  _ that _ . 

He stilled as his eyes were drawn to a thin white line on the inside of Tony's thigh. Had Tony cut himself? "Not what you think." Tony said, as if hearing his thought. "Shop accident, just in an annoying location."

"Was almost a lot more than annoying," he said, running the washcloth from the scar to the bottom of Tony's balls, less than an inch away.

"Tell me about it. There was so much blood I wasn't sure. There were several moments of absolute terror."

He snorted. Somehow talking made the situation less awkward so he asked, "What happened?"

"I was cutting some material on a table saw, big stuff so I was off to the side. What I didn't know is that after I sent up the blade and went to get the material someone came behind and swapped back to a different blade, cut their own thing and left. So I go to make my cut, the blade catches, breaks and sends pieces of metal everywhere. Caught a piece here too." Tony pointed to the palm of his left hand to a thin line. "63 stitches later, good as new."

"Jesus Tony." He sighed, standing to guide the other man to turn and beginning to run the washcloth over Tony's back. "You've had some close calls haven't you?"

"What mere morals call near misses and brushes with death I call Tuesday." He snorted. Tony's back was dappled with scars as well. Several seemed to cluster around where the reactor sat in his chest. He ran his fingers lightly over them.

"Shrapnel?"

"Yeah."

The fact Tony was even alive was probably nothing shy of a miracle. He'd seen men die in Afghanistan with less extensive injuries than Tony had suffered. "You never told me how exactly you came to have so much shrapnel in you." He said, moving back to washing.

"I didn't?" Tony sounded genuinely surprised. "The convoy I was in was attacked. All the people in my Humvee were killed. I tried to run and one of my own missiles went off about 5 feet from me. Just a little one though, nothing like what you had." Tony added quickly.

"How the fuck are you alive?" He said softly.

"I have theories on that but that's a story for another day." Tony said almost briskly, turning to rinse his back. "Thank you for taking care of me. A guy could get used to that." Tony winked.

He snorted, unable to fully push away the curiosity at Tony's words and the sense that the other man was deflecting. Still not his problem, not really. "So we will leave after we eat some breakfast?" He asked. Tony nodded. 

He stepped out of the shower and dried off. Tony grabbed his own towel. "Not going to lie, really curious about this theory." He said as he wandered into the bedroom for clothes.

Tony didn't reply right away and when he did his voice was thin. "Maybe we can talk about it tonight."

The tone made him immediately regret pushing. "Maybe." He agreed.

Tony walked out of his bedroom completely nude and, not counting his negative reaction to what he'd just said, looking completely content to be nude. Once Tony had closed the door on his own room he wandered into the kitchen. Tossing out the bitter smelling old coffee he started making a fresh pot. He'd almost finished bacon and eggs when Tony returned to the living room fully dressed. 

Tony poured himself a mug of coffee and sat cradling it on the couch. "Ready for this?" He asked quietly, trying to keep his own uncertainty out of his voice.

When Tony spoke it was clear the other man was feeling much more confident than he was. Or at least he sounded more confident. "Yeah. It will be good to get on the road." Turning to look at him Tony continued. "So when we stop, any talking we need to do will be you. My goal is to keep you from having to talk to anyone except hotel reception. It's safest that way. We can order extra room service at the hotels and pack it so we don't have to order for lunch. And once we get out of this state we can stop at self service gas stations." Tony fished something out of his pocket. "If we are followed we will split up and meet here." Tony traded the slip of paper for his plate of food as he walked over to sit next to Tony. "It's a house that Pepper and I have..had together. Totally off the books. Jarvis runs the place he will let you in and I'll meet you when it's safe."

He glanced at the address. It was in South Dakota. He really hoped it didn't come to that. They ate in silence both deep in their own thoughts. After eating he cleaned the plates and focused on making lunches while Tony did the last bit of packing. "Ready?" He asked when Tony returned to the living room. Tony nodded. 

  
Following Tony out the front door he locked up. It felt strange, leaving the house this time. When would he be back?  _ Would _ he be back? He shook that thought away and followed Tony to the shop. Opening the garage door they walked both bikes out. Tony pulled on a helmet. It completely blacked out his face. He took a slow breath and started up his bike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Tony

His bike rumbled to life beneath him. He closed his eyes, listening for several long moments to make sure he didn't hear anything. Next to him Bucky pulled on a helmet. Once Bucky gave him the thumbs up he rolled forward, carefully testing the throttle. He knew the bike’s potential but he wasn't interested in testing that now.

"Jarvis?" He asked as they rolled.

"Yes sir?" Jarvis' voice spoke from the tiny speaker he'd added into the helmet.

"Engage heads up display. Verify home interface integration." 

Immediately soft blue filled the front glass of the helmet. He paused at the turn out into the back road that lead to Bucky's driveway. "Integration fully operational."

"Begin route tracking." Immediately the road leading left glowed. He turned watching as the road for miles was tracked in a light blue line. "Continue to monitor SI and Obie. I don't want any surprises."

"Of course sir."

Bucky had moved up next to him so they could ride almost side by side. The other man stayed back a foot or so. Maybe when they reached the hotel he could install J into Bucky's helmet too so they could communicate. Originally he hadn't. He wanted time to think, to plan his design, to think about how to best take down Obie. But in practice being alone with his thoughts after having the other man as a constant fixture of his daily life, it was lonely.

Still he would have to get used to it. Bucky wouldn't want to hang around. Not once he'd kept his end of the promise, helped him get RJ back. Once his usefulness was exhausted no one hung around. He followed a turn on the display and tried to ignore the sadness that bloomed in his chest. 

"You will only ever be worth what you can give to people." He heard Trey's words echoing through his mind. Trey had been talking about donations at the time, practicing for a charity speech but the words had resonated in him. When his ability to give dried up people always left. 

He tried to shake the thought. He needed to focus on a design for the new suit. Still Trey's voice clawed at his mind. It made his chest feel tight and his head hurt. 

By the time Jarvis guided them off the main road and into an abandoned parking lot for lunch he was more than ready to get the helmet off. Bucky slid off his bike and stretched. He watched, his mind easily filling in that Bucky looked like beneath his clothes. He forced the image away before his jeans got uncomfortable.

"How you holding up?" Bucky asked as he pulled off his helmet. 

"So far so good." He said, stretching his tired back and wrists. Sitting on the curb they ate. He'd been so desperately ready to talk to Bucky but now that he had the chance he was content to sit shoulder to shoulder and enjoy the quiet. 

That was strange, he mused, enjoying the quiet. He'd never been one to handle silence well. His mind constantly raced and the only way to make sense of it was to get some of those thoughts out, to verbalize them so they no longer had to occupy his overfull mind.

He realized, probably far later than he should, that get had both finished eating. Bucky's eyes were closed and he looked content to remain there a bit longer. He definitely wouldn't complain.

"How much longer?" Bucky broke the silence first.

"About 4 hours. Maybe a little less." 

Bucky nodded and stood before turning and offering his hand. He reached up and grabbed the offered hand, letting Bucky help pull him to his feet. He stretched again as Bucky pulled on his helmet. "Need to stop for anything else?" He asked. "Bathroom break or anything?"

"Maybe in a bit. I'll flag you." He nodded and pulled on his own helmet.

As the world around him muffled through the helmet Trey's voice returned with vengeance. His mind seemed intent on re-hashing all of their worst fights on an unending repeat. Cold crept into his chest. His arms felt heavy. 

"Sir, I believe Mr. Barnes is attempting to gain your attention." Jarvis' voice made him jump. Looking to the side Bucky was flagging him. He waved to say he'd seen then followed as other man pulled into a gas station.

Bucky pulled up to one of the parking spots and lifted his face shield. "Tu țeseai. Ai nevoie de o pauză?"

He blinked, his mind struggling to catch up with the clear Romanian.  _ You were weaving. Do you need a break? _ Had be been?

"Nu. Scuze. Doar mă gandeam."  _ No. Sorry. I was just thinking. _

He could see Bucky's eyes trying to bore through the black out face shield. He'd coated it specifically to avoid people being able to see through it. Still those bright blue eyes might just be able to. "Să luam o pauză."

_ Let's take a break.  _ He didn't want to take a break he wanted to get to the hotel room. He shook his head firmly. 

"Anthony Sunt serios."

The use of his full name sent a shiver right down his spine.  _ Anthony I'm serious. _ Annoyed at having to stop, annoyed at his reaction and annoyed at his mind for causing it he kicked down the stand, swung off his bike and stalked off. It made sense that Bucky wouldn't call him Tony out here. Even with the language switch the world was always watching. It didn't stop him from being mad about it. 

Bucky didn't follow him around the edge of the building. He leaned back against the rough brick. Alone. No Pepper, no Rhodey, hell no Obie even if the man was a murderous asshole he'd still been there for him in the past. And soon, very soon, no Bucky either. He would be truly and utterly alone. 

His vision grew fuzzy. "Sir?" He could hear the note of fear in Jarvis' tone. He couldn't breath. His chest hurt, the reactor hurt. Was he having a heart attack?

"Tony!" A voice close to him spoke. "Tony, hey. Breathe Tony. Breathe." He felt Bucky's hand press into his stomach, could feel it practically bouncing with the tight sharp breaths he was taking. He was hyperventilating. How long had that been happening? He struggled to pull in air as his heart slammed painfully into the reactor wall. 

Bucky's chest bumped into his hands which were wrung together tightly in front of the reactor. "Breathe Tony." He repeated. The hand pressed into his stomach no longer bounced wildly with his breath. He could feel the pain on the reactor starting to ebb. "Good." Bucky murmured. The hand moved from his stomach up higher to rest next to the reactor, over his heart. "Do you want to find a place near here we can stay instead of the hotel?" Bucky offered.

He shook his head. It would throw everything off to make that kind of a change. "We are less than an hour away. Let's just get it done."

Bucky nodded, his hands running over his chest, down his arm, the movements light and comforting. "You okay to drive?"

He nodded again and pushed off the wall to move back to the bikes. He turned the corner to find several people milling about near the bikes. His heart leapt into his throat. "Hey you the guys that owns these?" One of the men asked.

"Scuze. Nu engleză." Bucky said before swinging a leg over his bike. 

He smirked.  _ Sorry no English. _ Really? He didn't speak as they backed out of the spots and took off. As of waiting for the moment he was alone Trey's voice clawed back into his mind. 

An hour later, he wasn't sure he'd ever been more happy to see a hotel in his life. While they didn't have their own cabin like at the Ritz-Carlton they did have the penthouse floor which meant finally having some privacy. He followed Bucky into the lobby. This place was more his style. Glass with white and black and wood accents. Pepper would have loved the massive chandelier. His heart clenched at that thought.

Checking in was blessedly smooth. The busboy offered to take their bags but considering it was just the two backpacks Bucky declined. For not growing up rich Bucky fit in well. 

They stepped into the elevator and Bucky hesitated. There was no button for penthouse. He smiled, though with the helmet on Bucky couldn't see that, and gently took the key card. He slipped it into a card reader above the floor keys. With a beep they began to rise. 

"You doing okay?" Bucky asked.

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He wanted the helmet off. It was as though by putting it on he'd offered Trey a direct link into his mind, a way to whisper constantly. If he could just get the helmet off the link would break and he could think again. He just had to make it to their floor. As soon as they were there he could take it off. He would be free. The door opened and he stomped into the room and wrenched the helmet off and flung it onto the couch in front of him. 

Before he could think his legs were moving, he paced to the left which lead into massive kitchen of white and stainless steel. He spun on his heel and marched back the way he'd come, past the dining room table, past the couches and a concerned looking Bucky, past the bathroom door and down into the master bedroom. No matter how much he moved the thoughts kept clawing at his mind, white and hot. Alone. Worthless. Stupid. The words flashed in time with his step, burning into his mind.

"Tony." Bucky caught his arm on his third pass through. "Tony stop." He stilled, eyes turning to meet Bucky's. "What's wrong?"

_ Tell him.  _ Trey's voice hissed in his mind.  _ Tell him how crazy you are. Then he can leave too. _

"I can't make the voices stop." He ground out before he could stop. He'd expected Bucky to let go, step back, look concerned or pitying or afraid. He'd expected a great number of things but the look of understanding that spread over Bucky's face wasn't one of them.

"Whose voice is it?"

"Trey's." He said, too surprised to think anything of it.

Bucky frowned. "Trey? Wait was that the guy? The one on the news that the police were questioning?"

A dam broke in chest. Embarrassment washed over him. Bucky knew. Of course Bucky knew. Thanks to the paparazzi everyone in the free world knew how stupid he'd been to trust someone like Trey. Would he laugh like Howard? Or just turn a polite eye and whisper as he left like the business partners did when he returned? He shrugged out of Bucky's grip and tried to walk away. "Hey." Bucky's hand was on his arm again. "Tell me how I can help Tony." 

"What?" He stared at Bucky. He must have misunderstood, must have misheard.

"Tell me how I can help." Bucky repeated, pulling him into a hug.

"I... I don't." He mumbled into Bucky's neck. "I'm not."

"Not sure?" Bucky offered. He shook his head. He knew what he normally did. Get buried in his work until he couldn't tell what day it was. But there was no work he could do. The plans he had needed executed. He did have what he needed to get Jarvis installed into Bucky's helmet but that was neither labor intensive nor time consuming. "How about we go sit on the couch and relax. If that doesn't work we can figure out something else?" He nodded then paused.

"Bed?" He could have cringed at the hope he heard in his tone. 

"Sure Tony." 

He lead them back into the master bedroom. Bucky closed the door behind them. Without thinking he stripped down to his underwear before crawling into the massive bed. Bucky followed. "Come here." The other man murmured once he was under the sheets. 

He curled into Bucky's side. The cool metal arm snaked around his back and he let his head rest over the gentle beat of Bucky's heart. "How's that?" Bucky asked after several long minutes. "Any better?" He nodded.

"I'm not a doctor, but I can tell you from experience with PTSD some days are going to be worse than others." Bucky said softly.

PTSD? He didn't have PTSD. Well, maybe after Afghanistan but the stuff with Trey? Sure Trey had smacked him around some and been an ass but even the broken arm wasn't anything to cause PTSD. That shit happened all the time in relationships. PTSD was for soldiers who saw loved ones die. It didn't fit. "I don't have PTSD. Not from Trey." He said firmly. "That. It wasn't. What happened with Trey was shitty, yeah, but PTSD is what people like you get. I don't." He stopped trying to speak.

"Tony it isn't just soldiers who get PTSD. Anyone can get it. And even if you don't want to talk about it, you have a lot of the symptoms."

"Like what?" He demanded.

"Flashbacks, nightmares, agitation, unwanted thoughts, self-destructive behavior, anxiety."

He closed his eyes as memories rolled over him. He opened his mouth to argue it was just because of Afghanistan but hell he'd had those symptoms as long as he could remember. "It's just who I am. It's not PTSD." He grumbled.

"Still, some days are worse than others." Bucky said. That he could agree to. "Best thing you can do is find things that help so that way when the bad days do come you have a plan."

He liked that idea. He knew that he normally did. Work and drink until he couldn't remember but he was definitely enjoying this too.  _ Enjoy it while you can. He will leave too. _ He shook his head. "Need to talk?" Bucky's voice rumbled under his ear.

He nodded. "Go for it. I'm listening." Bucky said softly. He launched into a detailed explanation of the suit he'd planned. He was aware he wasn't explaining well but if Bucky was concerned he didn't voice it. Instead he nodded and hummed and ran the cool metal of his fingers up and down his back. 

By the time he was done talking he felt strangely empty. "Trey was the one who broke my arm." He said softly. He realized, as the words hung in the air between them that he'd never admitted that to anyone before. Still it felt good. Good to say it out loud. "It was my fault. I confronted him when he was drunk. I knew better. I knew I should have waited but I just had to tell him. I had to get it out."

"It wasn't your fault Tony." Bucky's voice was soft. "Even if you'd held out your arm and demanded he broke it, it wasn't your fault. That's on him, not you." The words felt strangely soothing, like a balm across and angry wound.

"But I knew how he got when he was drunk." He insisted.

"Doesn't matter. He had no right to hurt you." Bucky's arm tightened around him a moment before returning to running over his back. 

Something in him gave way and before he even realized he'd started he was voicing every moment of his time with Trey. The good, the bad, and eventually the horrible. Bucky listened intently and never interrupted his long winded story. When he finally fell silent Bucky tipped his chin up. He was apprehensive to look into Bucky's eyes. Not even Rhodey had known anything about his time with Trey and now Bucky knew it all. He wasn't sure he could handle if there was judgement in the other man's eyes.

"I'm sorry that happened to you Tony. I don't expect you to believe me but what happened, that was not your fault. I'm glad you were able to make it away from him safely even if it wasn't under the best circumstances." He finally let his eyes met Bucky's. The other man smiled gently and leaned forward to press their lips together. It was slow and soft and wonderful. 

"So you think maybe the motorcycle brought this on?" Bucky asked after several long minutes of silence. He nodded. "So what can we do tomorrow to fix it?"

"I'm going to put a com in your helmet. We can talk."

"Good idea Tony." He said. Warmth filled his chest at the praise. He buried his face back into Bucky's shoulder, dropping a row of kisses down the line between metal and skin. 

"Want to get something to eat?" He offered.

Bucky nodded. "Yeah let's get some clothes on and order room service."

"Man after my own heart." He said with a laugh.

Bucky

He waited until Tony got up before following suit. His mind was practically buzzing, full to the brim with all the things Tony had said. He'd heard the stories along with the rest of the world that Tony Stark had a fling with Trey and that things had gone sour but to hear it from Tony.

He wasn't sure what was worse, that it had happened or that Tony was 100% sure he'd caused it all. Trey had not only physically abused Tony but mentally too. It definitely slotted some behaviors into place. Made him feel even more like trash for his earlier treatment of Tony too. Hopefully he could make that up to Tony somehow. 

The way Tony had spoken about Howard felt strange too. For your child to come home with a broken arm and to not say anything? The way Tony glossed over it bothered him. Like it was normal. Sure Tony had given indication that his parents had been fairly absent but that bordered on neglect if not abuse.

Still Tony seemed back to himself now. He wondered if Tony had ever  _ talked _ to anyone. Hell he'd been through months of therapy after the bomb and it was the only reason he was as functional as he was. 

Tony pulled on sweatpants and wandered back into the living room. He didn't bother with a shirt more focused on keeping an eye on the smaller man. Tony grabbed the room service menu and dropped on the couch. He sat next to him trying to ignore the floor to ceiling windows looking over the city. He wasn't a fan of heights and definitely not heights that snipers could see into. "I'm going to close the windows." He said standing quickly. Tony didn't seem concerned as he pulled the curtains across the room, careful not to look down.

When he sat down again Tony curled into his side. He wrapped his arm around Tony letting the other man hold the menu. He'd heard of less than half of the menu but Tony was happy to describe things for him. In the end, he settled on a steak. He'd had enough new today without trying out some random food too.

Once he'd called in the order and sat back on the couch Tony curled against him once more. He got the sense that Tony would be very happy to spend the rest of the night superglued to him if given the opportunity. "Hey Buck?" The words were so quiet he almost didn't catch the shortening of his already short nickname. 

"Hmm?" 

"Do you...I know I talked about a lot...are you…" Tony's voice died off. He considered pressing but chose to just wait. He watched the ticking of the clock on the far wall and waiting. It was almost 5 minutes before Tony said all in a rush "Do you think it was stupid?" Tony's voice was so small and quiet it made his chest tighten. Before he could answer Tony was on his feet. "Sorry. Nevermind. That was stupid. Please don't answer that. I'm going to go wash my face. I'll be right back." 

"Tony." He caught the man's wrist before he could dart away. "What happened with Trey, it was a bad situation but no I don't think you were stupid. Things like that it's hard to see it until you're on the other side. Like I said before, what happened wasn't your fault and I'm glad you made it out before things got worse."

Tony turned to look at him. His expression was unreadable. Then Tony's lips were in his, Tony's chest against his tight enough that the arc reactor pressed into his skin almost painfully. His arms slid around Tony's waist as the other man's tongue slipped past his lips. Tony pushed gently, guiding him back towards the couch. Tightening his arms around Tony he sat, pulling the other man down with him. Tony followed with surprising grace, straddling his lap and never breaking the kiss.

Tony lifted up onto his knees to hover over him as his tongue continued it's explanation of his mouth. Tony's hands moved to his face, cradling gently before moving down his neck to his shoulders. His hands slipped down Tony's back. His hands drifted lower.

A soft crackle of a speaker was the only warning they got before a voice announced, "Room service. May I come up?"

"Fuck." He whispered, pressing his forehead into Tony's. Tony let out a puff of breath and stood, moving to the bedroom. Standing he readjusted himself so that hopefully the poor worker wouldn't catch the fucking boner he was sporting. "Yes." He called to the intercom. Moments later the elevator door opened and a man entered pushing a cart. 

"Good evening." He said easily. "Where would you like this?"

"Anywhere is fine."

As the man placed the trays on the table he grabbed the $50 Tony had left out for a tip. "Thank you sir. Have a good evening. Let us know if we can get you anything else."

The food smelled amazing but he was having a hard time pulling his mind away from the activities just moments before. "Clear." He called a full 60 seconds after the elevator door closed. 

Tony walked out of the bedroom. Any sign of the vulnerability from before had vanished in favor of Tony's normal confident smile. "Sorry I jumped you there." He could still hear it though, just in the back of Tony's voice. He wondered how often Tony actually  _ felt _ as confident as he looked. 

"Did you hear me complaining? If so we might need to check your ears, because I definitely didn't hear complaining." 

Tony smiled and kissed his collarbone as he slipped past. "Ready to eat?" He followed Tony to the table and sat.

He watched Tony pull the dome off the lobster he'd ordered. It still felt like there was something there, just behind Tony's eyes. Or maybe it was always there and he just hadn't seen it before. "You okay?" He blinked. Tony had caught him staring. 

"Just thinking." He took a bite of the steak and before he could change his mind asked, "Have you talked to anyone before? About Trey?" 

Tony stiffened. "What? No. Why?" Tony's voice was defensive. Fuck he shouldn't have asked.

"It's just a lot to have gone through. I know after the explosion, the only thing that kept me from killing myself was therapy, and a lot of it." 

"I don't need a damn shrink. Nothing fucking wrong with me." Tony's voice rose as he spoke.

"I didn't mean there was Tony. Sometimes it just feels nice. Having someone you can share anything with and they won't fucking judge you?"

Tony seemed to at least consider that idea before speaking, "It wouldn't work."

He frowned. "Why not?"

"Press. Paparazzi. Trying to find a shrink who wouldn't flip and sell the story for the right amount of money. It's not worth it." Tony said. "Besides I'm  _ fine."  _

He nodded and let it drop. "How's the lobster?"

"Fine." Tony bit out. Yeah he'd definitely fucked up. 

"Can I ask you a question? From before the Trey stuff." He tried.

Tony looked at him warily. "Yes?"

"You are going to make a suit when we get to New York?" 

He saw a flicker of surprise pass over Tony's face. "Yes. If Obie thinks he can use my design to build something I'll build one better. Once it's done it's only a matter of time before Obie chooses somewhere public to demonstrate his and I will be there. Obie won't give up without a fight. I'm sure of that."

"Once he's gone, will you be safe?"

Tony's shoulders fell. "I'll have to clean house. Jarvis is already watching who Obie works with, corresponds to. It will all be vital information. You won't have to worry though. We will keep you out of the public eye and I'll get a lawyer from my team that I know is good. You'll be back home long before I have that exciting job. Have you heard anything from your ex?"

He shook his head. "That's not abnormal. She seems to go weeks without bothering me only to call five times in two days. I just hope your lawyer can help. If RJ really doesn't want to see me that's fine, I can learn to live with that but we were just always so close." He tapered off.

Silence filled the room as they ate, both too deep in their own thoughts to talk much. Once they had both finished Tony crossed around the table to stand in front of him. "How about we pick up where we left off?" Tony asked with a grin. He hesitated before returning the smile and standing, pressing into Tony's space. As full as his mind was he would welcome the chance to just feel for awhile.

Tony slipped his index finger into the waistband of his sweats and pulled him into the living room. Tony guided him back to the couch and pushed. He half fell half sat back where he'd been earlier. Tony dropped far too gracefully back to straddling his thighs. Tony's lips crashed down into his at the same time as Tony's hips rolled slightly. Tony swallowed the moan that slipped from his lips. When had he gotten on such a hair trigger He moved his hands to wrap around Tony's sides then slipped down to squeeze lightly on Tony's ass. 

He could feel Tony's dick twitch in response. Taking that as a positive he squeezed harder. He definitely wasn't sure if he'd ever want to fuck Tony and he was fairly confident he would never want to be fucked either. Still Tony had seemed completely flexible with whatever he wanted and after that morning he definitely wasn't opposed to finding other ways to get off. 

His hand slipped between them and with a bit of maneuvering slid down the front of Tony's pants and into his underwear. Tony purred into his lips as his hand wrapped awkwardly around the other man's cock. Tony broke the kiss long enough to sit up and pull off his pants and underwear. Tony was definitely not shy about being nude. Not that he had anything to be shy about. His eyes followed the line of Tony's hips. 

Eyes still on Tony's dick he pulled his own clothes off. As soon as he was nude Tony was back in his lap and kissing him like he'd never left. When his hand started to slip back between them Tony broke away again. "Use your other hand?" The request slipped out and then Tony's mouth was back on his. His brain struggled to keep up with the suggestion. Tony wanted him to use his metal hand? 

He slipped his other hand between them, wrapping it around Tony's dick. The moan that slipped past Tony's lips was positively filthy. He broke the kiss to look at Tony's face. Tony's eyes were almost black, and a smile teased at the corners of his lips. As he watched Tony's hips slowly began to thrust into his grip and Tony's eyes drifted shut. "So good." Tony purred as he moved.

Tony leaned forward and began to suck and nip at the juncture of his shoulder. He shivered, sensation driving straight down to pool in his stomach. "So I was thinking…" Tony murmured into his ear, his voice tapering off with each thrust of his hips. "If you'd be interested…I could suck you off?"

He knew he didn't keep the surprise off his face at the offer. His cock throbbed almost painfully at the suggestion. He nodded. "You finish first."

It was Tony's turn to look surprised. "Yes sir." He said with a wink. Shifting Tony braced himself, both hands resting on his shoulders and began to thrust harder. "Won't take long. You're so hot. Feels so good." Tony ground out as he humped. He slipped his other hand between them rubbing his palm on the head of Tony's cock. "Fuck! Don't stop. Please." And then Tony curled forward Tony's forehead resting on his shoulder as he felt warmth spread over his palm. 

Tony took several long breaths before slipping down and into the floor. Tony grabbed his boxers and wiped his hand clean. "Normally," Tony said, his hand wrapping around the base of his cock, "I like to take my time, tease a bit, but I think you're too worked up for that right now." He shuddered at the feeling of Tony's breath across the flushed head of his cock.

He managed to lift his head long enough to see Tony's tongue slip out and lap at the bead of precum on his tip before his head fell back. Tony licked slowly from the base to the tip and back before sucking one of his balls into the warmth of his mouth. He moaned, his hips jerking of their own accord as Tony continued to suck lightly as his ball. If this wasn't teasing he didn't know what was but it was too fantastic to complain. 

Tony's hand replaced his mouth, gently rolling his balls. Then Tony's lips wrapped around his cock and in one swift movement swallowed him down to the base. "Fuck! Tony fuck." He gasped. Tony's hand came to rest on his hip, preventing him from thrusting up as Tony's throat worked around him. "Shit." He panted as Tony moved up, pulled in a large breath through his nose and began to bob his head. Tony's mouth was burning hot around him. He lifted his head to look down. Tony's eyes met his and he winked before swallowing him down again. 

"Tony. Close." He managed. Tony moved up just enough to get a breath then swallowed him back down. The feeling of Tony swallowing around drove him over. Waves of pleasure rolled over him. Tony continued to lightly suck until the pleasure began to give way to pain. With an easy smile the other man crawled back into the couch and tucked into him. 

"You are  _ way _ too fucking good at that." He mumbled when he was finally confident he could speak. 

Tony laughed. "So sorry. Next time I'll try to be worse."

He snorted. "You think my metal arm is hot." He said in mock accusation.

"I think  _ all _ of you is hot."

"Uh huh fess up." He said nudging the other man. 

"Hey it is hot. I'm not denying it."

"Kinky motherfucker." He laughed.

"Oh you haven't even scratched the surface."

"Yeah? Like what?" He asked, turning so he could see Tony.

Tony's expression told him Tony definitely hadn't expected that question. "Maybe I shouldn't…"

"Tony I'm a big boy. If I'm not into it we just won't do it right?"

Tony nodded. "I like to be in charge in the bedroom." Tony said easily.

"What like BDSM stuff?"

"Similar, yes. Less of the whips and chains, more being in control." 

"I mean I have enjoyed the times you've taken over so far." He admitted before his mind caught up with his mouth.

"Oh really?" Tony purred, uncurling from under his arm to slide back over his lap. Tony's hands caught his wrists, pulling them up and holding them. While Tony's weight helped hold them the grasp was still light.

"I'm not made of glass you know."

Tony smirked. "No but I promised to let you be in charge of all this."

He paused for a moment before speaking again. "How about this, I am fine with you being in charge as long as it isn't actually  _ penetrative  _ sex. And if I decide I'm not fine I'll tell you to stop, and you will stop. Okay?"

Tony smiled his hands tightening. "Deal. If you agree to tell me if there is something you want to do that we haven't yet. I don't exactly plan on pushing new things."

He nodded. "Where did you learn to do that with your mouth? That was evil."

Tony laughed. "Practice." Tony replied before trapping both his wrists to the couch and kissing him. He would have been lying if he said the pressure didn't go straight to his belly as his cock made a half attempt at trying to firm again. Tony broke the kiss off fairly quickly and stood. "I'm going to get your helmet setup." Tony told him before wandering into the kitchen and dropping ass naked into the dining room chair. He stretched on the couch, watching as Tony pulled his backpack over and the helmet before setting to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE DELAY BORDERLANDS 3 IS RUNNING MY LIFE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Tony

He forced himself to focus as he opened his bag and dug out the required components to modify Bucky's helmet. Still his mind drifted back to the couch, to Bucky handing him the reins as he playfully held the man by his wrists. His mind was too full of ideas on how to execute this new found freedom. 

He pushed the thoughts back. Bucky was still completely inexperienced with being with another man even without the complication of adding his kinks to the mix. Still compared to things he'd seen in the past his interests were relatively tame. A little bondage, edging was fun, but mainly the control. 

He could practically hear a therapist chiding him at his attempts to control situations but he shoved that away. Sure the preference only really came up after Trey but that didn't mean they had to be related. He'd just gotten more adventurous with his porn searches as he got older.

He could feel Bucky's eyes on him, watching him work. It was strange. No one ever just watched him work. They always wanted something. To learn how to make it for their own profit or for him to make them one too. Still Bucky hadn't asked for the comm he had offered it, and the other man wasn't close enough to be seeing what he was doing. It made him feel noticed, which probably should be a good thing but instead he became keenly more aware of his limbs, the fact he was still not in great shape. He wasn't anything to look at in his current state yet Bucky's eyes bore into him.

He was wrapping up already. Less than twenty minutes and he'd been going slow to give his mind time to work. "Hey Tony, can I ask you something? If you don't want to answer it's no big deal." Well that was a fucking mood killer.

"Yeah?"

"This morning you said you had a theory about why the shrapnel didn't kill you?"

Fuck he  _ had _ said that outloud. He thought about playing it off. Bucky probably wouldn't even know but still, talking about Trey had been nice. Maybe voicing Howard's fucking parenting would be too. "Let's talk about that tomorrow. Once piece of Tony's miserable life at a time. Okay?"

Bucky nodded. "Didn't know it was part of that. Sorry."

He waved him off. "I mentioned it. No big deal."

"So…" Bucky trailed off and for a moment he thought the other man was pressing for information but the expression on Bucky's face made him pause.

"So?" He prompted.

"Where are you sleeping tonight?" Bucky asked. Was he blushing. That was too fucking cute. Jesus he'd already completely short circuited his brain with that fucking arm earlier he wasn't allowed to be so cute now.

He moved to stand in front of the couch. Bucky rolled, meeting his eyes. "Where do you  _ want _ me to sleep?" He asked. The look on Bucky's face gave him the answer far before those perfect lips moved.

"I just thought, I mean know I've slept better lately and since we are driving all day tomorr—."

"Just answer. You don't have to explain yourself." He said, letting his voice slide easily into a commanding tone.

Bucky's mouth closed, the muscle in his jaw jumped. "Together?" The man said tentatively. 

God and he looked so nervous and unsure. How was he going to survive the next few weeks?  _ How will you survive when he's gone? _ He shoved the voice away and purred "Good."

He could see Bucky relax under the praise. "Are you ready for bed now or do you want to stay up?" He asked, keeping the calm firmness to his voice.

Bucky looked passed him to the large contemporary clock. "It's already getting pretty late and…" Bucky tapered off as he rose an eyebrow. "Now?" He tried.

"Good." He said again as he offered his hand. Bucky smiled easily, allowing himself be pulled to his feet. He grabbed up his discarded clothes and watched Bucky do the same before crossing to the bedroom. It felt strange being back in the master bedroom, as if the words he'd spoken earlier still hung like a fog in the room. He was sure he would someday regret being so open with Bucky. He pushed that thought away. 

Without bothering with clothes he climbed into bed, pulling the sheets over himself. It felt like heaven. He could see Bucky hesitate in the dark before following suit. Bucky folded around him, the metal arm wrapping around him. Unlike before Bucky pulled him back, until his back pressed against Bucky's chest. The warmth of the other man's skin made the cool of the metal of the arm feel even more pronounced. As he lay still he felt the arm slowly warming. Bucky's fingers absently rubbed his stomach as Bucky's breathing grew heavier. Slowly he too drifted off to sleep.

Bucky

His eyes flickered open. Next to him Tony let out a soft whimper. He blinked. The smaller man was balled up again his ribs. Another quiet whine slipped through Tony's lips.

"Tony." He whispered. "Tony you're having a nightmare." Tony stirred then rolled into his back. He waited for Tony's eyes to open but after several moments it was obvious the other man had fallen back asleep. 

Keeping his arm across Tony's middle he rolled to look at the clock on the nightstand. 6:06. No point in trying to go back to sleep then. He looked back over at Tony. Light was slipping around the edges of the curtain. Combined with the soft glow of the reactor, he could clearly see Tony's face. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, nothing like how he did when he was awake.

Resting his head back on his pillow he thought to last night, just giving Tony control over the sexual things they did. He definitely wasn't straight. He'd given up on that lie. Not gay either. He couldn't imagine doing the stuff he was doing with Tony with any other guy. Tony really was something special. 

He wouldn't have Tony much longer he realized with a sinking feeling in his chest. In a few days or weeks Tony wouldn't need him anymore. He'd go back home hopefully to RJ and his house and be alone. He was very vividly aware that was not how he wanted things to go. 

Still Tony had never promised anything like a future together. In fact Tony had been quite clear he didn't do dating after Trey. And fuck what a number Trey had done. The sheer level of mental and then physical abuse and apparently there was more to talk about tonight. He closed his eyes and pulled Tony close, wrapping around him. 

Tony hummed softly, he could feel the flicker of eyelashes on his chest. "Mornin." Tony mumbled. 

"Hey Tony." He whispered. 

Tony yawned and curled against him. "'s to early. Go back to sleep." Tony grumbled.

"We need to be up in less than an hour. No point."

Tony groaned. Slowly the other man braced a hand on his shoulder and pushed himself up. "Too late to go back to sleep. Too early to get up. What should we do?" Tony flashed him a grin that was far too devious for someone who just woke up.

Tony's head dropped until his lips hovered less than an inch over his. "Hands above your head." Tony whispered, his warm breath ghosting over his lips. "Keep them there if you want to finish." Tony purred before Tony's lips crashed into his. Almost immediately he had to stop himself instinctively reaching to wrap around Tony. He could feel Tony's lips curl up as he caught the movement and correction.

"If I do something you don't like, tell me. Otherwise I expect you to lay here and enjoy. Fair enough?"

"Yeah." He said nodding at Tony began to kiss and bite a line down his jaw. Each one sent a spark of electricity shooting down to pool behind his cock which was rapidly taking interest in the attention. 

"How do you feel about marks?" Tony asked, lavishing attention on the crook of his shoulder.

"Marks how?" He'd heard enough about BDSM he and the last thing he wanted was whip marks or something. 

"Bites? Hickies?" Tony answered before moving to nibble at his ear lobe. He let a soft moan slip through his lips.

"Fine. Both fine. No where visible."

"That's fair. I don't like them visible either." Tony commented before biting down on his shoulder. His hips arched up off the bed as a soft whine slipped through his open lips. Tony's tongue lapped at the skin as he bit, reminding him all too vividly of Tony's tongue the night before. 

Tony released his shoulder with a soft pop before leaning back to examine the spot. Dropping a quick kiss on the skin he smiled. "You might actually bruise easier than me." Tony commented with a smirk. He could only imagine the spot was already turning colors. 

Tony scooted down enough to latch onto his nipple, licking first then nibbling. "Fuck Tony." He whispered his back arching up into the touch. Tony's hand pressed firmly on his stomach, forcing him back down into the bed. Then Tony's hand returned to gently pinch and roll his other nipple, in time with Tony's tongue. "Fuck." He hissed again. 

Tony kissed down his chest, nipping next to his bellybutton. "Someone has been enjoying." Tony purred. He lifted his head enough to see his cock which had leaked a small pool of precum onto his stomach. He let his head drop back into the bed. "Have you ever tried edging? Seen it? Heard of it?" 

Tony's hands ghosted from his hips down closer and closer only to stop short of actually touching him. Tony pinched his thigh. It didn't hurt. He forced himself to focus. "Seen in porn. Never tried it." He also left out it had been a woman he'd seen not a man but surely Tony knew that already.

"Think you'd be up to giving it a try? Nothing long, not your first time." Tony's nails scratched lightly down his thighs then slowly back up his hips, still ignoring his leaking cock. 

He nodded.

"Just tell me when you get close." Tony answered before a hand finally wrapped around him. A shiver ran down his spine as he arched into the touch. Tony's other hand pressed him back down into the sheets. It took Tony all of about three tries to get the twist of his wrist just right. Fuck it wouldn't take long. His hands knotted in his hair as he struggled not to reach down.

How close was he supposed to be? He could feel the pressure building fast. He opened his mouth to speak and Tony's hand was gone. His hips thrust weakly into the air trying to find any friction. "Breathe." Tony purred. He shivered again. Tony's hand tightened at the base of his dick and the pressure slowly lessened. "Once," Tony spoke, his hands started moving again, "I kept someone right here all day. Right on the edge." 

"Tony." He whimpered and Tony's hand dropped away again.

"So good." He moaned softly at Tony's words. "What do you think Buck? One more? Two? How long till it starts to drive you crazy?"

He tried to speak but the words died as Tony's hand returned. This time it was only a few tugs before Tony's hand was gone again. Only Tony's hand on his hip kept him from thrusting into the air. He needed something. Some kind of touch. "Please." He whimpered. 

"One more." Tony whispered. "Doing so good." 

Tony's hand barely ghosted over his cock but it was still enough to make him squirm then the contract was gone. Tony's hand tightened lightly around his base, drawing the pressure back once more. Then in one sudden move Tony's lips wrapped around him and swallowed him in. 

His vision went white as his body drew taut. He opened his mouth to speak, tell him but then Tony swallowed again and he was coming in great overpowering waves of sensation.

He wasn't sure how long he lay there after. Time seemed to completely slip away. His chest heaved as he struggled to catch his breath. "Jesus fucking Christ Tony" he panted. Tony laughed from somewhere near his shoulder. When had he moved?

"Worth the wait?" Tony purred.

"Yes. So worth it." He managed. He felt completely boneless. Something warm ran over his chest and he jumped. Tony had a washcloth. He let his eyes close as the other man gently cleaned him.

Tony curled against his side. He could easily drift back to sleep. Tony shifted and he felt the man's dick drag against his leg still hard. He slipped the metal hand between them to wrap around Tony. "Shit Bucky." Tony moaned, thrusting into his grasp. For a moment he considered staying like that, boneless and still and letting Tony take care of himself. 

Still that didn't feel even remotely fair. He pushed Tony's shoulder, rolling the other man into his back. Letting his metal arm hold his weight, he reached out with his other hand and began to stroke Tony. Was he doing it right? If the constant babble of sound pouring from Tony's lips was any indication he was. Still... "Show me what you like?" He asked softly, letting his hand fall away. If this was going to be something they did regularly he wanted to figure it out.

Tony's hand replaced his easily. Tony's grip was definitely tighter. Still he hadn't wanted to do anything painful. Tony's hand slid down, pulling back the foreskin. Before he could think too hard on it he swiped a thumb over the slit spreading the bead of precum. 

Tony's hand grabbed his and guided it back around him. That demonstration had not been helpful. He huffed but allowed himself to be guided back. "Tighter." Tony encouraged. He followed the instructions. "All the way down and all the way back up." Tony continued. Realizing he began to move slowly. As he moved down the foreskin pulled back.

"Doesn't that hurt?" He asked softly. 

Tony's head shook as his hips lifted off the bed, chasing the sensation. Slowly he picked up speed. Tony's hand moved up to his chest to pinch at his nipple.

He moved his other hand, swatting Tony's away and letting the cool of the metal rub back and forth across Tony's nipple. "Bucky. Fuck. Fuck. Close." Tony ground out. He dropped both hands quickly before his brain even registered why he'd stopped. Tony let out a keening whine, his whole body shuttering. "You… are… evil." Tony panted.

He hadn't meant to stop, hadn't planned on it. In fact he was pretty sure it was Tony's fault for doing the same to him earlier. His brain had connected close with stopping and just ran with the idea. But the smile pulling up the edges of Tony's lips made it worth it. "Only fair right?" He asked, leaning forward to kiss Tony. Tony surged into the kiss, soft needy sounds filling his mouth as quickly as Tony's tongue. He reached blindly his hand finding Tony's cock once more. 

Tony's head dropped back into the bed as his hips lifted off the bed once more. He moved back to watch his hand. Some part of his mind still reminded him this shouldn't be something he enjoyed. Another, much louder part was curious. 

He leaned down and licked from the base to the tip in one long stripe. Tony came with a groan, coating his chest and stomach. He continued to stroke until the pulses ended. "Holy shit." Tony finally murmured. He couldn't help but feel pleased. He grabbed the washcloth Tony had used earlier. It was ice cold. He stood, crossing to the bathroom and ran it under the taps until it was warm. Wringing it out he returned to the bedroom. Tony held out his hand for the cloth but he pushed it away. Tony had cleaned him up. He could deal with doing the same. 

Tony hummed happily as he wiped him off. This part he was definitely less fond of. As his pulse came back down uncertainty filled his chest. He crossed to the bathroom tossed the washcloth on the floor and stared at himself in the mirror. It was stupid. He enjoyed what they were doing. Tony definitely did so why did he feel so off? 

"Buck? You okay?" Tony's voice, still warm and heavy slipped through the open door. 

"Yeah." He said. It wasn't totally a lie. He returned to the bedroom. Tony had pulled the covers over himself but otherwise hadn't moved.

"What's on your mind?" Tony asked as he pulled back the covers on his side of the bed.

He was fully prepared to tell Tony he was fine and to let it drop but Tony had been heartbreakingly honest earlier. Surely he could trust him with this. "Just always feels... weird after…" He closed his eyes.  _ Positively fucking Shakespearean _ , he opened his mouth to try again but Tony was speaking.

"I understand." He blinked.

"You do?"

"Of course." Tony pulled him in gently until he was tucked into the other man's chest. It was strange considering Tony was smaller but as he rested his head in Tony's shoulder he had no trouble getting comfortable. The tip of his nose just barely brushed the side of the reactor as Tony shifted. The scent it metal mixed so perfectly with the smell that was unmistakably Tony. "It's always a little strange doing anything like this since it was basically just Jess."

He didn't like hearing Jess' name on Tony's lips. He also wasn't exactly interested in talking about her right now. He shrugged, hoping that would be enough.

"Is there anything you didn't like?" Tony prompted. 

He shook his head.

"Is it something you'd like to do again?" Tony's voice was quiet, almost a whisper. He could feel his ears go red but he nodded all the same.

Tony pressed a kiss into his hair. It felt strangely intimate, which he realized after the thought had slipped through his mind, was stupid considering he'd just fucking licked Tony's dick. That far more intimate than a kiss on the head. 

Tony fell silent. The lull in conversation was enough to make his eyes feel heavy. He rolled, getting comfortable, and pulling Tony to his chest. "Night." Tony murmured into his chest.

"Night Tony."

His eyes slid open lazily. No alarm yet. He started to stretch but came up short. Tony was laying pressed tight against him. The reactor pressed heavily into his ribs.

He sat up just enough to see the clock over Tony's shoulder. He was thirty minutes early. He dropped back down. Tony's fingers moved lightly in his sleep. His eyes searched Tony's face. He closed his eyes, running back over everything Tony had admitted about Trey. Most of it he knew was not in the news. In fact the news had painted an entirely different picture.

He couldn't imagine going through everything Tony had and coming out the other side even vaguely functional. And yet not only had he survived he just kept going. He was so smart and kind. He really was just an amazing person.

Tony's eyelids flickered then opened. Tony blinked blearily at him then burrowed back into his side. He reached over and gently ran his fingers through Tony's hair. The other man let out a long, heavy sigh. He gently scratched at Tony's scalp.

"What horrible and ungodly hour is it?" Tony asked.

"7:03"

"Damn it Barnes you're ruining me. First going to bed early now waking up before noon. I can't come back this functional human. No one will believe it's really me."

He laughed. "Poor Tony Stark. Replaced by some Terminator imposter who has a regular sleep schedule."

"See?! The gossip rags will be filled." Tony sat stretching.

Tony's laughter joined his. 

They showed and dressed. They ordered enough breakfast to have some for lunch. While the room was nice he was more than happy to have his feet back on solid ground. Checkout and getting the bikes back from the valet went smoothly. 

As he pulled on his helmet he heard Tony's voice in his left ear, "Testing."

"I hear you." He said easily. 

"Good."

Tony chattered constantly as they rode, but considering how bad things seemed to have gotten yesterday he was more than happy for the stream of noise. 

About three hours in Tony's explanation about replacing the traditional generator with a reactor was cut short by Jarvis' voice. "Sir, it may be nothing but it appears you may be being followed."

His heart leapt into his chest. "Who is it J?" He heard Tony ask.

"Unknown sir. It is only one vehicle. I would advise a split." 

"Okay. Next exit I'll get off. You keep going." Tony instructed. 

"Okay." Tony sounded so calm. His heart hammered in his chest. If they had guns splitting up wouldn't matter. They could just kill them both. Or kill him and capture Tony. After all, he wasn't worth anything alive. 

The next exit was getting closer. 2 miles. 1 mile. Half a mile. He watched as Tony pulled off. An SUV followed, tight on his tail. "Tony I think they are still on you. How would they know? I thought we couldn't be tracked." 

"We may not be. We were on a highway. May just be their exit. I'm going to check something." Tony's voice sounded tense.

Silence filled the next few minutes then, "Definitely being followed. Keep going. I'll catch up."

He listened intently as Tony and Jarvis spoke to each other but without being able to see anything he had no way of understanding what was happening. His eyes tracked the cars around him, dropping his speed low enough that cars began to fly past. No one stayed behind him longer than a few seconds. His eyes searched the lanes for anyone that might be trying to pace him but it seemed they were only after Tony. 

"Bucky?" His heart leaped. Had Tony been cornered? Caught? "Lost them. Catching back up."

"Okay. I'm going slow. Hurry." He said his eyes glued to his mirror. 

Even going as slow as he was it was more than an hour before he spotted Tony's black bike in his side mirror. "How could they know?" He asked again as Tony pulled alongside him. 

"I'm going to hope luck." Tony answered. "Because the only other option throws a big wrench into our plans but also wouldn't make sense."

"What other option?"

"That they have put something in me that makes me trackable. But if that was the case, why wait until now to come after me?" 

He was relieved when Tony pulled off for the hotel several hours later. He hesitated before handing the keys to the valet. What if they needed to get away? His eyes scanned the lobby, half expecting men clothed all in black to come pouring out at any moment. Still check-in was smooth. This elevator too had a key card slot for the penthouse floor. 

He dropped his bag on the couch. This room was big, far bigger than yesterday but he couldn't bring himself to take it in. As soon as his helmet was off he folded Tony into a hug. "Are you sure they didn't follow us?" He asked softly. 

"J is keeping watch." Tony answered, voice muffled by his shirt.

"Shouldn't we get out the laptop, then? How will we know?"

"J has an alarm in my helmet he can sound. It's okay Bucky. We are safe."

"You're sure you lost them?" He pressed. 

Tony nodded.

He let Tony go and dropped heavily into the couch, running his hands over his face. Finally he let his eyes glance over the room. The living room seemed to wrap clear around the elevator. From his spot on the couch he could see the kitchen had a fully stocked wine rack as well as fridge and stove top. 

"This place is huge." He said some of the tightness in chest relaxing as he stood to explore.

"The last place was only half a floor. This is a full level." Tony spoke from the table where he'd sat and was working with the helmet.

He walked around the elevator. The back side had a massive fireplace with a switch to turn the fire off and on. Down the hall he found three large bedrooms, an office, and two huge bathrooms. It was definitely larger than his whole house. 

By the time he returned to the living room Tony was done with the helmet and now stood looking out one of the floor to ceiling windows. "Do all penthouse suites have to have windows like that?"

"Not a fan?" Tony asked without turning.

"I prefer my feet solidly on the ground thanks." 

Tony snorted. "You know most people would kill for this view."

His stomach growled loudly, cutting off any further argument. "We didn't have any lunch did we?" 

"Nope. And I'm starving. Want to get some food heading up?" He nodded, wandering into the kitchen to find the menu.

"It's clear!" He called thirty minutes later after the elevator doors closed on a very pretty, if not a little too friendly, hotel staff member. Grabbing his plate he carried it to the back of the elevator, flipped on the fireplace, and dropped to the couch that sat facing it. The setting sun shone through the windows covering everything in bright lights and dark shadows. 

Tony padded out of the hall and grabbed his own food before wandering over to drop next to him. Their shoulders bumped as Tony settled in. "I still can't believe they found you." He said. 

"We still don't know if they did. J has been scanning constantly. If anyone sounded the alarm at SI we would know by now. They may have been after my bike more than me."

Maybe that was it. "I guess. I mean how could they have known it was you? That helmet is black out and the reactor doesn't show through when you had both shirts on." He glanced over at Tony. "How did you get away?" 

"Found an alley thin enough my bike would fit and the van wouldn't then floored it."

"I'm glad you were able to get away." He said, resolutely ignoring how much he truly meant it. 

They ate in silence as the sun slowly set, casting darkness around them. He watched the fire dance. They hadn't bothered to turn on any lights before and now only the flickering fire lit the massive room. Tony stretched out, leaning against his ribs. In the quiet he could hear Tony tapping a rhythm into the glass of the reactor. "So," Tony said finally breaking the quiet, "I told you I would tell you my theory for how I have managed to dance with death far more often than I should have."

He'd completely forgotten about Tony's promise to explain. He considered telling Tony not to worry about it. Somehow it being planned, rather than spontaneous like the things Tony had told him about Trey, seemed to be making it harder on Tony to start.

He opened his mouth to tell Tony not to worry when Tony began to speak. "You know that Howard worked on Operation: Rebirth? The program that created Captain America?"

"Yeah of course. We learned about it in school" He could remember reading about it in school right along with the Howling Commandos and the fall of Hydra.

Tony nodded. "What they leave out of the history books was what happened after he died. Howard was very close to Rogers. When that plane went down something broke in him. He spent millions trying to find the plane, first to try to save Rogers then just to give him a proper burial. I still remember him packing up time and time again to go to the Arctic and try to dredge up that plane."

"How could you remember? That had to have been decades before you were born."

Tony's head shook. "It never stopped. He told me that his work in rebirth was the only thing he'd ever done to bring good into the world." The words sounded tight, almost bitter but when Tony spoke again it was gone. "I don't know how much you know about the actual process that went into the operation." Tony paused and he shook his head. "It involved the use of a serum. A scientist named Erskine took the formula with him to the grave. Howard spent years using Roger's blood to reverse engineer the formula. Once injected the person was then subjected to Vita-Radiation which would stabilize the serum and cause it to bond right down to the DNA. It acted like a protecting shield that would prevent aging, boost healing, it goes on and on."

He nodded. While rebirth had always fascinated him how did this fit in with what Tony was going to tell him? Or had Tony gotten distracted?

It was several long minutes before Tony began to speak again. "Growing up, Howard always insisted on doing all my vaccines, all my check ups. When I asked Mom she told me Howard just didn't like doctors. And that made sense. Howard would never go to the doctor. Once he was laid up with a flu so bad he couldn't get out of bed for weeks and he still wouldn't let a doctor come. I didn't really question it until I was ten. I had just learned to lock pick and wanted somewhere to practice. Howard's file storage seemed perfect. After I let myself in, I found a big file about me, one of the biggest in the room. A lot was missing but it referenced both the serum and Vita-Rays and its effects on my development." Tony shifted. 

"So, you're saying Howard injected you with an experimental serum?" His stomach churned. He couldn't even imagine. What kind of parent would  _ experiment _ on their child. Tony had to be wrong.

"Maybe! There were no records of me every being injected. Maybe Howard had injected himself and suspected it bonded with his DNA which was then passed to me. I don't doubt he was exposed to a high amount of Vita-Radiation over his work on rebirth. Howard did make more of the serum, he had managed to reverse engineer it."

"Did you ask him?"

Tony snorted. "Asked? More like confronted. He beat the shit out of me for breaking into his files. I told Mom about what I found. She probably gave him hell but no, I never found out more."

His stomach somehow managed to drop further. "He beat you?"

Tony stilled and a look of surprise flashed in his face then disappeared. Tony shrugged. "Not like it was the first time. Or the last." He said his voice trying and failing to sound indifferent. 

"I never knew that. I'm sorry that happened."

Tony sat up, then stood to pace. "It's not a big deal. It's just something that happens. I learned to stay out of his way. Then I got to boarding school, then college and I didn't see him as much." He watched Tony's shadow grow and shrink as he passed back and forth in front of the flickering flame. It made sense, sure. A lot of the things he'd chalked up to Trey's influence could have been Howard too. Had Tony had any relationships that hadn't fucking abusive? "And your Mom? Was she--?"

"No!" The reply was sharp."No. Mom… She never wanted kids. But she grew up Catholic and. Anyway, no she loved me as best she could. Howard never hurt her, not that I know about." Tony continued more calmly.

"But she didn't stop him hurting you?"

"She…Howard was just under a lot of pressure. He didn't ever mean to hurt me. When he got drunk he'd just lose control. And he was depressed so he drank a lot." Tony had stopped pacing. His eyes watched out over the city. "And I had Edwin, Ana. I wasn't alone." Tony finished defensively.

"Tony you know that's complete bullshit right?" He asked quietly. 

Tony didn't answer or even acknowledge him. He waited, watching Tony's hands wring together. Tony's whole body looked taut like he might simply combust at any moment. Tony's hands dropped to his sides. "I'm not lying." Tony's voice was barely audible over the pop of the fire.

"Tony, wh--"

"I'm not lying!" Tony was shouting, his voice ringing in the silence that had previously filled the room. Tony's shoulders shook as he glared at him, his hands balled into fists and body rigid.

He stood and crossed to where Tony stood. "I don't think you're lying, Tony." He said, focusing on keeping his own voice calm. 

"He was--" Tony stopped mid sentence, eyes jumping to his. "You said it was bullshit!" Tony snapped.

He reached it to touch Tony's arm but the man jerked back. He let his hands fall. "I meant that crap you said about how he didn't mean it and he was stressed.  _ That _ is bullshit. If he truly didn't mean to, it wouldn't have happened." Tony was silent so he continued. "I believe you Tony.

Tony was still, eyes still consecrated on his face. "She said his father hit him. He didn't know any different." Tony's voice was back to quiet. 

"Tony that's bullshit. You know that. Sons aren't their fathers. Fuck if I did like my Dad I'd have run off as soon as Jess got knocked up. Instead I'm traveling halfway around the country in the hopes of getting RJ back. Your dad was just an asshole Tony and your Mom enabled him. You got stuck in the middle. That's not fair to you but it's not your fault either."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE DELAY BORDERLANDS 3 IS RUNNING MY LIFE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

####  Tony

His heart pounded in his ears as he stared at Bucky. Bucky  _ believed _ him? How many decades had he wanted to hear that someone didn't think he was lying. Growing up it was just a given. Everyone in the house knew and they were the only people he ever engaged with.

When he's started boarding school he'd been free. When holidays had started to roll around he'd gone to the school counselor and tried to tell her the truth so he wouldn't have to go home. He sat in her office for hours, detailing every bit of what Howard did to him, all the pain and fear. And finally when he finished, laid bare everything that had happened she set down her notebook and leaned in close. "Why would you make up these lies about your father Anthony?" Her voice had been sharp. He could still remember exactly how it felt when his world crashed down around him. She'd scolded him, made him sit in the office while she called Howard and told him word for word what he'd said. 

It was the first time he'd run away from school and the fourth time he'd been kidnapped. It had taken three months to get away. When he'd made it back to school, after the police interviews, after the nurse patched him up the was put on a bus home. He'd begged them to let him stay at school but in the end he'd arrived home to Howard's fists. Howard had warned him never to talk about it again and he hadn't. Not to Rhodey or Pepper or Happy or even Obie. 

He hadn't planned to tell Bucky either but it had slipped out.  _ I believe you Tony. _ He tried to swallow around the growing lump in his throat. Bucky was waiting for him to speak. He needed to say something. But he couldn't. He knew he couldn't. Taking as steadying a breath as he could he stepped back. He would go to the bathroom, collect himself. Stark men didn't cry. 

Cool metal tightened around his wrist and he froze. "Tony is okay." Bucky's voice was quiet. Bucky stepped forward pulling him into a hug. The razor thin control he had left snapped and a sob slipped him his lips before he could stop it. Shame and embarrassment and frustration flowed through the tears as he crumpled forward. 

Bucky lowered them slowly till that sat on the floor in front of the fire. He buried his face in Bucky's shoulder, only distantly aware that his hands now clung to the fabric of Bucky's shirt as if it were the last solid thing on Earth. He had no idea how long they sat there, tears streaming down his face. Sometimes he'd hear the low rumble of Bucky's voice but he couldn't tell what the other man was saying. His face and hands felt numb. His skull felt full of radio static. Finally slowly he simply ran out of tears. He remained tucked tightly to Bucky's chest, hiccuping and sniffing.

He waited, expected some snide comment, some jab in his behalf but Bucky remained quiet. He felt drained, completely emptied out. He closed his eyes, happy to remain there in the floor in the quiet as long as possible.

But of course it couldn't last. "Think you can make it to the couch?" Bucky's voice yanked him up from his half sleep. 

No. He didn't want to move. What if staying still was the only thing keeping everything together? What if moving caused everything to shatter? Still he nodded. Bucky stood first, offered his hand. He took it letting the metal cool his palm as he allowed himself to be drug up to his feet. The world spun dangerously and the half fell into Bucky's chest. The man caught him easily, settling him back on his feet. "Maybe bed would be better?"

He nodded. Bucky stepped back cautiously, watching to make sure he didn't fall again before crossing to turn off the fireplace. The room was cast into darkness, the lights from the city enough to safely navigate through the room, and into the hall. He followed behind Bucky and into the bedroom without question.

He stripped and climbed into bed. He should feel ashamed, embarrassed but the static seemed to leave no space for feeling. Bucky pulled him close. "I'm sorry that happened to you Tony." Bucky's lips brushed his ear sending a soft flicker of pleasure through him even as the words soothed the pain in his chest. "And I'm sorry I didn't make it clear right away that I believed you."

How was he even supposed to answer that? Everything felt heavy. His throat hurt. His head hurt. "Sorry I kind of freaked out." He managed, hoping it sounded lighthearted but knowing it probably failed. 

Bucky pressed a kiss into the back of his head. "Get some rest. Tomorrow will feel easier.

He nodded. His eyes closed, he took a deep breath, and…nothing. Sleep wouldn't come. Under the pain he could feel his mind turning. No. No. Not now. He was so tired. He just wanted to sleep. His fingers itched. He was keenly aware of the pulse in his ears. He needed to  _ move _ . Still Bucky was already drifting off behind him and moving would disrupt him.

He flexed his fingers and toes and tried to empty his mind. Damn it. He needed to get up. He needed to work on something. His mind fought violently against the exhaustion. Every second he lay still he felt more awake. He had to get out from under the weight of the metal arm and go do  _ something.  _ He shifted slightly. Maybe the sensors wouldn't be enough to wake him up. He shifted a little further. The arm tightened around him. "Tony?"

_ Fuck _ . "Sorry. Couldn't sleep. I was going to go walk around for awhile." 

Bucky's arm tightened around him further. "Roll on your back." The man prompted. 

"Bucky I'm fine. Go back to sleep." He said, still following the other man's words. Bucky, who barely looked awake, shifted so he was supported in his elbow. 

"Close your eyes and relax." Bucky's voice was warm in the quiet.

A sudden wave of apprehension rolled over him as he let his eyes close. He jumped at the coolness of the metal as it touched his cheek, feather light. Slowly Bucky's fingers drifted over his cheek, across his chin and back up his cheek. "Bucky, wha--"

"Shh. Just relax." The cool metal slowly ran up to his forehead, down his nose, over his lips. The gentle, almost tenderness felt foreign but definitely not unpleasant. Bucky's fingers buried in his hair, gently rubbing at his scalp. He couldn't have stopped the rumbling sigh from slipping from his lips if he wanted to. "Roll on your side, get comfortable like you're going to sleep."

He followed the instructions. He felt Bucky roll next to him, settling in, then the ghostly soft touch of the metal return. Slowly Bucky's fingers ran over his back. He tried to make sense of the patterns but they were random. His mind tried again and again to get purchase to spin up but each time the gentle contact seemed to push it away.

Distantly he felt his eyelids getting heavier. The overwhelming exhaustion washed over him. The last thing he felt was the weight of the arm wrapping around him as the darkness washed over him.

His pillow was moving. It was entirely too early for his pillow to be moving. He wrapped an arm around the broad chest he slept on. Fingers carded through his hair and he groaned. "Come on Tony." 

Bucky. Shit. The memories of last night rushed in, forcing out any remaining drowsiness. Fuck why had he said that? And yelled? And fucking cried.  _ Damn it _ . He pushed up, not even remotely ready to face whatever expression Bucky would have after last night. Pity? Disgust? He couldn't deal with it yet. He needed coffee, Preferably an Irish coffee, heavy on the Irish.

Cool metal caught his wrist, pulled him back. Fuck. "Tony. Hey." Why the fuck did he have to sound so understanding? "You're okay. Just time to wake up. We don't have to get up yet. Did you sleep okay?"

"Fine." He said. His voice still felt tight and scratchy. 

"Good. I wasn't sure if you'd stay asleep. Honestly I was just glad I was able to help you get to sleep."

"Can we not? Can we not do this?"

"This?"

"This dancing around a subject?"

"Tony what are you talking about?" To Bucky's credit he at least sounded confused.

"Me?  _ Freaking out _ last night? Yelling? Cr… I don't want to just dance around it." He finished lamely. He couldn't bring himself to say crying out loud, as if somehow by not voicing it it might not have happened.

Bucky was quiet long enough he regretted saying anything. Finally the other man spoke. "I didn't think there was more to say. Is there more you wanted to tell me?"

"I think I already said enough." He snapped. Why was Bucky being difficult? Why wouldn't he just say what he wanted to say so they could move on.

"I said everything I wanted to last night. I'm good."

The bubble of frustration that had been filling in his chest popped and a wave of frustration rolled over him. "What the fuck do you mean you're good?!" Was he fucking playing with him?. He pushed up to look into those illegally blue eyes. "I fucking bawled like a baby. I freaked out and yelled at you over nothing. I…" he tapered off. The head of steam he'd been building petering out into exhaustion.

"It wasn't over nothing Tony. It was a miscommunication but you had every right to feel angry. But we fixed that. And yeah you cried but with everything you went through both in your past and hell over the last few weeks I think you earned that to. I don't know what else you want me to say."

He stared into the blue eyes waiting for something to indicate Bucky was lying but nothing came. Instead Bucky hand slipped behind his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. He surged into the contact, relieved for the distraction. Bucky's tongue slipped past his lips and he moaned into the kiss. Bucky had slid down the slope from 100% straight to willing to experiment in record time and he was all for supporting every second of it. 

Bucky pulled in his arm, dragging him until he lay on top. His hips ground forward enjoying the friction as his cock began to take an interest in the situation. Bucky was already hard enough to pound nails which either meant this was planned or he was sporting some intense morning wood. Either way he'd take it. He wrapped a hand around them both as best he could from the current angle. 

Bucky moaned into his mouth. The metal hand snaked up and fisted in his hair, pulling him back. The tiniest whispers of pain shot straight down to his balls which were already aching slightly. "Want your mouth." Buck's voice was already growing husky.

"You think so huh?" He said, a smirk on his face. When the metal hand released his hair he kissed and nipped a line down Bucky's jaw. He stopped to suck lightly at the base of his jaw. Licking his way lower he latched onto Bucky's shoulder. Biting hard enough to make the other man arch, their cocks dragging together at the movement, before soothing the pain with his tongue. 

He eased lower, forcing his back to arch so he didn't have to relinquish the drag of Bucky's cock against his just yet. He licked the flat of his tongue over Buck's nipple, purring as it pebbled under the attention. Bucky moaned, pressing up into the touch. He leaned in and wrapped his lips around the nipple, sucking before gently catching it between his teeth. Bucky was squirming under him. He switched sides, turning his attention to the other nipple and gave it the same treatment. 

Finally he shifted, sliding into the bed next to Bucky and sucked a line of faint bruises across Bucky's chest and down to his ribs. "Fuck Tony. Please." Bucky's hips thrust up searching for some friction.

He pulled off Bucky's ribs with a pop. "Please what?" He asked, unable to stop the grin spreading on his lips.

"Suck me." Bucky whined. 

"I am." He said, latching onto the spot and then pulling off with a loud pop to emphasize the point. 

"Tony. You know what I mean." Bucky ground. He considered letting it go there but he couldn't quite stop himself.

"Do I?"

"Tony." Bucky groaned. He smirked and moved lower, dropping a line of kisses down Bucky's hip then past his staining cock and down Bucky's thigh.

"Damn it Tony--" 

He leaned over and sucked one of Bucky's balls into his mouth. The rest of Bucky's words tapered off into a soft whimper. His tongue darted over the wrinkled skin as he sucked softly. He could feel a shiver run over Bucky's body and he smirked. 

He let the ball slip free and gently wrapped his hand around them, squeezing gently as he lapped up the length of Bucky's cock. He was always worse at blowjobs first thing in the morning. His gag reflex seemed to kick into overdrive when he slept. 

Rather than swallowing him down he eased the warm head past his lips and took his time licking and sucking at the heated skin. If Bucky cared that he was doing it definitely he certainly wasn't voicing it. Buck's breath was ragged, punctuated by soft moans. He focused on learning exactly what got him the most reaction and it didn't take long to find a sensitive bundle of nerves just under the hood that made Bucky's hips lift off the bed. He smiled. His free hand slipped up to wrap around Bucky's shaft, tugging slowly as his tongue focused on that spot.

He felt Bucky's balls tighten before the man moaned his name with an increased urgency. His hand moved faster and it took only moments before Bucky spilled into his mouth. The first few spurts hit the back of his throat and made his eyes water but he swallowed quickly. 

He continued to lick until Bucky squirmed away. Letting the man's softening cock slip from his lips he winked before climbing up to drop next to him on the bed. He didn't expect anything in return, so when Bucky moved, slipping lower he watched with curiosity. He could practically see Bucky's brain working.

He let his head drop back into the pillows. He wasn't about to push. The cool metal of Buck's hand moved to rest on his hip, pressing him lightly into the sheets. A moment later Bucky's lips wrapped around the head of his cock. "Fuck! Bucky fuck." He moaned forcing himself to focus on being still.

The metal fingers dug into his skin with enough force to bruise as Bucky's tongue began to tentatively explore. He let his head fall back into the pillows, eyes closed as the world narrowing in to focus on Bucky's carefully moving tongue. "So good." He purred softly.

Bucky hummed happily at his words and he bit back another groan. The pressure was building too fast, low in his stomach, and he wasn't remotely ready to finish. Slowly, hesitantly, Bucky drew back then eased forward again. He could feel Bucky's breath cool on his wet skin before the man eased forward again. The heat and friction made his head spin. "Jesus Buck. So good. Fuck feels so good." He was babbling, he knew he was but if anything it seemed to encourage Bucky's movements.

The metal hand slid off his hip and lower to cup his balls. The coolness in contrast to the warm heat of Bucky's mouth made his whole body shiver.

"Fuck. Bucky. Close." He pushed back but Bucky's eyes lifted to his and he sucked him in harder. He held off as long as he could but it took less than a second for the pleasure to slam over him. Sheer force of will kept his hips still as he came, waves of pleasure rolling over him. Bucky as best as he could tell swallowed it down though he definitely hadn't stayed grounded enough to be sure.

Once he felt in control of his limbs he lifted his head. Bucky flashed him an easy smirk before crawling up to drop into the bed next to him. "You okay?" He asked. He could clearly remember giving his first blowjob. The whole experience was a bit of an acquired taste.

"What do you think?" Bucky asked, pressing a kiss into his shoulder. Panic flooded his veins. He'd warned Bucky he was going to finish. He hadn't had to… The thoughts were cut off abruptly as Bucky's cock drug against his hip. Bucky had gotten hard sucking him off. 

He couldn't help the smile that spread over his face. "Oh really?" He purred, pressing against Bucky's shoulder until the man rolled back into his back. Straddling his hips again he ground his still oversensitive cock against Buck's. His cock was still wet enough to ease the worst of the friction. He ran his fingers over Buck's leaking slit and spread it over then before wrapping his hand around them and thrusting. Bucky's head fell back as he groaned.

"Too sensitive?" He asked. He might like the painful pleasure of being oversensitive but he was aware he was very much in the minority.

Bucky's head shook. "Please, don't stop."

He grinned and returned to thrusting. It took less than a minute for Bucky's hips to start moving to meet his. He watched Buck's face. His eyes were closed and his mouth opened, ragged breaths pressing out through the moans. "Bucky." He panted out. The blue eyes opened, locking unfocused onto his face. "Your hand….put your palm over the heads...rub." Bucky's hand slipped between their bodies to follow his instructions. 

His head rolled back as the the next thrust ended against Buck's palm. If the increase in sounds below him was any indication Bucky liked the extra friction.

Bucky's hips shuttered, his thrusts suddenly faster, chasing release. He smiled and tightened his hand. With a shout Bucky came, coating his hand. He held just long enough for the pulsing to stop before releasing Buck's cock.

It only took moments before he too was coming again, adding his come to Buck's chest. If Bucky even noticed he didn't care. The other man lay panting, eyes closed, his body covered in a thin layer of sweat. "You're… Going to be the…. Death of me." Bucky panted, a grin on his face, his eyes still closed.

"Told you, sex is definitely the best way to go." Bucky laughed. "Think you can get up to shower or should I get a washcloth?"

"You can fucking walk already? God I think my legs are gone."

"I'll start designing replacements." 

Bucky snorted but sat up slowly. Glancing down at his chest he made a face. "We were messy."

"Trust me it's worse when it dries. I'll go start the shower." Bucky nodded.

He stood managing to keep the unsteadiness out of his gate by sheer stubbornness alone. The bathroom was huge and thankfully the shower would be big enough to easily accommodate them both. By the time he got the water comfortable and stepped in Bucky appeared in the doorway. He looked positively wrecked. His hair stuck out at odd angles, his face plastered with a dopey grin. 

"Feeling good?" He asked as Bucky stepped into the shower with him. He moved out of the spray to let the other man rinse off. 

"Still coming down I think." Bucky mumbled. He leaned over catching Bucky's chin and pulling him in for a long slow kiss.

Bucky smiled as he pulled back. "So,  _ someone _ is onto blowjobs huh?" He winked.

Buck's cheeks went pink. How was it possible for someone to be that fucking cute? "Shut up." Bucky mumbled.

"What? Nothing wrong with it. Plus you're fucking amazing at it." 

"Yeah?" Bucky asked. He could hear the uncertainty in his voice and somehow that was even cuter than the damn blushing.

"Fuck yeah." He said and Bucky smiled.

"I couldn't go very deep like you did. I was worried I might get choked up."

"Trust me that's normal. It takes practice." He stopped himself short of promising they could work on it. He wasn't going to have Bucky long enough to work on it. Bucky would get RJ and he ready to go home. Maybe they could still see each other. If he moved back to Cali it wouldn't be that far of a drive.

He started to mention it when a thought ran through his mind _. Why would he still want to see you _ ? He let his mouth close and didn't say anything. He could enjoy this while it lasted. That would be enough.

Bucky

As they stepped through the doors for the final hotel before reaching New York he could honestly never think of a time he'd been happier that nothing happened. Checkout had gone smoothly. No one had followed them. They'd managed to eat lunch. Jarvis had steered them away from a major traffic jam. 

"Don't forget we need a late check-out." Tony reminded him as they passed through the doors. "If they seem even remotely upset just pay for a second day." 

He nodded, more than happy for the drama free day to continue. The receptionist, however, was completely unphased by the request. As the elevator doors opened and Tony pulled off his helmet he smiled. "I feel like today has been too easy."

Tony laughed. "I'm sure I could find something to fuck things up if you want. What are you thinking? Start a fire? Call the cops?"

"Fuck you, okay? You have to admit we've had some less than great days."

Tony crossed the room, crowding into his space, backing him up into the closed elevator doors. "Oh, I don't know. I think there's been some good too." Tony pulled him into a kiss. He hummed happily into the slow gentle contact. His hand slipped behind Tony's head, keeping him from breaking the kiss. All the stress both on the road yesterday and last night still felt too close to the surface, too raw. 

When Tony pulled back he let his hand fall. Instead of backing off however, Tony's arms wrapped around his waist. Tony's head rested lightly on his shoulder. Uncertainly he wrapped his arms around Tony's shoulders. Had they hugged before? Not like this he was certain. He rested his cheek on the top of Tony's head. The reactor pressed into his chest and he could almost swear he could feel it humming softly. 

And then, all at once Tony stepped back and turned into the massive penthouse floor they were staying in. "So, I'm going to be spending some time getting everything set up for tomorrow. I'm going to get you started as a new hire which means that you'll have to go through orientation and security set up. As soon as you have your clearance in the system I'll be able to override and give you the ability to go anywhere."

"So wait, I'm actually going through regular orientation? Won't that mean I'm expected to  _ work _ ?" 

"Yes and no. The position I've set you in is a remote position. You will do work, theoretically, but I'll have Jarvis doing the actual job so you don't have to."

"If Jarvis is capable of doing my job why would my job exist in the first place?" He frowned, watching Tony unpack the laptop.

"With a few weeks work and a massive amount of upgrades Jarvis could single handled run SI. Would I save a  _ lot _ of money? Definitely. Would I fuck thousands out of good paying work?  _ Definitely _ . I may be bad with people Bucky but I believe in humanity. Saving a few hundred thousand a day isn't worth destroying people's livelihood." Tony powered on the laptop as he spoke.

"Welcome back sir. Were your successful in securing a later checkout?"

"Yes dear we are on schedule."

"I have taken the liberty of scheduling Mr. Barnes an appointment with the tailor tomorrow afternoon."

"Thanks J." He called, turning to wander the suite. He avoided the massive windows focusing on the furniture. Unlike the last two places the furniture here was more homey. A large overstuffed sofa sat facing a massive TV. The kitchen too seemed less ultra modern. He'd just finished checking out the massive bathroom when Tony called him. "Yeah?" He asked, stepping into the living room.

"Need you to fill this out so I can officially, unofficially, hire you." Tony said, turning the laptop. A job application was open on the screen.

"Really?"

"Really. I have to make all this official so no one suspects anything. I take security at SI very seriously which means this will have to fool multiple security personnel."

He sighed and dropped into the chair next to Tony. As he filled out the forms Tony grabbed the room service menu. "So what tomorrow we finish the ride to New York then what? I've got the tailor appointment."

"So the appointment will show in the schedule as something SI set up. You will park at the tower and go in, they will have a car waiting. The car will take you to the appointment then bring you back to the tower. When Jarvis gives us the okay we sneak into the tower."

"Won't they notice if my bike never leaves?"

"Yeah. I've already arranged for them to be stored somewhere safe." Tony said easily.

"Somehow this plan sounded way easier when you first told my about it."

"Once we are in it will be I promise." Tony said quietly. He pushed the laptop back over to Tony and pulled the menu in front of him. Tony's fingers flew across the keys. "I have to ask, Buchanan? How long did it take you to learn to spell  _ that _ as a kid?"

He snorted, "Not that long, it's only one letter longer than  _ Anthony. _ " 

Tony paused for a moment. "That's fair. I deserved that." 

Tony didn't stop working when dinner was delivered. By the time he heard the laptop close the sun had set over the city. He was sitting on the sofa watching TV without really taking anything in. Tony's plan felt like it had far too many moving parts to possibly work. 

Tony crossed the room and stretched out on the couch, Tony's head resting in his lap. "I have to say," Tony's eyes turned to watch the TV as well, "doing all this? Traveling across the country, saving me, all just to see your daughter again." Tony shook his head, "I think if Mom had ever even hinted she might take me away Howard might have just begged her to." Tony was quiet a while before asking. "What's it like? Being a Dad?"

He pulled his eyes away from the screen to look down at Tony who was resolutely staring at the TV. That was definitely not a question he'd ever expected. "It's...a lot?" Tony snorted. "No really. When RJ was born, those first few months you just never sleep more than a few hours at once and you start to wonder what the fuck you got into. But then they start recognizing you, wanting to see you. And then walking and talking and it's just amazing. Watching her grow up was the single best thing in my life. It's hard too. There are times you don't know how you're going to make it through the day but in the end it's so worth it."

He opened his mouth to continue only to stop. He was rambling. Tony probably hadn't wanted a fucking dissertation. The other man still watched the TV, his eyes unfocused. 

"What about you Tony?" He asked, running his fingers lazily through Tony's hair. Tony rolled some to see his face, though Tony's head never left his lap.

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever thought about having kids?" He asked, running his fingers lightly over Tony's cheek and letting his fingernails drag lightly through the stubble there.

"Me?! A parent?" Tony's eyes dropped from his. "You do realize I'm functionally a child on my own right?  _ And  _ you know where I come from, how my family was. I have no business being around kids." Tony was deflecting. He knew he was. 

"I think you'd be a great parent. I didn't exactly grow up with a stellar father figure either."

Tony sighed and rolled again burying his face into him. Tony's next breath tickled as the other man's nose slipped under his shirt. He didn't press, instead taking the opportunity to trace a finger gently around the cusp of Tony's ear. Tony sighed contentedly. 

"Besides!" Tony said suddenly a solid twenty minutes later, "Having the paparazzi up your ass twenty four seven is no way for a kid to grow up. You end up isolated. Or a status symbol." Tony put on a mock woman's voice "Well  _ my _ child is friends with the Stark boy." "Trust me," Tony finished in his normal voice. "It's for the best."

He felt inexplicably saddened by Tony's words, as if some half formed idea in his mind was fading away. He pushed that away focusing on rubbing his nails on the back of Tony's head. The other man purred into his stomach.

"I'm worried about tomorrow." He said. "It just seems like so much to try to juggle."

"Nothing to worry about. I've got it all planned."

"When has anything we've planned gone right?"

"Today! Today was great remember?" Tony rolled to look back up at him.

"Uh huh. One good day is not a track record Tony. Besides where will you be all day?"

"Wandering around looking homeless?"

He snorted but Tony didn't join the laughter. "You… You're serious?" 

"No one gets ignored more in New York than the homeless. Trust me I've done it before." He started down at Tony. "I told you paparazzi is horrible but sometimes you need to get away."

He dropped his head back. "And this person who is taking our bikes? What if we need to get away?" 

"I have a level on the garage full of very fast sports cars  _ and _ motorcycles." He groaned. Tony continued, his voice quiet. "Look I know it's not a perfect plan but it's the best chance we have."

He nodded. What other option did they have? "What time is it anyway?"

"Twoish?" Tony said calmly. 

"Fuck no wonder I'm so tired. Come on. Bed."

Tony groaned but rolled off him. He followed Tony down the hall into the bedroom. Stripping he tossed his clothes in the corner and climbed into bed. He was able to stay awake just long enough to drag Tony against his chest and then sleep caught him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoping to have 3 chapters posted before end of night tonight and maybe more on Monday. I have finished writing this story so its all down to when I have time to edit and post.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Tony

He lay awake, his mind buzzing. Listening to Bucky describe parenthood had reminded him far too keenly of how Ana had described wanting children. Not that she ever could. Edwin had told him the story one of the few times he'd talked the man into drinking with him. He was not sure he'd ever forget the anguished sob that had broken through Edwin as he spoke. 

Ana'd been more a mother to him than his own parents. Howard had very different views of parenthood. Maybe if he'd been different, a better child, it would have been the same as Ana described it for Howard. Maybe Howard wouldn't have hated him. A cold shiver ran through him. He needed to get up. 

Glancing over his shoulder he checked that Bucky seemed fully sleep then carefully slid out from under the arm. He grabbed pajama pants and padded quietly back into the living room. He crossed to the wall of windows and let his head rest on the cool glass. Fifteen stories below he watched the cars occasionally passing on the streets. The city slowed as it slept. Tomorrow he'd be back in SI. He could finally start  _ doing something _ . He let his eyes close. 

_ What about you Tony? Ever think of having kids? _ The words whispered back through his mind. His knee jerk reaction was hell no he'd never thought about or wanted children. He'd told himself very early on he wouldn't have children. He was no fit parent. Plus if he turned out like Howard. He couldn't imagine bringing life into the world only to fuck it up as spectacularly as Howard had him. No. 

He pushed off the glass and crossed back to the laptop. "Welcome back sir." Jarvis' voice was warm and soothing. Jarvis rarely pushed on the nights he'd tried to sleep and ended up back in the lab. He was happy tonight wasn't one of those nights.

"Hey J. Pull up the home footage."

"If course sir."

"U? Dum-E?" He called as the camera flickered on. He heard a chirp from off camera and watched as Dum-E trundled into frame. His arm stretched out to look up at the camera and he chirped happily, his claw turning back and forth as if waving. Then looking somewhere in the lab he began a rapid series of beeps and chirps. A moment later U appeared. U's arm stretched up and pulled the camera down. A few moments later it was set on the bench.

Both bots crowded into frame Dum-E pushing U for a better spot. "Have you two been behaving?" He asked easily. A string of happy chirps issued though the camera. "Good. U has Dum-E helped you clean?" U chirped yes. "Good job Dum-E." He somehow doubted Dum-E had helped that much but he didn't press. 

Dum-E turned to look off camera and issued a string of beeps that made his heart tighten. Pepper. Of course he would keep asking about her. He'd loved Pepper. U rapped Dum-E in the arm and made a firm loud sound but Dum-E seemed unconcerned.

Dum-E looked back at the camera, chirped his name then looked back off camera and repeated the beep for Pepper. Had he left her file open? Surely the fire would have closed it. Yet Dum-E was looking repeatedly at the same spot. "J? Stane hasn't been back to the house has he?"

"No sir."

"Is he still guarding the place?"

"Yes sir, though the number of guards appears to have lessened in recent weeks. It appears he does not expect you to return."

He nodded. "U? What is he looking at? Pick up the camera and show me."

U lifted and turned the camera. His lab did look better. He had to give the bots credit. The unburned files had been stacked back in the benches. They had swept up most of the ash. As the camera turned he saw the picture taken when he'd opened the new headquarters in New York, the one in fact they were sneaking into tomorrow. In the picture to his left was Pepper. He'd seen the picture so many times he'd honestly forgotten it was there. "Thanks U." He said. 

The camera returned to the bench he spoke, "Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for me. Probably dangerous, I'll be fine. I'll try to catch up with you tomorrow but if not Jarvis can tell you I'm safe." Both bots chirped again. "Keep up the good work."

Both bots chirped and the connection cut. He sighed, letting his head fall back. For just a moment he'd thought maybe Pepper had somehow survived, made it back to the lab. The guards would have stopped her. She was gone because of him. He needed to accept it. He scrubbed at his face and turned to go over the plans for tomorrow.

The sun had just crested the horizon when he heard Bucky stirring from the hallway. The pad of footsteps slowly grew louder until Bucky appeared around the corner. "Hey." Bucky mumbled, obviously only half awake. "Sleep?"

"Couldn't. Spent the night going over everything again. Fresh coffee in the kitchen."

Bucky lumbered past to grab a cup. "Really shoulda slept. Busy day."

"I do my best work sleep deprived." He said without turning to follow Bucky with his eyes. "Ready for a lot of waiting?" Bucky groaned. They didn't have to leave until four in the afternoon which meant way too much down time. "I modified the communication from your helmet to fit in your ear like a Bluetooth hands free set. It's not the most comfortable thing but we can talk without you needing your helmet."

"Good idea." Bucky appeared with two cups of coffee. Setting them on the table Bucky wrapped his arms around him. The cool metal on his bare chest made him shiver. Bucky leaned into him, peering at the paperwork. "Anything new?"

"No." He said, leaning back, "just rehashing."

Bucky nodded. "Let's go sit on the couch. You can lie down, maybe rest some?"

"Gotta say Barnes you are giving off some mixed signals. Bring me coffee and suggest I sleep? Gonna give me whiplash."

Bucky snorted but pulled him gently out of his chair. He let himself be lead to the couch. Bucky dropped onto one side and grabbed the remote. He stretched like he had been the night before, his head on Bucky's lap. The TV clicked on and he listened as Bucky channel surfed. The cool metal came up to run lightly through his hair, over his cheek. A weight settled on his eyelids. He felt lazy and sluggish. He should tell Bucky about the bots. They should repeat the plan just to make sure it was rock solid. He should tell…

"Tony, time to wake up." Buck's voice drifted through his mind. He was already awake. He was just resting his eyes before back over the plan. He blinked. His pillow had somehow changed from Bucky's lap to a soft hotel pillow. His eyes snapped open.

"What time's it?!" He asked panic washing over him. 

"Relax Tony. Time to eat and get on the road." Bucky said gently from the table. He blinked. How long had he slept? "Go wash up. Room service should be here soon." Standing unsteadily he wandered down the hall. A glance at the bedroom clock as he passed by told him they had about 40 minutes to eat and leave. That was reasonable. Still he hadn't meant to sleep.

He washed quickly and returned to the living room to find food spread across the table. Now that things drew closer he found his heart pounding. They ate in relative silence. The plan pounded through his mind as he chewed. They stood and packed the few things that had come out of their bags and they managed to check out with ten minutes to spare. 

The last hour of the drive felt like it took weeks. They tested out the modification he'd made to the communications, Bucky said he could clearly hear him. Then they both went over the plan one final time. After that they fell silent. Nerves made the food in his stomach feel like lead. This had to work. It was the only option.

Slowly the streets and buildings began to look familiar. Then slowly in the distance he saw the top of the Stark Industries headquarters. He'd spent maybe two or three months total at the headquarters since its grand opening. Still it at least felt familiar. He would swear he could find their floors based on the windows even though the whole building was simply a wall of one way glass.

"I'm turning off here. Stay on the headset, keep me posted."

"Yup." Bucky's voice sounded tight. He turned off into a side street that lead to an alley behind his favorite donut shop. He killed the engine and sat on the bike, listening. A few minutes later Bucky spoke again. "Back parking garage?"

"Yes." 

Less than a minute later he heard Bucky speak to the garage guard. He held his breath. "I'm in. Parking now."

He relaxed, first step was done.

Bucky

The parking garage entrance was at ground level but quickly descended underground. He counted 3 levels before the first actual parking spots started. He rolled into a parking spot and pushed down the kickstand. "Where to now?" He asked, sliding the helmet off and setting it on the bike. He adjusted the ear piece Tony had made.

"Garage level 4, wait by the elevator."

He looked around the garage. In the middle was a well lit area with glass doors. He crossed and stepped inside. Soft music filled the small room. Four elevators, two on each side, sat closed. He pressed the up arrow and waited. The music followed him into the elevator and up to the fourth level. He stepped out of another set of glass doors. "I'm--"

"Barnes?" His heart dropped into is stomach as his head spun to find who called him. Someone had found them. He'd been at Stark Industries less than 5 minutes and someone already knew. Would they arrest him or just shoot on sight? But then his eyes landed on a man who stood next to a black SUV. The man was larger with black hair. "James? Right?" The man asked.

He took a breath and smiled. Just the driver. "Yea...Yes that's me."

"Sorry for the confusion. The photo they took during your hiring got corrupt or something." The man said, looking down at a tablet in his hand. "I normally do security but woman who was driving you is out sick so I'll be driving you tonight." The man offered his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Happy?" He heard Tony's voice in his ear. "Is that Happy?" 

Who the fuck was Happy? And how was he supposed to answer Tony without sounding insane? He climbed into the back seat and the man closed it behind him. "What?" He hissed at Tony before the driver could get in.

"Tell him Y2K plant explosion." Tony's voice said at the same time the driver said.

"So where are we heading? This stupid thing is messing up."

"What?"

"Tell him!" Tony demanded as the driver turned.

"You're tailoring appointment? Do you know who it is with?"

Swallowing he spoke, "Y2K plant explosion?"

The man turned the rest of the way in his seat to stare at him. "What did you say?" The man snapped. How heart began to pound again. What the fuck was Tony doing? Was this some long running Punk'd bullshit? See if the billionaire could make a good enough sob story you'd help? 

"Y2K plant explosion." He repeated.

The driver turned off the car and loudly said. "Sorry. It looks like this car is having problems. We will take my personal one." And with that the driver stepped out of the car and opened his door.

"Wha--" he started but the driver held up a finger for silence and stepped out of the way. He followed him back to the elevators, up two more levels and back out. This floor held a variety of high end cars. The man crossed to a black Rolls Royce. The driver slipped a hand into his pocket, pulled out his phone and dropped it on the garage floor before pulling out keys and unlocking the car. Again the back door was opened for him and closed behind him. What the fuck was going on?

The man slipped into the driver's seat, turned on the car and then finally turned to look at him. "Where is he now?" 

"I, what?"

Tony spoke, "In the alley behind the donut shop."

"In the alley behind the donut shop?" He parroted. That seemed to be enough, the man began to drive. 

He was silent, confusion pounding in his mind. Who was this man? Why did Tony suddenly feel okay giving up his location? He couldn't begin to form any coherent questions so he just rode in silence. It took less than five minutes before they pulled up in front of a currently closed donut shop. The man didn't open his door this time, instead he stepped out and immediately heading down the alley.

He jumped out to follow. He rounded the corner in time to see Tony pull off his helmet. The two men stared at each other for a moment then the driver pulled Tony into a hug. "God where have you been?" The driver asked when they broke apart.

"Did you lose everything?"

"Yeah. Left my phone and tablet back at the garage, used my car."

Tony visibly relaxed. "Bucky, this is Happy Hogan. He's my bodyguard."

"Nice to meet you." 

"There is so much to catch you up on but Bucky needs to get to his appointment first. I'm going to hang out here. Bucky has a hands-free if you need me. Keep up appearances. Drop him at headquarters before you come back."

"Right. Yes." Happy seemed to almost jump at the words. "Which--"

"His appointment is with Marshall."

Happy nodded and turned beginning to guide him back to the car. His head spun. Tony's bodyguard? Why wasn't he in Afghanistan then? Or protecting him when he got back? It made no sense.

If Happy spoke during the brief drive didn't hear it over there swirling thoughts in his head.

Marshall was waiting inside the door of the tailor when they arrived. He was a tall, lean man with sandy blonde hair. "You must be the new hire!" He said a massive smile spreading across his face. Instead of shaking his hand the man pulled him in and kissed his cheeks like he'd seen the French do on TV. He hasn't realized it was even a real thing but decided he was not a fan. "What's the number?" Marshall addressed Happy who looked uncomfortable.

"692421." He answered. Tony had given it to him yesterday and made sure he repeated it till he memorized it.

Marshall beamed at him. "Cute  _ and  _ smart? I like this one." 

He wondered, as Marshall guided him back into the shop, if Tony had picked Marshall on purpose. If so Tony deserved to be smacked. The next two hours were a whirlwind of fabrics and colors, styles and measurements. Marshall talked about 100 words a second and he was having a hard time keeping up. His brain simply felt too full of information to handle more.

"...matches your eyes…brings out the exoticness of your skin tone…really softens yo…" on and on Marshall chattered. At one point he could see Happy watching. If this was out of character for Marshall, Happy certainly hid it well.

Finally Marshall seemed to run out of things to say. He was told they would be ready in the morning and finally he was allowed to leave. The car felt eerily quiet after the wall of sound that had been Marshall. "Sounds like you're done." Tony's voice in his ear made him jump. 

"Finally. Did you pick him on purpose?" He demanded, not caring if Happy was listening. 

Tony laughed. "Jarvis did actually. Marshall is the best in the business even if he's a bit chatty."

"A bit?" He echoed. "He makes you seem mute."

Happy and Tony both broke into laughter. When they pulled up outside the garage the guard didn't even stop Happy. "What level are you on?" Happy asked.

Which level had he parked on? He'd been so focused on the plan he hadn't even checked. "The first one with parking spots?" He offered. Happy nodded as if that was a perfectly reasonable answer. 

He pointed out his bike and Happy stopped. "See you soon." Happy said. He watched the man pull away then pulled in his helmet. 

"So who is this guy?" He demanded once his helmet was on.

"Happy has been my security for more than a decade. We can trust him."

"If he was with you more than a decade where was he in Afghanistan?"

"He couldn't come." Tony answered. "Scheduling conflict. I am certain Obie saw to it personally."

He drove back up the winding levels of the garage, glad to be in control of the bike rather than a passenger. He could hear Happy arrive and he and Tony start to speak through the headset before he made it to the shop. By the time he killed the motor and rolled his bike behind the shop Tony had started talking about Obie. 

"…Found me in the desert and took me back to the air strip. I told him on the way back I wanted to shut down the weapons side of SI. Obie said he would. Then a few days after I got back he tells me there's a board meeting. Takes me to the sketchy building. I'm focused on memorizing the report so I don't even notice till a bag gets yanked over my head. Went down swinging. Obie auctioned me off. Bucky was supposed to drive me to the buyer in a trunk but he figured out something was up and checked the trunk. Thankfully he did. Been helping ever since."

"I'll kill Stane." Happy snarled as Tony finished. "He had us all so convinced you were gone."

"Tell me what's been going on inside SI." Tony pressed, leaning back on the alley wall. "The stuff the news is keeping quiet about."

"He's fired key people in all of the non-weapon sectors. Rumor is he's trying to destabilize those divisions and make them collapse without having to  _ close _ them"

Tony groaned and rubbed his face. "That's fixable at least once I get Stane to step down."

"How are you going to do that?" Happy asked.

"Right now I just need to get into HQ. Jarvis said between 10:47 and 11:02 tonight. Is that still good?" Happy nodded. 

"I go back in thirty minutes. I could get you in sooner if you wanted?"

"How?" Tony asked. 

"I am one of the heads of security now. Just tell me when and I can get you in."

"How soon after you get back could you get us in?" Tony looked hopeful. 

"5 minutes max. If you can get behind the building I'll flash the loading dock light when it's clear." 

Tony nodded. "Sounds good."

"Why did you have him get hired?" Happy asked, eyes turning to him.

"I'll need someone to help get in and out with tools, food, supplies." Tony said gesturing vaguely.

"Why not get him hired on in security? We have more access quicker than anyone in the building."

"There weren't any open positions when I was setting him up and I didn't want to make any and draw attention."

Happy nodded. "I'll post one and we can switch him over." 

He let his eyes close as they spoke about him as if he wasn't even in the room. It felt strange but he also found himself unable to care. His brain felt heavy with information and confusion. The crunch of footsteps on the loose gravel made him open his eyes. Happy was leaving. He watched the man disappear around the corner. Then a few moments later a car started and pulled away.

Tony crossed to stand in front of him. "You good?"

"Be better when we are fucking inside?" He said honestly.

Tony snorted. "Not much longer by the sound of it. Ready to go?"

He nodded, pulled on his helmet and climbed back into his bike. 

The drive back to SI was a short one. Jarvis let Tony know he'd looped the security feedback to insure they were undetectable. They parked just inside the alley. Tony pulled off his bag and produced a map. Tony unfolded it and handed it to him. "Pretend to be lost." Tony whispered. Tony stepped behind him to look at the map but he was pretty confident that instead Tony was watching for the lights to flash.

It was the longest 5 minutes he'd ever experienced, waiting for the light. What if this didn't work? What if Happy had sold them to Stane and the delay was just waiting for Stane to arrive? Would they even have a chance to run? "Now!" Tony's voice cut into his thoughts. Tony was pushing his bike forward so he followed suit. Up the loading bay, down a wide hall and into an empty elevator which stood waiting open. "Keep this elevator locked down." Tony spoke and much to his surprise Jarvis Voice slipped through the elevator speaker.

"Of course sir."

Tony must have noticed the look on his face because the other man laughed. "Jarvis is integrated completely with this building. Always watching but also always available." 

He wasn't sure how he felt about that either. When the elevator dinged softly his heart skipped a beat but the doors opened the floor was completely deserted. The room was lit only by the fading sunlight shining through the windows. The dying light cast dark heavy shadows on work tables, machines and computers that dappled the space. 

Tony shoved his bike into the corner and kicked down the stand. He followed suit. "Honey I'm home." Tony said. The lights flickered to life. The windows suddenly illuminated with numbers and pictures and news as if they were massive computer screens. He moved over to the closest window. A ticker for stocks filled the screen. He reached out and Tony spoke again. "It's a touch screen. Feel free to check it out."

Cautiously he tapped the Stark Industries stock. It pulled up a portfolio of Stark Industries stock prices. A massive drop marked the announcement of Tony's death. It still hadn't fully recovered. He tried a few more as the sun finally set behind the horizon. "Do we need to turn off the lights?" He asked. Surely the glowing floor would be like a beacon to anyone looking for them.

"One way glass." Tony answered. "It's the only way I could integrate the tech. The whole building is made of it too. It keeps anyone from trying to spy on us." He nodded. "Watch this. Jarvis, home view." With a ripple the windows changed, becoming almost solid in appearance. The view of the New York skyline changed. He could now see a beach with rolling waves. "That." Tony said, moving to stand next to him, "is the view from my bedroom in Malibu." Tony said.

He stared out over the coastline. It was truly beautiful. Far moreso than anywhere he'd ever lived before, fuck even anywhere he'd visited. It was suddenly once again keenly aware how different his and Stark's lives had been.

The soft ding of the elevator made then both spin around but it was only Happy. "J you gotta warn me when people are coming." Tony said a hand over the reactor.

"So sorry sir." Jarvis answered.

"Did you have any trouble?" Happy asked his eyes taking in the room. "Malibu?"

Tony waved and the windows returned to showing the skyline. "Yeah. Happy did you have any luck on the job?"

"Oh! Yes. He starts with me tomorrow as security in training." Tony nodded. "Also, I ordered your favorite. I'll bring it up soon."

"Happy you're a saint amongst men." Tony beamed.

"What kind of pizza do you like?" Happy asked, turning to him.

"Pepperoni is fine." He answered but Happy was looking at him strangely.

"Is he? Are you the guy? The arm thing?" Happy looked better him and Tony.

"That's me." He said, holding up the metal arm.

Happy nodded. "Glad to see you're doing okay." He smiled. "I'll bring food up when it gets here." Happy said and with that the other man left. 

Tony turned back to him. "I'll probably be down here for the foreseeable future but do you want to see where we will be living for now?"

"Sure Tony." He said. It wasn't that late, maybe 7 or 8 but he felt like he'd been awake for days. The stress of just getting there and getting inside seemed to have crashed over him. Tony moved over to the elevator which rose a floor without promoting. Of course if Jarvis was always listening it made sense.

The doors opened up to a large living space that reminded him of the penthouse suits they'd stayed in. Warm wood floors spread as far as he could see. Several large couches sat close enough together to allow for guests to all talk or watch the massive TV that hung on a nearby wall. A massive piano took up a corner, a guitar sat next to it. Did Tony play either or were they for show, he wondered? Tony walked calmly through the space. A floor to ceiling waterfall fountain began to flow as the lights came up in the room. 

A kitchen, all granite and wood, appeared past a wall as he followed Tony. Across from it a floor to ceiling bar, fully stocked. "Guest bath is there." Tony pointed at a closed door before walking down the hallway. Tony pointed out the door for an office without opening it then opened the door to the bedroom.

Like the rest of the floor it was massively oversized. A huge bed stood across from the door. Beautiful sliding wood doors hid what he guessed to be a dresser but when Tony opened them a TV as large as the wall was revealed. He opened another door which was a walk in closet that was probably bigger than his guest bedroom at home.

The bathroom was equally as extravagant. Beautiful marble everywhere. The floors, the walls, the tub, the shower, all marble. Deep in his chest he felt something like shame at the idea of someone used to something like this had stayed at his house. He'd always been so proud of his home. He was the first in his family to own a home rather than just rent forever but seeing this, the opulence of what Tony had made his accomplishments feel meaningless.

If Tony noticed his shift in mood he didn't comment instead saying, "I'll be downstairs. You're welcome to come hang out or if you want some time without me in your hair that's fine too." He remained there, standing the bathroom as Tony left. 

Tomorrow he'd start his fake job as security while Tony did whatever Tony was going to do and it would eventually lead to seeing RJ. It all felt like an overwhelming long and winding road. He moved to one of the couches in the living room. "Jarvis?" He asked curiously.

"Yes Mr. Barnes?"

"So you really do watch all the time?"

"Yes. That is correct." He let his head drop back on the couch. "Mr. Hogan is arriving with your food." Jarvis said after several minutes of quiet.

"Thanks." He answered as the elevator opened.

Happy stepped out with what had to be the fucking biggest pizza box he'd ever seen. "Fuck Happy how big is that?"

Happy laughed. "Never seen a New York pizza huh? Trust me, best there is." Happy sat there box on the counter then turned to leave.

"Hey Happy?" The man stopped. "That's not your real name is it?"

Happy snorted. "No. It's Harold. Tony gave me the nickname." 

"How'd you and Tony meet?" He asked, part in curiosity, partly because he wanted someone to distract him from the shit mood he was in.

Happy turned and walked over to drop into one of the other couches. "I met Tony through a mutual friend. James Rhodes. He and I used to go to the same gym. I was a boxer before I met Tony. After that ex put him in the hospital he was looking for some security and I was getting out of boxing. Rhodes introduced us. Tony has been a very good friend since. Great boss." Happy leaned back into the sofa. "He's just a good guy all around."

"You just saying that cause Jarvis is listening?" He asked.

"Nah. He really is." Happy said. He could hear the honesty in the man's voice.

"I just can't imagine growing up with all this." He said, gesturing to the room overall.

"Yeah. Me either. My uhh my family we were dirt poor. One bedroom, four kids. I slept on a pullout couch with my little brother til I was 15. Started boxing then. Was able to afford my own place. Tony, he still sees it though, you know? Some people I've seen over the years they don't know what it's like for normal people 'cause they never lived it but not Tony. He gets it, even if it's never been something he's dealt with. He's just so generous and giving. He truly is a good guy."

He nodded. "Yeah I've seen that some too. The schools thing. And my arm."

"Exactly." Happy said. "I'm heading home for the night. You need anything?"

"I'm good. Thanks."

Happy stood and left.

He gained his feet and grabbed the massive box. Eyes scanning the room he realized there wasn't a dining room table anywhere. He considered returning to the couch but thought better of it and instead moved to the elevator. A wall of sound washed over him as the elevator doors opened. Tony sat at a workbench. Next to him, floating in the air was an outline of a person with what looked like armor. The pizza box sat open on a second bench nearby. It was equally as huge and looked like a slice was already missing.

He dropped his own box in the bench and tapped Tony who jumped slightly. With a wave of Tony's hand the music quieted. "How can you work with the music that loud?" 

"Helps me think!" Tony said with a smile. He looked happier than he'd seen him in days. He crossed to the floating outline. Cautiously he reached out to touch it. The outline spun. 

"Tony, what is this?" 

"That's the very base of my armor design." Tony said without looking over. 

"No I mean this." He gestured to the table.

"Oh! That's just a prototype. That's why it's here. I got interested in augmented reality a few months ago. This was the first design. I'm working on setting up a lab wide version back home. This one works but it's flawed." Tony swatted at the image which spun wildly. "I'm going to have to upgrade the reactor. If I'm going to support sustained use of any suit, especially one that will fly, I need more power."

"Did you say fly?" He asked turning to look at Tony.

"Yeah!" Tony grabbed some papers and held them over. "Just rough ideas right now but it appears sustained controlled flight wouldn't be too hard to achieve. I was already close on the first design. Without the ever present threat of being caught it should be easy to set up."

He stared at the designs. Most of it went over his head but he could clearly see the idea Tony had started. "These are amazing Tony." He said, eyes tracking over the designs. Tony grinned.

He sat and ate as Tony worked around him. After seeing Tony work in his garage watching him in his element was amazingly different. Tony moved easily through the space as if he'd simply been born in the shop.

As the darkness spread he became increasingly aware that he needed to get to bed. Tony showed no sign of slowing down. "I'm going to go up and get ready for bed." He said finally.

"I'll be working. Don't wait up for me."

He took the elevator back up to the extravagant living room. It felt too quiet, too empty. He pushed that feeling aside and focused on moving to the bedroom, changing and crawling into the massive bed.

It too felt empty. He tossed and turned, trying and failing to find a comfortable position to sleep. He'd gotten so used to having someone else in bed that now trying to sleep alone felt miserable. 

Sitting up for the fifth time to angrily beat his pillow into a better shape he checked the clock. 3 in the morning. Frustration rolled over him.  _ You need to get used to this _ , he chastised himself.  _ This was never a long term plan. _

By the time 4 rolled around he stood, throwing the pillow to the floor. It landed with an unsatisfying thump. Angrily he stalked into the bathroom to shower. He didn't want to start this fucking fake job today. He didn't want to fucking pretend to learn or follow directions. He just wanted to get some fucking sleep. 

He showered and dressed before stomping into the kitchen for coffee. After a moment's consideration he made two cups and carried them to the elevator. The music turned down automatically this time as he entered. Tony spun to look at him. He could see confusion pass on the man's face.

"I know you get up early but this is early even for you isn't it?" Tony's eyes turned to the windows. The sky hadn’t even begun to lighten. 

He realized too late he wasn't really ready to deal with Tony either. He passed the cup without comment and turned to leave.

"Hey wait! Check this out." Tony said, turning to the bench.

How could he sound so awake without having slept? Maybe he had slept just not upstairs. There was a fairly comfortable looking couch in one of the corners. Frustration filled his chest. Of course Tony could sleep fine without him. He was the one messed up, dependant on someone else in bed after less than two weeks of having that closeness again. Tony was showing him something but he couldn't bring himself to care. "Not right now Tony." He said, trying to move towards the elevator.

Tony's face fell for a split second but then I'm an instant it was gone. "Right. Sorry. I'll just…" and Tony turned back to the bench.

Guilt waged against the frustration in his chest. It wasn't Tony's fault. Not really. Closing his eyes he chugged the scalding coffee and turned back to Tony. "I'm sorry. I'm just really tired. What did you want to show me?"

"Did you not sleep?" Tony asked, surprised.

"No." Tony looked at him a moment then picked up what he'd been showing him.

It was as he'd guessed the start of a reactor. He listened as Tony explained some of the changes he'd made. Most of it went over his head but Tony was obviously making an effort to keep from being too confusing. The sun slowly rose over the horizon, sliding between buildings as it came. 

"Did you sleep last night Tony?" He asked, the coffee had started to kick in and he felt at least slightly more human.

"Some." Tony said.

"What's some?"

"Sir slept from 3:03 until 3:21 this morning." Jarvis spoke.

"Tony you need to get some sleep tonight." 

"Yes dear."

"Mr. Barnes, Mr Hogan is requesting you meet him in garage level 11 in twenty minutes." 

He nodded. "Thanks J. I'll go get ready."

"Bucky." Tony called as he stepped into the elevator. "Come back after work. I need your help with something." The words sounded almost tight. 

"Will do Tony."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Tony

He watched the elevator doors close, a thick pool of dread building in his stomach. He still couldn't change the reactor alone, he knew that. Still trusting someone else with the knowledge. Bucky seemed trustworthy enough but so had Obie. And Bucky would be gone in a few weeks with nothing stopping him from selling the key to killing Tony Stark to the highest bidder. But there was no one else. He had no one else. This would have to work.

He turned back to the reactor. It was already mostly done. He'd made several. It was worth it to have backups of the only thing keeping him from an untimely death. 

All that was left now was to jump start the reaction so they could begin to power themselves. Using the current reactor would be best. He could use the buildings power grid instead but it would cause the rest of the building to lose power which could make someone interested in looking for the cause. Still it was risky. If his math was right the reactor he had would be undamaged but if something caused it to be more energy than he expected it could cause the current reactor to fail.

He took his time connecting the wires, testing and retesting. Finally he took a slow breath and connected the two reactors. His breath was forced from his lungs as pain exploded through him. For a moment he was certain the current reactor had ruptured in his chest. His heart spasmed, missing one beat. Then two. Then three. And then as the reactor on the table glowed blue his heart hammered back to life. 

The world spun and he dropped heavily onto his shop stool. Fear spreading over him he cautiously reached up to touch the reactor in his chest. It was whole and undamaged. His heart continued to pound, his chest throbbed painfully. "Jarvis, remind me never to do that again."

"Noted sir."

It took a solid half hour for the pain to subside. While he waited he carefully connected the newly powered reactor to one of the spares. Knowing that the wires no longer connected to the reactor in his chest did nothing to stop his heart jumping as he made the final connection.

He watched as the donor reactor dimmed then went out. Well that explained the horrible pain. He watched the second reactor flicker to life. Moments later power returned to the original reactor. Best to never used the one actively in his chest then. He carefully lit the remaining two extras before turning to the boots that would eventually enable him to fly.

The sound of the elevator pulled him away from his soldering. Bucky stood in the elevator looking tired. The suit he wore was definitely Marshall's handiwork. Perfectly tailored. He could think of half a dozen ways he'd like to take that suit off. "Hey Tony. You wanted me to stop by?"

In an instant ice spread through his veins. It was needed of course. It had to be done. He needed the help. "Yeah. Thanks." He managed around a lump of panic in his throat. "I… Just a minute." He turned, trying desperately to think of anything he could do on the boot just to delay things a bit longer. 

"Looks like you've been busy." Bucky was crossing the room. He could hear the soft sound of his footsteps. He glanced over the workbench. The reactors glowed brightly where they had been shoved to the corner of the bench. The boots now stood front and center and clearly recognizable as boots. If he worked through the night he'd be able to do a test flight by morning. 

Nothing that he had left was small. He'd been finishing this round of soldering when Bucky arrived which meant to start anything now would mean starting on the next step only to have to pause. "How was your first day?" He asked, focusing on straightening the bench.

"Long. Tony I'm really worn out. What was it you needed?" 

He could hear the note of frustration in Bucky's voice. "I need you help."

Bucky was quiet a long moment. "With…?" Bucky coaxed, though the impatience seemed to be growing.

"Replacing the reactor." He said. "But if you're tired we can wait till tomorrow or--"

"It's fine Tony. How can I help?" The irritation was gone from his tone. He took a slow breath. Of course he was fine with doing it now.

He gained his feet and picked up a spare reactor. Unlike home he didn't have a medical table here so he crossed to the couch and lay down. He passed the new reactor to Bucky. "That wire," he pointed to the wire coming out of the back of the reactor, "plugs in at the base of the housing. I need you to plug it in as quickly as possible."

Bucky nodded. "Which way?" 

"It fits either way. Just be ready."

Bucky nodded. He took a slow breath. "In three… Two…" and with a sharp tug the old reactor came free. Pain bloomed out from the reactor as he felt his heart drop out of rhythm for the second time that day. He felt the pressure of Bucky's hand pressing on the reactor walls from the inside. His stomach turned but he forced himself to breathe. After what could have been hours, though logically he knew it had only been seconds, he felt a firm press on the back of the casing. He felt a sharp pop on his chest and then his heart returning to a normal beat.

His eyes rolled up to look at Bucky. The bright blue eyes looked as terrified as he'd felt. "Did I… Are you okay?" Bucky stammered.

"Yeah. I'm good. Thank you."

"Good. Upstairs. We both need to shower and you need to eat."

"I'm  _ fine. _ "

"Tony the work will be there tomorrow and Jarvis told me you haven't eaten yet today and we both need rest. Come on."

Bucky held out a hand. He let himself be pulled up. The room spun dangerously. He stumbled closer, falling against Bucky's chest. He tugged Bucky's shirt out from where it was tucked in and let his fingers trail lightly over the warm skin beneath. Maybe a bit of R&R wouldn't hurt.

He let Bucky lead him back to the elevator and up. "Happy brought sushi from your favorite place." Bucky said as they stepped off the elevator.

"Uh I love that man." He said crossing to the bar and dropping onto a stool. He could hear Bucky chuckle as he followed. "Did you tell him what you liked too?" He asked, beginning to pull out to go containers.

"I've never had sushi so he said he bought extra of what you liked and then got me some fried rice in case I hated it." 

Happy really was a good guy. Once this was sorted he was buying him a car. Or a house. Definitely a house. He stomped down his immediate response to the idea that someone could have gone their whole childhood without trying sushi. Just because it had been his favorite didn't mean everyone would have had access. "Well then it's about time you try." He said popping open a container. Bucky sat on the stool next to him, their shoulders bumping together as Bucky settled in.

Grabbing chopsticks he picked up one of the masago and bringing it to Bucky's lips. Bucky reached up to take the sushi with his fingers but he moved it back until the man's hand dropped then returned it to Bucky's lips. "Really Tony? Are you _ feeding _ me?"

He didn't answer just raised an eyebrow and waited. With an exaggerated sigh Bucky opened his mouth and he popped it in. While the man chewed he grabbed one for himself. His eyes rolled and he moaned around the flavors. It had been far too long since he'd had sushi. 

He watched Bucky swallow and waited. "Not anything like I was expecting." Bucky finally stated.

"In a good way or a bad way?" He asked, opening another container.

"Good? I think?"

"These are all nigiri sushi. There are other kinds but don't let anyone fool you. This is the best kind." He picked up a piece of sake and offered it. Bucky didn't protest as much to the hand feeding the second time around. 

"Whas the difference?" Bucky mumbled as he chewed.

"Nigiri means two fingers. It's made when the sushi chef balls up rice then presses it with two fingers to make the shape. So it's not rolled like Maki." He grabbed another masago with his chopsticks as he spoke.

"I liked that one better than the first."

"That was salmon." He said. He couldn't help but smile when Bucky's mouth opened for a second piece long before it reached his lips.

"What's that?" Bucky pointed to the Tamago.

"Egg." He said. Picking it up with his fingers he held it up to Bucky's lips. He waited, curious if Bucky would take being hand fed. He'd never really understood the sexual aspect of the food in bed thing but he could definitely get behind hand feeding. It didn't help that Bucky's lips were fucking perfect. The memory of them stretched around his cock flickered through his mind. 

If Bucky minded the switch from chopsticks to fingers he didn't comment. "Still like the salmon best."

"It's called Sake." He supplied, offering another to Bucky. Bucky's eyes locked into his as he licked the sushi from his fingers. He didn't try to stop the moan as Bucky's tongue slid over the pads of his fingers.

"I think someone has a fetish." Bucky purred. 

"Not my fault your mouth is fucking sexy." He said before eating another masago.

"Hmm. I prefer your mouth." Bucky said. Then leaning forward, "especially wrapped around my dick." 

He blinked, startled but definitely not complaining about the sudden forwardness. "Got something on your mind?" He asked with a smile.

"Been thinking about you all day." Bucky's fingers hooked into his shirt and pulled him forward. He moved willingly letting their mouths crash together, Bucky's tongue licking into his mouth. 

He'd not had a chance to voice it before Bucky's lips caught his but the other man had been on his mind a considerable amount that day even if you disincluded the three separate panic attacks about Bucky changing the reactor. He'd worried if Bucky would be recognized, if Obie would recognize him and show up. But more than that he'd worried about the man overall, his well being, if he was enjoying the job, thoughts he hadn't had since Trey. Not that he'd ever admit any of it. Bucky was the only thing he'd had close to a long term relationship since Trey. Sure he and Pep had been close but it was still a friendship not a relationship. 

Bucky's fingers were sliding under his shirt, the soft contact still like lightning. God and that fucking metal hand. He didn't try to stop the whispered moan escaping his lips but then Bucky went still. He froze, heart started to pound.  _ What had he said?  _ As if on replay the words 'Bucky please fuck me' echoed in his mind.  _ Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. _ He opened his mouth to speak but Bucky got there first.

"You really want me to?"

That... couldn't be the right response. He'd misheard. He had to have misunderstood. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I'm not trying to push anything. My mouth just gets ahead of my brain. I'm sorry. Can we just go back to where we were before I said that?"

But Bucky was still staring at him. He didn't move to start over or even to try to talk. Fuck. Way to ruin the mood, he chastised himself before reaching for another bite of sushi, desperate for some movement.

"Tony." The metal hand landed on his arm, stopping him short. "Did you really mean that?"

Fuck. Apparently this wasn't just going away. What was he supposed to say? Would Bucky bolt if he said yes? Would Bucky know he was lying if he said no? He took a slow breath and forced his brain to work. "Only if you want to." He finally landed on. There. Nice and open, not pressuring. 

"I always figured you...I mean I assumed." Was Bucky  _ blushing _ ? How the fuck could be manage to look so cute and sexy at the same time? It had to be illegal. He stretched forward and pulled the man into a kiss. When they broke apart the blush had only gotten worse but he'd apparently had time to work out what he wanted to say. "I figured you'd be into giving not receiving." Bucky said all in a rush.

"You thought I'd only top?" He offered and Bucky nodded. "I go either way babe. That something you'd want to try sometime?" He asked easily. He may have chose the words carefully, but no reason Bucky needed to know that. No pressure, no rush. His heart pounded in his chest.

"I...I think so?" He could see Bucky's mind working overtime behind the bright blue eyes.

"We can always stop you know? If you hate it or change your mind. Think about it anyway. It's up to you." He pulled his hand away from the slackening hold of the metal hand to grab the sushi he'd reached for. With any luck he'd made it safely through the fucking mine field his mouth had laid. 

Bucky didn't move to continue eating. Instead the blue eyes seemed to be actively trying to bore into the side of his head. After eating three more pieces of sushi with no movement from Bucky, he grabbed a Sake and held it to Bucky's mouth. Bucky opened his mouth and allowed himself to be fed without ever breaking the look. 

He'd done this. He'd made this uncomfortable. Maybe even broken the fragile trust he'd built with the other man. Was Bucky thinking about leaving? But then why had Bucky pressed thinking he was a top? "I wouldn't know what the fuck I'm doing." The words were quiet enough even the tiniest bit of background noise would have drowned them out. But in the silence he heard them clearly.

"Not so different from sex with a woman. A bit more prep involved but you don't have to help with that if it weirds you out." He kept his voice level and relaxed as his heart tried to hammer out of his chest through the reactor.

"Doesn't it hurt? For you I mean?"

He smiled at the almost shy note to Bucky's voice. "While I'm all for a little pain in bed, no. It doesn't hurt."

Bucky smirked at the comment. "Okay."

"Okay?" He pressed.

"I guess let's try? And if I change my mind we can stop right?"

He grinned. "Of course. Just speak up and everything stops." Bucky nodded. "Want to finish eating?"

Bucky's eyes finally left his to survey the food. Then the bright blue returning to him Bucky shook his head. He quickly put the lids back on the containers and began to stack them into the take out bag. He returned the bag to the fridge and pulled Bucky to his feet.

Bucky followed him down the hall into the bedroom they shared. As soon as the door clicked shut he spun, pressing Bucky back into the door and kissing him hard. The sudden action earned him a surprised grunt from the larger man. He grinned into the kiss, pressing his leg between Bucky's. In spite of Bucky's  _ very _ obvious uncertainty his dick seemed to be far less concerned. He could feel the weight of it, rock hard, pressing into his hip.

Emboldened that while nervous, Bucky was still excited, he leaned back breaking the kiss while keeping the other man squarely pressed into the door. Slowly he moved the leg between Bucky's legs applying the lightest amount of friction to the man's already straining cock. "So." He said, pausing slightly when Bucky ground into his hip. "Like I mentioned before, there's some prep that needs done. I can stay in here and you can watch or I can go to the bathroom and just come out when I'm ready. It's a preference, I'm fine with either."

He kept the slow friction as he waited for an answer. He'd definitely been with guys who preferred both. He always enjoyed more when he found guys into helping him prep but considering this was a massive step at all for Bucky he wasn't about to push. "I want to see." Bucky said softly. He could see the tips of the man's ears going pink as he spoke.

He covered the distance between them, kissing Bucky again. He kept it short and light before pulling back just far enough to begin stripping. Bucky followed suit, their clothes ending in a jumbled pile around then. He backed up till the backs of his knees bumped the bed and he sat. Bucky stood in front of him and pressed a surprising slow and gentle kiss into his lips. The cool metal hand cradled his cheek.

"You're too fucking hot for your own good, you know that?" Bucky murmured against his lips. He grinned. 

"Pretty sure it's impossible for me to be anything for my own good." He said with a wink. Bucky snorted.

Pulling away he crawled up into the bed he grabbed the lube from the nightstand. "Where do you want me?" Bucky asked uncertainly from behind him. The bed dipped as Bucky eased into it.

"Just get comfortable so you can watch." He said slicking up his fingers. He shifted, resting his head on his left arm as his right slide back with easily. He pressed his index finger in, past the tight ring of muscle. God how many years had it been? Still less than a few pumps of his fingers and his body relaxed with practiced ease. He slid the second finger in, reveling in the deep burn.

"And that doesn't hurt?" He could hear the disbelief in Bucky's tone. He glanced under his arm. He couldn't see Bucky's face. He could see the man's cock, thick and leaking. Bucky's hand was pumping in rhythm with his fingers. Fuck was he doing that on purpose? Shit, what had Bucky asked him?

"Uhh… Oh! It does ache some but it's a feeling you get used to. Honestly, I kind of like it." He said with a grin he knew Bucky couldn't see. He scissored his fingers apart eyes still on Bucky's hand.

"Can…" Bucky started then stopped.

"It's okay. What?" He encouraged, though the first words slipped out as a groan as he accidentally brushed over his prostate.

"Can I try?"

"You mean with your fingers? 

"Sorry. That was probably weird. Nevermind." Bucky sounded embarrassed.

"It's not weird. Fucking sexy's what it is. Just use the lube."

He slid his own fingers free. He wanted to roll over, to watch the expressions as Bucky's fingers slid into him but he didn't. It was much less awkward to do at this angle especially your first time. 

He couldn't have stopped the soft moan that slipped from his lips even if he wanted to. Buck's fingers were wider than his own. "Fuck." Bucky whispered. For a moment he was worried Bucky didn't like it. But before he could speak he man was continuing. "So fucking tight. And hot." Bucky moaned again as he pulled his finger most of the way out then pressed in again. 

He focused on keeping his hips still, letting Bucky explore. His thighs shook slightly with the effort. "You can use two fingers." He prompted.

"Will it fit?" Bucky sounded disbelieving. 

"Your cock is thicker than two fingers so I would definitely hope so." He said. 

Buck's finger slipped free only to be replaced a moment later with two. He couldn't stop himself pressing back into the pressure a soft sigh slipping from his lips. The added width felt amazing. Buck's hand stilled. He took the opportunity and began to fuck back into the fingers still pressed inside him. "Fuck Tony." Buck's voice was low.

He glanced back under his arm to see the glint of Bucky's metal hand wrapped around Bucky's cock still pumping in time with his movements.

"I'm ready whenever you are." He said. In spite of not seeing his face he could practically feel Bucky thinking for a moment before the fingers slipped free.

"Should I…?" Bucky hesitated. He rolled into his back, tired of not seeing the other man's expression. It was well worth it. Buck's pupils were blown wide, lips parted slightly. A warm blush tipped his ears and the line where the metal met skin. His cock was full and leaking precum onto the sheet.

He sat up leaning forward and pulling Bucky into a kiss. The metal hand slipped behind his back supporting him. He let his own fingers trail up the cool metal of Buck's arm, up and onto his shoulder, then down across the scars. 

Reaching next to them he grabbed a few pillows and slipped them under his hips. No point in leaving Bucky to find the right angle by chance. He laid back resting his head on his arms, pillows lifting his hips. Bucky hesitated a moment. He didn't press, just waited. 

After what felt like hours Bucky moved forward and awkwardly lined up the blunt head of his cock. Slowly Bucky pressed forward. "So good." He encouraged gently. Then with a light pop he was in. The aching burn made him shiver. "So good." He repeated, his brain apparently incapable of new words as Bucky slowly eased in.

"Fucking hell Tony." Bucky hissed. "So fucking tight."

He couldn't help but smile. His eyes fought to drift closed, to fall into sensation but he forced himself to keep them open. Forced himself to watch Bucky's face as the man inched in. "So good it almost hurts right?" He asked. Instead of speaking Bucky gave a tight nod.

He'd definitely got the angle right. Bucky's cock slowly ground against his prostate as he pressed in. "Ffff...uck." he groaned, arching into the slow drag.

Bucky froze, the head of his cock still pressing into the sensitive knot. "What?" Bucky sounded panicked. Fuck.

He forced his eyes open as Bucky shifted, bumping his prostate again. "Not bad fuck. Good fuck. Don't stop." He forced out. Bucky started to move again and the overwhelming pressure eased off. Once he was fully seated the metal hand came to rest on his chest, as Bucky braced his weight on the arm. He let himself relax enjoying both the pressure from Bucky's hand on his chest and the feeling of Bucky's cock filling him. Buck's eyes were closed, his breathing already ragged.

He watched for several moments unmoving then with a smirk clenched down on Bucky's cock as tightly as he could. "Fuck!" Bucky moaned his hips stuttering forward involuntarily. "Fucking evil. Just fucking evil."

He laughed. "Aww what's wrong babe?" He purred, clenching again and watching the pleasure flash over Buck's face.

Buck's flesh hand came to rest on his hip then slowly the cool metal fingers began to slip lower. He had just enough time to register what was coming before the metal wrapped around his cock. "Fff….." he hissed, arching up into the contact. Tortuously slow, Bucky began to stroke his length. 

He squirmed seeking more friction but the hand on his hip held him still. He could feel the metal slowly warming as it moved lazily over him, which was definitely on the fucking hot as hell list. After what felt like a lifetime he whimpered. "Yy..ou gonna fuck me or what?" He demanded as firmly as he could. Bucky smirked down at him.

"Hmm." Bucky's thumb ran over his slit spreading the leaking precum. His hips jerked up only to be pressed back again. "I don't know. This is pretty nice."

"Damn it." His head dropped back into the bed. "Please?"

"Ooh. I like that." Bucky was grinning, he could hear it in his voice. The words were accompanied by Buck's hips moving back the tiniest bit and then sliding forward again.

Fuck was that all Bucky wanted? He could beg with the best of them. "Please fuck me. Want to feel you. Want to be sore tomorrow. Please?"

That seemed to have done it. The hand on his hip tightened and Bucky's hips began to rock, slow at first then gradually picking up speed. Any further requests were lost on his tongue as a soft moan slipped past his lips. It took no time at all for Bucky to set up a rhythm, the room filling with their panting breaths and the snap of Bucky's hips against him. He was distantly aware he was babbling, a constant stream of purred cussing intermingled with praises. 

He forced his eyes open. Buck's face was screwed with pleasure, mouth opened as he panted for air. "So fucking good Tony. So perfect."

He wasn't going to last long. The mental hand still stroked his cock in short demanding strokes. He titled his hips until the thick head hit his prostate with each thrust. The pressure built to pleasure. "Close, fuck, close." He groaned.

The metal hand tightened slightly and pleasure crested over him in waves. He twitched as a spurt of his cum caught him on the cheek. 

As soon as he could breathe he pulled his eyes open again. Buck's thrusts were losing coordination, becoming fast and rough. He let his head fall back into the bed focusing his incredibly limited mental function on using every trick in his arsenal to ensure Bucky had the most mind blowing orgasm of his life. If this was the only time he could talk the other man into fucking him he was going to make it count.

Bucky moaned as he tensed, the hands on his hips holding tight enough to bruise. With one final frantic thrust he felt Bucky's body shiver as he began to come. The metal hand left his hip to drop heavily into his chest as Bucky grounded himself as the waves of pleasure rolled over him.

He couldn't help but grin as he tensed and relaxed his muscles, milking Bucky's orgasm, keeping it going as long as possible. "Fucking hell Tony." Bucky panted as he finally started to come down.

"Yes dear?" He said with a smirk.

"Asshole." Bucky grumbled, leaning down to kiss him. He arched his back, careful to keep the other man seated within him if only for another few moments.

"Yes you seemed to quite like my asshole." He smirked as Bucky rolled his eyes. "We will need to get up and get clean in a moment." He said softly. 

Bucky nodded. "In a minute." Bucky echoed. The now warmed metal ran over his chest, tracing the scar leading down to the reactor. Slowly, almost cautiously, Bucky traced the outer rim of the housing. He tried to ignore the jump in his pulse. The other man had helped change it just hours before. If he wanted him dead there had been better times.

"Does it hurt?" Bucky asked softly.

"Sometimes more than others." He admitted. 

"Could you not have surgery? Take it out?"

He shook his head. "They removed bone and muscle when it was installed. Even if I could get the shrapnel out, get a pacemaker put in, the damage is done."

Bucky was slowly softening. They needed to get up. Bucky seemed to sense it too. "Should we…?"

"Yeah. Sadly. But come soaked sheets are no fun." Bucky snorted but slipped out before standing. He felt a strange swell of emotion in his chest but he tamped it down. Just because he hadn't been fucked in awhile was no reason to get caught in any feelings. 

They cleaned up as quickly as possible before returning to the warm bed. He curled up easily, the weight of the arm already threatening to pull him into sleep. He wasn't ready, not yet. He wanted to stay awake, just lie like this, if only for a moment. Still sleep pressed in on him and it was less than a minute before it overtook him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Bucky

The next two weeks settled into something of a rhythm. He'd wake up each morning, shower, shave, dress up and head down the private elevators to the loading dock. From there he circled the building to come in through the front doors and report to work. 

After work, back around the building, through the loading dock and upstairs to find Tony. Some days they would eat together and cuddle on the couch till bed. Other days they barely managed to get upstairs before they were all over one another. 

Some nights, like last night Tony couldn't be pulled away from his work. He'd return upstairs alone at the end of the night. Eat alone, watch TV alone, sleep alone. Waking up to an empty bed fucked up his whole morning. 

He stood glaring at the ceiling as the shower washed over him. He would be late if he didn't hurry but he struggled to find motivation to care. At any other point in his life he'd have killed for this job. He was making more than he'd made in his whole life at what had to be one of the easiest jobs he'd ever had. But instead of being happy he was pouting in the shower like a fucking child.

He turned the hot water off letting the icey cold pour over him. He was being stupid. He knew that but still. He towelled off and wandered into the kitchen in boxers. Jarvis had already got the coffee going. Who knew having an always present AI could be so amazing?

He grabbed an apple and a piece of toast before sitting at the bar a moment to eat. Last week, Tony had come to bed sporting a bruise that covered most of his chest. A few days ago he'd wandered up for dinner with a bag of ice on his shoulder. He couldn't help but feel worried for the man but Tony had insisted both times he was fine. He'd ended up fucking Tony the night he came up icing his shoulder so he must not have been that worried.

The suit Tony was making looked amazing, the pieces he'd seen. Tony said it was mostly done, that it was all down to calibrating now. 

He stood and rinsed his cup in the kitchen before going to the bedroom to dress. As perfectly as the suits fit it drove him nuts wearing them. He would be glad for that to end.

It was cool outside as he circled to the front of the building. "Morning Happy." He said easily as he stepped past the metal detector and towards the front desk.

"Morning." Happy always seemed in a good mood, even if he didn't really smile much. "You look beat."

_ He felt beat. _ He always struggled to sleep when Tony didn't come up to bed. He'd given up chastising himself about it. He knew he'd have to get used to it at some point but now wasn't that point. "Yeah you're looking great too." He grunted. 

He settled into one of the chairs. Happy was chatting with one of the other guards. He watched hundreds of men and women in business attire climb the stairs or stand, waiting on the elevator. The hustle of everyday work for them. He felt himself spacing out. It was most of what he did during the day, sitting and watching while his mind wandered. The guards were there if anything happened but nothing ever happened.

A hand clamped suddenly on his shoulder and he jolted back to himself. He looked up to see Happy who was forcibly turning him, pushing him towards the camera room. He went easily enough. "James is going to take over in here for awhile." Happy told the man who sat in front of the wall of monitors. 

The man shrugged. "Whatever. I'll go on break." 

Once they were alone he turned. "What the fuck Happy?" He hissed. 

"Stane is here." Happy pointed at a monitor. Sure enough Stane was passing through the metal detector on monitor 2. 

"Shit. I'll watch him." He said, dropping into the now empty seat. Stane had been absent from headquarters since his and Tony's arrival. As Stane stepped into the elevator he pulled out his phone and texted Tony but received no reply. Tony was busy and it wasn't like Stane was doing anything so far. He didn't call Tony. Not yet. 

Stane stepped into his office and sat at the desk. The camera faced into the open glass wall between the CEO reception desk and office so while he could see Stane sitting he couldn't see anything the man was doing.

"Jarvis?" He whispered into the room.

"Already on it sir." Jarvis voice came back from the speaker in the CCTV desk. "He appears to be calling for a press conference on the 17th."

"Of this month?!"

"Yes sir."

"But that's only two days away!" He said, more to himself. He needed to call Tony. 

Pulling out his phone he pulled up Tony's number and pressed the call button. It rang twice...three times…four… just when he was convinced it would go to voicemail he heard the call connect.

"Yeah?" Tony sounded out of breath.

"Tony? Is everything okay?" He couldn't stop the flush of concern in his chest.

"What? Yeah. Fine. What do you need?"

"Oh! Stane's back. He set up a press conference for two days from now."

"Right… Okay."

A strange twang echoed through the call followed by a tight curse. "Tony what's going on?" He asked, anxiety building. He recognized that noise. He couldn't place it could it made his heart hammer and the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

"I'll see you tonight." The line went dead. He began to call again when Jarvis spoke.

"I must ask you not to phone Mr. Stark again, for his safety."

_ His safety?  _ He stared down at the phone, his heart still pounding. Glancing to be sure Stane still sat at his desk he stood and left the room. "Happy. I'm not feeling well. I think I need a sick day."

Happy looked surprised before nodding. "Sure. Make sure to get a doctor's note when you come back okay?" He nodded, eyes on the other guard sitting on Happy's left who was watching him closely.

"Yeah." He managed before turning and walking out the front doors. The men working on the loading dock didn't question him as he slipped past them and onto the elevator. He practically buzzed with panic as the elevator snail crawled up to the shop.

The doors opened. "Tony?" He called as he stepped into the familiar floor. Except something was wrong. It was silent. Tony was nowhere to be seen. "Jarvis? Where's Tony?" His voice was laced with panic.

"I'm sorry sir. I'm unable to provide that information. Mr. Stark should be returning soon." 

_ Returning _ ?! His eyes searched the room. Not only was Tony gone by the suit was too. Where was he?

Hours crawled by like decades as he first paced the shop then finally dropped into the couch and watched the painstakingly slow progress of the sun. As the last traces of sun began to creep below the horizon the elevator doors opened. He lurched to his feet. Tony stepped out, his body covered by the red and gold suit.

He felt his panic wane. Of course Tony wouldn't leave without the armor. He was safe. He shouldn't have worri… But then his eyes settled in the chest of the armor. To the left of the reactor was a cluster of divots, bullets ricocheting off metal. The sound he'd heard on the phone… "Tony what the fuck!" He demanded. 

"Sorry to worry you dear. Just doing a little test flight." Tony said, the face mask opening.

"Test flight? Tony don't fuck with me those are  _ bullet holes _ . Where the fuck have you been?" He was shouting. He shouldn't be shouting at Tony but he couldn't stop. All the fear and anxiety seemed to be pouring out in one massive wave.

"Okay. You're right. More than a flight. There was a town, over in the Middle East. Ten rings used my weapons to lay siege to a town. No one was doing anything. People were dying. Had to help."

"You could have  _ told me!" _

"Would you have let me leave?" Tony said pointedly.

He opened his mouth, ready to say yes but couldn't. He snapped his mouth shut and took a slow breath. Tony was here. Tony was safe. "The conference. Will you be ready?" He asked instead.

Tony nodded. The soft whir of servos accompanied Tony's steps as the man slipped past him and into the shop. "Stay back." Tony warned. A moment later arms very reminiscent of Dum-E and U's appeared from the floor and ceiling. He watched in awe as they removed the armor and retracted away once more. "I'll need to repair the damage from today but I'll be ready."

He frowned watching Tony favoring his left arm. "What happened to your arm?" He asked.

Tony looked almost sheepish. "Anti-air fire. There was a tank."

"Fucking shit Tony. No more work tonight. Upstairs. Come on."

The fact Tony only huffed in protest told him it was definitely the right move. Once upstairs he guided Tony down the hall and into the bedroom, straight through to the master bath. He hesitated in front of the shower. Tony looked dead on his feet. A bath would be better but after seeing the ten rings footage he wasn't sure. "If I get in with you, think you'd be up to trying a bath?" He asked. Tony stilled, eyes on the tub. "We wouldn't have to get your face wet or anything"

Tony nodded, lips pressed together in a tight line. He turned on the tap, watching Tony behind him in the mirror. Once he'd adjusted the temperature he stood. Tony was wearing what looked like a wetsuit and he doubted the man was getting it off without help.

He reached out and cupped Tony's cheek in his hand before pulling the man into a long slow kiss. He felt some of the tension in Tony's body begin to relax. He moved behind Tony to unzip the back of the body suit. Carefully he helped ease it off, revealing a massive purple bruise taking up most of Tony's left side. "Jesus Tony." He breathed. Quickly he stripped off his own clothes and pulled Tony carefully closer, taking a moment to ground himself in the heat of Tonys skin and the counterpoint of cold where the reactor pressed into him.

He moved back to turn off the water then helped guide Tony to the sunken tub. He climbed in first then held a hand to help steady Tony. Tony hesitated before slowly stepping into the tub. Tony's eyes were wide and uncertain as he stood, water up to his knees in the tub. "I'll sit first okay?" He said. Tony nodded. He sat carefully into the tub. "Wherever you're ready Tony." He said, once he'd settled.

Tony reached down, gripping the edge of the tub tight enough to turn his knuckles white. Slowly Tony eased down into the water. Tony's wide eyes stared at the wall. He'd intentionally not filled the tub all the way. As soon as Tony sat fully the other man buried against him. Tony's nose tucked into his neck. He could feel Tony's breath tickling his hair. Gently and slowly he wrapped his arms around Tony, careful to avoid the bruise. He could feel Tony's heart hammering against his chest.

"Sir?" Jarvis spoke making them both jump.

"Yeah J?" Tony's voice was muffled in his neck.

"It appears you've already made the news, sir." Jarvis answered. 

Tony sat up enough he could see the frown on the man's face. "Show me J."

To his surprise the mirror flickered and a news feed began to play. "....standing with a woman who says her husband was saved by this unidentified weapon. Ma'am can you describe what happened?" 

The woman, hair and face streaked with mud, tears and what appeared to be blood, spoke "The ten rings attack our village. No one would help. They were taking the men and shooting them. Then out of the sky, an iron man, red and gold. He shoot the ten rings, save my husband and my son. He save us. Save us all." The woman dissolved into tears.

The feed cut back to the reporter. "Reports continue to pour in describing a metal suit the size and shape of a man that came from the sky. The only video feed of this supposed iron man was caught earlier today by one of our cameramen." The video on the screen was blurry but clearly showed Tony's suit blowing up a tank before taking off to the sky again. "We will continue to report as more information arises. Back to you in the station."

"Has Stane heard?" Tony asked, tucking back into his chest.

"Yes sir. Several news outlets have contacted Stane to ask if it was created by Stark Industries. Thus far Stane has denied any knowledge or involvement."

"Thanks J. Keep me posted." After a moment Tony spoke again. "Does have a nice ring though. 'Ironman.' Not technically accurate, that suit is not made of iron but it has some nice imagery."

He smirked, burying his nose in Tony's hair. He inhaled the smell of Tony's shampoo and aftershave and the faint whisper of scent that was 100% Tony. "You have to tell me next time." He said quietly. "I understand why you did it and I totally support it but I need to know."

Tony nodded. "Noted. I don't plan to fight anyone between now and the press conference."

Just two days. Then what? It felt like their time was running out far too quickly. He knew he didn't want it to end. Still, he'd have RJ back. Unless, of course, she didn't want to come with him. He had agreed with himself early on that her opinion would be a big factor. But now, the idea she could say no and he would return home completely alone terrified him. He pushed the thought away. "Sounds good Tony." He said, realizing he'd not actually answered yet. He ran a hand between them to press against Tony's hammering heart. "How you doing in the water so far?"

"Not as bad as I thought. If my face got wet that would be different but like this I'm okay." 

He nodded. Silence spread between them. He listened to the slow sound of Tony's breathing. He couldn't find a way to relax. The past two, almost three months had spread comfortably with no real set deadline. Now suddenly having an end in sight and so soon felt suffocating. After the fight what reason would Tony have to even keep him in the tower? He wouldn't need things to be slipped past the loading crew or security anymore. And that was his whole purpose for being there right? And Tony had money. He'd probably put him up in a fancy hotel for the day or weeks or months it took to figure out everything with RJ. Which meant he had tonight and tomorrow. That was it. He needed a distraction. He needed something else to think about.

"I want you to fuck me." The words slipped out before he had even really planned to speak. 

Tony leaned back, the soft brown eyes searching his. "Thought that wasn't something you ever wanted to try."

"Changed my mind." He managed lamely. 

Tony leaned in, hand slipping into his hair, as he pulled their lips together. He relaxed into the gentle kiss. It wasn't what he wanted, not really. He wanted fast and intense and distracting. But Tony seemed uninterested in trying to deepen the kiss.

When Tony leaned back he somehow felt simultaneously more relaxed and more frustrated. "Are you sure?" Tony's voice pulled him out of his head.

"Yeah. I'm sure." 

Tony stood, pulling him up by the hand as he went. Movement was better. Tony grabbed a towel before tossing a second at him. He dried quickly, not bothering with his hair. It would be a mess regardless if he tried to dry it or not.

He watched as Tony finished drying off, eyes tracking the smooth lines of the smaller man's body. In the back of his mind a voice whispered this could be the last time he'd have to really just look. He shook his head.

"Something is bothering you." Tony said it not as a question but he nodded regardless. "Want to talk about it?" He shook his head no. "So you're wanting to fuck till you forget?" He hesitated. If he said yes would Tony refuse. If he lied Tony would probably know. He nodded. Tony smirked. "Works for me." Tony moved to the door, pausing to look over his shoulder. "Coming?"

Well that could have gone worse. He followed Tony into the bedroom. Tony stood by the bed. As soon as he got close enough Tony shoved him back. He landed on his back on the mattress. With surprising speed Tony was straddling him. Tony's mouth crashed into his. All the slow gentle teasing was gone. He moaned into Tony's mouth as his tongue darted out.

Tony's hands roved over his chest, pinching and scratching and barely ghosting over his skin until he felt dizzy with the mix of sensation. One of Tony's hands pinched his nipple hard enough to hurt and he whimpered into Tony's lips. Tony's fingers soothed gently over the ache. His cock was already aching for any kind of contact and he thrust up into Tony to try to get some friction.

Tony kissed a fiery trail down his jaw. He felt Tony's mouth open against his neck moments before the sharp pinch of Tony's teeth. He was only distantly aware the keening whine came from his own mouth. Tony's tongue lapped at the bites, again soothing over the pain. Tony kissed down to his shoulder and sucked with enough force he would l was sure he'd have a bruise. Tony's fingers slid down his stomach to ghost teasingly over his cock, enough to feel but not enough. "Fuck Tony." He whimpered, flexing up into Tony's grasp.

Tony's mouth was on the move again, kissing and nipping across his chest. The flat of Tony's tongue licked over the connection between his metal arm and skin. He groaned as a shiver slid straight down his spine. He lost track of Tony's mouth as the man moved over a section of scarring too deep to feel, only for sensation to slowly return as Tony moved lower.

Tony's hand tightened around his cock, stroking him in time with the soft bites as Tony worked over his stomach. He was aware he should probably be doing something to reciprocate, something for Tony but the near constant assault on his senses kept him from moving more than to instinctively thrust into Tony's hand. It was also why it took him several moments to realize Tony had said something. "Hmmughh?" He managed as Tony licked the underside of his cock.

"I said roll over." Tony said with a smirk. "On your knees and get comfortable." His pulse jumped as he remembered the end result they were barreling towards, what he'd asked Tony to do. "Unless you've changed your mind which is totally fine." Tony added. He took a slow breath before rolling over and getting settled, ass in the air and his head resting in his arms. "Have you ever done anything like this at all? Dildo? Butt plug? Fingers?"

He could feel his ears go red. "No." He said into his arms.

"We will go slow then." Tony said. A moment later something tapped his asshole. Before he could think he was crawling up the bed. 

He could hear Tony laughing and gently guiding him back. "You're okay. You're okay. Just breath." He felt stupid for the extreme reaction. "Going slow I promise." Tony said dropping a kiss on his ass cheek before he felt the cool touch back on his asshole. He managed not to scramble up the bed this time.

Tony's finger rubbed gently around the rim of muscle. "It's going to feel weird, and your first instinct will be to clench down. Do you best to just relax. It gets easier to do." He heard the soft pop of the lube cap. When had Tony even had time to grab that? Then Tony's finger was back, still gently rubbing. 

He could feel his heart thundering in his chest. He forced himself to breath. Then the tip of Tony's finger edged past the ring of muscles. He barely managed not to jump away again. "Breathe." Tony said gently. He wasn't moving any deeper yet. It couldn't be more than the tip in him. 

He did as he was instructed, taking a long slow breath, then another. The finger moved but it was going out not in. Had he fucked up? Was Tony giving up on him? "Tony please don't stop. I didn't mean--"

"Shh." Tony's voice sounded soothing. "Not stopping, you didn't do anything wrong, just relax." 

He realized he'd clinched down as tightly as he could manage on the retreating digit. He slowly relaxed. The finger slipped completely out only to press back in again. It felt like it might have gone farther in that time. It was hard to tell past the pressure and the lightest whisper of a burn.

Slowly a rhythm started, Tony wasn't trying to go deeper. The strangeness seemed to be fading away. It didn't feel great, but it didn't hurt either. He wasn't sure how Tony really  _ enjoyed _ it. Still he was getting better at relaxing. 

"I'm going to go a bit deeper." Tony's voice was warm and calm. He nodded into his arms. Tony's finger slipped from him once more and he heard the pop of the lube again. "Relax." Tony reminded him as he jumped at the returning pressure. Tony's finger slipped in to the deepest point it had gone before then slowly pressed forward.

It wasn't any different than before, not really. Same strange fullness, same light burn, just deeper. "Almost all the way in." Tony said his voice husky in the quiet.

Was he? Somehow he'd expected more pain. It only made since that it should hurt. The light burn he was feeling was ignorable at worse. He jumped when Tony's free hand slipped between his legs to wrap around his cock. 

He'd been so focused on the finger slipping in he'd completely forgotten about getting off. His prick apparently had not. In spite of the uncertainty and strangeness it was rock hard and leaking onto the bed. 

He could feel Tony's hand bump against his ass. Tony's finger was as deep as it could be in him. He might have been able to think about it if Tony hadn't chosen that moment to begin stroking his cock. 

His muscles shivered as he fought to keep still as Tony set a punishing pace stroking his cock. "Just enjoy. Stop thinking so much." That he could do. He thrust forward into Tony's hand. He could feel the fullness ease as the movement caused Tony's finger to slip out some. 

Tony leaned forward and nipped his ass cheek. He couldn't help but laugh. God it felt good to laugh. Tony's fingers tightened around the base of his dick, squeezing lightly to ease off some of the quickly mounting pleasure. 

Inside him he could feel Tony's finger moving, twisting and gently curling. That definitely skirted into weird as fuck. He opened his mouth to ask what Tony was doing when his eyes snapped open. "Ffffuck." He groaned as his hips jerked forward, ass clenching to keep Tony's fingers from moving.

"There it is." Tony's voice was warm. 

"Fuck Tony. Wha--" his words cut off in a groan as Tony did whatever he was doing a second time.

"So this," Tony hit the same spot again. "Is your prostate." He could feel Tony's fingers moving again, hitting the spot again. His heart hammered in his chest. "It takes some work, but I could make you come, just like this, with nothing touching your cock. Just drive you crazy until you couldn't hold back…. But I did promise to fuck you. Maybe next time."

Somewhere distantly he could feel his mind latch on to  _ next time.  _ Would there  **be** a next time? But then Tony's finger was back at his prostate and all logical thought was chased away.

"Going to add another finger now. This may burn some at first but that fades away over time." He nodded.

The telltale pop of the lube was followed by Tony's finger slipping free from his body. It was strange how empty he felt. He managed to stay completely still and relaxed as he felt Tony's fingers return. Fuck Tony hadn't been kidding about he burn. It didn't hurt, not really, but it wasn't really very pleasant either. 

Tony didn't stop part way this time. The fingers pressed the whole way in before stilling. He pulled in several long slow breaths. He was surprised how quickly the burn began to fade. "Ready?" Tony asked. He nodded. He wasn't sure exactly what Tony meant but he was definitely ready for something besides the stillness.

Tony pulled the fingers back and then in again. Slowly Tony's fingers sped up. Every three or four strokes Tony would curl his fingers to brush over his prostate drawing a moan from his lips.

When Tony began to scissor his fingers apart the burn returned but the added width meant Tony hit his prostate on almost every stroke. By the time Tony's fingers stilled in him he was covered in a thin layer of sweat. His heart pounded and his thighs felt weak from flexing to keep him still. "Some people prefer to do a third finger first, and it definitely cuts down on the burn but I feel like it's hard to cluster your fingers together in a way that isn't risking scratching anything internal so I prefer not to." Tony's fingers spread apart then closed together again. "But it's up to you."

He shook his head, not entirely sure he could form words, let alone sentences but apparently that wasn't enough. Tony's fingers remained still within him.

"Whatever...you...think's..best." he panted. 

"On your back." Tony said, patting his hip gently. He all but flopped onto his side. Tony chuckled softly. 

He rolled onto his back and dropped an arm over his eyes. How much more would it burn? Tony's fingers had felt fucking huge and he knew how much bigger Tony was. What if it didn't even fit and they had done all that prep for nothing? He-- "Fuck Tony!" Tony's lips had wrapped around his cock. He couldn't have stopped himself thrusting up into the welcoming warmth of Tony's mouth if he wanted. Tony's fingers were back on his nipples, twisting and pulling as Tony's tongue all but assaulted his dick.

When Tony pulled off his cock with a filthy pop, his head spun. Tony's hands slipped under his legs, lifting his hips up off the bed. He could feel the blunt head of Tony's cock brush against him. He shivered and tried to remember to stay relaxed. For a moment he felt pressure but Tony didn't slide in. What if his worries were founded? What if he couldn't fit?

Then Tony shifted the angle slightly and he slipped in. The burn was immediate. He groaned as pain whispered just under the surface. "Do you want me to go all the way in, like I did with both fingers or go slow like I did with one?"

"Don't stop." He whispered. The burn had been shorter that way. 

Tony groaned softly before easing forward. The pressure, the complete fullness, expanded as Tony pressed in. It felt like an eternity as Tony eased in. Finally Tony stilled. He could feel the warmth of Tony's skin pressing against his ass. The burn was already subsiding, leaving the almost overwhelming pressure in its wake.

Tony's fingers ran feather light over his stomach and chest as he slowly adjusted. He let his arm drop eyes moving to rest on Tony's face. The brown of his eyes was almost totally hidden by his lust blown pupils. The steady glow of the reactor lit the otherwise dark room. 

Bracing his metal arm on the bed he pushed up. The change in angle felt indescribably strange but didn't stop him from pulling Tony into a kiss, one Tony returned easily.

He let himself drop back to the bed. "Ready?" Tony asked.

Instead of answering, he clamped his ass around Tony's cock the way Tony had to him two weeks before. Tony's eyes rolled with pleasure and a low moan slipped through the other man's lips. "Ass." Tony practically purred. 

"Yeah I'm ready." He said with a smirk.

The first few thrusts didn't feel like much other than the lack of fullness followed by the return of fullness. Tony's hands shifted on his thighs, lifting his ass. It felt strange, almost like Tony was trying to fold him in half but before he could comment Tony's cock hit his prostate. He slammed his head back into the pillows. 

Without thinking about it his hand closed around his cock. "Fuuckk." He groaned as Tony caught his prostate again and his cock jerked hard in his hand. How was he already so close? "Not gonna last long." He warned.

Tony smirked. "That's okay babe. You're too fucking hot, I'm close too."

"Please. Faster? Please." He heard himself begging. He should stop. Should be embarrassed but he was so close, already right on the edge. 

Tony's hands tightened as he slammed in with enough force to rock the bed and he let his head fall back again. The counterpoints of pleasure between his hand and his prostate were driving him on faster than he'd felt before. It built to a razor's edge and for a moment he seemed to pause there, hovering at the edge. Then Tony's cock ground over his prostate and he was falling. Distantly he was aware he was making sound but everything felt muted as pleasure unlike anything he'd felt before rolled over him.

He heard Tony follow a lifetime, or maybe just a moment, after. Felt the warmth as Tony spilled inside him. He wasn't sure how long he floated, too wrung out to think, let alone move.

Slowly his senses started to slot back into place. Tony still hovered above him, a hand splayed across his stomach as they both panted. Tony's eyes watched him. He managed what was probably a very dopey smile but Tony smiled back. 

"I l--" he snapped his mouth shut on word, his heart hammering. Thankfully based in Tony's lack of reaction he hadn't gathered what he'd been about to say. I love you? Fucking really? He pushed the words back. 

Tony seemed more amused than concerned when he didn't finish talking. Tony patted his arm. "Just breathe before you try talking." He said, smirking.

He nodded, taking the moment to close his eyes and breathe. He really thought he was past the point in his life were a really good orgasm caused him to say stupid shit like that. He shook his head again. "Tha' was amazing." He said instead.

Tony chuckled. "Good. Didn't want to be losing my touch." He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. Tony leaned back with a groan. He'd leaned into the come still coating his chest. "Shower. Come on." Tony slid out of him and helped him stand.

He stood unsteadily. His ass was sore but honestly it wasn't as bad as he'd expected. More of a dull ache than anything substantial. Tony stayed next to him as he walked into the bathroom. Tony started the shower nice and hot. It felt like heaven.

Between the heat of the shower, the stress of the day, and the intensity of the sex he felt completely drained. As soon as he and Tony were clean and dry he stumbled back into the bedroom and under the covers. Tony slid in behind him, and Tony's arm slipped around his waist. They had never slept like that, he'd always kept an arm around Tony but today it felt surprisingly comforting.

"Sweet dreams." He mumbled as Tony kissed his shoulder.

"Sweet dreams." He heard Tony answer as sleep folded over him and he drifted into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are ready for a nice long chapter! Planning to post again Wednesday. My kitty is getting fixed so I'll be spending the day cuddling her poor still slightly drugged self.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Bucky (cont)

He leaned back against the shop bench, watching as Tony put the final touches on the suit. He tried to ignore the anxiety as it built in his chest. Today was the press release. Stane had chosen to use the Stark Expo pavilion which according to Tony was some kind of a jab at him and Howard though Tony haven't exactly explained it very well.

The suit looked like it was back to perfect condition. No longer were any bullet dents visible in the chest and the chip that the tank had taken out of the left arm was now fully repaired.

Tony too looked well on his way to healing, the previously purple bruise had already lightened significantly and was mainly green with a few yellowing patches. He insisted that it was proof of his theory about his dad, bruised normally took weeks not days to heal, but Tony waved him off.

"So," he said more to fill the quiet than because he really needs to go over it again, "I'll be there about two hours early. I'll tell the guy in the audio both I'll be guarding him then wait for your signal. Once I get it, ask the audio guy to leave, make him leave it needed then plug this in." He held up the USB Tony had given him.

"You've got it." Tony said without looking up. 

His main job of the night was to make sure that Tony had the ability to be heard without a microphone. If no one could hear him then it wouldn't matter if he showed up there or anywhere else. The world needed to know the truth, preferably before Stane attacked him.

A chirp in his ear made him jump. "Mic check, sound off." He heard Happy say into his earpiece One by one he heard each of the security personnel for the night sounding off, a systems check.

When it was his turn he pressed the button and said "Ready." Letting his hand drop he turned to Tony. "I guess I'll see you after this is over?" He asked. Neither of them had spoken on what would happen after. He waited for Tony's reply but as the moment of silence grew longer a feeling of dread began to build.

Tony slipped out from under where he'd been working inside the chest piece of the armor. "Of course? Why wouldn't you see me?" Tony asked, wiping his fingers on a shop towel. 

He shrugged. If Tony hadn't considered things would change after today he sure as fuck wasn't going to bring it up. "Just… Be careful today Tony." He said quietly, pulling the smaller man into a hug.

"Right, safe. I'll try to think of that when Obie starts shooting." Tony said sarcastically. Then after a moment, "you be safe too." 

"I'll make sure the one poor asshole in the audio booth doesn't get the drop on me." He said easily. He didn't want to let Tony go, didn't want the hug to end. The uncertainty ate away at him. Still, this had been the plan all along, the end of it. He let his arms drop and before he could think too hard on it pulled Tony into a long gentle kiss. 

Tony as always willingly returned the affection. But it didn't mean anything. Tony would be affectionate with anyone. "Let's load up." Happy spoke over the coms. He had to leave. Reluctantly he released Tony and crossed to the elevator. 

His metal hand remained wrapped tightly around the flash drive as he rode the elevator down to the garage and joined the other security in the transportation. He listened and occasionally joined in the conversation with the men and women he'd unwittingly became friends with over the last few weeks. That would end soon too. He still had Carlos back home. Still even that felt distant and pale in comparison to everything he'd gained. He let his head rest back in the headrest as he stared out the window.

The expo building turned out to be massive. The hall they were in was 3 stories and it took almost an hour to tour just the areas they would be guarding. There was a different company handling the civilians and press which was a relief. They would be spread pretty thin as it was. "Mr. Stane is not expecting any issues tonight so we are running a skeleton crew." Happy said as they stood backstage. "That means some of you will have more than one area to watch. Stay on coms, stay in your area and stay on your toes and tonight should go smoothly."

Happy and Tony had spent over an hour last night finding the best places for each guard. Tony's plan was to get Obie to turn away from the crowd, keep him firing into the building. "People are going to run. It's instinct when bullets start going. I will keep Obie firing at me, away from the civilians as long as possible but first priority is getting them out. If we destroy that building that's fine but I don't want anyone innocent getting killed." 

He watched as Happy assigned locations based on the blueprints he and Tony had set last night. When Happy sent him to the audio booth he nodded easily and left. There were elevators to the third floor where he'd have a birds eye view of the night but he took the stairs. The movement helped soothe his racing mind.

The audio tech was already in the booth when he got there. A younger man, probably late teens to early twenties with blonde hair and brown eyes who introduced himself as Jeremy. "Do they normally have a guard up here?" Jeremy asked as he dropped heavily back into the chair.

"Not always but it gives a clear view to help coordinate from." Then into the headset, "In position."

Jeremy spent another 15 minutes to set up everything then leaned back to play on his phone. About an hour before the presentation started Stane took the stage for a mic and lighting check. He wasn't in the armor yet. Maybe it wasn't even working yet and they'd jumped the gun. It would mean Tony would be safe at least. Jeremy had very little to do in getting the adjustments together before he was back to his phone.

Once Stane left the stage the press began to taper in. He watched as they took their places, many speaking into their cameras even though it was another 30 minutes till anything was scheduled. 

As the doors were opened to civilians his heart began to pound. The plan continued to loop through his mind, blocking out anything else. It had to work. That was the only chance they had. Thankfully it looked like they were only filling the first two floors instead of all three. That would make evacuation easier.

"Good evening everyone." His eyes snapped to the stage but it was empty, just a recording. It wasn't Obie, not yet. "If you could please take your seats we will be beginning soon."

He closed his eyes and took a long breath. "Stane moving into position." He heard Happy speak in the headset.

A video began to play on the stage. He watched the footage without really hearing it. Stark Industries propaganda. He'd seen it before. But then he heard Tony's name. His eyes jumped to the screen. It was a video memorial. He had to fight not to snort. Everyone here was in for a fucking shock.

"Stane, stage left, ready." Happy said again.

He closed his eyes, hoping against hope that Stane would walk out in a tux rather than a suit of armor. Then Tony wouldn't have to fight. Movement on stage made him jump. A man was walking across it in a full suit. Not Obie. Not armor. "Good evening everyone! Thank you all for coming to this exciting reveal for Stark Industries!"

Announcer. He closed his eyes, only half listening to the words as the other man spoke. A low thud, followed by another, echoed through the room. A collective gasp drew his eyes back to the stage. Stane, or someone he assumed was Stane, was moving across the stage. 

Stane's armor couldn't be more different than Tony's. Where Tony's suit was roughly the same size and shape as a person, Stane's suit was massive. The sleek lines of Tony's armor were sharply contrasted by massive metal plates and exposed hydraulics in Stane's. He watched as the stage seemed to shake slightly with each step of the massive armor. Also very visible in Stane's gunmetal grey suit were at least 3 types of weapons. Stane's suit opened. From the angle he was at it was hard to see if Stane stood or sat in the massive armor.

He tapped the headset three times. With a soft beep then a pause. Three beeps. Tony was ready.

"Jeremy." He said, trying to push every feeling of control he didn't feel into his voice. "There has been a security breach. I need you to evacuate immediately."

Jeremy's eyes went wide. "What about…?" He glanced over the full room. 

"We will take care of them. Go. Now."

Jeremy leaped up and took off. He locked the sound box behind the retreating man then crossed to the computer and plugged in the drive. For a second nothing happened. His heart froze. But then a familiar voice spoke from the soundboard. "Upload complete. Beginning takeover subroot." 

"Fuck its good to hear your voice J." He said softly.

"Possible security breach." Happy was speaking in his ear. "Keep Stane on the stage and do not interrupt until we can investigate."

Then with a soft pop and a flicker the screen behind Obie changed. Gone was the Stark Industries logo and in its place the terrorist message, translating for the whole crowd to hear. He expected Stane to panic but the man stood firm and unyielding as the terrorist's message played behind him. 

"Slider 4 max volume." J spoke. He leaned over and followed instructions. 

"Mr. Stane!" A single reporter called from the crowd. "Is that video true? Did you pay to have Tony Stark killed?"

"Yeah Obie." Tony's voice reverberated around the room as Tony flew in, suit gleaming in the light, before landing on the stage. The face mask of Tony's suit opened so everyone there could see his face. "Why don't you tell them about trying to have me killed in Afghanistan. Or, how when that didn't work, you had me kidnapped and sold to the highest bidder? What's the matter Obie? Bet you didn't think that I'd come back to life." Tony turned to grin at the man.

Stane's face was red with anger. "I should have killed you when I had the chance." The man hissed before the massive armor closed around him. Tony's face mask snapped shut and he took off, turning Obie away from the people watching. The first shots rang out, bouncing off Tony's armor. 

The crowd launched into movement as a collective group. Screams issued as everyone ran. "Everyone assist with evacuations. Tony will keep the gun fire off us as long as possible. Priority focus on those either unable to evacuate or injured. Go!" Happy shouted in the comms over the din. 

He didn't move, wasn't supposed to move. His job to provide anything Tony needed. Facing the room of escaping crowds Tony couldn't fire any weapons until things are clear. That meant he could only evade. The massive size of Stane's armor was playing in Stane's favor. 

Tony was yanked out of the sky and slammed into the ground. Before Tony could get up, Stane was standing on his suit, pressing him into the floor with one massive foot. A flash from Tony's reactor sent Stane stumbling back, giving Tony the time to get in the air again. 

A missile from Stane’s shoulder hit Tony in the chest. His heart stopped as Tony crashed backwards through the concrete wall behind the stage and out of sight. Stane followed through the wall. "Does anyone have eyes on Stark?" He called into the headset. No answer came. He stood, leaning over the soundboard, watching and waiting for any signs the fight continued but none came. 

He rushed to the door, frantically unlocked it and ran down the stairs three at a time. When he reached the second floor he found people still evacuating. He struggled to press down the stairs but there was no way to get past the mass of bodies. He glanced over the railing. It was straight down to the first floor. He'd be no good to anyone with a broken leg. Fuck!

He thought maybe, over the screams and yelling that he heard the reactor pop but he couldn't be sure. He'd managed to get down all of three steps. He couldn't wait till the crowd moved. Grabbing the stair rail with his metal hand he jumped over the railing. His eyes searched wildly for anything to catch on the way down. There was nothing. He closed his eyes and dropped. 

The sensation of falling was terrible. The only redemption is it lasted all of a moment before he was hitting the floor hard. The impact knocked his legs from under him and he went sprawling but nothing broke. Everything hurt, but nothing broke. He stood and ran for the doors into the expo hall. 

People buffeted him on both sides as he forced his way past them. The hall was almost completely empty now. Finally free of the crowd he ran up the stairs and past the stage doors. His stomach clenched. The whole back wall of the building had been blown out. Laying in the lot behind the building were both Tony and Stane's suits.

He sprinted to Tony. His helmet was off, crumpled into a ball of metal a few feet away. He had a massive gash across his face and eye which was bleeding profusely. The reactor popped and flickered dimly in his chest. "Tony!" He called. Tony jumped, as if ready to fight. "It's me Tony. It's me. Fuck are you okay? We need to get you to the hospital."

Tony coughed and a trickle of blood slipped past his lips and dripped down his chin. "No. No hospital. SI… Doctors there… No hospital."

"Tony wha--" but Tony's eyes rolled into his head and his body went slack.

"I need a medivac now! Stark's down! I repeat Stark's down!" 

As he waited next to Tony time seemed to slow. Every wet breath the man took sounding like a death rattle in his ears. He kept his hand on Tony's stuttering pulse, ready to CPR if it stopped. He hadn't even considered the sound of the ambulance. He heard it coming just as he felt the air leave his lungs. He forced himself to breath, eyes unblinking at Tony's bloody face. 

An EMT shoved past him. Someone was yelling. The suit opened, revealing Tony's frail limp body. Then he heard clearly through the fog, Jarvis' voice. "Sergeant Barnes is to accompany Mr. Stark back to the emergency services at Stark Industries where medical staff are waiting."

Someone was speaking but he couldn't hear it over the blood pounding in his ears. A hand pulled him roughly into the ambulance. He was guided into a chair tucked in the corner. He watched the reactor as it continued to flicker. He couldn't blink or the memories would catch him. He had to focus. Had to focus. He felt sick. He swallowed hard, desperate to keep himself from throwing up. They would stop helping Tony if they thought he needed help too. He had to focus.

The ambulance bounced and rocked as they darted through the city. The siren seemed to echo in his mind. His arm hurt. He was distantly aware he was cradling where his shoulder an arm met. The chill of the metal reminding him where he was, what was happening. And then all at once everyone was moving again. He was being pulled along through an entrance to SI he'd never been in and up a massive elevator. New hands grabbed him, guiding him to a chair. At some point someone brought him water. Tony was gone, they took him somewhere. He tried to stand, tried to find him but hands guided him back to the chair. After the fourth attempt someone spoke to him gently and after that he stopped trying to search. Surgery. Tony was in surgery.

A hand clapped his shoulder and he jumped. Happy stood next to him, he had a small cut on his chin and was covered in dust and grime. "How is he?" Happy asked.

"In surgery." He answered weakly. That's all they would tell him. He's in surgery. 

"Stane's alive but just barely. Hospital across town is treating him then he will go straight into police custody." He nodded.

"Why don't you go upstairs, get cleaned up. Jarvis can let you know about any changes." He glanced down at himself. His clothes were torn, and Tony's blood had dried on the jacket sleeve. He pulled the jacket off and tossed it aside.

Happy pulled a chair over and sat next to him. It must have taken hours before someone finally approached them. "The surgery was successful. We were able to remove all the shrapnel from his stomach, and leg. He managed to escape with only minor internal injuries."

He was going to be okay. Relief spread through him. Tony was not awake when they moved him into the room. Happy stayed for a while before leaving. 

When he'd first been informed Tony's wish to be treated in house would be honored, he was sceptical. Tony's injuries were far from minor. He needed a hospital not some office nurse. He couldn't deny however that the team worked with incredible speed and efficiency.

Word of Tony's 'impossible return' spread like wildfire and it quickly became apparent why Tony had insisted on returning in the tower. Swarms of reporters descended on the tower less than an hour after Tony was moved to a room. News vans and reporters blocked traffic to report at Stark Industries front door. News anchors stood rooted in front of the cameras, desperate for a quote or some video of Tony. He could see them in the street from Tony's recovery room. It took another 30 minutes for the police to arrive, driving back the press until they no longer blocked the streets. 

He sat in the chair next to Tony's bed. The beep and whir of the machines seemed to drill into his mind. Anxiety made his heart hammer and his breath tight. He forced himself to focus on Tony. He wasn't going to no matter how morbidly familiar the machines were.

"Mr. Barnes?" A voice jerked him out of his thoughts. One of the doctors stood just inside the doorway. He could feel her eyes glancing him over. 

"Ma'am?" He stood too. 

"New information provided by Jarvis suggests that the…" she paused to look at the clipboard in her hands "reactor in Mr. Stark's chest is dramatically weaker than normal. Jarvis also said you had experience in changing the device."

"Yes ma'am." He had experience, if that's what they really wanted to call it.

"We would like to request your assistance in replacing the reactor. Jarvis says there is a replacement in Mr. Stark's private R&D floors and that you are also the only one with the clearance to access those floors."

"Yes ma'am. Tony made an extra. Look, why don't we just wait till he wakes up? Then we can have him assist you in the replacement."

"May I speak plainly with you, Mr. Barnes?" She asked, lowering the clipboard to look squarely at him.

"I, yeah, yes ma'am."

"Without this replacement, the chances of Mr. Stark ever waking up are very low."

His chest tightened. But the surgery was a success. The surgeon had said the injuries weren't that bad. "How low?" 

"Current tests from Jarvis point to less than 5%."

For a split second he was sure he would throw up. The room spun, and he almost needed to reach for the wall for support. Closing his eyes he asked, "And with the replacement?"

"Until it's in we won't know for sure but conservatively 55%?"

That couldn't be right. It wasn't high enough. He looked back at Tony. The injuries stood out in sharp relief against his pale skin. His eyes glanced at the scans. He knew they were low, he could remember his own 'normal' numbers well enough but he didn't think it was that bad. He turned his attention back to the doctor. "Okay, I'll help. Can, would you just stay with him. I'll go get it."

He slipped down the hall to the elevator which waited open for him. He leaned back against the wall his heart hammering. He could feel his eyes burning. How could this have happened? If the surgery went well and the internal injuries weren't that bad how was there such a low chance he would wake up? 

When the door opened to the shop he stripped off his button up, leaving only his undershirt. Moving to the sink he washed his hands clean before moving to the bench where the replacement reactor sat glowing steadily. He picked it up and ran back to the elevator. It seemed to take a lifetime for the doors to open again. 

"You need to leave." He told her. If Tony woke up, no  _ when _ Tony woke up if he found out someone else knew about how to change the reactor.

"Mr. Barnes-" the doctor started.

"No. Leave. Then I will change it."

The women fixed him with a long stare before stepping out and closing the door. With shaking hands he removed the flickering reactor. Tony's blood had dried on the inner side and it made his stomach clench. Carefully he reached in and pulled the plug. The steady beeping next to him stopped. Quickly he reached in and tried to line the plug. Every second his shaking hands fumbled felt like a moment he was personally killing Tony.

Tony's body twitched reflexively as the new reactor finally clicked into place. The machine began to beep again. He tucked the dying reactor into his jacket before opening the door for the doctor. She gave him a less than pleased look before pushing past to check in Tony.

The sun slowly set outside the windows. The news vans remained, lights shining on their reporters who stood waiting for something that may never come. He turned to look back at Tony. The reactor now glowed solidly in his chest and the night doctor said his vitals looked 'promising'. What was he supposed to do if Tony died? 

Logically of course, return back to California. Tony may have something in place to help with RJ, maybe not but the money he'd been paid to be security was more than enough to be set up for awhile. But the idea of Tony being going, really gone.

His hand slipped across the sheets to hold Tony's. It felt warm at least. That had to be good right? Somewhere deep in chest realization began to spread. He was in love with Tony. Not just because they'd fucked. He was in love with everything about Tony. His mind, his wit, his dry humor, the way being with him made him feel. All of it. Fuck.

Tony's fingers twitched in his hand. His heart jumped and his eyes snapped to Tony's face but there was no change. He let his head drop into the sheets.

Four days later and the press still clawed at the doors. Footage of the terrorist tape as well as Tony's own accusations against Stane were the only thing any tv or radio station would talk about. 

Tony's vitals continued to improve but he still hadn't come out of the coma. He'd left for the first time yesterday long enough to wash and change. Happy and the well meaning nurses kept bringing him food but he couldn't eat. His stomach remained tied up in knots. He spent most of his time sitting and holding Tony's hand, feeling occasional gentle twitch of his fingers. His back was in knots from laying half hunched over on the bed at night.

They'd been able to take Tony off the ventilator that morning which was a relief. They insisted it meant Tony was making vast improvements but without so much as a flicker of Tony's eyelids he couldn't find a reason to celebrate. He was resting with his head on the bed when one of the many doctors knocked then opened the door. 

This doctor was a middle aged man with brown hair that had begun to show the beginnings of greying. "You need to eat something." The doctor said, looking up from Tony's vitals. "Starving yourself will not bring him out of the coma any quicker."

He ignored him, not even remotely interested in explaining how or why worry kept him on the edge of vomiting. As the doctor turned to leave Tony's eyes snapped open. "Jarvi--" Tony rasped before breaking off into a fit of weak coughing.

"You are safe at Stark Industries headquarters sir." Jarvis spoke calmly from the ceiling. 

Tony's head dropped heavily back to his pillow. Before he had a moment to speak to Tony the doctors descended on his bed. For the next hour and a half the doctors poked, prodded, and questioned. After a long drink of water, Tony answered them all in stride, laughing, and joking. Tony seemed to know many of the doctors personally and asked about their families and their lives as well as a few questions about Stark Industries as a whole but the doctors discouraged him talking about work.

He leaned back and watched. He couldn't stop himself from smiling. Not only was Tony awake but he seemed very much himself. He let his eyes close as he listened to the rich laughter in Tony's voice. Things were going to be okay. He pulled in a long breath, feeling some of the tightness in his chest ease. It was going to be okay.

Slowly Tony's playfulness receded. His answers grew shorter, tighter. His eyes drooped tiredly. Thankfully the one remaining doctor seemed to take notice. "One last test Mr. Stark and then you can get some rest."

He saw the edges of Tony's mouth tip up in a tired smile. "What makes you think I'd sleep? I never sleep." He snorted as the doctor chuckled. Soon the doctors would leave and they could talk a bit before Tony fell back asleep. A light knock on the door pulled all eyes in the room to it. "It's open...I think." Tony called at the door.

It slipped open and a beautiful petite woman with bright red hair stepped in. He had about half a moment to recognize the pale skin and sharp blue eyes before the woman spoke. "Oh my God, Tony!" She crossed to the bed. She reached out a trembling hand to caress Tony's cheek, careful to avoid the still healing cut.

Tony stammered, "Pppep?" Tony's hand caught hers, holding it to his cheek, eyes still locked on Pepper's face.

"I'll leave you two for awhile. Call me if anything changes." The doctor said to the room at large before slipping out of the room.

A lead weight seemed to drop in his stomach. He watched silently as Tony scooted over enough to let her sit gingerly on the bed, mindful of the various leads that still linked him to the machines. He curled into her side, head resting on her shoulder, both arms wrapped around her waist as best as he could manage. She ran a hand through his hair and kissed his forehead.

Before he was even fully aware of the decision he was slipping silently from the small room. He crossed to the elevator which opened as he reached it. "Sir?" Jarvis asked. For the first time since his arrival Jarvis didn't just  _ know _ the right floor. "The room." He said not even sure what to call it. 

Tony had talked only briefly about Pepper, how he'd given her the nickname, he hadn't even considered that they would have been a couple. He stopped, half off the elevator. On the way to New York Tony had given him an address of a safe house. One off the books that he and Pepper had. Of course they had been together. Tony wouldn't have worded it like that otherwise.

And Tony would have been fine to get with him since he thought Pepper was dead but now that she wasn't. He slunk over to the massive bar, for the first time since his arrival checking the labels. He'd tried none of it before. It was probably expensive too. He settled on a beer since he'd at least heard of the brand and dropped heavily to the sofa.

He felt more things than he could even begin to name. Anger, sadness, pain, jealousy, emptiness the list stretched on. He popped the cap off the beer with his metal thumb and downed most of the bottle in one. His food deprived stomach churned threatening to send it right back up.

He should get his stuff, leave. Tony would want to spend time with his…what? Girlfriend? Wife? Had there ever been a wedding? He would have seen that right? The news would have had a field day. Even as much as he tried to ignore Tony in the past he would have surely seen that. 

He polished off the bottle and stood, fully intending to pack but his eyes were drawn inexplicably to the window he'd avoided looking at all this time. He crossed to it, hesitantly bringing his hand to the cool glass. If he looked out, not down, it really was a nice view. The sound of the elevator doors opening made him jump.

He turned to see Pepper stepping out of the elevator. He'd lingered too long. He needed to go. "Oh, sorry. I was just about to get my stuff." He said lamely. Pepper frowned. Had he made her mad staying this long? 

"Why are you...Tony is looking for you. He asked me to come find you. Why are you getting your stuff?" 

"I just figured you two’d want your space." He felt strangely defensive, the anger and jealousy clawing up in his chest. He'd saved Tony, spent months with him, helping him get better and make the suit and now she just got to waltz back in and pick up where he'd left off. It wasn't right.

But then it didn't matter really. Not if Tony wanted her back. Any feelings he had didn't matter if they weren't reciprocated. He'd seen the look in Tony's eyes when he'd seen her. He wasn't stupid.

"This is Tony's space, not mine."

Anger rolled in him. Did the fucking semantics even matter? It didn't matter if it was Tony that owned it, he would want to be there with her. He stalked down the hallway, uninterested in arguing. "James." She called after him. 

He ignored her, walking into the bedroom to begin to grab up his things. "James please, listen. I think you might have the wrong idea."

"I don't want to listen to anything you have to say." He snapped, grabbing his shirt off the floor and adding it to the growing pile on the bed. He reached moved to grab his bag from the corner but Pepper blocked him.

"Tony and I are not together." She said, her eyes catching his, face firm and set. He stilled, confusion spreading.

"I'm not fucking blind. I saw you two on the bed. I saw how he looked at you." His anger was boiling off, pain and sadness surfacing in his wake.

"Tony and I love each other very much but just as friends. I can't handle him. I can barely keep up with him as my boss. We aren't dating. We aren't together. Period."

He stared at her, momentarily too stunned to speak. "But you...in..you were holding him." He said, unable to keep the accusation out of his tone.

Her face softened. "If you've spent half the time with Tony he says you have you know he's a very tactile person. He and I cuddle sometimes, especially when he's coming off a hangover or he’s depressed but it's platonic. We haven't ever had sex and that is never changing. Now will you please go see him? He thought you were just going for a drink but when Jarvis said you were up here he tried to get out of bed to come up here too. I’m not sure how long he is going to wait."

He crossed the room. The sharp tick of Pepper's heels followed close behind. "I'm sorry." He said quietly when Jarvis closed the elevator doors. "I shouldn't have assumed--"

She waved him off. "Not the first. Not the last." She said with a smile.

The door to Tony's room was cracked open. Tony's room was empty save for Tony, thankfully still laying in bed, looking like he was on the edge of sleep. His eyes snapped open when the door closed behind them. Tony smiled weakly at him. "Hey Buck." 

"Hey Tony. Sorry for taking off like that. Figured you two could use your space." Tony's hand, the one he'd held for the last several days, reached out heavily. He moved back to his chair and sat, wrapping both hands around Tony's. "I'll be here when you wake up. Get some more rest okay?"

Tony nodded weakly and his eyes drifted closed.

He watched as Tony's breathing evened out. He let his own eyes close. He leaned back in the chair, keeping his hands on Tony's. He realized he was occupying the only chair in the room and he should definitely give it to Pepper but he also didn't want to wake Tony up by moving. 

A light knock on the door brought his head back up. Who the fuck was it now? Happy stood in the doorway. "Happy!" Pepper whispered crossing the room to hug the man. 

"Pepper." Happy smiled, hugging her back. "Jarvis said you were here but I thought maybe he was malfunctioning. Let me grab some chairs."

"You might grab three. Colonel Rhodes will be here soon." 

Happy returned a few minutes later carefully passing a chair to Pepper before carrying in two more and closing the door. He watched Tony's face as the chairs were moved and sat along the wall but Tony was completely out.

"So what happened?" Happy whispered to Pepper as he sat in one of the chairs. "Where have you been?"

Pepper settled neatly into her own chair and spoke in a hushed voice. "After Tony disappeared, I just kept the company going, ready to start again with a new CEO when the time came. But about three days after Tony went missing, I needed something off Obiadiah's computer. I found the message, the one they are showing on the news. I closed it out and Jarvis cleared my login but I think Obiadiah still knew. Then Colonel Rhodes calls me and tells me there is a plane coming for me and to go to the airport. He'd been in hiding since the attack on Tony. He helped fake my death and we stayed in a safe house in Afghanistan for a few weeks. Once Jarvis said it was clear, we came back and have been living at the Malibu house since. When the news broke a few days ago we got ready and flew here."

"I thought they had the Malibu house under surveillance?" Happy asked.

"They did. We were able to create a distraction and slip by. It wasn't easy but we were hoping Tony was still there. He said Stane had him kidnapped?"

"That's how we met." He said softly. He hadn't planned to volunteer but better to hear it from him. "I worked at the auction house transporting art and things. They had Tony in a steamer chest thing. They were acting really strange about it so I opened it. I'm glad I did. I took Tony back to my place. When it was safe, we came out here and have been living in the tower since." A thought popped into his mind. "Dum-E was beeping your name once when Tony checked in."

Pepper smiled, "Dum-E tried hard to tell on us several times. I think he could tell Tony was sad and was trying to cheer him up. U better understood what was going on. He helped make sure Dum-E didn't out us. We--"

The door opened again and Pepper stopped. A man dressed in military fatigues stepped in. His eyes flashed over them before landing on Tony in the bed. "Shit. How is he?" He asked softly.

"The doctors are hopeful. He came out of the coma for the first time earlier." Pepper said her voice equally quiet. "The nurse said they'd done all they could, it was just on him to heal now."

"They were able to take him off the ventilator this morning." He added.

The man's eyes dropped to him, first to the hand that still held Tony's, then to his arm, before finally resting on his face. "I know you. You mishandled that missile and got your arm blown off." The man was practically sneering.

He felt himself bristle. The stress and fear and pain of the last few days bubbled up as white hot anger. He grit his teeth, struggling not to jump up, to shout. "I didn't mishandle anything. Stane falsified the report. That missile killed my whole fucking squad, so watch your fucking mouth." He hissed. He wanted to punch the man, Colonel Rhodes, Pepper had called him. But the last thing he needed was to get tossed out now for starting a fist fight in a hospital room.

The other man stilled, eyes still on him. He wondered if Rhodes could sense how close he was to boiling over. Then the man held out his hand, "James Rhodes." He offered, then "Colonel James Rhodes."

He snorted. "That will be easy enough to remember. Sergeant James Barnes." He took the man's hand and after a moment's deliberation added, "Call me Bucky."

They all spent the next four hours breaking down everything that had happened in the months since the convoy explosion. Rhodes asked him more about the explosion and listened intently as he explained. Once he was done Rhodes apologized for being an ass. Apparently he had been the main military correspondent on the incident and even he'd never seen the real report. All he knew was the hell it caused for Tony at the time.

He told them about his arm, how Tony had repaired it. No one seemed even remotely shocked. But of course they wouldn't be. That was just how Tony was.

Pepper was filling them in on a particularly close call when Tony stirred. Everyone fell still and quiet eyes on Tony's face. His eyelids flickered then opened. Tony's brow knit weakly at the bright light of the room. Then his eyes snapped open and he lurched up. "Easy Tony." He said softly. "You're safe. Breathe."

Tony's eyes settled on Rhodes and he blinked. "Rhodey?" He asked weakly.

"Hey Tones." Rhodes smiled at him. Tony held out his free hand until Rhodes moved over to the bed. As soon as Tony's hand caught him Tony began to try to pull him onto the bed.

Rhodes complained briefly but he got the sense it was only to hold up appearances as the man slowly eased onto the bed next to Tony. Tony's hand tightened like a vice around his fingers as Tony curled against Rhodes' side. He got the distinct impression it was Tony's way of making sure he didn't leave again. He didn't have any plans to leave though. He should have known earlier, remembered it simply was how Tony was with those he cared about. The stress of the last few days had made him react without thinking.

Tony was so quiet he was almost certain he'd fallen back asleep buried in Rhodes shoulder but when a nurse came from to do some tests he moved without needing to be awoken or prompted. Rhodes slid off the bed giving the nurse room to move.

He released Tony's hand and scooted back to give the man room as well The nurse had a warm rich voice as he walked Tony through some tests. When he was done the nurse addressed the room at large. "He's doing well but needs to get more rest. You can all stay until the night nurse comes then we will need everyone to clear out and let Tony sleep."

A general murmur of consent whispered across the room. "So Tony, what happened with Obie? The fight I mean." Rhodes asked softly once the door closed behind the nurse.

Tony shifted some in the bed before speaking. "I don't know if Happy or Bucky told you but the whole plan was to keep close enough he didn't use missiles and to keep him turned away from the civilians. The problem was Obie's suit was too big. He pulled me out of the air and when I got away hit me with something, a missile of some kind, it blew me back through the wall and damaged the reactor."

"After that I couldn't hold sustained flight and I still didn't want to use weapons and risk hurting a civilian. Obie seemed to notice pretty quickly that I wasn’t shooting and used it to his advantage. He had the upper hand in close combat too and he knew to aim for the reactor. I tried to keep my distance, focused on jumping in, taking out the exposed components then getting out. I took out his targeting systems so he couldn’t shoot anymore. I was trying to get him to open his suit. I took out his visuals when he caught me. Ripped off my helmet and crushed it. I used all the power left in the reactor to blast him. It punched through his armor and caught him I think in the side. Then I blacked out."

Pepper's delicate fingers covered her mouth. Happy looked pale. Rhodes opened his mouth to speak when a light knock pulled their attention to the door. Another nurse bustled in, this time a woman with short brown hair and a severe expression. "It's time for Tony to get some rest. You are all welcome to come visit tomorrow morning."

Pepper, Rhodes and Happy stood, said their goodbyes and filed from the room. Even if he had wanted to leave Tony's fingers remained viselike around his own. The woman's eyes settled on him. "You too. He will be here tomorrow." She said sternly.

"If he leaves I'll stand up and go with him." Tony said definitely. 

"Like hell you would."

Tony's eyes held hers. "My hospital, he stays." 

"Fine." She conceded, "but you must rest." After she checked his vitals she turned on her heel and left. 

Tony slowly and painstakingly scooted to the side till his hip pressed against the bed railings. "Lay down with me for awhile?" He asked, the raw hopefulness in his tone heartbreaking.

"Yeah Tony. Of course." It was awkward trying to squeeze into a bed so clearly made for only one, while also avoiding the mass of wires and tubes still connected to Tony. In the end he managed to make it without pulling anything to hard. Tony curled against his chest and clung to his shirt.

"What happened? After I passed out?" He asked. 

"They did some minor surgery but like you said, most of the damage was the reactor. I had to replace it. I made everyone leave, did it alone so no one knows."

Tony caught his lips in an almost frantic kiss. He brought his hand up to cradle Tony's cheek as the last bit of fear and anxiety seemed to melt from him. His cock stirred hopefully. Tony, clad only in the thin hospital garments easily felt it. He could feel Tony's lips curl up but thankfully the man didn't break away to comment. 

He didn't know how long they lay like that, lips together. Tony's tongue lazily explored his mouth as though remapping out lost territory. When they finally broke apart he could hear the beep if Tony's pulse hammering behind them.

"Get some rest Tony." He whispered softly. "I'll be here when you wake up"

Tony's eyes held his a long time before he shifted into as comfortable a position as he could get in. Carefully he slipped the metal arm over Tony's waist. It didn't take long for the slow beep of Tony's pulse and the sheer exhaustion of the last few days to pull him into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Tony

He frowned, not quite ready to open his eyes. He could hear a constant incessant beeping. An alarm? His eyes snapped open and he tried to sit up but a weight on his side held him down. Bed. Hospital. Bucky in the bed with him. The thoughts seemed to flood in. His chest hurt. And his legs. And his head. Fuck. He was sore all over. 

But Bucky was there. Things would be okay. He'd been so panicked when Bucky had fled after seeing him with Pep. He'd tried to run after the man but Pepper had insisted she go. Probably for the best. He wasn't exactly sure he could stand but damn it he was willing to try. He wasn't sure he'd ever felt as relieved as when Bucky returned to the room. 

It was stupid really, reacting that way. Bucky was probably only still here to get the help from the lawyers. Somehow he knew that wasn't right. He could remember floating close to the surface, the warm feeling of Bucky's hand on his. The quiet rumble of Bucky's voice. He wasn't sure Bucky had left the whole time he was there.

He closed his eyes. If he was honest, truly honest with himself, he didn't want Bucky to leave. Bucky shifted in his sleep, scooting closer. He rolled into his back, careful not to catch and leads on anything. His eyes scanned over Bucky's sleeping face. 

He'd fucking promised himself that after Trey he wasn't going to get close to anyone. He had Rhodey and Pep and a mile wide line of people willing to fuck and that would be enough. Except now it felt like a bleak, empty proposition.

Buck's eyelids flickered and the brightest blue peeked through the long brown eyelashes to meet his eyes. "Tony? S'ok?" Bucky mumbled. "S'goin on?" He asked blinking.

"Everything's okay Buck. Go back to sleep." He said but Bucky's eyes were blinking open fully now.

"What time is it?" Bucky asked, voice still rough with sleep.

"It is currently 4:52 a.m." Jarvis spoke clearly from the ceiling.

"Thanks J." Bucky mumbled before carefully disentangling himself from the sheets and wires to stretch. "You should be sleeping Tony." Bucky told him with what he was sure was supposed to be a firm voice. It did not have the desired effect. If anything it sounded cute. He smirked.

"I'm pretty sure I've slept more the past few days than I have all of my adult life." He said. "I'm not tired." He took a slow breath, suddenly very annoyed by the heart monitor, telling the world he was nervous through the steady increase in beeping. "I think we should probably talk." He said softly.

"Ouch. What did I do?" Bucky said a smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Just, about what comes next." He said softly.

"Oh." Buck's face fell. "Yeah. I guess we probably should."

They sat a silence broken only by the treacherous heart monitor. "So after I can get moving again I'll have to do a press conference. Explain to everyone what happened. I'll leave you out of it as much as possible. Then I'll get with the lawyers, figure out who is best suited for the case. I can't imagine it would really take long? J how long do custody battles normally take?"

"Few have a set time line, sir." Jarvis said calmly.

He nodded took another breath then continued. "And then after that I'm sure you'll want to head back to your place and...that will be that." He finished lamely.

Bucky was quiet a long moment then echoed, "that will be that."

Before he even realized he'd planned to speak he heard himself say, "But it doesn't have to be. If you don't want it to." He mentally kicked himself. Just like fucking Trey. He couldn't just let go. Had to drag it out, make it hurt.

He could feel Bucky's eyes boring into him. Why couldn't he just shut up? Why did he push like this? "I don't want it to be over." Buck's voice was quiet. "I love you Tony."

The words hit him like a fucking truck. He stared as his brain struggled to process it. Sure both Pepper and Rhodey said they loved him but the connotation behind it was different. Before he could talk himself out of it he whispered back, "I love you too." Buck's mouth crashed into his as the metal hand slipped up to gently hold the back of his head. For the briefest moment he forget where he was, his body arching up into the contact.

And then the heart monitor flatlined. Bucky jumped back a look of panic in his eyes but spoke reassuringly. "Just the lead." He managed before the door banged open. 

"The lead just came loose." Bucky said quickly. The woman who had shooed everyone out did not look amused as she reattached the chest lead. After a moment the monitor began to beep steadily again. She shot them both a look before closing the door. "I think she might be annoyed with us." Bucky said with a smirk.

But a thought had just occurred to him. "I'm not good at this. Relationships I mean." He said. "I forget dates and holidays and birthdays. I get distracted and absorbed in what I'm doing and disappear for days. I don't know how to help with emotional stuff. I--" Buck's finger over his lips stopped his train of thought.

"You think I don't already know that stuff Tony? I've spent several  _ very _ chaotic months with you. But I still want to give this a try. Will you be okay if RJ does come to live with me sometimes?"

He'd forgotten about that entirely. "I don't know." He said honestly. "I don't know how to be a parent. I would have no idea what I'm doing. How do you even talk to kids?"

Bucky snorted like it was a joke but he was serious. "Just like you do anyone else. And you won't be having to take care of her or anything. I'll do all that but are you okay with her being around?"

"Yeah. That's fine." He said trying but to let the swirling thoughts in his mind overrun him. There were so many unknowns. How was he supposed to know what to do? It was too much to decide from his hospital bed, he decided. For now he would just focus on this, on them. The rest would come later. He leaned forward and kissed Bucky, being much more careful of the chest lead.

It had been a solid week of slow progress since the night he and Bucky had shared in the hospital bed. His eyes scanned the crowd of reporters before him. Many he knew, recognized from years of answering questions and talking to them before and after news reports. Hell many of them he recognized from the day Obie had tried to kill him.

Early that morning security had set up chairs in the main conference area of SI HQ and finally welcomed in the journalists who had been hovering outside for almost two weeks. A court date was soon to be set in the case against Obie. Today couldn't be about that. Today was the day to announce the changes to Stark Industries. 

Bucky had helped him dress that morning. He was still stiff and putting on the jacket had been unpleasant. It was strange having someone to help. Not at all a negative strange, but very very strange.

He stepped out, his face settling automatically into his 'press face'. Howard had always pressed the importance of having a normal look for camera even if it was nothing like your normal expression. He was shocked, though he didn't show it, when many of the reporters stood and cheered as he walked into the stage. It was shorter than normal to prevent him from going up more than one step. 

"I would say thank you all for coming, but most of you didn't have far to come." He said with a smile when everyone was sitting once more. The crowd laughed as one as the cameras flashed. 

"Over the past few months, you have seen and reported on many things involving Stark Industries as well as my untimely death, and the deaths of my close friends and colleges Pepper Potts and Colonel Rhodes. I am happy to say that after a thorough check from the doctors we have all been pronounced alive once more." Another laugh. 

"Many of you were present almost two weeks ago when I confronted a long time family friend Obiadiah Stane. I would like to address that first. The video that was played at that press conference was indeed real. Mr. Stane did contract a terrorist group called The Ten Rings to kill me. During the attack and my subsequent capture I saw American men and women killed with the very weapons I had made to protect them." He paused to take a breath, listening to the murmur in the crowd. 

"I escaped my kidnapping, and Ob-Mr. Stane found me wandering the deserts in Afghanistan and he brought me home. During the plane ride home I told him about my plan to shut down the weapons division of Stark Industries--"

"Mr. Stark!"

"Mr. Stark!"

Several voices cut across him, hands in the air.

"I will take questions once I have finished." He promised. "When I returned home, Mr. Stane told me to stay in hiding while he spoke to the board. After several days he returned to say the board had agreed to the change and he was taking me to a board meeting. Instead Mr. Stane kidnapped me again and had me sold to the highest bidder. Again I escaped and planned my return here."

He shifted, his chest ached. He was so ready to sit down. "Mr. Stane has been removed from his position here at Stark Industries and is currently in police custody while he awaits trial. In the following months you will see some very radical changes affecting Stark Industries. As was my original plan, we will be closing down the weapons and development sector of Stark Industries and" his voice rose as the crowd began to murmur, "focusing our efforts on medicine, clean, energy, conservation and helping the world and her people toward a better, brighter future. I will now take questions."

The chorus of Mr. Stark echoed as every reporter lunged to their feet, hands in the air. He pointed at the blonde in the front row. The questions were all ones he expected. 'What will happen with the stocks?' 'Who will be running the company?' 'How do you think Howard would feel about this change?' he always hated that one.

"Time for just one more." He said when Happy touched his shoulder. Fuck he wanted to get out of the suit and lay down. He pointed to a woman with brown hair and a way too tight dress. 

"Is it true that it was you who helped free the town of Golmira from the Ten Rings?" 

He almost, almost forgot his press face. Instead he flashed the bank of photographers a smile and said, "Yes. I am Ironman." The reporters jumped to their feet calling questions as Happy guided him back away from the group. He smiled and waved as he stepped into the elevator. As soon as the doors closed he slumped heavily against the wall.

"You okay boss?"

"Yeah." He said, hoping he sounded like he meant it. The elevator opened to the head offices floor. Again he was met with a standing ovation from the other company heads who were in office that day as well as the sea of receptionist sitting at their various desks. He understood the attention, what they were trying to do, but honestly he would have much preferred a quiet return. 

He forced himself to remain standing straight and smiling until he made it to his own office. The blinds were blessedly already closed, blocking the office from view when the door was closed. He stepped inside, and Happy closed the door. He sagged against the wall. "Tony!" Buck's voice was laced with concern.

Of course Bucky would be there. He let the cool of the metal arm snake around his waist and half lift him to his chair. Once he could lean on the desk, Bucky helped him ease out of the suit jacket. He sat with a groan, "Mmuuch better." He sighed. 

"Did it go okay?" Bucky asked softly. 

He nodded, letting his head drop back to his chair closed eye facing the ceiling. "Most of the questions were just canned, same ones I've answered before. Stocks should bottom out any time now from the news about the weapons manufacturing closing. One of them asked about the village and the Ten Rings so I'll be dealing with that soon."

A light knock on the door effectively stopped his chain of thought. There was a brief pause then Pepper stepped in. He let his head drop back and his eyes close again, hoping she wasn't there to tell him off for anything he'd said. A soft hand on his shoulder was the only warning he received before she began to gently clean away the makeup she'd applied that morning. 

He had managed to mostly heal in the last week but his cheek and eyebrow still had a fair bit of yellowing. Best for the press not to have an in your face view of the damage. His chest was still dark purple which the doctors continued to insist was normal due to the damage he'd taken to the reactor in the fight. He was ready for it to return to normal.

"I think that went as well as it could have." She said softly. He opened his eyes and sat up. Pepper's hand followed the movements. He pulled up the computer screen and pulled up the stock numbers. Only a three point drop so far. Honestly better than he'd expected. More to come he was sure as news spread.

He could feel Bucky's eyes watching him. He wondered if it was strange for him to watch Pepper clean off the makeup. It was strange, he guessed, to have someone putting on or cleaning off makeup while you just worked around it but he had grown up with it. He remembered being a child reading or drawing or building while some poor harassed assistant struggled to tame his hair or get camera makeup on him. 

Pepper's delicate fingers caught his chin and lifted his face, carefully checking for any stray makeup then she looked him in the eyes, "Are you sure you want to do this meeting today?"

Before he could answer Bucky spoke, "Good luck with that Pep. I've been trying to talk him out of it since last night."

He couldn't help the smile at Bucky's words. Bucky and Pepper had become fast friends with in the mutually shared misery of dealing with his shenanigans. He was relieved they got along. He loved them both in their own ways and couldn't imagine if they didn't get along. "I'm fine Pep, really. I just want to get the meeting over with so I can relax."

"If it's a meeting you want I have every department head scrambling for a meeting." She said with a firmness that didn't reach her eyes. "The weapons leads wanting to know what is happening to their jobs, every other team wanting to know if they are getting increased funding. Exactly how many jobs will we be hiring for after today?"

He tried to look admonished. "One hundred thirty two?" 

She looked shocked. "That many were…?" 

"That's as many as I can find that were on Obie's payroll and knowingly double dealing. Easily twice that number I can prove was selling weapons illegally but maybe not willingly. Police are already rounding up the enemies of the state."

Pepper sighed heavily. He hated giving her more to do after everything she was already working on. "We need some good ideas quickly. The company's reputation has gone through the mud before but this is pretty serious. I'll need to get your in front of the press as soon as possible with new ideas and updates about the company so we can start building trust back with investors."

He nodded. He'd known as much. He wasn't at all looking forward to it but he'd known it was coming. "You've got thirty minutes till your meeting. Try to rest. Happy, come with me please?" Pepper asked sweetly. Happy stood to follow. "After this are you going back downstairs?" He nodded. "I'll catch up with you there."

"Thanks Pep." He said at the same time as Bucky said, "Thank you Pepper." 

She smiled at both of them and left.

He closed his eyes, letting himself relax in the quiet. "What's Pepper's job title? Officially?" Bucky asked. He looked up at Bucky. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the stocks had dropped another two points.

"Umm… Personal assistant I think is how it started. She basically runs the company now." He rubbed his face and winced as he accidently rubbed to hard on a bruise. "I honestly don't know how this company would survive without her." 

He heard the soft footfalls as Bucky stood at crossed around the desk. Bucky's hand buried in his hair, gently rubbing his scalp. A filthy sounding moan slipped through his lips. "Fuck." He breathed as Bucky found a knot at the base of his skull and started to rub.

"You know this can wait Tony? A few more days is not a big deal."

"I promised you we would get this started as soon as possible and I meant it. Be happy we didn't meet with her from my hospital bed."

Bucky snorted and lifted his chin. He bent until Bucky's lips hovered over his. "I love you even if you're a stubborn asshole." Bucky whispered, their lips brushing together as he spoke. He arched up enough to press their lips together. He hadn't even tried to voice the thrill of anxiety and happiness that washed over him each time Bucky spoke those three little words.

Sure he'd heard them hundreds of times in his bed, slipping in reverence from the latest warm body but only once in his life had he also felt the same in return. Bucky wasn't going to be like Trey he reminded himself. Not that he'd thought Trey would end up like Trey. Maybe he was just a bad judge of character. He'd seen Bucky yell.

The cool metal of Buck's hand on his cheek pulled him back to the present. He'd still been kissing Bucky as his mind wandered. He bit Buck's bottom lip, not with any real pressure but enough to draw out a soft purr from the man above him. He smiled, before pulling back, letting their foreheads press together. "I love you too."

His eyes flickered back to the screen. Another 4 point drop. It was going to be a long day.

Bucky

He would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous for the meeting. One of the first things Tony had asked Pepper to do was find the best lawyer on the team and after a very brief explanation of his situation she'd been more than happy to help. Ever since she'd given Tony the name last night over dinner Tony had been hell bent to get her started right away.

He leaned back in his chair, ready to fill her in and get out of the fucking suit. Tony had insisted he didn't need to be in one but if Tony was it only seemed right for him to be too.

"Your three o'clock is here sir." A soft voice from Tony's desk broke the silence. 

"Send her in." Tony said, sitting up a little straighter. He'd helped Tony back into the suit's jacket a few minutes ago. He couldn't deny Tony looked fucking good in the suit.

"You wanted to see me sir?" A soft voice came from the open office door. Tony smiled.

"Yes! Please come in."

A woman in her mid thirties stepped tentatively into the office. She had dark brown hair pulled back in a bun and was dressed very formally. Green eyes stopped on him only momentarily before returning to Tony.

"Have a seat." Tony gestured to the chair next to him. She settled easily into the chair. "Do they have you working on anything important in legal?" Tony asked, sitting again.

"No sir." She said. 

"Good! I have something that needs complete focus and I was hoping you'd be the one to help." 

She looked startled. "Me?"

Tony smiled. "Pepper said you are the best we have and that's what I need."

That did nothing to soothe the shocked look from her face. After a moment she composed herself. "Of course!" She said with a smile. "How can I help?"

"This is my…" Tony hesitated a moment eyes on him. They hadn't exactly gotten to labels yet.

"I'm his friend, James Barnes." He offered his hand. 

"Nice to meet you Mr. Barnes." She said still smiling as she shook his hand. Now that he could see her up close he could see why Pepper would like her. In spite of her small form and quiet voice he could see fight in her eyes.

"Perhaps it's best if James explains." Tony said easily.

She nodded and turned her chair to face him. He'd known he'd have to explain everything. That didn't make it any easier. Still as he spoke she listened intently, delicate hands folded on her lap.

"I can understand wanting to get something set up, especially in a situation like that." She said when he finally finished. "Do you have the paperwork from the last lawyer?"

He barely swallowed a snort before holding out the paperwork. "After all that time, this is apparently all he had." He said passing her the folder with the single sheet of paper.

Her brows knit together. "Just the one page?" He nodded. "If you don't mind coming down to legal there is a bit of paperwork I'll need to get started?" She asked. 

"Yeah, I'll be down in 10 if that's okay?"

She smiled. "That will give me time to get everything printed."

"Thank you, Ms. Maxwell." Tony said with a smile.

"Of course sir." She said before slipping out of the office.

"Let's get you home and on the couch." He said once Tony's door slide shut.

"Fuck. Just going to talk dirty to me hmm?" Tony grinned and stood unsteadily.

"Ass." He mumbled. Crossing the room to help Tony get stable before leading him to the door.

"You really don't realize how much your chest moves when you walk until every movement hurts." Tony said conversationally as he crossed the office. 

Once the door opened Tony slipped right into 'performer' mode. The pained expression melted away, replaced with that easy smile Tony always had prepared for the press. He strolled across the room like he'd never felt pain in his life. He had to give Tony credit. He didn't think he could ever be that convincing. As soon as the elevator doors closed Tony slumped into his side. He wrapped an arm around the smaller man's waist, enjoying the closeness.

He pressed a kiss into Tony's hair, breathing in the warm familiar smell of shampoo and cologne. Back on their floor he helped Tony back out if the suit jacket and then his shirt. He untucked the soft undershirt and gently pulled it up to check the bruising. Still purple, both dark and light but no fresh blood which was what the nurse had said to watch for. The silver of the reactor wall stood out in vivid contrast to the dark skin around it. "Want your pants off too?" He asked. 

"Around you? Always." Tony purred. 

He rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling at he gently began to loosen the belt. "I'm not fucking helpless." Tony grumbled, trying to bat his hands away.

"Never said you were." He purred, kissing Tony's cheek before sliding the belt lose. Tony very grudgingly let him help with stepping out of the pants before he helped Tony over to the couch. "Try to rest." He said, stealing a quick kiss before turning back to the elevator.

Jarvis took him to legal without any promoting. "Can I help you?" A man asked almost as soon as he stepped off the elevator. The man sat at a small cluttered desk a few feet away. The front read of the desk bore the sign, 'Reception.'

"Yeah. I need Ms. Maxwell's office. She's expecting me." 

The man looked him over then spoke in a bored sort of voice, "Three down on the left." 

He nodded and followed the instructions. There were what had to be hundreds of desks and offices neatly arranged on the floor. A soft din of chatter filled the space. He was thankful to have no trouble finding the correct office.

He knocked lightly. "Mr. Barnes! Come in. Shut the door behind you if you don't mind. Please, sit down."

Ms. Maxwell seemed much more relaxed in her own space. She smiled comfortably at him as he came in. "I was just doing some reading, this lawyer you had, he was in Oregon right?"

"I, yeah." He said uncertainly.

"Did he have a practice there?" She asked, her eyes back on the computer.

"Yes. I went to his office several times." 

"It's just I can't find his name on any databases." She said. "Do you remember the address?" She asked, sliding a paper to him with a pen.

He jotted it down, careful to make sure his writing was legible. She turned back to the computer. "This does pull up a legal firm but the only lawyer that is practicing there is a Patrick Winters? I don't show any other lawyers who are--"

"Wait, wait. Sorry to cut you off. Did you say Patrick Winters?"

"That's right?" He had to fight to stop himself surging to his feet. "Mr. Barnes? Is everything okay?"

He forced himself to breathe. "My ex wife's last name is Winters. Patrick Winters. That's her brother." Suddenly it all slotted into place. Her insisting he had to use this lawyer, her anger when he'd switched, the illegal phone recording, the lawyer using it against him. "I believe she had a friend impersonating a lawyer to slow down the legal stuff." He said as calmly as he could manage.

Her eyes moved from the paper he'd given her to the screen and back. "I think you might be right. I'll get someone else to investigate that as well." He nodded numbly, his mind still reeling. "If you could fill this out please and I'll be right back." 

He took the clipboard and began to fill in the information. It was the same form he noticed as the one he'd done so long ago for some ass Jess had apparently talked into helping her.

He had finished the four pages connected to the clipboard before Maxwell returned to the room. She grabbed the fake lawyer's card from the desk, promised to be right back and disappeared again. He sat in the quiet waiting. 

He felt simultaneously numb and infuriated. Years wasted because he'd never thought to look up the lawyer. Jess had made it seem like he had to use the lawyer and he'd just trusted her without a thought. The woman who had stolen his child and run and he'd just assumed she would tell him what was best. After all, her brother was a lawyer. He would know right? He wanted to fucking punch something.

"Thanks for waiting." Ms. Maxwell's soft voice pulled him back from his thoughts. He tried to smile, though he was pretty sure it came as more of a grimace. She reviewed the paperwork and asked him a few questions, had him repeat what he'd said in Tony's office while she took notes and then she promised to reach out when there was news.

Feeling completely unmoored he crossed back to the elevator which moved without his promoting. When the doors opened to his and Tony's floor he found Tony blessedly where he'd left him, stretched on the couch. Pepper sat on the floor next to his head and was holding up a tablet for him to read. "Welcome back." Tony called without looking over, his eyes tracking whatever Pepper was reading.

He could feel Pepper look at him but couldn't quite bring himself to meet her eyes. It didn't matter. "Bucky what happened?" She asked, concern plain in her voice. Of course she noticed. Pepper had already proven to be incredibly perceptive, especially when it came to recognizing unspoken issues. "Did something bad happen with Katherine?"

Katherine? Must be Maxwell's first name. He could see Tony looking at him now too, attention drawn by Pepper's words. He wanted to shout and curse and maybe beat the shit out of something. He forced that idea down. He wasn't going to freak out Tony. He pulled in a long deep breath. "Not exactly with her." He managed.

"Come sit down." Pepper said, motioning to the spot next to her on the floor. He walked over and dropped heavily to the indicated spot. If he tilted his head all the way back it would have landed in Tony's stomach behind him. "What happened?" Pepper repeated.

"The lawyer? The one I had before that I've been paying for the last year who I thought was helping? It was just one of Jess' fucking friends pretending to be a lawyer to string me along, keep RJ away from me."

"Oh my God Bucky!" Pepper said at the same time as Tony's hand came to rest supportively on his shoulder.

He continued before he lost the momentum. "Katherine is getting one of her colleagues to take the case since it's illegal, but it's my own fucking fault. Why would I trust Jess? Why would I trust the woman who took my kid away to tell me what's best for getting them back? I was so fucking stupid!" The rage boiled through. He desperately wanted to hit something. He needed to move. He was on his feet, moving, pacing. "I didn't even look him up!" He admitted to the silent room. "Didn't even think to check! God I'm so fucking stupid."

He didn't glance at the two watching him from the couch. He didn't have to look to know Tony would look afraid. He just couldn't quit fucking things up. Pepper broke the quiet. "You're not stupid. No reasonable person would even think that the lawyer they met could be fake. It's just not something anyone would consider.

"But I didn't even check! I could have had RJ back years ago if I'd just spent two minutes on the internet! What if Jess has been mistreating her? What if she's been suffering all this time and that's on me?" He wasn't pacing anymore. He'd fell still as the anger bubbled away and guilt bloomed in its place. Guilt and shame. How could he be so stupid? The question pounded in time with his pulse.

"It's not your fault Buck." Tony's voice made him look back at the couch. If Tony had been afraid of his pacing it had faded as he fell still. "Jess is a bitch, through and through and we will do everything we need to to help RJ." Tony shifted and cringed as he disturbed the massive bruise that was his whole chest. 

"But it would still be my fault." His voice sounded tiny and distant.

"Come sit down." Tony said softly.

He crossed back to the couch and dropped next to Pepper. He felt cold and hollow as twisted images of RJ alone in dark rooms, underfed and alone, played through his mind. Tony's hand returned to his shoulder. Pepper leaned gently against his arm. Pepper could insist the occasional affection with Tony was all for Tony's sake but he was certain she was just as much of cuddler as Tony was. He let his head fall back to rest against Tony's stomach as Pepper settled against his arm.

Silence stretched. All he could do was hope Maxwell managed to fix things quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Tony

Four press conferences in five days. He was actually pretty confident Pepper was trying to kill him as punishment for being dead all this time. He sat in his office, resolutely ignoring the mountain of paperwork on his desk. His attention instead focused on the mirror copy Jarvis had made of Stane's computer before the police had collected it as evidence, along with the rest of Stane's office. 

Bucky sat in the corner, eyes closed. Bucky had been an absolute mess the last few days. It was understandable of course. He knew the guilt was eating away at him. A soft beep at his desk pulled his attention away from a purchase order older than he was that Obie had approved under the table. "Jarvis why are we still using these?" He asked, glancing at the intercom.

"Because people seem to prefer it sir." 

Who would prefer such an antiquated system? He pressed the intercom button regardless. The secretary literally right outside the door asked, "Is Mr. Barnes with you sir?"

Literally if everyone just used Jarvis they would know and not even have to ask. It was such a waste. "Yes."

"Ms. Maxwell would like to see him." 

Bucky jerked like he'd been shocked, eyes shooting to the intercom with what could be excitement or fear, it was hard to say. "Yea send her up."

Buck's eyes met his. Definitely fear. Bucky had been drowning in self imposed guilt since his first meeting with Maxwell. He'd tried to help but he'd been out of commission for more than a nice long cuddle and while that seemed to help the first day it had diminishing returns in the days following. Finally last night Bucky had left the tower for several hours for a run. He would never admit to anyone how lonely he'd felt waiting, hoping, Bucky would return.

In the end he had, covered in a thin layer of sweat. Buck had at least slept better last night. He had done his best not to draw parallels between Bucky's actions and Trey's. Bucky at least never turned any of the negativity at him but instead seemed to just bottle it up which couldn't help either. He wished he could be doing more to help.

Katherine knocked then stepped in. She reminded him a lot of Pep. Drop dead gorgeous but could probably kill you with her mind. He'd seen her in court before, she'd helped with innumerable lawsuits over the years. He knew well why Pep had picked her. "Come in." He said, standing as she opened the door. "Please have a seat."

She moved to the chair next to Bucky who had straightened considerably from the slouch he'd had most of the day. "So, there have been several developments since we last talked." She said, as she settled into the chair. "The man who was impersonating a lawyer has been found and arrested for that along with several other illegal activities that were discovered when we looked at him closer. We also found your actual file." She opened a folder on her lap. "I've taken copies of the originals if you want these back?" She held out a small stack of photos. 

Bucky took them and thanked her quietly. Katherine continued, "We also found evidence of counseling, as well as several classes that it appears he told you to take?" Bucky nodded. 

She closed the folder and sat up straighter, a smile on her face. "We were able to locate your ex wife living an hour or so away. It appears when she moved she assumed a different name. She also never registered RJ for school after the move and may be homeschooling her. I've given the information you have me to CPS. They will be performing a home visit soon."

She shifted, her expression changing slightly as she continued. "If everything is okay, things will continue as we talked about, we will go to court, have the custody trial. If her treatment hasn't improved or has gotten worse, there is a chance she will be removed to protective custody. I've spoken with the judge who has agreed that the classes and evaluations you have taken clear you to be that protective custody. If that happens, things will move very quickly. I need you to keep your phone on and be ready in case they have to remove her from the home."

"If she's removed her mother can try to appeal and we will go from there. If her mother chooses not to appeal all parental rights will be passed to you."

He watched the play of emotions over Buck's face as she spoke. Just one more block on the already precariously leaning tower that was his life. "I...that isn't how I wanted this to go." Bucky said, his voice quiet.

Katherine patted his arm. "I know you wanted RJ to have a say in this but if she's in a bad enough situation CPS takes her then trust me you'd want her out for her own good." 

Bucky nodded. "Thank you for the update. If she is removed when will I know?" Bucky asked.

"Probably 4 days would be the longest. If you haven't heard anything by Monday it's safe to assume the visit went okay. I'll let you know as soon as I know more as well."

Bucky nodded. "I'll keep my phone with me. Thank you for helping with all this."

Katherine smiled and stood. He and Bucky followed suit. Bucky shook her hand. "Thanks Katherine." He said and she smiled at him before leaving.

"God Tony if she gets removed that means--"

"She will get to a loving home that much sooner." He said firmly, cutting Bucky off before he could continue with that line of thought.

Bucky crossed behind his desk and curled against him. He folded the larger man into his arms as best as he could. "Are you sure? About her coming?"

This was the fifth time Bucky had pressed that line of questioning He ran his fingers up and down Bucky's spine. "I'm sure it's okay if she comes. I'm just worried about bringing her into being around me." He could see Bucky starting to protest and continued quickly. "I need you to understand what I mean. Come on."

Bucky

He'd followed Tony in confusion down the elevators to the garage where Happy was already waiting. Jarvis he guessed had a hand in it. Or a voice. His mind spun with confusion as they climbed into the car and Happy drove without promoting. 

He didn't press for information, his head already felt like it might burst. RJ could be back with him and day now. Fuck what if he couldn't remember how to be a parent? Or if she hated him and wanted to go back to her mother? What choices did he really have then? What if she didn't even recognize him? She'd been so young when he last saw her.

The car came to a stop in a Whole Foods parking lot, pulling him out of his thoughts. Tony turned to look at him. "Just to be clear, I'm not trying to discourage you, this, us." Tony paused and took a breath before continuing. "I just… You need to understand. Before you agree to this, before you bring RJ into it, you need to understand." Before he could say anything Tony turned to Happy. "Give us a loose follow. I'll signal if I need you."

"Sure thing boss." Happy's voice sounded falsely pleasant. Again he tried to speak but Tony was climbing out of the car. He jumped to follow. By the time caught up with Tony the other man was halfway across the parking lot and walking determinedly towards the entrance. As he matched pace, he heard someone nearby whisper,  _ Is that Tony Stark? _

They made it about fifteen steps into the building before a woman stepped into their path. "Excuse me, Tony?" The brief pause seemed to be the only thing people were waiting on. In an instant a crowd swallowed them. He expected Happy to move in, push the crowd away but instead Tony turned into the crowd and with an award winning smile addressed the woman who had stopped them. She wanted a picture with him which one of the random members of the crowd was more than happy to take.

Next was a kid wanting an autograph. Tony pulled a pen from inside his jacket and knelt to be at eye level as he spoke to the child. On and on, person after person Tony worked through the ever swelling crowd. It was strange to see Tony like this. The Tony he'd seen on the news and press releases. It was still jarring now that he'd seen Tony as he really was.

A hand suddenly slipped through the crowd to land on Tony's shoulder. He followed the hand to see Happy standing behind them. Tony continued on as if nothing happened but after each person he took a step backwards and slowly they backed out the door. As they reached the parking lot Tony called to the remaining crowd. "Sorry that's all for today." And then turned on the spot. Happy began to push through the remaining crowd, Tony tucked behind him. 

Without thinking he turned to follow Tony, helping to keep away the people who tried to close in on their sides. Tony got into the car first, he circled around to climb in on the other side as Happy put the car in gear. The crowd wrapped around the car but as Happy began to roll they parted. 

As they pulled out of the parking lot a news van hurtled in almost clipping them in their haste to turn in. Tony was silent as they drove. He closed his eyes. The silence in the car felt so absolute after the din of the crowd.

Finally Tony spoke, his voice quiet, "See what I mean? It wouldn't be fair to you, to RJ to live like that."

"How different would it have been if Happy had been closer?" He asked quietly.

"He could have kept us getting surrounded but that doesn't stop the pictures or the people." Tony sounded if anything more miserable as he spoke.

"What if we went somewhere else? Back to my place maybe? Or the Malibu house?"

But Tony was shaking his head. "Your house wouldn't be secure. They'd follow us right to the front door and nothing could keep them out. And the Malibu house wouldn't work for a child."

"There's always the Stark estate." Happy spoke.

"Where?" He asked but Tony seemed to be thinking so he didn't press.

Happy filled in, "It's where Tony grew up. His family estate."

"I never planned to go back there." Tony said more to himself than the car at large, "but it could definitely work." Tony looked at him. "I'd have to talk to Pepper. She'd either have to fly back and forth or work remotely. Still way less of a flight than going back and forth between New York and Malibu."

"Where is it?" He asked.

"Upstate. Near Esopus. I'd planned to tear it all down and build there but it could work. I had been putting it off to keep everyone there from being out of a job."

"Everyone? Who is there?"

"Maintenance and cleaning crews. Keeps the house and grounds clean and repaired." Tony said with a shrug. "I'd need to upgrade Howard's shop." Tony mused.

He hesitated a moment, "Could we see it?"

That seemed to pull Tony back to the present. "It's what, Happy? Two hours? We could always fly. That would be quicker." 

Two hours wasn't bad but if he got a call about RJ he'd rather be able to get back quicker than that. Apparently he'd waited too long to answer as Tony spoke again. "Happy, take us to the hanger."

"Sure thing boss." Happy said, sounding genuinely pleased. He wasn't sure it was the right thing. Taking any plane, even your own private one had to be fucking expensive. Plus dragging Tony back to the house he'd spent so much time miserable in as a child. Surely they could go somewhere else. Did Happy even know about that? How could he word it in case Happy didn't? Maybe it could work, just for a little while. Then they could do something different.

The drive to the private airport seemed short. The guard at the gate checked Happy's ID then waved them through. He felt vastly out of his depth as they pulled up outside a massive hanger. Happy parked the car and Tony moved to a side door and stepped through. He followed as Tony turned on the light. The massive lights thudded to life illuminating what had to be over a hundred different planes. Just from his view at the door he could see everything from brightly colored old propeller planes to sleek dark jets. "Dad liked to collect planes." Tony said with a shrug.

"Wait, these are all yours?" He asked, eyes roving over the collection with a new curiosity.

"Yup." Tony said in a tone that sounded almost frustrated with the fact. "Honestly I've thought about donating the lot." Tony voice was distant. As he'd looked Tony had turned and was moving down the row of planes.

"What? Why?" He asked, jogging to catch up.

They stopped at the hanger doors which Tony opened. A jet, one of the biggest planes in the room was already turned facing the door. He wondered if someone had prepared it or if it was simply stored like that for easier access. Tony didn't answer as the clang and grind of the door opening filled the cavernous space. "Remember how I told you Howard helped with making Captain America?" Tony asked, moving over to the jet.

"Yeah?" He said turning to follow. Happy had already pulled down the stairs and was boarding the jet. Tony climbed up but instead of turning into the plane, moved to the cockpit. Could Tony fly? 

"Sit up here." Tony said as he turned into the small cabin. 

He glanced at Happy, who was already sitting on one of the plush benches that ran the length of the plane. In the back of the plane a bar sat, all the bottles carefully locked in place to keep them from rattling down. He turned instead to the cockpit and sat in the seat next to Tony. Even the pilot seats felt plush and oversized. 

He wanted to press for information but thought better of it as Tony began to speak with the tower and started to taxi out of the hanger and down the runway. Occasionally men in bright orange vests directed them but for the most part Tony didn't seem to need the help. 

There was something exhilarating and terrifying about watching the plane take off from the cockpit rather than the cabin. For one in the cabin you couldn't see directly ahead. It made his stomach churned slightly as Tony took off.

"When I was about 9 Howard started teaching me to fly." Tony's words pulled his eyes from the slowly fading ground. "I thought that maybe, finally, we would do something together. Just us. Like normal families. But as soon as I was even slightly aware of the idea of flying he pulled me out over the frozen ocean to look for the good Captain. Turns out modern planes had advanced enough that they could now fly longer than he could, in his age, handle piloting. His plan was to simply let me take the controls as he wore out. There was a massive storm the first night out. The wind almost threw us into the ocean. Howard told me off the whole time. At least he had the decency to let me land before kicking my ass. We never went up again together after that."

That definitely explained wanting to donate them. He thought for several long moments about how to respond but how could you really respond to that? Finally he settled on reaching over and resting a hand on Tony's thigh. Tony's hand wrapped around his and squeezed. 

It seemed like less than 10 minutes before they began to descend. He watched as Tony grew closer and closer to what looked like a sea of trees. He heard the wheels begin to thunk against the top most branches. He opened his mouth to speak but the trees stopped suddenly revealing a large open field with a massive house in the distance. A runway stretched the length of the field and Tony was already perfectly lined up. 

With practiced ease the plane lowered and touched down. He watched as the house looked closer. They slowed to a stop. Tony's head dropped back against the seat his eyes closed. "We don't have to go in Tony." He said, giving voice to the thought he'd had way back in the car. Probably a little late now.

Tony's head popped up again and with a smile that didn't really each his eyes Tony waved him off and stood. He followed Tony out of the cockpit and watched as the plane's stairs lowered. As Tony descended the stairs Happy waved him on and he followed Tony out into the black tarmac. 

A man in his late forties was approaching from the house. He wore a full suit and looked like every stereotypical British butler he'd ever seen. It was a bit of a surprise when the man had a clearly American accent. "Welcome home, Mr. Stark!" The man said with a smile. "Will do be staying long? Shall I have the plane moved to the hanger?"

"No. It's alright Tobin. We won't be here long for now." The man nodded before his soft green eyes turned to him. 

"My name is James Barnes." He extended his hand which the man shook.

"I'm Tobin Knight. I oversee the house and grounds in Mr. Stark's absence."

"Nice to meet you." He said as the man stepped back with a smile.

"Thanks Tobin." Tony said dismissively before moving around him and towards the massive house. He followed, frowning a bit at Tony's rudeness. Still this was probably a very unpleasant experience for Tony so he didn't push. He didn't know that history Tony may or may not have had with the man.

Tony seemed to be ignoring the doors on the back of the house in favor of the long trek around the side of the building. "Figured I'd give you the grand entrance." Tony said when they finally circled the building and reached a massive front porch. Huge carved wooden double doors were set back from the front of the house creating a small courtyard, tucked away from the road. Tony pressed a number sequence into a touchpad next to the door then pressed his thumb onto a small square. 

"Welcome Mr. Stark." A harsh robotic voice spoke. It sounded nothing like Jarvis. 

As if hearing his thoughts Tony spoke, "No Jarvis here." Reaching over Tony opened one of the doors. The front entrance really was amazing. The doors opened into an entry hall of polished wood floors. A chandelier hung sparkling overhead shining glimmering light onto the floor. In front of them two large staircases, one on either side of the far walls, lead up to a second floor. Behind the staircases he could see a dining room table which could easily seat 30 people shining under another smaller chandelier.

He couldn't imagine having grown up in a place like this. Tony he realized had started moving towards a hall branching off to the right. He jogged to catch up. Tony showed him a bathroom, office, and study all polished woods and marbles. Downstairs, Tony explained, was for business, working or entertaining. There was a lounge to the left of the dining room which stood in sharp contrast with thick carpet and large oversized furniture. An ornate fireplace took up one wall. A large tv took up another.

Tony guided him back into the dining room and through to the kitchen. A short portly woman with hair now more grey than brown stood at a large gas stove, stirring something that smelled like heaven.

"Tony!" She squealed, running over to pull him into a hug. "It's so good to see you again!" The smile that spread across Tony's face was genuine as he bent to hug the small woman. Tony turned to him, an arm still around the small woman's shoulders

"Bucky, this is Carolyn."

"Don't you let me catch you calling me that." The woman told him sternly "You call me Mama. Everyone else does and I'll not have any exceptions. Isn't that right?" She asked, poking Tony in the ribs.

Tony rolled his eyes but the smile never faltered as he answered, "Yes Mama."

"Good heavens boy, you've gotten so skinny!" She said turning to squeeze his sides. "You've been skipping meals again haven't you?" She demanded.

"He looks better than he did. He was skin and bones when I got ahold of him." He said. He couldn't help himself. She was just so endearing. 

"I'll be done cooking in twenty minutes and I expect you back here. Don't you make me come find you." She said shaking a finger at him.

Tony looked ready to argue but she caught him with a sharp look and he nodded.

"You boys run along then. I hope you like stew Bucky!" She called after them.

"I like her." He said as they moved back through the dining room. 

Tony smiled. "She used to clean. Then after the crash she just announced she was cooking, and has ever since. The only time I ever tried to argue she threatened me with a wooden spoon. I've never questioned since." He laughed as Tony guided him down the left hall. "This is all Howard's workshop down here." Tony said, opening one of the two doors.

The workshop was huge and filled with machines and parts he could never have even taken a guess at the names of. Tony moved the space with practiced ease. He followed more slowly. About halfway through the lab he froze, eyes on something massive sitting in the corner. "Is that…"

"Atomic bomb? Yeah Howard helped make the first one. That one's just the shell and wires. No payload." Tony assured him as if somehow that made it better. The more he looked the more he could see weapons in the space. Partially completed missiles were pressed against one wall, half a dozen guns lined another. It was so different from Tony's work, even Tony's shop had looked different. 

Tony had settled into a far corner of the workspace so he began to move in that direction. He'd seen missiles and guns and ordinance before but somehow seeing them broken into pieces drove home their destructive power. It made his stomach churn to imagine a child growing up surrounded by all this.

Tony picked something up off the bench and passed it to him. He looked down. A small controller rested in his hand with small arrow buttons. He glanced uncertainty at Tony who nodded. He pressed the forward arrow and the squeal of servos made him jump. From under the bench a tiny car zoomed out. He laughed as he remembered. "This is the one you made?" He asked. Tony nodded. He turned to lean against the work table next to Tony and drove the tiny car, clearly a rough attempt to recreate the roadster from Tony's shop, around the small open section of floor.

Tony leaned over slightly their shoulders bumping. He set down the controller and pulled Tony into a hug. Tony returned the affection fiercely, fingers clenching in his shirt. He rested his cheek on Tony's hair. "If it's too hard being back here we can leave Tony."

Tony shook his head. "I'm fine." He could hear the lie in Tony's voice but he didn't push.

"I love you." He said softly. He could feel Tony's lips turn against his chest. It still felt so new to say out loud. His heart still jumped as Tony answered.

"Love you too."

Reaching down he tipped Tony's chin up and bent to kiss him. Tony melted into the kiss, letting their bodies press together. He ran a hand through Tony's hair. It was getting long enough it probably would need to be cut soon unless Tony wanted to start looking too much like him.

"We should get back if we don't want to be late." He whispered against Tony's lips.

Tony huffed but shifted back giving him room to move. His eyes lingered again on the bomb as they wove back out of the shop. "What's through there?" He asked, gesturing to the door across the hall.

"East wing. Living quarters for those who stay here. Mama, Tobin, and a few others live here full time. They each have their own apartments back there. Howard wouldn't have given them much room but Mom ensured they had plenty of space to call home."

"Look at you, back in time." Mama said, setting out place settings. 

"He's a bad influence." Tony whined.

"Good. I like him already." She said, smiling at him.

He realized a bit too late she'd only set two spots before bustling back into the kitchen.

"Should we invite her to eat with us?" He asked uncertainly.

"If she wanted to she would trust me." He glanced once more at the door before sitting at the table. Tony was already ladelling stew into his bowl and grabbing a few pieces of bread. The door to the kitchen opened again and Mama stepped out with a third place setting. Apparently she'd be joining them after all. She set herself a place then disappeared back into the kitchen. When she returned she set a small bowl next to Tony's bowl of soup and pressed a kiss into his hair before moving to sit. 

Tony's eyes lit up and he pulled a raspberry from the bowl and popped it into his mouth, chewed then thanked her before popping three blueberries into his mouth.

"It's the only thing he will never refuse to eat." She told him with a wink. "Just leave enough bowls of fruit around and you can be sure he won't totally forget to eat." He laughed as Tony pretended to look annoyed. "So what brings you boys here?" She asked with a smile.

"We may be moving back soon." Tony said around a mouthful of fruit.

"Anthony Stark I know you were taught better than that." She scolded. Tony actually managed to look apologetic. He swallowed before continuing.

"My lawyers are working to help Bucky get custody of his daughter. If they do we plan to move back here." 

"Oh that's wonderful! How old is she? What's her name?" Mama's eyes turned to him right as he took a large bite of stew. The flavors were amazing.

"Her name is RJ and she's five." Tony answered without missing a beat.

He nodded and Mama looked at the more happy. "It would breath new life into this place. It's so quiet anymore." Her eyes looked over his shoulder. "Harold! How are you?" 

He turned, confused. Happy was walking across the front entrance. "Mama, how are you?" Happy easily returned the welcoming hug.

"Where have you been?" Tony barely managed to swallow the mouthful of berries as Mama rounded on him.

"Checking the perimeter." Happy said. "Everything looks secure if we do move back in." 

"Sit! Sit! I'll get you a plate." Mama slipped out.

Happy dropped next to him. "How are you liking it so far?" Happy asked.

"Only seen the first floor but it's beautiful." He said. He took another bite of the stew. It had to be the best thing he'd ever tasted, and thanks to Tony he'd tasted some damn good things.

They ate in relative silence. He watched Tony as he ate, looking for signs that being back at the house bothered him but Tony was far more interested in the berries than anything else, though he did manage to polish off part of the stew as well.

Once he finished Tony stood. "I am going to show him upstairs now and then we will head back to headquarters." Happy nodded.

"Tony." The woman said firmly as Tony began to walk away. 

"Sorry!" He said doubling back to grab his bowls and silverware which he brought into the kitchen. He carried his own bowl in after Tony. They set them by the sink before Tony turned and guided them back out of the kitchen and up one of the massive staircases. 

At the top of the stairs was a large landing with a couch and bookcases on the right wall. Along the back wall were several doors. Tony approached the right wall and opened a door, which seemed to disappear into the surrounding clutter of the bookcase. 

Without needed told, he knew this was Tony's room. The whole left side was filled with parts and pieces and schematics all sorted into Tony's signature piles. Partially assembled near the back wall was something that looked a lot like Dum-E and U. As he walked into the room he was surprised to find a tall glass case overflowing with awards and trophies. He looked over the ones at eye level. They appeared to be for robotics. His eyes continued to scan the room. A very expensive looking electric guitar stood in a stand and next to it a queen sized bed shoved into the corner, almost like an afterthought.

"After the crash I never really came up here more than to grab a few parts so not much has changed." Tony said from the door. He turned, confident he'd heard a tiny whisper of nerves, as if Tony was worried he'd judge him. Like he really cared what Tony's old bedroom looked like. Tony was leaning against the wall, arms folded and watching him. He could see the muscle in Tony's jaw jump as he glanced back. 

"How old were you?" He asked, eyes returning to scanning the room, now taking in the band posters that remained tacked to the wall.

"Twenty one." Tony answered, now crossing the room to touch the half assembled robot. "I figured we can clean this all out, use it as a playroom or something for RJ. That's what it was when I was younger."

"Sounds good." He reached out and grabbed Tony's hand and pulled him over to the bed. Dropping into it he stretched out and pulled Tony down with him so the other man ended up on top of him.

"Well hi there." Tony said with a smirk, getting comfortable before supporting himself on one arm so they could remain eye to eye.

"Hi yourself." He smiled up at Tony.

Tony leaned down, Tony's lips just barely ghosting over his. He reached up, fingers finding Tony's hair, to pull him down but Tony leaned back instead. "Hands up, touch the headboard and don't move or I'll stop." The command in Tony's voice pooled immediately in his stomach as his cock twitched to life.

With a quiet shuffle and whir of servos he reached up and touched the headboard. Tony's eyes lingered on his fingers before turning to kiss him again, still infuriatingly light. Unable to move he groaned loudly into the kiss. He could feel the edges of Tony's lips curl up. "What's the matter?" Tony asked, their lips brushing as he spoke.

"Tony please?" He asked. 

Tony hummed, lips still just barely brushing over his jaw now. The sudden sharp pinch as Tony bit his bottom lip effectively cut whatever he was going to say. Instead the words turned into a moan as his hips ground up, seeking friction.

Tony smiled before scooting down to push his shirt up. He grumbled again. Not moving was annoying, he wanted to reach down, touch. A sudden thought occurred to him. After everything with Obie and then the hospital, they hadn't had sex in…

His brain shorted out as Tony's teeth closed on one of his nipples. He arched up, chest and back lifting off the bed as he struggled both to escape and to press into the spark of pain. Then Tony's teeth were gone and his tongue lapped at the pain, soothing. He groaned.

Tony's fingers were lazily running up and down his scared side, contact flickering in and out of feeling. Tony's nipped across his chest and latched onto the other nipple, biting and licking. He whined softly. 

Tony sat up and reaching over wrapped his warm fingers around the cool metal of his arm, pulling lightly. He tensed, remembering Tony's words. "It's okay." Tony promised so he let himself relax. Tony pressed a kiss into his palm. He smiled at the affection but Tony apparently had other ideas as his tongue darted out to lick up his fingers. A shiver ran straight down his spine and into his cock which now ached painfully against his zipper. 

A briefest of smirks was the only warning he received before Tony slipped two of his fingers past his lips and began to lap and suck at the metal digits. He was only distantly aware if the strangled shout that slipped past his lips. Tony's eyes were blown wide and his hips ground forward as he sucked. Tony's tongue slid between his fingers before lapping at the tips. Tentatively he moved his fingers, sliding them out then in again. Tony seemed more than happy to allow him to finger fuck his lips. Tony's free hand slid down to cup his cock through his pants. Tony arched into his own hand 

A soft moan slipped around his fingers and out of Tony's mouth. He took a risk, slipping his fingers free and pulling Tony down, taking advantage of Tony's parted lips to plunge his tongue into Tony's mouth. It took Tony a moment to recover and another moment still for his tongue to begin to move. He could taste the metal of his fingers still lingering on Tony's tongue. 

Tony's hand grabbed his metal one and firmly pushed it back up to the headboard. He moved willingly, more than happy to let Tony take over now that he'd gotten the kiss he'd wanted earlier. By the time they broke apart he felt slightly light headed. Tony was moving down, opening the button on his pants and easing them off. He lifted his hips and his cock slapped his stomach. Apparently Tony had pulled his underwear off too. 

"Wanna ride you." Tony said once his pants are gone. That sounded like a fucking amazing idea. He nodded and Tony grinned at him. Tony stood, pulling off his clothes, setting them aside. Tony pulled what looked like a condom wrapper out of his back pocket but before he could question Tony tore it open and spread lube over his fingers.

Tony's hand slicked his cock, sending sharp zings of pleasure through him before Tony turned his attention to prepping himself. After what felt like far too short of time, but also feel like eternity Tony climbed back into the bed.

He started to move his hand but Tony raised an eyebrow and he returned it to the headboard. Tony's hand wrapped around his prick and carefully Tony lowered himself. For a split second he felt the overwhelming pressure as his head pushed against the tight ring of muscle and he wondered if Tony had really done enough prep. Then he slipped in and all he could feel was Tony's ass, hot and tight wrapped around him. 

He groaned and tried to be still as his hips instinctively twitched up into the warmth. If Tony minded the movement it didn't show. Tony's head was thrown back, mouth open as a low moan slid from him. Tony didn't slow or stop until he was fully seated. 

Tony's hand rested on his chest, and he leaned over and wiped the last of the lube on the comforter before bracing both hands on him. He could feel Tony's ass squeezing against his cock, struggling to adjust to the sudden invasion. And then Tony was moving, he lifted himself up and dropped back down. Then again. And again. Tony set up a fast rhythm. He arched up off the bed, determined to meet each of Tony's drops.

God he'd almost forgotten the perfect litany of moans and broken words that slipped from Tony's lips when they were together. It was intoxicating. 

Planting his feet on the bed he thrust up. Keeping a close eye on Tony's face to make sure he wasn't spotted his metal hand slipped from the headboard to wrap around Tony's cock. Tony jumped at the contact but when his eyes dropped to his cock, flush and red in his grasp the filthy moan that slipped from Tony's lips told him he's made the right choice.

"Fuck. Bucky. Fuck." Tony's movements were fast becoming frantic and uncoordinated. He tightened his hold on Tony's dick and Tony came, moaning his name. Tony's ass spasmed around him, the pleasure so intense it was almost dizzying. 

His hands caught Tony's hips and he thrust up, chasing his own release. It didn't take long he was already so close. He closed his eyes as pleasure rolled over him on waves. He was almost certain he could feel Tony's ass moving around him, drawing out the pleasure as long as he could. 

When the world slid back into focus Tony still sat on his slowly softening cock. He pulled in a long breath and flashed what he was sure was a dopey smile at Tony. "Been too long." He mumbled and Tony smirked.

"Yeah near death is a bit of a mood killer." He snorted, metal hand returning to Tony's cock. Tony jerked in surprise, his ass tightening. His own cock tried weakly to refill but unlike Tony he didn't have unlimited stamina. Tony thrust lazily into his hand for a moment then batted it away. "That'll take to long. Let's get cleaned up."

Tony stood gingerly and disappeared, returning a moment later with a warm towel which he tossed over. He wiped his chest clean before cleaning the lube from his cock and pulled on his pants. Sitting on the bed he took another look around the room. It was still strange to try to imagine Tony growing up in here. 

A thought occurred to him. "So this is where you built Jarvis?"

Tony smiled. "Yeah, right there." He pointed to a desk buried between the half complete robot and a stack of what looked like hard drives. 

He stood, pulling Tony into a hug. "Have I mentioned lately how fucking amazing you are?" He asked.

"Hmm. Maybe not lately. No." Tony said, a smile spreading over his lips.

"Well you are, and I love you."

"I love you too." Tony said, before pressing a kiss into his lips.

It was another twenty minutes before they finally broke apart to continue the tour. The next door over was a large bathroom which Tony said he had hated as a kid because he had to leave his room to get to it. A guest bedroom was next, they didn't spend long in the room. Honestly it didn't look like it had ever even been used. 

The next door over Tony declared 'the room Pepper stayed in the two times she actually stayed here'. It looked exactly like the other guest room with the exception of a connected bathroom which he only glanced in.

"This would be our room." Tony said opening the final door which lead into a massive master bedroom. The right side of the room was taken up with a seating area complete with two couches, a coffee table and a massive TV and a desk. The far right wall was dominated by a huge four poster bed with soft cloth covering the canopy. 

Tony guided him through to the bathroom. The room was all marble with a shower big enough for both of them with plenty of room to spare. A soaker tub, that also looked big enough to fit them both, took up a corner.

Tony wandered back into the bedroom and sat on the bed. He followed, stopping in front of Tony. Tony's head dropped to his chest. He ran in fingers through Tony's hair. "Would you be okay?" He asked softly. "Being back here I mean."

Tony tipped his head back until Tony's chin rested on his chest. "I think so." Tony said quietly. "Make some changes. Less fancy more livable."

He nodded. The house could definitely do with some modifications. He pressed a kiss into Tony's forehead. "Ready to go home for now?" He asked softly. Tony nodded.

He stepped back giving Tony the space to stand. When they descended the stairs he heard several people chatting at the kitchen table. Happy and Mama had been joined by Tobin as well as a man and woman. They looked to be in their late forties. Tony introduced them at the Jacobs' who took care of the grounds. Tony seemed relaxed with them like he was when Mama which made him really wonder about Tobin. After a quick chat Tony told everyone goodbye and that they might be back again soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. I was getting some really strange comments on another fic and it kind of threw off my posting mojo. I'm back now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Tony

Climbing back into the plane was more than a little relieving. After so many years away he hadn't expected to remember things so strongly or feel them so acutely. Sitting in the cockpit felt like a weight lifting off his shoulders. Still he couldn't deny the thought of comply completely redoing the house was an interesting one, ripping out everything he'd always detested and making it his own.

"So what's with you and Tobin?" Bucky's question pulled him out of his musings. Instinctively his eyes scanned the dials but in spite of his lack of attention he'd gotten them safely in the air and heading home without even noticing. 

"We've never seen eye to eye." He said absently. Tobin had been Howard's last hire-on before his death and while he didn't like Tobin as a person he could not deny the man kept things running like clockwork. And so near as he could tell the rest of the staff loved him, so he couldn't just fire the man. 

As if hearing that line of thought Bucky asked, "Then why keep him?"

"He does his job and does it well. He's probably the best we've ever had at keeping things going. I hadn't been at that house in more than five years and it looked like I'd left yesterday. He's a good worker, I just don't like him personally."

Bucky nodded, hand slipping over to grab his. He smiled at the contact. "So what now?" Bucky asked after several long minutes.

"Now we go home, we relax, and we wait." 

Bucky's head fell back. "Is it bad I hope she gets removed? I don't want her to be in a situation where she has to be, and I want her to have a say but at the same time after what Katherine told me about the actual custody process." Bucky groaned. "I'm a shit parent. Who wishes that on their child?"

"You're not shit." He assured him, squeezing his fingers. "I don't have any idea about the custody process but I'm sure it's stressful for everyone involved." Bucky nodded. "Whatever happens we can get through it." He said softly.

Correcting course slightly he focused on the expanse of sky before them. Was he really ready to have a kid running around? Too late now to back out. Still what if he was just like Howard? He already looked like him, maybe he will treat kids the same way too. He closed his eyes against that fear. He couldn't do anything but promise himself to do better than how he was raised. Maybe it would help, maybe not but it was the best he could do now.

Bucky haven't spoken again since the plane. He stretched on the couch, Pepper walking him through what was possibly the millionth thing today. He tried hard not to groan as a new order of business appeared on her tablet. She was going to drown him under a sea of digital paperwork. This would be how it ended. Maybe she could have the final file chiseled into his headstone so if he ever came back from the dead he could sign it.

He snorted at the image. Pepper's eyebrow rose dangerously high. Shit what had she been talking about? This quarter…something. Shit! He opened his mouth but Bucky's voice saved him from getting reemed.

"Pepper? Would you be okay moving back into the Stark estate?" His eyes snapped to Buck's at the same time as Pepper spun to look at him. Even without seeing her face he'd spent more than enough time around her expression. 

"I… Are you moving back there?" She turned to look back at him.

"HQ is no place to raise a kid." He tried to keep the tone nonchalant but fuck he felt anything but. He could feel her eyes searching him. He knew she could see it, how nervous he was, how far out of his depth he was. He silently begged her not to draw attention to it. Bucky was already so stressed. He didn't need more of it.

She turned to look back at Bucky, "Of course." He felt the tension that had been building in his chest lessen some. "I can't expect Tony to run SI even when he's living here. It is the only way I will get anything done."

"Shit Buck we've been infiltrated! Quick we need an alternative plan!"

Whatever playful response Bucky had coming died in his throat as a shill electronic ring came from Bucky's pocket. The man's face went ghost white and he scrambled for his phone. "James speaking." Bucky answered, his voice thin. "Yes." "Yes...I" "Of course." "Thank you." Bucky closed the phone. "They want me to come sign some paperwork and pick her up." Bucky said his voice still tight.

"Did they say why?" He'd looked up the reasons children could be removed, and some..all but one or two were horrible.

Bucky shook his head. "I. I should probably go alone. Don't want to get mobbed."

"Take Happy with you." Bucky nodded and stood. He jumped up too, pulling the taller man into a hug. Bucky clung to him tightly. "Love you." He whispered into Bucky's ear. 

"Tony I'm scared." He was glad to tucked into Bucky's chest or the other man might have seen the surprise at the quiet admission. 

"Don't be scared. You're the best Dad ever and we will get through whatever is going on."

Bucky nodded. "Love you too. I'll be back soon. I hope." With one final squeeze Bucky slipped away, out of the elevator. 

"J make sure Happy knows."

"He is already en route to the garage." Jarvis answered.

He dropped heavily into the couch. Pepper stood and sat next to him. He leaned, angling himself so his head could rest on her petite shoulder. "Tony, are you sure about this?" She asked, her hand gently folding around his.

He let out a laugh which sounded far more hysterical than the confidence he'd been going for. "No. Never been less sure in my life." He took a slow breath. "But. I love him. And I want to be with him. And RJ is a big part of that. Hell she's probably the reason I'm alive. Otherwise he'd have had no reason not to turn my ass in for a stack of money. I just...after Howard. I never wanted. Damn it Pep what if I'm just like him?" He forced the fear over his leadening tongue before he could stop it.

Pepper listened and waited for several moments before speaking. "You're not Howard Tony. You've never been him, no matter what the media thinks. You are your own person. You won't be going through it alone. W--"

"I can't bother Bucky with this! You saw him. He's so stressed on his own he's barely coping!" He started to stand but Pepper's hand tightened on his, pulling him back down.

"I will be there. Mama will be there. The Jacobs' will be there. You won't be alone Tony. Everything will be okay."

"Fuck, what if they took her because something was really wrong? What if she was beaten or..or starved or” …some of the other reasons flashed through his mind that he simply couldn't voice.

Pepper's eyes held his for several long moments before she spoke in a quiet kind voice. "Then you might be just the person she needs, considering your childhood."

He opened his mouth to speak but the words began to sink in. Of course that made sense. Even while reading online he'd been able to put a memory to most of the bulleted reasons on the list. While it didn't make it right, somehow he felt better. He could remember what it was to be hit or go hungry. Even across the intervening years he could remember what he'd have wanted more than anything then. If he could just do that. 

"How do you even talk to kids?" He asked.

"Tony you've talked to hundreds of kids."

"Yeah but I got to give those one back! If I said something wrong, their  _ parents _ had hopefully had already taught them it was wrong! Now I'm stuck. What if I fuck her up? What if she turns out like me and it's all my fault?"

"Like you how Tony?" Pepper's fingers caught his chin, pulling his face around. "A genius billionaire who is terrified about a 5 year old coming to stay for fear of doing something wrong but who is also so loving and compassionate that he won't speak to the girl's father and risk adding more stress to the man he loves?"

"I...yeah."

"If she turns out even a fraction as smart and as caring as you I think everything will be just fine."

The elevator doors slid open and his heart skipped a beat. Taking a slow breath he stood waiting for the occupants to step out.

Bucky

He sat in the back in the Rolls Royce trying desperately not to hyperventilate as Happy wove through the city. The man who had called had been polite but uncomfortably vague. What if something was wrong? What is she was hurt and it was all his fault? His stomach rolled dangerously. He hated Tony not coming but he didn't exactly know where they were going and if the media caught on and RJ  _ was _ in bad shape. Fuck it would be all his fault.

Another car honked as Happy cut them off, dodging through the worst of the traffic with practiced ease. He closed his eyes, focusing on breathing. They came to a stop, and he heard Happy throw the car into park. They were here. His hands were shaking slightly so he stuffed them into his pockets as he walked into the building. 

It was bright inside. The walls were painted a cheery blue which did nothing to help him feel better. "Can I help you?" A woman at the desk asked.

"James Barnes? Here for Remi?" He asked. What if they had the wrong place?

But the woman smiled. "This way please." She said, guiding him back into a small room with a table. "Sheri will be right in." Before he could ask who Sheri was or why he needed to see her the door closed with a soft click. 

He groaned. One of the fluorescent bulbs above them hummed softly. He closed his eyes forcing himself to breathe. There was a soft knock on the door, then it opened. A woman in her forties with soft black frizzy hair and a warm smile stepped on. "Mr. Barnes?"

He stood offering his hand. "Ma'am." She smiled and shook it before sitting across from them.

"My name is Sheri White and I am the social worker assigned to Remi. It is my understanding the judge already signed off on her moving into your care?" He nodded. "It's always a relief when a child can go to a family member. I would like to bring you up to speed on a few things, and then there are some papers to sign. Okay?" He nodded.

"Remi, as a believe you know, was living with her birth mother. Based on my investigation, it appears she has been suffering under neglect for awhile. She is quite thin and lacks much of the normal muscle mass for a child her age. Her mother also made it very clear she was a flight risk while I was in the home. There were several kinds of drugs in the home but thankfully it appears Remi was not in contact with any controlled substances. She also has several bruises that both she and her mother insist are from falling accidents but are in areas more consistent with being struck. Her mother has been taken into custody for alleged child abuse. Remi is young enough that she should not have to testify but you might." He nodded feeling the meager contents of his stomach threatening to reappear.

"Due to these factors I am recommending you and anyone else in her direct care to attend classes on parenting effectively and parenting after neglect. I have some options here." She passed a pamphlet across the table. He took it with shaking fingers. "You should also expect multiple home visits in the following weeks and even the following years, to insure her improvement and continued well being." 

He nodded, tried to speak but no sound came out, swallowed and tried again. "Of...of course. Anything." He managed.

Sheri's hand slid across the table and rested on his. "James? She's very excited to see you." She said with a smile. He smiled back. 

"I am too." 

She opened a file, producing papers. "So just a few things before I turn you loose."

The paperwork thankfully went quick enough. Happy had to give him the address to the estate which turned out to be on fucking 'Stark Boulevard'. The woman's eyes widened slightly when she read it but she didn't comment. Finally the file folder closed and she stood. "I'll be right back."

Excitement warred along with anxiety and guilt as he waited in the room that was silent, save for the fucking humming light. When the door opened again he had enough time to catch a flash of brown before a voice squealed "Daddy!" and a small body crashed into him. Thin arms snaked around his neck. He folded his arms around the tiny form and lifted her into his lap. He was fairly confident he was crying but he couldn't be bothered to stop. She felt light, too light. His mind began to conjure images of his little girl, face skeletal as Tony's had been. 

He didn't know how long they stayed that way, her buried into his shoulder before finally she leaned back enough he could see her. Eyes bright blue with flecks of green caught his. Her hair, he noticed at once, which had been previously down to her waist had been hacked short enough she could pass for a boy. She was thin but thankfully nowhere near as thin as he'd been worried about. "Ready to go home?" He asked her softly and she nodded and her arms tightened around his neck. He stood, easily supporting her with his metal arm. 

Sheri passed him a light green backpack and a file folder. "I will see you soon Remi." She said before smiling at him.

"Bye Mrs. White." Remi replied, her voice muffled as she buried back into his neck. 

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, we've given your driver her booster seat. Do you know how to buckle her in?"

"Yes. Thank you." It was a lie but he didn't care. He wanted her home now. Safe and home. He carried her down the hall and out. Happy was strapping the booster into the back seat and smiled at them as he stepped out. When he tried to set RJ in her seat, the arms around his neck tightened. "I'll sit right next to you." He promised. She lifted her head to look around, her eyes landing on Happy.

"That's Happy. He's a friend of mine." She blinked at him then buried her face back in his neck. RJ had never been shy before but then who knows what had happened since then. He pressed a kiss into her hair. "Gotta get in your seat if you want to come see where we will be living."

There was a long pause before RJ spoke in the tiniest voice he'd ever heard, "We aren't going back to Mommy's right?"

His stomach clenched. "No sweetheart. We might not see Mommy again for a long time." His heart hammered as he waited but it seemed to be the right answer. RJ slowly loosened her grip until he could set her down gently. She quickly buckled herself into the booster seat. 

"Mrs. White showed me how." She said softly, sounding pleased. 

"Great job." He said, kissing her head before crossing behind the car to climb in. He settled into the middle seat and buckled in. She reached for his arm then stopped. Confusion flashed through his mind and was just as quickly pushed back by realization. She'd been reaching for his metal arm. The one she'd never been allowed to touch. "It's okay." He said.

She reached out and touched his arm. Slowly she ran her hand over the metal plate then tentatively along the lines between the plates. Her hand looked so small and pale against the cool metal. He glanced up at her face which was lined with concentration. Eyes the same shape and color as his. Same mouth too. Definitely her mother's cheek bones though. He took in every detail, committed it to memory like he was seeing her for the first time again.

He was smelling something, he noticed. Cigarettes. He frowned, eyes flickering to the front seat, but Happy wasn't smoking, and the car hadn't smelled like it on the way there. He turned, the small backpack sat next to him. Even as he turned his head he could smell it getting stronger. "Rems, what's in here?" He asked, gesturing to the bag. He'd assumed it was something the care center had put together for Remi but now he had to wonder if it wasn't from Jess' house.

Remi looked hesitantly up at Happy but after some gentle prompting, spoke. "My stuff. From Mommy's."

That was all going to need one hell of a wash. But then, "Are those clothes from Mommy's too?" He asked, gesturing to what she was wearing. 

RJ shook her head. "My clothes were all dirty so Mrs. White was gonna wash them and bring them to me." 

Well that explained why she didn't smell at least. "Daddy, where are we going?" She asked, her eyes on the passing cars, as her fingers continued to run over his arm.

"Right now we are going to a big tall building. I have some friends there who are going to be staying with us. It's pretty late so we will probably stay there overnight. But then tomorrow we will get on a plane and fly to our new house." He spent the rest of the car ride describing the plane ride and Stark estate in as much detail as he could. Remi's eyes were wide as he spoke, drinking in every word.

They parked in the garage and he grabbed the bag and folder before coming around to Remi's door. She was struggling to unbuckle herself. He didn't try to take over or rush. He could still remember her entering the 'No I do it!' phase and was in no hurry to check if that was still a thing. As soon as she managed to unbuckle herself she held her arms to him. He easily lifted her with his metal arm and carried her to the elevator.

Once inside she allowed herself to be set down and collected the backpack from him. She pulled it on and stood with a resolute confidence that shouldn't be possible at her age. When the elevator moved without promoting however he could see her eyes get large. 

Before he could explain about Jarvis however the doors opened to the apartment. RJ stepped out, eyes searching the room, before landing on Tony. For a split second the two stared at one another then Remi was across the room and swinging, as she screamed "You hurt my Daddy!"

Fuck! He shot across the room and pulled the Remi's tiny frame off Tony who looked far more shocked than hurt. Remi was crying and struggling angrily against him. Of course it all made sense. He'd heard how Jess had talked about Tony. How it was Tony's fault their family fell apart and back then he'd agreed heartily. He carried her down the hall and into the bedroom. 'Sorry.' he mouthed at Tony before stepping in and shutting the door.

He toed off his shoes and crawled onto the bed, clutching RJ who was no longer struggling and instead was crying into his shirt. He held her, trying not to cry himself as the sobs broke across her small form. Finally the tears slowed to soft hiccups. He patted her back gently.

"Why is he here?" She demanded. "He hurt you. He m..made you g..go away." The last words were barely intelligible as the tears began again. He held her tightly and rubbed her back.

"Remi, sweetie, I think you and I need to talk about some things." He said when she finally settled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Tony

He didn't know exactly what he'd expected to happen when the elevator doors opened. He was fairly confident given any amount of time that he could have come up with several thousand possibilities. He was also fairly confident that he never would have considered being pinned by eyes the exact same piercing blue as Bucky's and then promptly attacked by the owner of said eyes. Bucky at least looked as shocked as he felt as scooped up the tiny ball of fury and whisked her down the hall and into their bedroom.

Pepper had apparently managed to see the attack coming a moment before it started as she'd scooted far enough away to avoid the flurry of tiny blows. He stared down the hall. His chest hurt, she'd managed to peg the reactor a few times. She hated him. She knew he'd hurt Bucky and she hated him for it. 

Just like that the happy little world he'd been building in his mind crumpled. Bucky would leave, go back home with her. He wouldn't be alone at least. He thought as Pepper's hand returned on his. Still his stomach churned. Of course he should have known better. Everything he touched turned to ash. He had destroyed too many lives for a happy ending. 

"... resilient. I'm sure after Bucky…" he let Pepper's words roll over him, listening to the soothing pitch rather than absorbing their meaning. Should he still move to Stark estate? It was a project, one big enough to promise him plenty to do in the following weeks. Empty and upgrade Howard's lab, empty his old room, add Jarvis throughout the house.

But could he face those demons alone? Maybe not alone, Pep might still be willing to come. Still what was the point it not for Bucky and RJ. He might as well go back to Malibu. That would keep him busy too. He'd need to get the lab cleaned and repaired and set up Jarvis there. He-- 

The bedroom door opened. How was it possible for his heart to both jump and clench at the same time? Bucky stepped out, carrying RJ. Her head was laying on his shoulder. Was she asleep? No, one of her tiny hands was trailing over the metal of Buck's shoulder. No not asleep but not looking over at him either. Bucky crossed and sat opposite him, gently setting RJ on her feet at he did. 

She turned to look at him again. Fuck it wasn't fair that those fucking eyes were genetic. Though now that she wasn't actively trying to beat him up he could see flecks of green along the edges of the blue. "I'm not sorry I hit you, but I won't do it anymore. Daddy says you're not really the reason he went away and that you helped him a lot."

He blinked, not entirely sure how he was supposed to respond to something like that. "I promise I only want what's best for you and your Daddy." He said softly. "And I would never hurt him." He snapped his teeth on the automatic 'unless he wanted me to.' that tried to slip out. 

"You better not." She said before curling back into Bucky's arms.

"I promise he's not gonna hurt me pumpkin." Bucky said gently folding her against his chest.

His eyes met Bucky's over the top of her head. Bucky was humming wordlessly, and gently patting RJ's back. "I…am going to go make a phone call." He lied, standing and crossing down the hall to the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He paced the floor. This wasn't going to work. It couldn't work. How was he even supposed to fix this? He threaded a hand through his hair. How long would Bucky force her to deal with him until he decided it was enough and left?

A light knock on the door made him jump. "Yeah?" He said, expecting Pepper. Instead Bucky stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. In two strides he was buried in Bucky's arms and fuck if it wasn't exactly where he wanted to be. He clung tightly to Bucky's shirt. Before he could stop himself, before he could let the pain of his words touch his heart, he said, "Maybe you should take her and go. I don't think she's going to want to be around me." His heart clenched as the last words slipped out. It was the right thing to do. He knew that.

"We aren't going anywhere." Bucky said simply.

Relief threatened to wash over him. He pushed it back. "But she hates me." He whispered.

Bucky shrugged. "Jess told her you forced us apart, made her take RJ and leave. I explained what happened. It will take some time but she will love you too I'm sure." He closed his eyes, hoping against hope that Bucky was right. Still Buck knew RJ better than he did so if he said it would work maybe he knew?

"What if she doesn't?" He asked, anxiety still clawing at his chest.

"Then it's a big enough house we will work it out."

It wouldn't work. Deep in his heart he was sure it wouldn't. Still... "I'll call Tobin, have them straighten for tomorrow. Get my stuff out of the bedroom, that kinda thing."

Buck's arms remained locked around him. He buried his face into Bucky's shoulder. Fuck he didn't want to be alone. The thought hit him with enough force to stop the air in his chest for a moment. He didn't want to be alone. Not anymore. Never again. But at what cost? He couldn't force Bucky or RJ into a bad situation for his own selfishness. 

"Sounds good Tony." Bucky said softly, his arms loosening. It had been a long enough pause he had to stop and think about what he'd said. Tobin. Right. Call Tobin. He pulled out his phone. 

Tobin answered on the third ring, "Good evening Mr. Stark. How can I assist you today?" He asked calmly.

"I need you to box up everything in my old bedroom and put away any alcohol, tobacco or drugs in the pantry. I'll clean it out when we arrive."

"Very good Mr. Stark. When can we expect your arrival?"

"Tomorrow morning, maybe afternoon."

"Of course sir. We look forward to your return."

He hung up. Bucky stood a few feet away watching him. Now what? He took a slow breath and nodded. "All done." He told Bucky, hoping the other man would take over. As much as being in control normally calmed him he felt completely unmoored. Bucky, instead of offering the next step, crossed the space between them and pulled him into a crushing kiss. That he could get behind.

Bucky's hand slipped into his hair and fisted in his hair, pulling enough to pinch but not enough to break them apart. It was getting long. It would hang above his shoulders soon. It needed cut. His musings were cut short as Bucky's tongue began to demand entrance. Far be it for him to stop things. 

He forced himself to focus on the present, his hands gripping Buck's hips as his lips parted. He could feel Buck's cock taking interest through his jeans. They shouldn't--Bucky ground against him effectively cutting the thought. His hips jerked forward of their own accord.

They rutted against each other as their tongues battled for dominance. Bucky's hand slipped between them their bodies, his fingers working deftly on the buttons and zipper if his jeans. He groaned into Bucky's lips as the other man shoved his jeans and boxers out of the way to wrap around his cock. The coolness against his heated flesh made him moan again.

Buck's tongue slipped back and Bucky bit his bottom lip. At the same time the hand around his cock tightened slightly. The counter points of pain and pleasure sent lightning shooting down his spine. "Wanna fuck you." Bucky rumbled into the space between their lips.

"Fuck. Yes. Yes please." He nodded frantically, his forehead bumping Buck's in the limited space been them. Bucky turned him and slapped his ass with just enough force to sting. He barely swallowed another moan. He wasn't sure exactly  _ how _ soundproof the walls were and he wasn't interested in finding out. 

He pulled off his clothes as he crossed to the bed, and was nude by the time he was crawling up the mattress. He dropped face first into the mattress, ass in the air before realizing Bucky hadn't ever really done the prep before. He moved to sit up and grab the lube but Bucky's hand pressed between his shoulders, forcing him firmly back into the mattress. He stilled. 

He heard their side table open and the soft pop of the lube cap. "Roll over. I wanna see you." Bucky commanded, patting his hip gently. He rolled easily, then grabbed his knees, pulling his hips up. He felt the cool of a finger pressing against him and had only half a second to recognize it was metal before Bucky eased the first finger in. 

He didn't quite manage to bite back the moan as the unyielding metal slipped inside him. He was sore from that morning. He could feel his muscles instinctively trying to tighten but he forced himself to relax and enjoy the burn. No sooner had Bucky fully pressed in than the digit was slowly pulling out. He melted under the perfect mixture of pleasure and ache. 

By the fifth time Buck's finger slipped free he was going mad. He wanted more. More speed, more pressure, more fingers. Something. "Please?" He asked weakly. 

"Please what Tony?" Fuck! How was he purring like that? That wasn't fucking fair! “What is it love?”

"More?" He asked, hoping that would be enough. 

Bucky's finger curled just enough to brush over his prostate and with a soft whir of servos picked up speed. His head dropped heavily back into the pillows. The pleasure was building quickly. The only sounds in the room were their quick breaths and the constant movement of the servos. 

"Stop. Stop." He gasped, both to Bucky and to himself as his orgasm flared out of nowhere. Bucky stilled and his own hand grabbed the base of his cock, squeezing back the building pleasure. "I'm...okay. Just wanted to...finish with you in me." He panted.

Bucky smirked. "That can be arranged." The now warm metal slipped free of his ass and he felt the blunt head of Bucky's cock pressing into him. He groaned. It was decidedly bigger than Buck's finger but it felt amazing regardless. The burn tempered the pleasure as Bucky slipped in.

Bucky's hands batted his away, guiding his legs to rest on Bucky's shoulders. Buck's hand caught both of his wrists and pulled pining then firmly against his chest, just below the reactor. Bucky squeezed softly, the hold on his wrists tightening to just on the edge of painful. He tugged softly and moaned when he was unable to easily tug himself free. The mock restraints forced him to focus on the pleasure that still burned low in his stomach.

He hoped Bucky was close because he could probably finish with a stiff breeze, which he realized _ very _ belatedly was why Bucky had his hands pinned. If he was going to finish it wouldn't be with his hands helping out. He squirmed, trying to find an angle that have his cock any sort of friction, but Bucky's hand kept him still.

He whined softly in frustration. "Poor thing." Bucky purred. With a bit of shifting the head of Bucky's cock caught his prostate on the next thrust. He panted, his back arching of the bed at the wave of pleasure but still finishing stayed just out of reach. 

This however didn't seem to concern Bucky nearly as much as it did him. Instead Bucky began to pound into him with renewed speed. His mouth was open and he was fairly sure a steady stream of consciousness was pouring past his lips but he couldn't care. He was so close, so fucking close.

The tidal wave of pleasure took him completely by surprise. His mind whited out. He felt more than heard Bucky following him over, filling him for the second time that day. 

He wasn't sure how long he floated like that, only half aware of the world around him. The soft swipe of something warm over his chest made him blink. Bucky was kneeling next to him in the bed, gently cleaning his chest. He blinked slowly as his senses slotted back into place. 

When Bucky leaned back he sat slowly and smiled at Bucky. Bucky winked at him. "Shit Buck that was amazing." He mumbled, aware he still didn't sound quite coherent. 

"Good. I think we both needed it." Bucky said pressing a kiss into his hair. "Plus I will never pass up a chance to fuck that ass." Bucky's words shot straight to his cock which tried to rise again. 

He opened his mouth to speak when the reason they but needed it crashed down on him. "Fuck. Did you just leave her out there?" He asked suddenly, remembering his tiny attacker.

"She's asleep. Pep is watching her."

"Oh. Okay. I okay." He pushed his hands through his hair. "What are we going to do? I don't want her to hate me." He felt despair starting to creep back into his chest.

"Right now, you are going to get dressed, I'm going to wake her up, and you're going to suggest ordering pizza. That should put you on the fast track to 'not evil'." Bucky said pulling him into a hug. He closed his eyes, revealing for a moment in the warmth of Bucky's skin pressing against him.

"I can do that." He said when they broke apart. He pressed a quick kiss into Bucky's lips then stood and collected his clothes.

Pepper was reclining on the couch, tablet in hand. Tucked under her arm was a drowsy looking Remi. Her half open eyes were glued to whatever she and Pepper were watching. "Hi Daddy." She said blearily. Sitting up and rubbing her eyes as they approached.

"Hey pumpkin." Bucky said easily. As they entered the living room Bucky's hand slipped into his and held tight, forcing him to sit right next to Bucky on the couch. Bucky's arm slid around his shoulders as they settled in. RJ stood and crossed around the coffee table to curl up into Bucky's other side. "You getting hungry?" Bucky asked her softly. From around Bucky's stomach he could see the sleepy head nod.

"How about pizza?" He asked. The bright blue eyes lifted, surveying him with something like wary curiosity. 

"I like pizza." She said, eyes still on him. He smiled, trying not to feel completely out of depth as those eyes bore into him. It reminded him of the stare Bucky used to fix him with when he was trying to figure something out. As least she came by it honestly?

"Sounds good. What kind do you like?" He asked.

"Pepperoni." She said. 

"Pep I know that kind you want. Buck?" He asked, moving his gaze up to Bucky's face, while trying to ignore RJ's eyes which still stared at him. 

"I'm fine with Pepperoni too." Bucky said. 

"Okay J, order for us, add in one for Happy and let him know to bring it up when it gets here."

"Certainly." Jarvis answered.

RJ snapped up, eyes searching the room. 

"Is okay." He managed before Bucky could realize why she'd panicked. "It's just Jarvis. He's an A...a robot I made." His mind scrambled to modify the description so she could understand. "He listens and can help out if you have questions."

RJ wasn't looking around anymore. Her bright blue eyes watched him. "So where is he?" 

"He lives in my house in Malibu right now. Loads of...big computers. I'm going to move him to the new house soon, so I can show you sometime if you want."

"Will he listen to me?"

Jarvis answered instead, "Yes Miss Barnes."

Her eyes again searched when he spoke, this time zeroing in on the speaker above them. "Why does he talk from there?" She pointed up as she spoke.

"It's a speaker." 

She blinked up at the speaker for another moment before nodding and curling into Buck's side again.

Pepper passed over the tablet and Bucky thanked her before turning on whatever they had been watching. It was bright and colorful and he found his eyes drawn to it as they sat. He felt a mounting need to say  _ something _ but he couldn't even begin to know what it was. How the fuck was he going to do this? How could he make it through the next years when he'd only just barely, and with lots of help, made it through the last ten minutes?

The soft ding and whoosh of the elevator drew his attention away from the small screen. "Pizzas here." Happy said from behind them. Relief spread. Maybe after some food he could think of more to say. 

Happy, his arms laden with pizza boxes, crossed the room and sat next to Pepper. RJ took her personal pizza with awe, "This is all mine?"

Bucky nodded. "All yours. Just don't make yourself sick. We can always warm up leftovers."

She nodded while taking a big bite of the first piece. She ate through the first piece in relative silence but it seemed to open the flood gates. As she took a bite of the second piece she began to speak, not bothering to stop to chew as the words tumbled out around the mouthfuls of pizza.

"One time Mommy bought me a hhuuggee pizza. Like wayf bigger thanth all of these togeth', and she tol mef to only eat one pieth a day cause she was gonna be gone for a foo daths and see wanted me to hath food when she was gone bu one day I was ssuuppeerr hungry and I at two piecthes an I didn't hath any the day 'fore she got bath."

He blinked at Bucky. Surely he'd misheard her as she mumbled around the pizza she was continuing to inhale. Bucky's face looked pale and a little green. He'd stopped eating and was looking straight ahead with slightly unfocused eyes.

"How long was she gone pumpkin?" Bucky asked, his voice tight.

RJ shrugged, chewed and swallowed. "After that we always got pizza when she was gonna leave." She said with a smile before taking another big bite.

"How many times did she leave?" RJ tried to answer but couldn't get the words around the bite. "Chew first." Bucky prompted.

"Maybe like six? Or four?"

He could feel the tension building as Bucky nodded. He set his piece down on the box. Anxiety flushed through him. But this was Bucky. Bucky wouldn't hurt him. Bucky cared about him. He was mad, and understandably, but he wasn't mad at him. He was mad at Jess. He tried with minimal success to push out the panic as he waited. "Let me up RJ. I'm gonna run to the bathroom." RJ sat easily, letting him leave.

He watched Buck's retreat down the hall. He couldn’t begin to count the multiple times he'd been left alone at RJ's age. But then he'd never really been alone. The staff had been there to keep an eye on him. No matter how much they turned a blind eye to Howard's treatment they could have helped if he truly needed it. RJ had been completely alone.

Pepper broke the silence. "So RJ I was thinking sometime soon we could go shopping, get you some clothes and toys. Tony and your Dad could come if you want or it could just be girl time."

He stood as RJ pondered the idea and slipped down the hall. Bucky sat on their bed. He couldn't tell if Bucky had been crying and stopped or was just actively trying not to but his eyes were red-rimmed. He crossed to stand in front of him. Bucky flopped forward, his head landing just below the reactor as his arms snaked up around his waist. "It's my fault." Bucky whispered brokenly into his chest.

"I know it's hard. Believe me I know. Nothing's going to change the past Buck. All we can do is make the future better." 

Bucky nodded into his chest without speaking.

"Come on. Let's go back out there. She will need to go to bed soon right?" His eyes glanced at the clock. It was already 11. Kids didn't stay up later than 11 did they?

"Where will she sleep?" Bucky asked, head jerking up with a look of panic in his eyes.

"Those couches are pull outs. We can set one up." Bucky nodded and took a long breath before standing. He turned to leave but Buck's hand caught his arm.

"Tony. Thank you." He smiled and turned to sneak a quick kiss.

"Love you." He said easily, still reveling in the warmth the words sent through his chest.

"Love you too." Bucky said, leading the way to the door. As Bucky paused to open the door, he reached forward and pinched Buck's ass. The other man jumped in surprise and then turned to shove him playfully before stepping out into the hall.

RJ wasn't talking. Was she still eating? At the pace she'd been putting away that pizza he would be shocked if it wasn't gone. "Pick that you want sweetie and we will wash the rest." Pepper said as they rounded the corner.

RJ was crouched on the floor digging through her backpack. The putrid smell of old cigarette smoke was wafting from her bag. RJ seemed unconcerned about it which likely meant that was simply how she was used to things smelling. She turned when they entered. "Daddy, I'm too tired for a bath." She said quietly. 

"That's okay pumpkin. We will get you one in the morning, okay?" Bucky said. She nodded.

He set to pushing out the couch she'd been sitting on and pulling off the cushions. He could feel those bright blue eyes on him again. 

"Do you want to just wear these clothes?" Bucky asked, pulling on her shirt.

"No! I want the green ones!" RJ said as though the very idea of sleeping in regular clothes was blasphemy.

"This one?" Bucky asked, clearly pulling out something pink. 

"No Daddy! The  _ green _ ones."

"This?" The next item was yellow.

"No!" She said a smile spreading across her face as she caught on to the game.

"Green?" Bucky pulled out a shoe. RJ broke into a fit of laughter and pushed Buck's chest.

"G..GREEEENN..NNN!!" She said through her laughter.

"Oh! Green! Why didn't you just say so?" Bucky said pulling out green pajamas.

"I d..d.i..d!" She laughed.

"No I clearly heard shoe. Tony didn't you hear shoe?"

"Clear as day." He said and she turned and wrinkled her nose at him.

"You need your ears clean." She said.

"You need your mouth clean. Talking about shoes when it's clearly time for bed." Bucky said pulling her into a bear hug then tickling her. She shrieked with laughter and squirmed. He stopped, holding her close. "I missed you so much." He said softly, kissing her forehead. 

"I missed you too Daddy." She said, hugging him back.

He realized he'd completely stopped making the bed to watch the two of them. He turned back to it but RJ spoke to him.

"Tony, what're you doing?"

"Making this couch into a bed."

"Can I help?" She asked, eyes watching him.

He hesitated a moment. How much could someone her age help? He'd done this by himself at her age but he'd been different, strange. "Yeah sure." He said meeting Bucky's eyes and hoping he wasn't overstepping but Bucky smiled at him so he took it as a good sign.

She crossed to stand next to him, eyes looking over the couch. "Grab here," he grabbed the small handle, "then we will pull and back up." She nodded. Her tiny hand closed around the handle next to his. "Ready?" She nodded and he began to pull. With a series of soft clangs the mattress pulled out.

"Woah!" RJ stopped pulling to stare as the couch changed. "That so cool!" She said as he set the legs on the floor. She dropped to her hands and knees and crawled under the bed looking at the metal beneath.

"Come get changed RJ." Bucky said easily. She crawled back out and pulled off her shirt. "Need help?" Bucky asked but RJ shook her head so he passed her the shirt.

"This part goes in the back." She said, pointing at the tag.

"You're right. The tag goes in the back." Bucky smiled at her.

"I have these one pants that the tag is here." She pointed at her hip. "That one the tag doesn't go in the back. It's so silly." She laughed.

Bucky laughed along with her. In spite of saying she didn't need help RJ didn't complain when he held out her pants for her to step into. As soon as she was dressed she took off running. He watched as she ran circles around the living room before running up to the window. Carefully she reached out and touched the glass, tapping on it before stepping closer and looking down. In a flash she was back across the room and tucking into Bucky's arms. "We are really high up, huh?" Bucky said softly. She nodded. "Want to do look together?" She nodded again. Bucky lifted her up and carried her to the window.

A light touch on his arm pulled his attention away from them. Pepper smiled up at him. "Let's get the bed made." She said. He nodded and let her lead the way to the hall closet where the extra sheets were. 

"She seems really good in spite of everything." Pepper said in hushed tones. 

He nodded. "Hopefully she doesn't hate me forever."

"Give her time. Children can't hold hate for long." 

"So are the two of you going shopping?"

"The four of us, actually." Pepper said with a smile.

He sighed. "Guess I'm buying out a store for a few hours."

Pepper elbowed him. "You like it." 

He smirked. "Yeah well."

As they returned with the sheets RJ sprinted past them and down the hall.

"I thought it was bedtime?" He asked as she sprinted back past him again.

"Yeah well, you and RJ have about the same relationship with sleep so this is pretty normal."

He reached down pretending to grab at her as she ran by. She squealed and dodged. Once the bed was made up she did at least willingly get in it even if it was only to bounce on it.

"See you all in the morning." Pepper said, heading down the hall to her room.

"Night Pep." He said.

"Night Pep." A small voice echoed. 

Bucky sat next to bed. "Lay down RJ." He said. She sat with a huff that barely hid the massive yawn slipping from her. 

"Daddy will you sing?" 

Sing? He looked at Buck in surprise. Bucky however just smiled.

"Only when you lay down."

RJ dropped immediately, curling under the covers, head on a pillow that was probably as big as she was. Bucky passed her a stuffed dog which stunk like her clothes but she clutched close anyway.

Bucky ran a hand over her face, gently pushing her hair out of her face. Buck's hand moved to rest between her shoulders and he began to sing in a warm rich tone. He was so surprised not only to hear Bucky sing but sing amazingly well that it took a few minutes to realize the song was in Romanian. He patted her back in time with the song.

It took far too short a time for RJ to fall asleep. He would have happily listen to Buck's voice all night. "J do you have any rain sounds you could play?"

Instead of answering the sound of rain filled the room. RJ shifted in her sleep and stilled. She looked so peaceful. Bucky kissed her forehead then stood. He followed Bucky to the bedroom.

"Where did you learn to sing like that?" He asked as soon as the door was closed.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? You sound like a fucking angel."

Bucky looked surprised for a moment and then fucking blushed. Fucking hell this man would be the death of him. He couldn't help but slide a hand into Bucky's hair and pull the man down for a kiss. When they broke apart Bucky said shyly, "I'll not  _ that _ good."

"No no. Fuck that. You were amazing." He said, pulling off his shirt.

"It was a song my grandma used to sing." Bucky explained. "Oh, I'd keep at least your boxers on if not sleep pants."

"What? Why?" He asked, halfway through pulling off his boxers.

"Because when she wakes up at 5:30 or 6 guess where she is coming?"  _ 5:30? 6:00???  _ He groaned. "Don't worry. I'll get up with her, still though if the covers slip."

"Yeah yeah I get it." He mumbled wandering over to his dresser. "It's a good excuse to wear these." He pulled out the silk pajama pants he had stashed in the dresser. He tossed a pair to Buck.

"Are these  _ silk _ ?" Bucky asked incredulously.

"If it helps I did not buy them or ask for them."

Bucky snorted. "Well they are nice whoever got them got you."

"So Pepper talked to RJ and we are all going shopping together. I'll pay the store enough to lock up so we can shop alone. There's one by the estate Howard would buy out sometimes. It's got a loading bay we can drive into so we don't have to go outside where press could be. Figured if you and RJ are up to it we can tomorrow before we settle in for the day."

"Wait, you pay the store to close?"

"To the public, yeah. Keeps the press off you while you shop."

Bucky blinked at him a moment then spoke. "I...yeah. yeah of course that sounds good. I need clothes and RJ need clothes. Yeah. That will work."

"You okay?" He asked, feeling anxious at the reply.

"It's easy to forget how loaded you are sometimes." Bucky said with a smirk.

"I hope that's a good thing." 

"It is." Bucky pulled him into a hug. He curled as close as he could into Buck's chest. The stress of the day made him feel drained and heavy. Crawling into bed, the warmth of the blankets seemed to tug at his consciousness. It couldn't have been more than a minute before he was drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Bucky

He sensed more than heard the soft creak of the door. He rolled over. A tiny form stood in the doorway. RJ, clutching her stuffed animal, her tiny chest heaving. He considered getting up, going out in the living room with her but he felt so tired. "Hey pumpkin, nightmare?" He said. He woke up easily but Tony didn't have that same ability. Best he wake up as gently as possible. 

"Uh huh. Can I sleep with you?"

He heard Tony stir behind him. "Sure. Come on." He said. He'd planned to scoot over so she didn't have to lay between him and Tony but she shot across the room. The mattress bounced as she launched into the bed been them and crawled up the sheets. Tony's eyes were wide and unfocused as he blinked away sleep.

"Time's it?" Tony mumbled.

"It's okay. RJ just had a bad dream." He said calmly. "You can go back to sleep."

Tony blinked at him, then at RJ. While they spoke she'd managed to reach the head of the mattress, pull back the covers and crawl under them. She buried in his chest. "It's okay." Tony mumbled, reaching out to pat her back blearily.

He couldn't help but smile at Tony, too half asleep to even know what was going on but still willing to comfort others. RJ didn't seem to mind. In fact he caught her yawn as he shifted to get comfortable. He moved a hand to brush through her hair and watched as the panic eased away and her eyes drooped closed once more.

A sharp kick to the stomach made him jerk awake. Blinking he forced half awake eyes to focus. RJ had managed to turn almost sideways in her sleep. Her cheek rested on the corner of Tony's pillow. He was almost completely off the edge of the bed to accommodate the diagonal child between them. He shifted and closed his eyes, dropping back to sleep.

Quiet voices spoke close to him, one warm and deep, the other soft and small. Yawning he opened his eyes. "Oops!" He heard Tony whisper.

RJ turned to look at him. "Daddy look!" She said no longer whispering. He blinked again. RJ's fingers were delicately running over the arc reactor. "It protects Tony's heart." She said matter-of-factly, looking over at him with a smile then looking back at the reactor. Her fingers were carefully running over the metal and glass of the reactor. Even in the dim light he could still see bruising along the edges, faint and yellow now instead of black and purple at least.

"Did you know," he said, leaning forward until his hand joined hers, "that Tony is so smart he made one like this in a cave without the bad guys even knowing?" 

RJ spun to look at him eyes wide, "Bad guys?"

"Yup. They snatched Tony up and took him to a cave and told him he couldn't leave so he made this while they weren't looking and used it to escape."

RJ turned her wide eyes from him back to Tony, "you got away from the bad guys?" She asked.

Tony's smiled, eyes warm in the soft glow of the reactor. "That's right. I had to come home so your Daddy could help me fight one really really bad guy."

RJ's eyes darted from him to Tony and back again. "You helped Tony fight a bad guy? Was it the war?" She finally settled on asking him.

"No baby. It was a different kind of bad guy." He said, gently smoothing her sleep frizzy hair. The static made it reach out to him fingers rather than smoothing. "We are safe now."

Tony nodded. "Daddy, are you and Tony married?" She asked, turning to look back at him. He choked on his tongue as his eyes locked to Tony's for a moment. He hadn't really considered actually spending the rest of his life with Tony. It wasn't a bad thought honestly. He looked back at RJ.

"No baby girl. We aren't married." He managed weakly.

"Are you dating?" She pressed.

"Yes." Tony's answer brought his eyes back up to meet Tony's.

"Yes." He echoed, catching the smile that spread across Tony's lips. 

"Oh. Okay!" She said brightly. "Can you make waffles?" 

He snorted. "Yeah pumpkin I can make waffles. Tony you ready to get up or you want to go back to sleep?"

"And miss the waffles?" Tony asked with a wink. 

"Go get your bag we will find you some clothes." He told RJ. She hopped up and trotted over to the door.

"That reminds me." Tony grabbed his phone from the nightstand. He prepared to dial but stopped. "Fuck are you aware what time it is?" He groaned.

"5:30 to 6ish?"

"5:56" Tony groaned as if the hour personally offended him. "The  _ only _ time I'm awake at 5:56 is when I didn't actually sleep the night before."

He laughed as RJ returned carrying her backpack. The smell continued to cling to it. He would be so happy to get her new things. He knelt to help her into jeans that ended up being tight enough they couldn't button and a pink shirt with a cat on it that looked more like an adult small than anything meant for a child. RJ seemed unconcerned and since she didn't have anything else packed it was the best they could do. 

"Go to the living room, we will be there in a minute." He told her softly and she happily darted off. "So how did you end up talking to her about the reactor?" He asked pulling off the borrowed pajama pants. 

Tony smirked. "She woke me up to ask why I had a night light in my chest and if I could turn it off." He stared a moment, struggling to process through Tony's words then he broke into laughter. "It's not funny!" Tony whined, even as he struggled to hold back his own laughter. 

"Nightlight….Fuck...that's what...I'm calling it now." He finally managed through the laughter, wiping his eyes as he spoke. He looked up at Tony. Tony was watching him with a strange expression on his face. "...what?" He asked.

Tony closed the space between them, snaking one arm behind his back and the other into his hair. "I love you so fucking much." Tony murmured before pulling him into a kiss. His mind was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that Tony was completely naked, his body pressed hot against him. 

He slipped the metal arm down Tony's ribs and across his back. Tony moaned softly into his lips. Against his hip he could feel Tony's cock beginning to fill. They didn't have time for this. RJ would come looking for them. They needed to get dressed.

Tony ground into him as his hand settled on the small of Tony's back. They needed to stop. "Tony we can't." He said, resolutely ignoring how breathless he sounded.

Tony whined trying to catch his lips again as his hips continued to move, chasing friction. With a sigh he reached down and slipped both hands under Tony's ass and lifted. Tony immediately seemed to understand and allowed himself to be lifted, Tony's legs wrapping tightly around his waist. He carried Tony across the bedroom and into the bathroom, setting him on the counter. He closed the door behind them and rested his foot against the door. That should at least prevent any interruptions. 

With Tony sitting on the counter he was amused to find they were the same height. He considered commenting but somehow he thought it might ruin the mood. Instead he slipped the metal hand between them, wrapping around both their cocks. He went still. Tony's lust blown eyes went from his hand to his eyes and back again.

"If you want to come you better get to it." He purred. With a flash of understanding Tony began to thrust frantically into his hand. He closed his eyes, head dropping back at the friction. Tony's hands moved to his shoulders and he shifted slightly getting a better angle before continuing to move. He leaned closer and caught Tony's lips with his, effectively cutting off the litany of moans and whispers that filled the quiet bathroom.

He was already close. The desperation with which Tony rutted into his hand was driving him to the edge far faster than he'd anticipated. Still if the stuttering rhythm of Tony's movements were any indication Tony wasn't far off.

"Getting close?" He purred.

"Fuck. Yes. So close."

"Fucking love my hand on you don't you?" He couldn't keep the gentle teasing from his lips.

"Yes. Fuck. Bucky. Fuck." He felt Tony shudder an instant before he felt Tony's cock pulse against his and his own orgasm washed over him. He panted, his forehead dropping to Tony's as his legs struggled to hold him up.

He kissed Tony's forehead softly. "Love you too." He murmured. "We… We need to get dressed. If RJ isn't in here by now it's probably because she's into something out there." 

Tony snorted. "Fine fine."

Tony pressed against him until he stepped back and Tony could slide down onto the floor. He grabbed a washcloth and got it damp before washing himself off. Tony held out a hand for the washcloth but he batted it away and wiped Tony down too.

Tony looked surprised but then relaxed as he cleaned him up. As much as he hated the reason why Tony looked surprised when he went out of his way to take care of him, he couldn't deny loving the relaxed happiness that followed.

He dressed in record time and slipped out into the living room. He was relieved to see that while RJ had gotten into something it was only the tablet she'd been watching last night. The same show was playing. "Daddy!" She squealed, darting over to hug him. "I missed you." 

He glanced at the clock. She couldn't have been alone more than fifteen minutes. Still he smiled all the same. "Missed you too. Ready for those waffles?" She jumped happily.

"Yes yes yes!" 

"Are you gonna help?" He asked with a smile. 

She looked wide eyed. "I can help?" 

"Sure pumpkin. Come over here." 

He grabbed a bar stool and set it in the kitchen so she could reach the counter. He lifted her, trying again to ignore just how light she was. He was pulling out ingredients when Tony entered the kitchen. "Morning." He said easily, slipping an arm around him for a quick kiss. 

"Hi Tony!" She said smiling.

"RJ?! When did you get so tall?" Tony asked, smiling. 

He couldn't help but smile along as RJ dissolved into giggles. "I'm on a  _ chair!" _ She said.

"Chair?! Where??" Tony pretended to look around and RJ's giggles increased and she slapped the seat of the stool. "Ooh!  _ Now _ I see it." Tony said dramatically.

"Tony you're so silly." She told him.

He could see some tension in Tony's posture ease as Tony walked by. 

"Tony? How come I can't see the light?" She asked, eyes following him.

"Hmm? Oh. I have on two shirts." Tony said. Lifting the Black Sabbath shirt to show a black undershirt.

"Two shirts?!" RJ was laughing again.

"Yup. Listen." Tony said when she finally calmed down. "The light? It's super secret so you can't tell anyone about it. Promise?"

RJ looked at him, her brows knitting together in concentration. "Promise." She said solemnly.

Tony smiled at her. "Tony want to chop up some fruit while we make the waffles?" He asked. 

"Sure." Tony said rummaging in the fridge.

He handed RJ a wooden spoon. "And I need your help pouring and stirring." RJ grinned at him. He kissed her forehead before starting to measure the flour.

As he passed RJ the last measuring cup to pour in he heard the sound of footsteps down the hall. Pepper, fully dressed but only looking half awake stepped into the kitchen and froze. Her eyes traveled over him, to RJ who was carefully mixing with the big wooden spoon over to Tony.

"Morning!" He said with a smile.

RJ and Tony both looked up then chorused, "Morning!"

"Tony… Did you sleep?" Pepper asked uncertainly.

"Yup!" Tony said with a smile before returning to his chopping.

"Jarvis?" She asked.

"Sir slept for seven hours and fifteen minutes, Ms. Potts." Jarvis answered. He watched Pepper stare as if Tony had sprouted a second head. He couldn't help but laugh. 

"What's so funny?" RJ asked, clearly excited to be in on the joke. 

"Nothing sweetie I just don't think Tony's woken up this early since he was your age." 

"Told you no one would believe it was really me if I started getting up early!" Tony said accusingly. 

He snorted. "Somehow I think you'll survive." He said. 

Pepper poured herself a cup of coffee and sat on the couch. "Hey Pep can you call Walter and see about getting the store for a few hours this afternoon?" Tony asked, cleaning off the knife.

"Who is Walter?" RJ asked.

"Is that today? I'll call him now." She said grabbing her phone and retreating down the hall. He heard her greet Walter as the door to her room closed.

"Walter owns a big store that we are going to go shopping in today." Tony answered. 

RJ's eyes lit up. "What are we gonna get? Do I get to come too?"

He tried to ignore the pain his chest at the hopefulness in her tone.

"Of course you're coming." Tony said with a smile. "You have to pick out new clothes and toys and stuff for your room." RJ looked ready to burst. 

"Really??!" She asked, eyes glued to Tony's face.

"Yes, really." Tony said. She squealed and bounced on the stool.

As he carefully eased the last waffle out of the waffle iron Pepper returned. "He gave us from noon to close." She said easily, returning to her spot. "I have a few meetings this morning before we leave since I won't be here at HQ every day anymore but then I'll be ready after that."

The morning seemed to fly by. RJ ate what could only be described as a mountain of waffles before stretching out on the couch and playing on the tablet. Tony set up a few games on the device and she was hooked. Pepper's return set of a flurry of movement. He helped RJ get her things packed while Tony and Pepper packed their own bags. Down in the garage Happy was waiting for them.

"Have you ever been on a plane before RJ?" Pepper asked from the front seat. 

"No." RJ answered, she was watching out the front window as they drove. 

"It will be fun then. Like an adventure!" RJ nodded enthusiastically. Even with the roomy back seat she was still sandwiched between Tony and him. She didn't seem to mind at least. The tiny bag at her feet made the whole car stink and he was relieved they were getting her new clothes.

When Happy pulled up to the hanger a plane was already sitting on the runway. Instead of pulling next to the plane Happy pulled around behind it and then much to both his and RJ's surprise drove up a ramp on the back of the plane. "Wwhhooaaa." RJ breathed as her head shot back and forth as she tried to see everything all at once.

Happy slowed, carefully maneuvering the car until the front wheels dropped into that he could only guess was something to help secure the car into the cargo hold of the plane. Tony hopped out looking as if this was the most normal thing in the world. Then for Tony, it probably was. He focused on getting RJ unbuckled. In her fascination of the plane, he was able to get her unfastened and pick her up without her noticing she wasn't being independent. 

Tony and Happy were using red straps to secure the tires. RJ squirmed in his arms, still trying to look around fast enough to see everything. He followed Pepper into the plane and through a door. 

The change was startling. Where the back of the plane was almost militaristic with it's bare metal the front of the plane was obviously made for luxury. Long overstuffed couches lined both walls. The flooring was soft thick carpet. He set RJ down. She immediately began to explore, first walking the floor then climbing up on the couches to look out all the windows. Pepper had settled into what looked like a booth seat pulled from a restaurant. Two wooden benches with thick cushions sat on either side of a wooden table. This plane, he noticed, lacked the fully stocked bar.

RJ climbed up into the bench seat across from Pepper to look out the window next to the seat. "You excited to fly?" Pepper asked.

RJ nodded but her little eyes seemed overly wide. He considered going and picking her up again but he held off. If she came to him she needed comfort, otherwise best to let her work through it. 

The door opened again and Happy and Tony stepped into the front of the plane. "Everyone ready?" Tony asked, a hand squeezing his shoulder as Tony passed.

"Ready when you are." He said to Tony. Then turning to RJ "want to come watch Tony fly the plane?" He asked. RJ nodded, eyes wide and followed him.

"Whoa." She breathed again, eyes roving over the dials and switches that covered the cockpit. She reached out, grabbed the closest switch then dropped it quickly, eyes darting to them as if worried she'd get in trouble.

Instead Tony asked, "Want to turn it on for us?"

RJ's head bobbed wildly as she darted forward to the controls. He sat and Tony edged around her to do the same. "So right here." Tony carefully guided her. When the plane roared to life she giggled, equal parts pleased and nervous. 

"Good job." He told her, smiling. She looked back at him and smiled too.

"I'll get her in the air and then maybe you can help me drive a bit." Tony said with a wink.

"Come sit with me." He told RJ. She scrambled up onto into his lap and he wrapped his arms around her. Tony guided the plane into the runway and spoke briefly with ground control.

"Here we go!" Tony said with a smile. As they picked up speed, RJ's small hands wrapped around his metal fingers clutching them tightly. 

"I've got you." He said softly. She scrambled to tighten her hold as they began to lift off the ground. As they climbed her grip relaxed as the changing view distracted her completely. They broke through the clouds and RJ slid off his lap to lean closer to the window, though one of her hands remained tightly clutching his fingers.

"Daddy it looks like snow!" She said, pointing at the pillowy clouds beneath them.

"Your right." He said, leaning forward and kissing her head.

She turned to smile at him before looking back out the window. Breaks in the clouds revealed the Earth far below and she seemed equally fascinated by the brief glimpses. "Want to try flying?" Tony asked softly. 

RJ nodded enthusiastically. She carefully slipped around his knee, her hand tightening on his fingers for stability. She held out her free hand which Tony took with a look of surprise. If he'd looked surprised when she grabbed his hand he looked positively shocked when, after taking it, she climbed into his lap.

"O...okay so you want to…" he couldn't help but smile at the happiness that spread over Tony's face. He'd been so worried last night that she'd hate him forever. He watched Tony carefully guide her hands. "Now, like this." And the plane turned.

RJ squealed with excitement before repeating the movement again. Her eyes were wide, but now with excitement rather than fear. She remained on Tony's lap, hands at the controls for the rest of the flight. She even 'helped' land though Tony's hands enveloped hers for that part. 

As soon as they'd completely stopped RJ tore into the back of the plane "Pepper! Pepper! Pepper!" He heard her squeal. "I got to fly the plane!!!" 

"You did?!" He heard Pepper answer. "You did so good I didn't even know! Isn't that amazing Happy?"

He heard Happy's voice but didn't quite make out the answer. "Thank you Tony." He said, leaning over to kiss Tony gently. "Told you she'd like you." He added with a smile.

"I...yeah of course. She actually did surprisingly well for her first time. You may have a pilot on your hands." Tony said, standing.

RJ was running circles around the back of the plane, arms out like a plane. "Come here." He said grabbing RJ as she ran by and lifting her over his head. She shrieked with laughter as he carried her in circles. "Let's go get this pilot some new clothes!" He said, 'flying' her out to the car.

RJ filled the drive from the airport to the shop with a constant stream of excited stories about 'driving the plane.' He tried to correct her once but then gave up and just listened. Her favorite part, which she happily retold four times, was when she'd made the plane go up and down through the clouds. 

The parking lot of the massive store as blocked off but as they pulled up an older man with silver hair waved at them. "Who's that?" RJ asked.

"That's Walter." Tony answered. "He's a friend of mine." Walter blocked the parking lot behind them and began to jog back towards the building. For a man that was obviously getting up in years, Walter seemed in remarkable shape. He caught up with them as Happy parked and didn't seem even remotely out of breath.

"Happy!" Walter greeted, shaking Happy's hand. "How have you been?"

"Good Walt. How about you? How's the missus?"

"Good! She's good. And Pepper, how are dear?" 

Pepper hugged him. "Good. Thanks again for accommodating us on such short notice." She answered.

"Of course. It's not like it's any hardship for me." He laughed. "And there he is, Tony. How have you been? I couldn't believe what I saw on the news. And Obadiah? I was shocked! Diana too. Still I'm just happy to see you're doing well." Walter pulled Tony into a hug. 

"Thank you. Everything with Obadiah has been difficult but he's pled guilty to everything, now that he's able to speak that is." He frowned. Did he know Obadiah had confessed? He should have known. He'd been so caught up with getting RJ back. He needed to do better. 

"And who is this little princess?" Walter crooned, his eyes settling in RJ who had finally gone silent on the face of the unknown man. 

Her nose scrunched. "I'm not a princess. I'm a warrior." She said firmly. He barely held back the snort of laughter at the look on Walter's face but the poor man took it in stride.

"My mistake! Who is this super powerful warrior?"

"My name is Remi." She said with a smile.

"Well it's very nice to meet you Remi." Walter smiled before turning to look at him. "And you are?"

"James. It's nice to meet you." He offered his hand which Walter shook. As they moved towards the front entrance Walter asked, "So what brings you in today?"

"We need to get Remi and her Daddy set up with a new wardrobe." Tony said easily. "And Remi needs new toys as well." RJ buried into his neck, apparently feeling shy after her introduction as they walked into the store.

Walter smiled easily. "As always, just let me know if you need me to order anything." He gave Tony's shoulder a squeeze before wandering off. 

It was the strangest thing having such a massive store completely to themselves. It somehow made the space feel even larger. The music which normally seemed so quiet felt oppressively loud. It seemed to reverberate off the walls and flooring.

Happy followed Walter and stuck up a conversation. "This way." Pepper instructed, guiding them easily through the store. Tony grabbed a cart and followed along. It was easy to see the transition to kids clothes, as the dark grey suits gave way to bright vivid colors. 

He set RJ down gently. The apprehension she'd been showing melted away as her eyes roved over the clothes. "How many can I have?" She asked tentatively. Before he could answer Tony spoke.

"As many as you want sweetie." Tony said. RJ squealed and shot through the racks. He was instantly glad they were alone. It took them a moment to find her again, standing in front of a soft blue shirt with a kitten on it. 

Pepper flipped through the shirts. "Looks like extra small right now." She said.

Tony nodded. "Anything we get grab a small too that way she can grow into it."

"Tony you don't have to--."

"Done." Pepper said, two shirts in hand. Before RJ could run off again Pepper grabbed her hand. "Let me show you how to make sure you don't miss anything." Remi nodded. Pepper guided her to the corner and showed her how to check rack by rack. Soon the cart was covered in a rainbow of shirts, jeans, socks, underwear, dresses, and pajamas. He'd given up trying to argue with Tony about the sheer volume of things being purchased. 

He helped measure her feet and they grabbed several pairs of shoes that would fit now and into the future. "Ready to look at toys?" Tony asked happily. RJ bounced and tried to dart off again but he caught her hand before she could. Once they got to the toy section he let her go. She shot off bouncing from toy to toy like a fucking pinball. Soon the clothes were only barely visible under the growing mountain of toys. 

She stopped in front of a literal wall of stuffed animals. He spotted the change in her expression a half second before she tried to run. He darted forward, catching her around the middle. It was all it took for her to fall apart. Tears streamed down her face as she began to sob at the top of her lungs. Her tiny fists swung at his chest. "You're okay." He whispered, arms carefully wrapping around her. 

RJ had always gotten overwhelmed easily. The doctor had assured them him at one point she was just sensitive but somehow he knew it probably related back to Jess' fucking horrible parenting. Tony looked horrified. "She just got a little overwhelmed." He promised as RJ wailed even louder. Tony nodded but still looked anxious.

He forced himself to focus back on RJ. He sat gently guiding her to sit next to him. She grabbed the nearest stuffed animal and hurled it at the wall. She grabbed another but he quickly caught her hand and removed the toy. "Remi, can you breathe with me?" He asked softly.

"No!" She screamed through the tears. He ignored it, gently resting a hand on her stomach, he took a slow breath. "No! No no no!" She screamed, trying to pry his hand away. He just continued to breathe slow and steady. "N..nn...noo." 

He closed his eyes as he felt the fight start to leave her. Slowly, the screaming softened until she cried her head resting on his shoulder. "Breathe." He whispered again. A small hand rested on the back of the hand resting on her stomach. Slowly, shakily she managed a deep breath which seemed to do nothing more than set her crying harder. 

Painstakingly slowly she managed to slow her breathing and her tears. "I know it's hard sometimes." He spoke gently. "When there are a lot of things happening it's easy to get overwhelmed." She nodded, sniffling softly into his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry I threw the bear." She said, her voice shaking as the tears tried to start again. 

"Hey. It's okay. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. It happens to everyone. Even grown ups."

"RJ." RJ turned to look at Tony. At some point the other man had knelt too so he was at eye level with them. "One time I had a really bad dream and your Daddy had to help me with my breathing too." 

RJ looked wide eyed from him back to Tony. "Really?"

"Yup! Everyone gets overwhelmed and needs help sometimes." 

RJ wiped her red rimmed eyes and nodded. Slowly she pulled back and he let her go easily. Instead of returning to shopping she shuffled over to Tony and held up her arms. Tony looked shocked but scooped her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. Tony's wide eyes held his but he smiled. "Gonna rest for awhile Pumpkin?"

A tiny muffled, "Yeah." Came from Tony's shirt.

"Think you can turn around and pick out a new stuffy first?" He asked.

She turned in Tony's arms enough to look over the massive wall of animals. After several moments deliberations, she pointed to a soft floppy snow leopard. He grabbed it off the shelf. "Just pull the tag. Walter won't mind." Tony said.

He pulled the ear tag off and passed it to Remi who tucked it under her arm before settling back into Tony's chest. Her free hand rested gently on the reactor. Tony still looked shocked but he was smiling too.

"Ready to get your clothes?" Pepper asked. He nodded. As she lead the way to men's he was certain he could hear Tony humming softly.

Finding clothes that fit him was thankfully easy. At some point Pepper stopped to collect the stuffed animal where it had fallen from RJ's sleeping fingers. Tony continued to force him to go find more clothes both insisting RJ was not too heavy and that he needed more to wear. 

"Is that enough yet?" He grumbled, dropping another three shirts into the cart.

"For now." Tony conceded. 

He snorted, grabbing the cart and turning it towards the check out. Happy and Walter were leaning against the register chatting as they approached. "Looks like the little warrior ran herself out." Walter grinned. 

He smiled too. "She sure did." Tony pulled his arm, guiding him back to the doors. Outside he was relieved to see no one was waiting for them. No reporters skidding into the parking lot. Their car remained the only one in the lot. Tony carefully passed RJ over so he could maneuver her into the booster seat. 

Once she was safely buckled he leaned back against the car door. "Thank you, Tony. For buying everything and helping with her and just everything." He pulled Tony into a hug. He could feel the smaller man smiling against his chest. "And you were so fucking cute with her. I  _ heard _ you humming."

"I would never!" Tony said, his voice full of mock offense. After a long pause Tony spoke again, voice suddenly quiet. "I'm just so scared I'm going to do something or say something like what Howard said to me and just ruin her for life." 

"You've been amazing with her so far. And besides, every parent says or does something wrong. It's just part of being human. Plus I know you well enough now to say I'm certain you could never be anything like Howard was with you."

The click of heels across the pavement signaled Pepper and Happy's return. "Tony." Pepper passed him the phone. "Colonel Rhodes." She said when he raised a questioning brow.

"Rhodey, hey!" Tony said. "The government finally give you leave or have you used that for the next foreseeable eternity during the time you were dead?"

"Really? I didn't know Pep brought you in on that. Yeah we are heading there now. See you soon." Tony closed the phone. "Why didn't you tell me Rhodey was helping get the lab moved?" He asked, passing the phone back to Pepper.

"The bots wouldn't go with anyone else. Dum-E went after someone with the blender when they tried to go down to move things."

Tony snorted. "With everything going on I forgot to call and tell them to stand down."

"He's helping oversee the removal and decommission of Howard's prototypes." Pepper added, a strange note of uncertainty in her normally confident voice.

Tony nodded. "Good." He sounded resolute. Happy finished loading the mountain of bags into the trunk. "Let's head home." 

The sound of car doors closing roused RJ who blinked sleepily. "Daddy?"

"Yes Pumpkin?"

"We aren't going to Mommy's house right?"

"No sweetie. We are going to our new house."

"With the big yard and the trees?" She asked, still blinking at him.

"Yes Pumpkin." She nodded and rested her cheek on his shoulder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter!!
> 
> For those who don't read through the comments I do have several more one shot ideas for this story that I plan to write in the semi nearish future! I am currently working on a FrostIron fic that I plan to start posting in December. Once the writing is done on that I will probably be right back here working on some new chapters for this!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to [Wolfloner ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner) and [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie) for keeping me sane through this and for encouraging my poor little anxiety brain to actually write and post my work. Love you both.
> 
> I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

Bucky

The drive to Stark Estates took a solid 40 minutes. The fact it took 10 minutes to get from the front gate to the house baffled him but at least they would definitely have some privacy. He gently rubbed RJ's arm. "RJ, wake up sweetie. We are almost home." RJ blinked, head lifting to look at the tree lined drive. 

"We live in a forest?" She asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

He smiled. "Not quite. But there are a lot of trees." A final turn finally bought the house into view. RJ's sleepy eyes widened almost comically as she took in the huge house. To the left side of the house a truck with a museum advertisement was parked. Standing next to it he recognized Rhodes in the distance along with 5 other men. 

"Pepper I need you to come notarize the agreement before you take off." Tony said. 

"No problem." 

"Is Howard's stuff going to a museum?" He asked. Somehow he'd expected Tony to melt it down or destroy it all somehow. 

"The Smithsonian has been on my back since he died wanting to take it. Howard worked in code so even if they display the designs they can't be remade or copied and honestly I'm just happy to see it gone."

He nodded. As soon as they stopped RJ unbuckled herself and climbed out of the car. "I've never even seen a yard this big!" She said. "It's the biggest yard ever!"

"RJ, unless Tony or I am with you, do not ever go into the trees, okay?" He said.

"Okay Daddy!" She said before sprinting out towards the edge of the trees. He watched as she ran massive circles in the fresh trimmed grass. By the fourth lap she was breathing heavily. 

"Come on Pumpkin, I'll show you your room." She nodded and followed him up the yard to the house. "You are going to love it. It's on the second floor and--"

The only warning he got was a shrill beep before he was pushed bodily out the door. "What the!" He turned to look. One of Tony's bots now stood, blocking the door. It was much larger than he'd realized just seeing the videos. It chirped menacingly at him as it's claw opened and closed.

"Tony?" He called. The bot clicked it's claw, considering him.

"Dum-E! Back up." Tony's voice sounded from inside the house. "Why are you not helping U? Back up!" Tony said firmly. The bot trundled backwards, claw down dejectedly. "If you don't quit harassing people I'm boxing you up and sending you to the museum too!" 

"I didn't realize how  _ big _ they were." He said softly.

"Daddy what was that?" RJ thankfully sounded more curious than scared.

"That's a robot Tony made." He said.

"Wow! Can it talk to?" She asked.

"Not like Jarvis. They talk in robot language. That's why he was beeping." He said.

RJ nodded. 

"They moved out all my old stuff, got new furniture put in and Happy brought all the bags up. I'm going to be busy with this for awhile but if you need me you know where I am."

From around the corner a shirll admonishing beep signaled the arrival of the second bot. U rounded the corner a gun clasped in his claw and several bags thrown over his arm. U rolled over to Dum-E and began to chirp rapidly at the other bot. When Dum-E answered he could swear he was able to understand the flow of conversation even if the language was unknown. 

RJ slipped past him to approach the arguing bots. Carefully she reached out and touched U. The bot paused mid scolding to turn. Dum-E too dropped his arm to examine her with curiosity. Dum-E's arm moved until the camera in the palm of his claw was angled directly at her face. Dum-E let out a series of beeps and Tony turned as if someone had called him. "That's RJ. She's going to be living with us."

RJ reached up, carefully feeling the prongs of the claw. "Can you say RJ?" she asked hopefully.

There was a long pause then Dum-E made two short chirps followed by one long whistling sound. RJ turned to Tony her eyes wide. "Did he say it? Did he say my name?" U repeated the short beeps then the long whistle.

"Yup! Sounds like that's your name." Tony said and RJ squealed and jumped. Dum-E's arm bounced up and down too as if sharing in her excitement. 

"Say Tony." RJ said, eyes still on Dum-E who immediately repeated the series of beeps that had made Tony turn around. RJ bounced gleefully. "Say Pepper!" A new series of beeps. "Say Happy!!" Again Dum-E answered. RJ squealed. "Daddy I love him!" She said hugging Dum-E's arm. 

Dum-E made a strange almost hum noise that he'd not heard before. "He loves you too." Tony said.

He glanced back at Tony who was grinning ear to ear at the exchange. "Tones?" He heard Rhodes call from down the hall.

"Coming!" Tony called. "Dum-E, you need to help U." Tony said firmly. Dum-E clicked his claw. "Fine, five minutes but then  _ go help." _ Dum-E chirped happily. 

The bot had dropped his arm down as low as possible and RJ was running her fingers over the metal and wires with interest. He really hadn't expected them to be so large. He felt silly now, of course they were big but actually seeing them. 

He heard the soft whir and hum of machine as U reappeared. As he watched the bot stopped in the doorway and offered the items he held to a person waiting outside. Once he was done instead of returning back U rolled over to them. 

Seeing them side by side he couldn't help feeling that U was more mature somehow, like the doting older brother always chasing after a wild younger sibling. Physically they looked the same which meant it had to be down to personality. He pushed that thought off. Robots didn't have personalities. Still he couldn't deny even how they acted was different. As Dum-E continued to get as low as possible for RJ to touch his arm U watched on as if monitoring. 

He reached out to touch U. The bot turned his claw to look at him. This close he could easily see the camera’s aperture focus on him. They just felt so alive, not like how machines moved but like animals were alive. It was amazing to see. 

"Come on Pumpkin, let's let the bots work. We can go check out your new room."

Dum-E made a sad sound at this but RJ leaped up in excitement. U made a series of beeps and Dum-E followed, claw hanging dejectedly as he went.

RJ took the stairs two at a time, bouncing the whole way up. "Which one is mine?!" She called from the top of the stairs. 

He waited to answer until he reached the top too. "In the bookcases." He said and she practically flew to the door and swung it open. Happy sat in the middle of a pile of boxes, removing the cardboard and twist ties from all the toys RJ had bought.

The room had a faint smell of paint. The walls were now a very soft sky blue. Tony's old bed had been completely replaced with a smaller bed with soft cream headboard and footboard. The furniture too had been replaced all matching the creme color. 

RJ spun back to look at him. "This is all my room?" She asked excitedly.

"Yup. All yours." She ran into the room, darted past Happy and launched into the bed. She stood, not quite bouncing but not quite still eyes surveying the bedroom.

The rest of the day flew by in a whirlwind of activity. He helped Happy open all RJ's new toys and get the room organized. Tony finished getting the last of the weapons cleared from Howard's shop just in time for a massive semi of parts and equipment arrived. Mama forced him to dinner under the threat of a wooden spoon.

RJ seemed particularly taken when Mama who happily told her stories all through dinner. The staff all seemed to love RJ. After dinner, she played with the robots awhile before he insisted on getting her into a bath.

As he dried her off he could see her eyes starting to droop. He carried her into the bedroom and helped her change into new pajamas that didn't stink like cigarettes. Grabbing a book from the shelf he sat next to her on the bed and began to read. 

Three pages in and he could hear her starting to snore softly. He continued for two more. He'd made the mistake of stopping before and getting her to sleep the second time was always much harder.

By the fifth page he was confident he could slip out without waking her. Setting the book back on the shelf he slipped out of the room. He closed the door carefully and headed for the lab. 

"Bucky." Mama's voice stopped him as he stepped off the stairs. She had a cloth and was cleaning the kitchen table.

"Hey Mama." He said moving into the kitchen.

"RJ is such a good little girl." She said, smiling at him. "It's wonderful to have a child here again." 

He smiled. "Thank you. I'm just so glad to have her back."

She smiled understandingly. "Tony said a social worker would visit?"

"Yeah probably several times just to be sure she's being taken care of. Her mother-"

"Hush." Mama scolded gently "No reason to bring that horrible woman up. RJ is home."

"Thank you. She adores you already." 

Mama smiled. "She makes me think of my youngest when she was that age. So smart and kind." 

"Thank you." He said. 

"Off you go. I've got to finish up and head to bed."

"Night Mama." He said with a smile.

"Goodnight."

He headed back towards the lab. It was strange how quickly the massive house was starting to feel like home. He didn't bother knocking as he stepped in to the lab. Tony was rolling a massive spool of wire that was taller than he was. He had pulled off his Black Sabbath shirt and wore only the black tank top that had been underneath. Tony's shoulders flexed and his eyes followed the tightening of muscle. Fuck. He felt his cock twitch in interest at the sight. When had he gotten on such a hair trigger? 

"Hey Tony." He said, his voice sounded huskier than he'd planned.

"Hey Buck." Tony turned then paused a smirk on his face. "What's the matter Buck? Like what you see?" He asked.

"Maybe just a bit." He said, smiling. 

Tony grinned before crossing to stand in front of him. "I mean, if it's just a bit I guess I need to get back to work…" he trailed off as he came to a stop a few steps away. 

"An argument could be made for a lot." He said.

"Hmm." Tony's eyes drifted down, then slowly back up. "Enough to do what I say?" Tony asked.

"I don't know about that." He winked.

"On your knees." Tony said. He blinked. Why would Tony want him on his knees? He wasn't exactly great at giving blow jobs. Maybe he-- "Stop thinking and just listen." Tony said softly. 

Hesitantly he sunk down to kneel on the cool tile. "Good." Fuck if that single word didn't shoot straight down to his cock. "Take off your shirt." Tony prompted. He did without question. Tony's eyes roved over his chest. He felt the urge to try to hide or cover the scars. It was stupid, Tony had seen them many times before but something about kneeling under the bright light made him feel more exposed.

Tony hummed appreciatively, and he lifted his head. Tony was rubbing himself through his jeans. He could easily see the dark outline of Tony's cock. 

"Pants off too I think. And underwear. All of it." He swallowed but followed the new command quickly. The tile felt even colder without the denim covering his skin.

Tony moved to stand directly in front of him, just close enough he could smell the faintest whisper of Tony's cologne. "So good." Tony's hand ran through his hair. "Remember when we talked about edging?" 

His eyes snapped up. Tony's were already almost black. He nodded. "Please?" He hadn't meant to say anything but the word slipped out anyway. Tony smiled.

"When you ask so sweetly." Tony's hand slipped down to grab his leaking cock, stroking it with slow firm movements that completely shorted out his brain. "Before we really start you have a decision." Tony said, his hand dropping away. He whined at the sudden lack of contact. "I can leave you like this which means you have to be careful not to slip up and touch yourself, or I can tie your arms and take that choice away."

His knee jerk reaction was not to be restrained but he didn't immediately voice it. He'd liked when he'd had to keep his hands on the headboard… He was taking too long, he was sure, but Tony seemed unconcerned with the delay.

He knew the answer, knew what he wanted but his lips seemed unwilling to answer. He closed his eyes and took a long breath. "Tie?" He mumbled it but it was apparently enough. Tony's fingers slipped under his chin, pulling him up for a kiss. 

"Be right back."

For a panicked moment he thought Tony was leaving the room but instead he heard Tony rummaging around in the drawers behind him. A few moments later Tony moved back into his field of vision with a length of light blue rope that definitely  _ wasn't _ the kind used for shop.

"You've had someone else down here for something like this?" He felt strangely upset by the idea. Obviously Tony had many partners before him so he had no reason to feel that way but--

"No. But rope is a lot less out of place in a shop than in my bedroom. This one is unused regardless." Tony flashed him a printed tag he'd just pulled from the rope. "No, you are the first I've ever had sex with in this house." Tony said, circling behind him.

"I...what?" He asked, head turning to try to follow Tony's movements.

"Howard made it clear to never bring anyone home." Tony said almost dismissively. "So I didn't."

He considered asking more but couldn't think of a question as he felt the rope beginning to slide around his wrists. He shivered. It felt oddly soft. "I have a knife in here." Tony said as he worked, "but if possible I'd prefer not to need it. If you need out let me know. I'm using quick release knots just in case." He nodded.

Tony pulled and the ropes drew his arms behind his back. It was tight enough to feel but not enough to hurt. Tony checked repeatedly as he worked to insure he was comfortable. It felt strange. Not bad just strange.

"Test it, gently." Tony said as he stood. As his metal arm pulled he felt the rope tighten on the skin of his other arm. "Good. I'm not saying you can't break that with but it won't feel wonderful if you try. Now where were we?"

Tony knelt in front of him and he began to stroke in long slow movements. He tried to hold Tony's gaze but it wasn't long before his eyes rolled shut of their own accord. It wasn't fair that Tony knew every trick. 

Tony leaned forward, Tony's lips ghosting over his. He surged forward to try and deepen the kiss but Tony leaned away, keeping it light. "Uh uh uh. Remember who is in charge?" Tony's purr shot straight to his cock. 

Tony had barely even done anything and he was already getting close. As if hearing his thoughts Tony's hand dropped away. He whined but managed to keep his hips from chasing the friction. "Someone is on a hair trigger tonight." Tony said, easing back then rolling to his feet. "Maybe you should just stay there while I work. Calm down a bit."

"You better fucking not." He snarled as Tony wandered off. "Damn it Tony." He squirmed against the rope. 

He was so focused on how exactly he could stand without his arms that he jumped when Tony's fingers touched his shoulder. "Breathe Buck." Tony soothed. He pulled in a breath of air. He hadn't even noticed he'd stopped. "I wouldn't do that unless you wanted me to." Tony continued quietly. "Some people like it though. Tied up so the only choice is just to relax. To let go."

He had just enough time to think that it didn't sound like such a bad thing before Tony's teeth closed on his shoulder driving out any logical thought. 

Tony moved to kneel in front of him again. Tony licked and kissed his was down his jaw and across his chest. His lips wrapped around his left nipple at the same time as Tony's hand wrapped around his aching cock. He whined, his back arching at the dueling sensations. "Tony." He whimpered but Tony didn't answer. Instead he kissed a fiery trail across his chest to catch his other nipple and bite gently. He opened his mouth to warn Tony he was close but even as he did Tony's hand fell away.

"So good." Tony murmured into his chest. He knew exactly where Tony's lips were heading and he squirmed at the idea but Tony nipped down his stomach and along his thigh. He thrust forward in frustration. Tony leaned close, the reactor pressing into his skin. "Gonna make you come, then I'm going to fuck you. See if I can make you come with just my cock in your ass. Sound good?" 

He nodded frantically, trying to use Tony's closeness to find some friction but Tony was too far. "Need to hear it." Tony said firmly.

"Yes. Please yes."

"Good."

And in one fluid movement Tony slipped back and swallowed down his cock. Before his brain could even cope with the transition Tony's mouth was gone. He made a noise somewhere between a sob and a groan as he was again left thrusting into nothing. 

"I can keep you like this." Tony's fingers ghosted over him. "For hours just right on the edge." Another quick stroke and then nothing.

"Tony. Please?"

"Please what? Keep going? Keep teasing you?" Tony's fingers ran over his balls, which were pulled tight to his body. "Or are you ready for my cock pressing into you? Remember, I need to hear it."

"Pl…. please." He managed before Tony's hand wrapped around him again and his brain shuddered to a stop. Just as quickly it was gone again. "Please. Want to." Tony's hand on him once again derailed his thoughts. "Evil." He grumbled. 

Tony laughed. "Poor Buck. So close."

"Please fuck me." He managed to force out before Tony's hand could tighten around him again.

He was momentarily aware of Tony's lips wrapping around him and the swipe of that impossibly amazing tongue before his world went white. He wasn't sure how long he sat boneless but as his senses started to slot back into place he found Tony had moved. His head now rested on Tony's shoulder. "Ff...uc.k" he mumbled. 

Tony laughed, warm and gentle. "Love you." Tony whispered.

"Love you too. You gonna fuck me or not?"

Tony blinked then laughed again. "Lean forward." He did, still braced on Tony's shoulder. He felt a soft tug on the ropes then they loosened, falling away.

"Hey. I was using those." He mumbled.

"Hush. Flex your arm for me. Make sure there is no numbness."

He couldn't stop himself grinning at he moved the metal arm. "Nope all is good." He said brightly.

Tony pinched his side. He squirmed away from the pain laughing and moved his arm, stretching his muscles. "I'm good." Tony moved the ropes then pushed his chest. He lowered himself down, the coolness of the floor startling against his back. 

Tony's fingers softly squeezed his ass cheeks before spreading them apart. Tony's finger ghosted softly over ring of muscle. He whined. Tony seemed to understand. His finger pressed into him, the gentle ache grounding. Where had Tony gotten lube? It was still a strange feeling. Not a bad one but still strange. 

Tony didn't give him time to adjust before pulling his finger out and pressing in again, starting a slow steady rhythm.

It felt like no time at all before Tony was easing in a second finger and taking aim at his prostate. His spent cock twitched almost painfully as it struggled to fill.

"Tony." He moaned not sure if he wanted more or for Tony to stop.

By the fourth sharp thrust against his prostate he was fairly confident more was the correct answer. His cock throbbed as it filled, the edge of pain mixing with the feeling of Tony's fingers in him. When Tony's fingers slipped free he whined, a soft keening sound.

"I've got you." Tony purred. Tony eased in, his cock impossibly larger than his fingers had been. His back arched up to meet the slow drag. Tony curled forward, catching his lips in a rough kiss. Tony's hands pulled his thighs, bringing his legs up. The first actual thrust connected with his prostate. "Right there?" Tony asked. He nodded.

Tony began to move, slowly at first but then picking up speed, each thrust pounding his prostate. He could hear himself making sound but he couldn't even begin to know what those noises were. His cock, still only half full, leaked against his stomach. He could feel the pressure building fast. 

His hand instinctively moved for his cock which ached for any friction. Tony's hands batted his away before Tony's hands closed in his wrists, pinning them down. He squirmed without really trying to break free. The feeling of Tony's weight pinning him made his pulse jump. Without Tony's hands holding his thighs he had to focus on keeping his legs up and his back curled so Tony continued to hit the right spot. It was far too much for his mind to track.

When Tony leaned back, Tony's hands returning to his thighs he reached shifted his hands to find Tony had somehow bound them to the leg of a nearby bench. He gave the bind an experimental tug before letting his arms go lax. 

He was already so close. If Tony would just touch him. Anything. Even the teasing little ghost touches like when Tony'd been edging him earlier would be enough. Anything would be enough. If he would just touch...

His muscles pulled taut a moment before the first roll of pleasure hit him like a freight train as his vision went white. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt Tony's thrusts become sharp and fast and then the warmth as Tony filled him. 

He felt boneless, completely unwilling and unable to move. He groaned and he heard Tony chuckle. A hand was braced on his chest and he felt a light tugging at his hands. Then at once his wrists were free. He rolled then without thinking. 

"Be right back." Tony said softly before slipping free. He groaned again as the sudden emptiness made it very clear just how sore his ass was. Tony kissed his forehead then stood. 

He let Tony wander around cleaning up. He didn't move when the warm cloth wiped his chest and stomach clean. He felt so heavy and lazy.

"Come on Buck. Let's get to bed." He jumped, eyes opening. "Were you starting to fall asleep?" Tony teased, offering a hand.

"Shut up." He mumbled, letting Tony pull him up. Half walking half stumbling he followed Tony up the stairs. As soon as he fell into bed, sleep swallowed him.

Tony

"Fuck!" He grumbled, as wrench he needed slipped from his grasp and clanged down to the floor. He let his head drop into the top rung of the ladder. The last few weeks had gone surprisingly well. RJ had settled into the house like she'd been there her whole life. She'd already wrapped everyone around her tiny little fingers. 

The case worker had come twice and was very pleased both with the home and RJ's progress. Apparently Jess was completely in the wind now. Three days ago everything finalized with the adoption. Bucky had complete custody. He was relieved how smoothly it had gone.

RJ had become best friends with the bots and picked up on their language faster than he'd ever been able to. She was now having full conversations with Dum-E and insisted she understood his answers. He couldn't respond if that was childhood imagination or actual fact but Dum-E listened to her far better than he'd ever listened to him. Most mornings they found her up early and taking adventures with the bot.

Bucky had started catching her up on the schooling she'd missed out on. RJ was incredibly smart and was already beginning to haltingly read little training books. She'd also spent hours 'helping' in the lab. She had quickly learned the wrench and drill bit sizes and loved darting back and forth to hand him different tools. For the first week while he explained it all to her he was pretty confident it was all miles over her head but two days ago she'd managed to ask a question about the wiring he was doing that actually made him stop and stare. 

Yesterday he'd taken a break from his own work and walked her through making a circuit board. He'd done most of the soldering but she'd done a few herself and for a first go it wasn't half bad. He'd installed the board in his old remote car and RJ had spent all day driving it around the house.

The integration of Jarvis, with the three story tall ceilings had been another issue entirely. Dum-E and U took breaks in playing with RJ to sweep the mess as he tore holes in the ceiling to accommodate wires, cameras, speakers, and the general tech Jarvis needed to run the place.

"Here Tony." He jumped as a hand touched his leg. Bucky passed him up the wrench. "That's the third time this hour. Maybe it's time for a break?" He glared but didn't answer. Bucky, of course, was right but he certainly didn't need to know that. 

A shrill string of beeps, followed by giggles alerted him to RJ's return to the grand entrance. RJ  _ loved  _ to help Mama in the kitchen and was apparently pretty good at it. Dum-E had been banned from the kitchen after adding a spoon to the blender and turning it in. The resulting strawberry colored kitchen had taken hours to clean. They had ordered pizza that night.

Now when RJ was in the kitchen Dum-E sat outside the door like a dejected puppy until RJ returned. "Come on Tony. Let's have lunch." Bucky called.

"Yeah. I. One second…." He tightened down the bolt he was working on. Setting the wrench in the tool box he climbed down. 

"Daddy!" He heard RJ say happily followed by a grunt as she ran and jumped for Bucky to catch. He smiled. 

She really did seem to be opening up. Last night Pepper had determined her hair was  _ just _ long enough to pull into the tiniest pony tail and RJ had kept it pulled back since. She loved playing with Pepper's hair and he didn't doubt once it got longer she'd keep it braided or something equally stylish.

He hopped the last few steps to land next to Bucky. "Dad!" She said reaching for him. His heart froze. 

"What did you call me?" He asked softly, collecting her into his arms. His eyes met Bucky who looked equally surprised.

"I was talking to Mama and she said it was okay." RJ said as if this explained everything.

He opened his mouth to ask but Mama's voice came from the dining room. "She said she didn't want to call you Tony but she couldn't call you Daddy because Bucky was Daddy. I just gave her opinions."

He turned, his mouth dry to look at RJ's smile, already a perfect mirror to Bucky's. "You can call me anything you want to sweetheart." He said, unable to stop himself from hugging her close.

"I love you Dad." She said, her voice muffled in his shirt.

"I love you too sweetheart." He said, unable to stop the tear from slipping past his lashes.

"And I love you both." Bucky said, his arms wrapping tightly around then both and squeezing as RJ giggled happily. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!
> 
> Also! I have a newly made discord for fans of Wolfloaner and I's work. Feel free to join us [here.](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn)

**Author's Note:**

> I am also on [ Tumblr.](https://skyshadow3246.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop in and say hi!


End file.
